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"If You Like Sex..."
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Date: 05/10/05 07:05
Game Type: Starcraft
Labels:Image Heavy(1), Starcraft(1), Gorgeous(1), Great Writing(1), Pro Player(1), Long(1)
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Report Rating: 8.2, # of Ratings: 4, Max: 9, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for BlueRibbon: 7.4348
Old School Battlereporting: "If you like sex, you'll like this."

RE-RE-Update! Replay added. Can be accessed through this link.

Firefox Link Here-> Click this link to view in Firefox. Cannot view whole report in Firefox if you do not click this link.

... Author note: This report was meant to be viewed using Tequila, Jack Daniels and a few bottles of Colt 45 Malt liquor. Using these will make this look great (particularly the Malt Liquor). Truly, you will find it easier to view this in IE (rather than Mozilla Firefox, or Opera), with your text options set to Medium or Larger (to make the report sync up a little better). You may also set your Display options to 1024x768, for the best looking report possible but it really shouldn't be necessary. Also there is nothing wrong with your brightness setting. OK, it has been brought to my attention that the pictures are a little on the brightside. I'm working on a pretty burnt out video card so I was unaware that they were as bright as is said. I'll attempt to shore them up and replace them with less bright pictures. In the meantime, please lower the brightness on your computer screen (if it bothers you to that extent) thank you very much.

... I'd also like to note that this report has so many images you'd think it was a secret link to Google Image Search, but in fact it is not. Subsequently, your modem may get used as a ball in a baseball game, your cable may find its way into the dishwasher, or your DSL may get the smack down laid on it. In short this report is Picture Obese. Have a nice day.
Sincere thanks to all.
- BlueRibbon

... That's right, I'm back, baby. And although I was working to be less cheesy, lets face facts people. What would a battlereport be without a little Swiss, American, and Provolone. Not to mention a dab of homosexuality. Add extreme boredom, and a guy with an increased sperm count, and you've got a recipe for a great, big, better than sex, StarCraft: Brood War Battlereport.

... Just incase you don't know yet (and you should, you psychics), this battlereport will be between two professional gamers on the map, Neo Legacy of Char. This map was used in several World Cyber Games tournaments before this year when it was finally excluded, along with classics like Lost Temple for unknown reasons from the list of Tournament Maps.

*****This section is for if you have never played or viewed the map before. Or possibly you may just want to refresh your memory. If you want to get a decent overview of the map, continue. If not you may proceed past the next set of centered asterisks that are below *****

... The map has a fairly standard placement. It has three mineral patches per base. The first two bases, being your naturals, have Gas. Thirds lead into Naturals that lead into the Main that is up a ramp. Four bases. The middle is an open fighting ground without much to obscure movement but a few barely noticeable doodads (nothing like four temple walls, two statues and one temple). Two Islands. It is pretty comparable to Lost Temple. However, there are many differences. Each Natural, and Third expansions have cliffs above them with quite a lot of room. Each of the Thirds cliffs is also the cliff to the other Third below, or above it. Therefore taking these cliffs can be vital for your defense, as well as keeping the enemy out of another expansion. There are four bases at Two, Five, Eight, and Ten o'clock (or at NE, SE, SW, and NW (in the same order) for you clock-illiterate people out there).

... In this game Five o'clock, and Eight o'clock are the starting bases for each player, respectively. The islands for this map are not placed in the corners like Lost Temple. The first is placed North of both the Ten o'clock base, and the Two o'clock base, but in the middle of the two. The other follows the same placement, but south, and between Eight, and Five o'clock. Player one, Slayers_`Boxer` received his position at Eight o'clock. Player two, [pG]DIDI, received his at Five o'clock.

***** End of Map Overview Section *****

... Like I said before, this game will be two professionals, on a professional map. Lets move onto the Player Profiles that I like to put together before each report. This is one of my more favorite parts as it gives me a chance to learn a great deal about professional gamers, as well as give you some information that you might not have known about your favorites, such as their phone numbers, street addresses, sexual preference, and TRUE gender!

Profile One: Slayers_`Boxer`

... Slayers_`Boxer` is a world renowned professional gamer. He was recently given an award called the "ESR: Greatest Gamer of All Time." He defeated some other well known faces such as "Grrrr...", "Fatal1ty" (considered to be a rising star in the gaming world, reaching the top tier of Counterstrike) and "Potti" (considered by most to be the best Counterstrike player of all time). Potti took home a modest "Second Best Gamer of All Time." Boxer, otherwise known as the Terran Emperor, is one of the most noteworthy professional gamers ever. Many people in the western gaming world would not even know about WCG should Boxer have made the choice to pass up StarCraft, for something else, on that fateful day he purchased it. Standing 5' 8 1/2" (180 centimeters) he hails from Korea. He weighs 154 and 3/10 pounds. His real name is Lim Yu Hwan, and was born September 4th, 1980. You can send fan mail to him at Don't sign him up for porn though (I already did). He often uses aliases if he plays Broodwar anymore to escape raving fans. The following are some of those aliases: LimTerran, LimYH, WoodJohn, [WCG]Player_kr, ??Terran??.

