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Good Old Fashioned Fun
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Author:mattzarella
IP:205.117.XXXX
Date: 07/29/07 02:07
Game Type: Starcraft
Labels:Image Heavy(2), Famous Reporter(1), Starcraft(2), Rare game(1), Gorgeous(2), Great Writing(2), Long(2), Funny(2), Strategy Focused(1), Flashy(2)
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Report Rating: 9.2, # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for mattzarella: 8.2941

General Requirements

This is a relatively graphics intense report, so modem users should beware.

The report is best viewed using Mozilla Firefox in 1280x800 resolution. Please do not use Safari to view this report, as it actually seems to have the most problems (although they arenŐt major, I would still rather everyone view the report as it was intended to be seen).

A Message Before the Report

I have always felt - since my first visit to this website almost five years ago - that the potential for a "battlereport" is unlimited. The only restraints on the already vague idea of a recording or retelling of a game are either what the author or the community sets, prefacing even the writing of the report itself. I have always felt myself fortunate to have landed here and not at an alternate reporting site, such as starcraft.org; then I would have been constrained by that particular community's idea of a "battlereport" - usually a piece of work relating directly to Starcraft, Warcraft, or Diablo (being the omnipresent viral marketing Blizzard employees that they undoubtedly are over there). However, I happened to click on this link instead of another by chance, and wound up here amongst generally good people. Most importantly, I have found with this Starcraft-based site a freedom of creativity and a community that is accepting of most any subject matter, as long as the report itself is well-constructed, thought out, and contains enough phallic references to satisfy. Even with all of its obvious ties to Starcraft and RTS games in general, the idea of a battlereport has become ambiguous enough - in a good way! - that allows for authors to break away from what is traditional and explore the realms of different games, genres, and beyond.

Not that Starcraft is a bad game to report on. Without it, the entire battlereporting concept possibly may not have materialized beyond game reviews and replays (or some might argue that the entire country of Korea might have collapsed in upon itself as a submarine too deep in the ocean would if the game were never released). However, I believe that it is only a beginning. The platform for this website could not have been a stronger one to launch from and gain a solid foothold in the gaming community, but I frequently find myself wondering while playing a game if it would be "reportable." I'm sure that many of you dear readers have had the same feeling while immersed in a nerdy utopia - "If I could find a way to take screenshots on my TV..." or "damn, if only I wrote in English comprehensible enough to post on a public website..." Something to that effect.

My own experience as a writer for this site has been a near-spiritual one, a journey to find the next mecca of battlereporting. I have been constantly looking for the next new game or new subject that could possibly be twisted into a report in some fashion, generally without success but not for a lack of effort. Since the community here is usually very open to new material, I have not held back in looking for a refreshing topic or game to write about - in fact, my one limit seems to be that there are simply too many other games out there to report on. With every session of nostalgia-rousing SNES cartridges or brand-new PC games I find a dozen different ways that that particular diversion could be transmogrified through the spoken word and excessive pictures into a report or piece of fiction. It is an exciting endeavor, to find and probe new games for reporting potential, but when it comes down to the writing of a report there are few games and subjects which I have been able to spare time for. The hurricane reports had practically written themselves during a power outage, so they did not require an excess amount of attention to write (not to mention, no pictures). The Legend of Zelda report was excruciatingly short and bland, so it can be assumed that I did not waste much time on that one either. The Final Fantasy Tactics reports are long, but I enjoy writing them, and the writing itself comes in bursts of thousands of words in an hour or two.

I suppose that the long-winded point I'm trying to make is that there are perhaps hundreds of other games out there that are "battlereporting" material; they have either been lost to time, considered unworthy, or have been written on but poorly and in bad taste. I believe that this site will receive at the very least a firm revival upon the release of Starcraft 2, but there should be no reason to stop there. I urge every one of you reading this to pick up an old game that may have been a favorite many years ago, or perhaps a new game that you are currently neck-deep into, and write a report on it. I personally don't care if it is a piece of fiction, a firsthand retelling of your experiences, or a battlereport by the most conventional form of the word. Just get out there and pick something to write on - then do it! Use the soon-to-be increasing popularity of the site to your advantage and test your audience to see if they agree with your choice of work; if they do, good, but if they don't, fuck them. Literally, if you want better ratings. Someone may take you down a peg for writing like an idiot, or composing terrible pictures, but nobody should be as brazen to call you out just on the subject matter. If it exists, you can make it entertaining, and that's what this site is about.

Regardless of your choice, I implore you to start writing NOW. Make it long or make it brief; I would personally rather read something from someone who is attempting a report rather than a detestable nothing. Go out tonight and download or pick up that old game, dust it off and load it, and think of a way that you can make it into a story or report. Who knows, dear reader; maybe the first game you pick up may be your own reporting diamond in the rough. . .

hi i am small: is Decay an alcoholic?

SmarterChild: Decay an certainly is.

hi i am small: suddenly i think you're an alcoholic too

Go ahead and click the title image to go to the report.


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