Profile Two: [pG]DIDI8/DSky.DIDI8

... [pG]DIDI8 appeared, at first, to be somewhat of an enigma. Although he wears the [pG] tag in this game, it is unlikely you will find any information on him by googling that name, or searching [PG]'s clan site. The reason for this is: he now has left the StarCraft world to play WarCraft 3 ROC, and TFT. He now uses the name DSky.DIDI8 (DSky, is also a professionally sponsored team). He hails from Bulgaria. From what I've read he apparently uses Night Elf on WarCraft 3, and is quite skilled. He exhibits some of the best Protoss skill I have ever seen on Broodwar, leaving the question: Why leave to play WarCraft3 when you are so good at StarCraft? Like a lot of people who left for the same reason, I'm betting on that BroodWar just got boring, and WarCraft 3 is a brand new face. Or he just prefers homo games.

The Report FINALLY Begins

... As this game begins Boxer draws Teal Terran at the eight o'clock position. Meanwhile Didi gets Yellow Protoss, and draws the five o'clock position. Both start on their builds.

...Didi begins his build with a standard Pylon/Gateway/Assimilator/Cyber Core, headed for Dragoons, and then up the tech tree. Boxer begins his build with a standard Depot/Barracks (arranged for a block)/Gas/Depot (finishes block)/Factory/Factory, headed for Tanks & Vultures.

... As the Dragoons finish, Didi locates Boxer directly across from him, and sends his lone finished Dragoon to attack. When the Dragoon reaches Boxer he finds a completely defenseless block. He knows that Tanks are obviously on their way, and needs to hurry to accomplish anything.

... The Dragoon fires a few shots at the middle Supply Depot, when Boxer shows some cunning micro. He sends three SCV's to the Depot making one repair it, well the other two repair the SCV that the Dragoon begins firing upon. Not long after this Boxer's first Tank comes out, and scares the Dragoon off. When this happens Didi hides his scout Probe behind Boxer's Natural's mineral line. Boxer follows up his defensive maneuvers with starting both Mines and Speed upgrades for his Vultures. By doing so he has passed up early Siege and will have to do without. He goes on to produces 4 Vultures from his now two functional Factories (Both with Mac shops).

... As he moves his Vultures and lone Siege Tank forward, his Vultures spot a yellow Dragoon sitting in the Terran third. Because Vultures are stupid, and useless (just like Badme <3) they run right past him, just out of his range. However, as the Tank nears the sight, he attacks. The Dragoon starts to run past the Tank, trying to get into Boxer's base. However, on his approach he runs into two mines, blowing him up. In the meantime Didi finishes a Robotics Bay, and begins an Observatory.

The First Punic War

... When Boxer's Vultures arrive at Didi's base they run into three Dragoons firing their Dragoon man-juices at them. Obviously feeling inferior the Vultures lay their best offensive weapon, Mines. Although one mine blows up on two Dragoons neither of them die, and the Vultures fall back. To clear what remains of the Mines Boxer's Vultures left, Didi moves his newly completed Observer into view. His Dragoons dispatch the mines, and continue on their way out to the Eight o'clock choke. However, when they arrive they run smack dab into a Pimp-Battalion of Boxer's troops, led by a Fearless Deon Marine. The Dragoons retreat on sighting the deadly Terran force like the like whiny sissies they are.

... As the Terrans continue to close in on the Dragoons, around eight o'clock's third, a group of Terran Vultures runs past the retarded, retreating Dragoons, and begin to lay mines. In response the Dragoons turn around and run back toward the Tanks. By doing so the Dragoons finally lay claim to their stupidity by getting caught in a pincer. The Dragoons had no choice but to stand and fight, and the idiotic Vultures have no choice but to lay Mines right in the middle of the fight. The Mines naturally acted as a double-edged sword and took down a Tank as well as the Goons. The Dragoons somehow managed to take down all but one of the Tanks in the fight. Boxer hurriedly moved his Vultures past more Dragoon reinforcements that were headed to the third, and up into Didi's flowing mineral line. The ever-confused Dragoons quickly chased the Vultures back into Didi's main, but by the time they arrived the Vultures had popped about 5 Probes, including his entire gas line.

... Meanwhile Boxer had been setting up Missile Turrets next to his Tanks that remained below the cliff. They were now in perfect placement to do damage to Didi's mineral line. Boxer's Engineering Bay was already floating over to the site. The only thing keeping the Tanks from laying siege to the Probes was a Shuttle overhead carrying two laming Dragoons. Boxer knew he needed only to wait until one of the Turrets was finished to beginning popping Probes. Didi also knew he only had that amount of time to stop the siege. He moved two of his Dragoons, now finished killing the pesky Vultures, off his cliff and toward the site. They approached right as Didi unloaded the other two from the shuttle, popping the Tanks and repelling the impending siege. Meanwhile, a Reaver had just finished and was awaiting pickup.

... Alternatively, Boxer might have found it to be more rewarding to conserve his units, ignore the possibly of popping a few probes (at the cost of 3 Vultures), and sieged up. He may have been able to contain Didi (which if you're looking at the scroll bar's length, it is quite obvious he wasn't able to contain him).

... As Boxer retreats, Didi prepares his attack. He has been teching to Reavers since he began his Robotics Bay. As soon as the battle below his Main's cliff was finished, Didi took his Shuttle that had dropped the Dragoons on the Tanks, and loaded up his one finished Reaver.

... Boxer was not in the dark on his opponent's tech, however. When Boxer had snuck his Vultures by Didi's, apparently, Drunken Dragoon Platoon he noticed the key to Didi's entire tech, the Robotics Support Bay. This not only told Boxer that Didi intended on using Reavers, it also let him know that Observers were imminent (and that there would be no DT fagging as yet).

... As Didi loaded and shipped his Reaver bound Shuttle to Boxer's base, he encountered his first problem. A Turret. Although he had intended on flying right in and onto Boxer's roaring economy, he now not only had let Boxer know he was coming, but would have to waste more time moving around the Turret, well Boxer sieged his Tanks in preparation of the oncoming attack.

... Didi moved his Reaver north around the Turret after sustaining a few strikes. He proceeded to pull into Boxer's mineral patch from the North, after a sneaky Ob found a safe path. However, when the Reaver set off, an incoming Article Shell from a Tank just South of Boxerís Command Center instantly hit him. Didi quickly picked up his Reaver and went on to search for a better spot to land. Once again he released his Reaver onto a Tank blast just West of Boxer's gas. Didi figured that it would be a good idea to get the hell out of there as a nearby Turret entered its final completion status. Didi moved his Shuttle to Boxer's natural to look for a possible undefended expansion to rape in the arse. However, when he reached it he found nothing but an empty plot of minerals. Boxer was obviously no idiot, and had no intention of letting anything interfere with his expansion that was actually in creation up his ramp South of his block.

... Didi left his Shuttle on standby outside of Boxer's base as he went to attend to a few things. He began an expansion at his natural. In the meantime some of Boxer's Vultures made a quick move in and out of Didi's Drunk Redneck Dragoon Platoon and Didi was forced to pull his Dragoons back before they trailed the Vultures all the way back to Boxer's base and got themselves killed. Didi had not been gone long when the unthinkable happened...

... That's right, the unthinkable. Boxer had magically pulled a Wraith out of his ass (where he gets most of his strategies). When Didi looked back his Shuttle was being shot with small dildo shaped missiles and he had to do something quickly. He decided that he had to at least save the Reaver if not the Shuttle, and unloaded the Reaver. Unfortunately for the Reaver (and for Didi) he unloaded it successfully three times in a row onto Tank shells. This officially ended worry of the Reaver harassing his expanse that was soon to be up and running.

... While the early game harass had gone awry for both clubs, Didi had come out on top. He had made away with a functioning expanse at his natural, and another close to finish at his third. He had several functioning Gateways, and was pumping constantly retreating additions to his drunken Dragoon platoon. His natural was now a very productive place. He now had a good-sized Dragoon force and when his third's Nexus finished he would have a substantial lead over Boxer.

... Boxer on the other hand had done pretty well himself. He had avoided losing lots of SCV's to the Reaver, and only gave up one (including one SCV that took a direct Scarab shot and took only fifty damage. I knew he hacked...). He now had his Natural up and running but wasn't working on a Command Center for his third. Instead Boxer had been working on his next move. After his Wraith destroyed the Shuttle, and his Tanks deposed the Reaver, he added a Control Tower to his Starport. He was going to drop Didi.

... Boxer intended to drop Didi. That much was obvious. But where? Where would be the best place to drop? The place to do the most damage, obviously. Then he thought, "Hey this is Char. There are lotsa cliffs!" (Note: This may, or may not have been his exact thought.) After making two Dropships, and filling one with four Goliaths, and one with two Tanks, he set out for Didi's natural's cliff. He used waypoints to move his Wraith, followed behind by the Dropships, south to the edge of the map. This area where he moved his troops through is above lava, and inaccessible to ground troops. Therefore he could safely move his troops through it and onto the cliff through a backdoor of sorts.

... Didi had thought that his cliff above his natural was safe. He had already put two Dragoons on the cliff, and two more were sitting beside the cliff to defend any approaches. Didi figured that he had his economies secured so he proceeded to continue to mass Dragoons near his now functioning third.

... Didi now thought that he could start to contain Boxer while expanding to the map. But before he ever had a chance, Boxer showed up at his base in fashion. Two dropships swooped in on his naturals cliff and unloaded four Goliaths and two Tanks. The two Dragoons that Didi had on his cliff were too insufficient to fend off an attack of this magnitude. Well the Goliaths and Tanks pounded on the Dragoons, this bought Didi enough time to run most of his probes up to his now fully functional third. Eventually, however, the Dragoons burst into blue pools of water, and the Tanks sieged up. Didi knew that at this current moment he was incapable of saving his natural as he had neither enough shuttles or storm. Thus, he was forced to abandon his natural for now.

... Thankfully for Didi his Dragoons had stalled the Tanks on his cliff from laying siege, and saved his probes or his loses could have been much more substantial. Didi lost two Dragoons, and a few Probes that were stragglers, and of course his natural. But as a Protoss in PvT you should be able to shrug off the loss of one expanse. Didi knew that his natural was vital for his gas output, but he already had another base on the way at two o'clock's main. Boxer, however, also knew of this base, and was already on a mission to destroy it.

... Like Bob Marley says, "Don't worry, be happy." But for Didi I don't think anything short of boobs in his face would have helped him stay happy after all the luck he need to save himself next (then again, Bob Marley also smoked a hell of a lot of weed. Maybe that would have made Didi happy too. Drugs and big boobs. Hell, for that matter, Drugs, big guns, and bigger boobs!).

... Boxer, well all this had been going on, had sent his dropships back to base a filled them up with Tanks that were just sitting around anyway. He knew that he could find a good target on Didi's base somewhere, but where? He knew that there had to be a base somewhere at two because the Vulture he had used to patrol it had been killed. He figured, "why not scan them?" He started with the Main, and no more scanning was needed... Bingo. He saw that the Nexus had not warped in yet, and no units were even close to it to save it. He instantly launched his Dropships toward the base. Didi really needed to count his blessings after what happened next. Boxer's Droppers flew past a group of Didi's troops. Unfortunately for Didi (and you can tell by his micro after noticing it) he was not sure if it was Boxer or a neutral unit (and there are numerous neutral units on this map). Boxer flies his troops into the main at 2 o'clock after just barely not giving himself away. However, this time he would not be so lucky himself. When his Dropships entered the base they ran right into a cloaked, little, lonely Observer next to two's main's mineral patch. (just a coincidence I'm sure. Right, Didi? Huk.) Boxer added to the problems he already had caused for himself by pausing to attack with his unloaded Tanks by macroing units at home. Didi took full advantage. He moved his big, thick, rod-like, (mmmm rod-like...) force up the ramp of the base. Along the way he scooped up four Zealots in a Shuttle to drop on the soon to siege Tanks. The Tanks only got off (mmm got off...) a few shells at the warping Nexus before the Calvary (mmmm horse penis... Er wait. I'll stop now) showed up. Before too long four Zealots jumped out of the shuttle and right into the middle of the tightly packed units. Boxer knew that he had been found out, and decided that since he was going to lose the Tanks anyway that he would focus every shell the Tanks had on the Nexus. A few Dragoons were the first of the regular Protoss forces to show up and in the end the Tank focus fire proved futile. He had only nearly red lined the Nexus when the last tank bit the dust (left it with around 600 life no shield).

... Boxer already had another plan ready, however. With the two Dropships he had thus far used, he added another two. He filled one with four Goliaths and another with two Tanks and sent all four to Didi's natural's cliff (two empty dropships for the troops he had left on Didi's natural's cliff - for the dirty hippies who don't get it, and the assholes who are just skimming this fabulous report ;]).

... When Boxer's Dropships arrived at their intended location, they picked up the other four Goliaths, and the other two Tanks and began to set off. The Wraith that was still there lead the way looking for Dragoons and a good place to land the troops. Luckily Boxer did this or he may have flown four dropships into a group of four Dragoons, and two Zealots on Didi's cliff. He instead landed his troops just south of Didi's third. There were no Protoss troops in sight, so the Tanks sieged up and the Goliaths started to pop Probes. The Tanks did some damage, but eventually the Protoss soldiers showed up, and they were not happy to see the Terrans. The Tanks started to bombard the speedy Zealots as they charged the pack of Terran units and popped a few, but a full control group of Zealots is hard to tackle without Vulture support. Barely any micro present in this battle, as it was more or less over before it started. The Zealots made quick work of the Goliaths and the Tanks.

... Boxer was still not running low on the amount of tricks left in his bag, and now had started his next expansion at his third.

... Didi was now cleared to retake his natural (but doesn't know it, nor will he for awhile), and has just set cannons on the natural cliff at 2 o'clock (to keep tanks off).

... Boxer still had not given up his dropping hopes. He once again had loaded up four Dropships with assorted metal (this time adding Vultures to the mix). He began to move his Dropships toward two o'clock's main for a second strike. This time though, his Dropships were intercepted by the large amount of Dragoons controlling the middle of the map. He lost one Dropship before smartly unloading a Vulture so that the Protoss would focus on it rather than the Dropships. After narrowly avoiding disaster, he sent his Dropships home and continued to work on his push/defensive matrix, that was below his cliff.

... As Boxer returned to his base he already had an impressive amount of troops and now his third is nearly finished. He knew that if his third successfully is finished and gets up and running, he will be dead even with Didi. Boxer continues to work on his push adding more Tanks, Mines, and Turrets.

The War at the Center of the Earth

... Didi continued to manufacture many Dragoons and Zealots. He knew that he would make some sort of move shortly if he were to continue to contain his foe. He sent a group of four Dragoons forward to investigate, and they instantly were fired on by Vultures, and Tanks. He immediately retreated them and began to gather his forces. Boxer made a few in vain attempts to lure Didi's Dragoons in as Didi prepared to assault the push. By now Didi had a large group of about eighteen Dragoons (and a few Zealots) just north of the center of the map. He also had a full control group of Zealots to the east of the map center (blocking any Terran incursion onto his third). Just as Boxer pushed toward the center of the map, Didi struck.

... Didi's troops form one fourth of a circle around Boxer's troops and begins to destroy poorly placed troops. The Tanks are, for the most part, grouped, giving very little resistance against about 15+ Zealots that remained after the casualties suffered so far. His troops continue to cut through the Terrans at an amazing rate.

... Boxer, however, is as resourceful as ever and continues to send up reinforcement of Vultures, and continues to siege Tanks. He does so in such a fashion that a line stretches back to his Third in an impressive defensive meat grinder. He also adds two Tanks on his Main's cliff to throw shells down onto the Protoss forces. He still takes countless casualties of massed forces that were up front.

... Ultimately, Didi destroys all but two Tanks, and then mysteriously retreats the remainder of his forces (about 1/3 of what they were) and returns to the center. Apparently he must have believed Boxer had already or was, bringing more troops up. He probably figured that Boxer had already brought up more Tanks and Vultures, and that he wouldn't have made it much farther.

... Boxer (who was probably more surprised about Didi retreating then everyone else in the world) shockingly holds on to his Main at the cost of about 10 Tanks and Vultures. Didi pulled his troops back and retook control of the middle of the map. He now knows that he has solidified his control over the game with keeping Boxer from pushing out of containment. By this time Didi has expansions at his third, two o'clock's third, two's natural, and two's main. He also has coming an expansion at ten's main.

... Boxer had been working on his next expansion and planned to do so at ten o'clock's third (directly north over the cliff of his own third). To defend his hard to get to expansion he has placed two Tanks on the cliff, and three turrets preventing any newbage (or choboage for all you WWC3 followers) of any kind. After he is set to expand there he notices that he has a decent amount of macroed troops and is ready for some action.

... Boxer moves his newly created force of Vultures (in excess of twelve) and moves them toward his choke (now at the entrance to his third). As Didi doesn't have a huge lead over him in the manpower category, he sends them north. They run into some Zealot & Dragoon action, but quickly run around and through the stunned Protoss soldiers. As they run past, headed for 2 o'clock, Didi realizes Boxer's plan. He plans on assaulting the three expansions that Didi has running at 2 o'clock with his fast worker popping Vulture force. Didi knows that he cannot simply charge after the Vultures because if they do not corner them, the Vultures will dart right back past without batting an eyelash. He moves his troops North tailing the Vultures.

... As the Vultures run past the Protoss units (flipping them the naughty finger) they quickly lay mines just outside of 2 o'clock's third. They then began to speed toward the first expansion they could come across at 2 o'clocks third. They run in popping Probes as soon as they see them. The Protoss forces were not in any way scared, and knew they had to save their workers. They charged through the minds in pursuit. The Vultures thought they had the Probes at their mercy, but a Photon Cannon nearby (and the Protoss Units closing from behind) forces them to choose a new target. They quickly slip out and continue north to 2's natural. They once again begin popping Probes, but this time there is no cannon, and they manage to rack up quite a few kills before the Protoss catch up again. The Vultures then press their luck and try to go up the cliff toward 2's main, but are met by two Zealots that are holding on the cliff, and the Vultures begin to be pincered by the Zealots from behind. Two frisky Vultures manage to escape, but ultimately face their doom to the cannon, that was afore mentioned, as they try to flee the base.

... Boxer knew he had taken down a good portion of Didi's economy, but he also understood he was still behind. He knows that he now has a base that is capable of mining but needs SCV's. He takes all of his workers from his main, that have been spread out to his natural and third, and sends them to 10's third. As they leave, they are spotted by a rather large force of Protoss warriors watching the center. Chaos ensues.

... The zealous Protoss troops charge forward and Boxer is forced to engage. He unsieges his Tanks, and moves his Vulture crew out ahead. Many of the Protoss warriors follow the SCV's towards 10's third, therefore leaving a less the suitable force to content with the Terrans. Although the Zealots and Dragoons do kill some Tanks and Vultures they are inevitably forced the retreat as they don't have enough comrades to continue the battle against the Terran nemesis. However, the group of troops that followed the SCV's find the Expansion at 10's third, and popped a few SCV's before retreating due to Tank fire from the cliff (the Tanks also popped a few SCV's on "accident." SURRRRE BY ACCCCCCCIDENT!).

... With Boxer snatching up the expansion at 10's third, he had closed the gap of expansions on Didi. He now had 3 bases to Didi's 4. However, Didi had several new bases being created. He had finally started to retake his natural, and had new bases coming at 10's natural, and main (unknown to Boxer).

... Didi also had two geysers that were not empty at his expansions and the three expansions he was taking had gas. Boxer had 1 gas geyser at his natural, but about at this time the minerals there ran dry making it only useful for gas. Boxer had caught a break and lost it just a quickly, as he was now back to two bases to four (and soon to be 7).

... Didi had bases at 5's third, 2's third, 2's natural, and 2's main. He was taking bases at 10's main, 10's natural, and 5's natural.

... Boxer had bases at 8's third, 10's third, and had a sole functioning gas geyser at 8's natural. He was currently not taking any bases.

... Once again Didi is not settling for containing his opponent. Rather he chooses to again attack <"font color="teal">Boxer up front, and attempt to end the game right here and now. Didi takes his force of about 20 Zealots, and a few assorted Dragoons, and launches a large attack against Boxer's main base. Boxer, meanwhile, has about 10 Vultures and assorted Tank support. However, he also has the valuable Spider Mines at his disposal.

... As Didi moves in his troops are instantly hit by siege cannons, and multiple mines unearth themselves. Although having observers, they were really quite useless, as Didi only had a few Dragoons, and they were stuck in the back of the attack (A bad idea, to say the least). The Vultures attacked the Protoss relentlessly, and although sustaining some early casualties from the ol' "Speedy Zealot Lure Mines," he was about to fight off the Protoss invaders.

The War for 10 O'Clock

... At about the same time as the previous battle began, Boxer landed a nice welcoming party on Didi's nice new base in 10's Main. Not to mention finding a new yellow base, Boxer also found out just what exactly Didi was doing next: Carriers. That's right, a nice line of Stargates had been completed recently, and now were busy pumping out "Pimp Blimps." Boxer, however, was not having any part of that, and set out to eliminate the expensive Stargates now. Throughout this fight Boxer faced very little resistance from Didi but lacked necessary force to quickly destroy the base before Didi showed up to crash the "Carrier Bash." Boxer knew he would need time to destroy the Stargates, and so he first focus fired on the sole Pylon powering the three Stargates.

... Didi soon realized his base was under attack, and had to quickly respond to save it. He hurried a decent sized group of Zealots toward the base, but all for not. They quickly encountered a Boxer party who had occupied the central area after the last battle. The Zealots engaged but were quickly eliminated thanks to Vultures and Tank fire (along with the occasional Spider Mine).

... Because of his current lack of firepower Boxer sent a large contingent of forces toward the NW base in an attempt to overwhelm the Stargates and any economies that may be running. He moved his troops straight out of his main at 8, and straight toward the Stargates. Along the way, he met with more resistance than he thought he would. Firstly, Boxer ran his large group of Vultures smack dab into a rather large cannon net that was in the works at 10's natural. He quickly closed in with his Tanks and tried to siege up, but now two Carriers had been created and had begun taking pot shots at his troops (who were lacking anti-air). Boxer managed to take down the expansion at the 10's natural, but was unable to support his troops on the cliff, who were lost. He also sustained heavy casualties on taking the natural, after many of his troops were swallowed up by cannon fire.

... At this point, Didi had re-established his main ground forces, and had a large contingent of Zealots, along with scattered Dragoons. He knew now that Boxer had expanded at 10's third and was stealing the minerals that should be his every second. With the recent destruction of his opponent attack force, Didi made his move. He launched a counter attack onto 10's third (one of only two functioning bases left in Boxer's control.

... When Didi made this move, Boxer was all ready for it. He had recently placed two Tanks and a few Missile Turrets on the cliff above his own expanse with the intention of fighting off both Carriers and ground forces. Didi first destroyed the makeshift supply depot wall created by Boxer, and then moved on to the Command Center and the Tanks that were on the cliff. Didi was quite unaware of the Tanks that were protecting the expansion and threw his helpless Zealots into the maelstrom that is Tanks on Ledges. When he did, Boxer simply lifted off his Command Center, and moved his SCV's behind the minerals. This forced Didi's troops to run around trying to find someone to fight, well getting siege sledge hammers dropped on them.

... Boxer now had re-established his forces (much to the same effect as his opponent just had) and now had a sizeable force to rescue not only his expanse, but contend with Carriers with his new Goliaths. Boxer flew in a few Goliaths to take on some Carriers, while his main core group of troops drove the distance to save the third at 10, and any remaining SCV's. When they arrived that battle a small group of Protoss troops that were still there, until the Protoss fled. The Goliath drop also managed to take down any, and all Carriers created by the Stargates in the area.

... Boxer followed up saving his expanse with a semi-counter. As he moved to perhaps make an attack, he was met by a band of Protoss soldiers in the middle of the map. Though they offered little resistance and were mopped up rather quickly, they did manage to eliminate a few Terran troops thereby limiting, and inevitably ending any chance of a counter at the current time and place. At about this point both sides (although unevenly expanded 4-2 (one base eliminated by Boxer, one (10's main) has no probes mining, and five's third drying up on its own lowering the number down from 7-2)) are close to equal. They have both experienced heavy casualties, but Didi leads because of his economic advantage. Troop counts are about equal, and Didi has lost his two Carriers, though his Stargates are still alive and active.

... Following the destruction of Didi's natural at 10, Boxer decided that his one gas (which was now running low) was just not going to cut it. He instantly snatched up the natural at 10 (however, Didi still controlled the Main at 10). He knew that his opponent was just up the hill from him at 10, and must be unseated from that base as well. However, he first knew he had to secure the recently acquired base, and start bringing more gas into the fold (now with the need for Goliaths).

... Now that Boxer had established his superiority, Didi could hardly stand idly by well his opponent destroyed his base at 10's main. Therefore he decided to take a large group of newly created Protoss warriors and take the fight to Boxer long before any attack on 10's main (and thereby the Stargates) could be constructed. Didi began massing his troops in and around the center of the map. He had a very formidable group of Zealots and Dragoons YET AGAIN, and was ready to put something in a full nelson, be it animal, mineral or vegetable. Boxer first tried to lure him to attack his Main at 8, but Didi declined. He moved his men into position to attack 10, and retake his fallen lands. He launched a kamikaze charge on 10's third where a decent garrison of Terrans were lying in wait.

... As his attack began his Dragoons took the lead and began battling with Vultures, and a sole Goliath. Following closely behind them were about 15 Zealots ready to kick some serious biker butt. Unfortunately for Boxer, he did not have time to substantially reinforce this area after the previous battle, and he had only one lone Tank defending the entrance. This made Didi's work much easier, as his forces swept over the area, despite the hefty number of Vultures. They eliminated the Terrans with minimal loses, and then moved on to have a little fun.

... Following the destruction of some of Boxer's valuable military assets, Didi decided he would go SCV bashing. He decided to just leave the SCV's at 10's third alone due to the Tanks on the ledge above that Command Center, and decided to attack 10's natural (which he just lost). Boxer had just maynarded multiple SCV's to that location so Didi ordered them to kick a few Deion Peon's asses and they followed their orders well. He succeeded in killing many SCV's before the remainder retreated. However, Boxer was able to move the Command Center at 10's natural up above the cliffs to save it.

... By this time, both sides resources were running drastically low. Boxer had used up all of his three bases at 8, and his sole remaining other expanse at 10's third is not only a mineral only, but low on SCV's. Didi had now exhausted both his Main and third at 5, and all three of his bases at 2. He still had two expanses remaining, but both were none functioning due to no Probes. Due to this Didi and his recent battle with Boxer at 10, he believed the path for his Probe Pilgrimage was secure, and he could move most of his probes to 10's main safely. However, he was sadly mistaken. During the battle at 10, Boxer had macroed like the crazy korean he is, and had a large force, yet again, of Tanks, and Vultures. Didi really couldn't have had any idea of this, and decided to move his Probes quickly and quietly up to 10's main. Things did not go smoothly, to say the least.

... Before Didi even knew what was going on, Boxer was assaulting 10 again trying to prevent an expanse at 10's natural, and to eliminate the one in the main. However, Boxer's troops attacked just as the bigass ol' line of Probes approached 10. During this battle Boxer is forced to lift his Command Center at 10's third off, due to Dragoon fire.

... Though Boxer lost several Tanks and a few Vultures in this battle, he deduced by logical reasoning that the whole base at 2 was mined out. Considering how many Probes passed by during the fight it was obvious that Didi was now relying on 10's natural and main exclusively. Boxer knew this was to his advantage, but somewhat not at the same time. He was almost completely on empty, and it is unlikely that 10's third can support his entire army. He knew he had to find another expanse, and set his sights on the island in-between 5 and 8. He knew it had both gas and minerals, and would be very valuable. Well he began construction of his new Command Center, he also loaded up a Dropship with three Vultures, and decided he could surprise a few new Probes at 10's main if he left now. As he arrived, so did the Pilgrim Probes, and he began to beat those Pilgrims like how I want to beat the entire cast of Will and Grace (very violently with large cumbersome objects, i.e. computer printers, typewriters, televisions, etc).

... As he did this Didi sent his garrison at 10 to get rid of the Vultures before they caused any more wreckage. However, Boxer's micro proves more than a match for chasing Zealots, as he micro's the Vultures around the mineral patch while killing random Probes. Eventually he succeeds in killing every Probe at that mineral patch and still manages to have one of the Vultures escape through 10's natural. Boxer also lands his Command Center back at 10's third after he was forced to lift it off during the last battle. He also drops off a group of Goliaths as a vanguard, and a new control group of Vultures come driving up over the horizon. A few dropships come flying in over the ledge as well, to begin prepping for a larger scale drop on 10's main.

... Again Boxer wants to drop his opponent at 10's main, and try to cripple his economy. He knew that, at the time, all of Didi's Probes were at 10's two bases (main and natural). Once again, Boxer loaded up twelve Vultures into 3 Dropships and launched a dropship incursion onto Didi's two bases at 10. He dropped 8 Vultures at 10's main, and looped 4 in around behind 10's natural, and landed them on the cliff to pop Probes from a elevated position. Facing basically no resistance at all, his Vultures were able to destroy the Nexus at 10's main, and until Didi moved his Probes back, pop several Probes at 10's natural. Eventually, Didi caught a break when a Carrier popped out of one of the Stargates, and he quickly loaded it up with Interceptors. He quickly dispatched the 4 Vultures on the cliff above 10's natural so that he could continue to mine, and then followed that up by wiping out the Vultures in his Main, that Boxer had lazily left for dead.

...Following this battle, Boxer ran into a few Archons and Templar in the middle of the map with Vultures, and quickly retreated, now knowing that Didi was starting to Templar Tech. Didi on the other hand had opened up mining at his natural at 5 once again, and was using this source to make up for his loss of 10's main. The base:base ratio was now at 1 1/2:2, and nearly 2:2 (Boxer:Didi (1 1/2 because Boxer nearly has a base complete on the island at 6 o'clock)).

... Boxer knew that with the loss of 10's main, that he had closed the gap on Didi, and now was in prime position to strike, and possibly win right here and now. However, Didi had a Carrier, and though that doesn't seem like much, at this point in the game, where both have used up a large portion of minerals on the map, that is a very important playing piece. His Carrier could not obviously win the game for him, but it could do a decent amount of damage before its death, and he intended to see to that.

... Boxer was again ready to drop on 10. He loaded up a few dropships with about 6 Goliaths and 2 Tanks, and flew them into 10's main which was now basically vacant (apart from some Stargates). His concern was not with the Stargates in this base, but with the cliff advantage, and the ability to hit 10's natural. He landed his troops and started to get them in position to rain Article Cannon down on the Protoss Nexus. Didi spotted this drop with an observer, and was ready to deal with it. First he tried to simply kill the Tanks with his lone Carrier, but the Goliaths nearby would have none of that, and he was forced to retreat. Didi was not without options, however. He had a large contingent of Zealots at 10's natural who charges up the cliff to 10's main as soon as the order was given. They wasted no time in attacking the Goliaths and it seemed like an easy victory, before a few Science Vessels decided to crash the party casting Defense Matrix on everything in sight, and prolonging the siege. However, even with defense matrix, 6 Goliaths are hard pressed to beat a control group of Zealots, and were soundly defeated. The Zealots mopped up the Tanks, and thought they were finished with drops. However, even before they had reached the bottom of the cliff, their Carrier counterpart had come under attack back at 10's main by a new drop of 3 Goliaths, and sadly the Carrier was lost without much of a battle. Boxer, following the destruction of the Carrier, picked up his Goliaths, and moved them around the outside of 10's natural onto the cliff above the base, and without his prized Carrier, Didi was quite helpless.

... During the previous drop Boxer had created a few Wraiths without cloak to use as a good Probe harasser, and he instantly put them to good use. He flew them to 10's natural which was now basically completely empty of anti-air, and was able to pick off defenseless Probes at will. He also had created a large group of Vultures and Tanks yet again.

... On the other hand, Didi had made a hefty group of troops during the drop, and they were now in the center of the map, getting ready to strike Boxer's main base at 8. Just as he was about to do so, he ran into the new Terran division out in front of 8's third's choke. Yet again, a huge battle was started due to Vultures being dickheads.

... Boxer was trying probably getting ready to attack soon as well. But at any rate, a large scale battle occurred just short of 8's third. Didi launched several assorted waves of troops due to reinforcements coming in during the battle. First a few Zealots and Dragoons pretty much stumbled onto a large Terran force just sitting around, and started battling, but after awhile, both sides started pouring troops into the battle. Although the battle was long and costly for both sides (pretty much both sides lost their new two control groups), Didi technically won as he was the last one standing, but I would say it was more of a draw as both sides neither lost, nor took any lands.


... Following the large scale battle between the center map, and 8's third, both players begin to try and reload their shotguns. Both have experienced heavy, heavy casualties throughout this match, and now it would seem it is coming to an end. But for who? Who can take control of this bloody match, and end it? And who will have their Waterloo?

...Didi decided to try to take a commanding lead at this point by openly assaulting 10's third. Despite the fact that it was almost depleted, every mineral for both players at this point was very, very valuable. He moved one half a control group toward the Command Center, but along the way was lured by the always clever Boxer. He lured Didi's troops down toward his third at 8 with a quick run in and out Vulture lure. He managed to succeed, but he also drew in a few more nearby Protoss troops. By the time Didi noticed, he was semi-committed to the battle. He decided to instead, use one of his VERY, VERY few Psy Storms here to chase off the Terrans well he retreated. Both sides took about 3 casualties, but both sides have very few troops left, making even the smallest battle that much more important now.

... During the last skirmish, Didi had filled a Shuttle with 4 Zealots and launched them to his cliff, above 10's natural. He decided he had to clear off the Goliaths, or he was going to begin seriously losing the economic war. He looped his Shuttle around the same way that Boxer had gotten in, and began his drop run. As his Shuttle swept in it took minor damage from the Goliaths before all 4 Zealots were on the ground, kicking some serious Goliath butt. All 4 Goliaths fell to the 4 Zealots with only 1 Zealot loss.

... After watching his Goliaths fall to the hands of the pathetic Zealots, Boxer launched two consecutive drops. The first he sent up through 10's main and looped around back onto 10's natural cliff. It contained 4 more Goliaths who instantly chased off the Probes mining below, once again. The second was a 3 Vulture/1 Goliath drop that landed on 10's main, and began firing at the Nexus before they decided to switch up to the pylon powering the Stargates, which was eliminated about 2-3 minutes before a Carrier popped out. Both drops went well until Didi destroyed the drop on 10's main (of course after the pylon to his Stargates was killed.

... During these drops, Didi was attacked in the center map by a sizeable contingent of Tanks and Vultures. However, Boxer never sieged his Tanks. The battle resulted in a large loss by both sides, but the Terran's lost more (about 10 Vultures/1 Tank).

... Boxer was far from done with 10's main (which was currently settled by Didi but he was not mining it). Once again Boxer launched a drop on the base. This time he launched several Vultures and about 4 Tanks. He was very adamant about taking the base by this point, and had already used too many resources to simply abandon the plan of taking it. He flew his Command Center that he had been using at 10's third (which was now depleted) up onto the cliff, and at the same time unloaded his newest drop. He hoped to take the base in one swing.

... Didi however, had other plans, and launched his usual counter of Zealots and Dragoons up into 10's main to try and save the base again. He successfully fended off the first drop but experienced many casualties. You'd think would be it from a resource strapped Boxer but he managed to scrape together two more drops consecutively, and eventually there were no troops left to oppose him at 10's main.

... Boxer had now become too offensive for Didi to contend with. Meanwhile, he, had become complacent and defensive. Boxer needed to only deliver the final blow. He added more troops to his Dropships and landed more troops in 10's main, where he finished off the Nexus, and landed his Command Center. He instantly took all of his SCV's and ordered them to march right through 10's natural to 10's main and to begin mining one of only two remaining barely touched Mineral Deposits (other: island at 12 o'clock). Didi followed him, and managed to kill numerous SCV's with a Psy Storm raid drop, but in the end, a large Terran Convoy was spotted heading to 10's natural which still had about 2-3 mineral patches available, and the last of Didi's minerals. He simply conceded, leaving the game in the face of an unstoppable Terran battalion.

... That's right folks. The winner of this grueling match is Slayers_`Boxer` (was there ever any doubt in your mind?). Both players played an amazing match, which I believe is one of the greatest. If you think about it, this game was only one or two SCV's or Probe's away from being a draw. Congrats to Boxer, and I hope to report many more of his games in the future (but not the quite so near future, this fucking thing took me forever).


Don't think I forgot about all you horny children; Here you go:

... Well anyways, much love to all for reading especially this long ass thing. <3333333. Hope you enjoyed; If not tell me, I'm game to critism. Until next time - Peace out.


Some other reporting goodness:
By Me:
Make That Nada, By Your's Truly
LSN Report, By Your's Truly
Blitz over Lost Temple, By Your's Truly
Lurker Stew and a Side of Mashed Zergling, By Your's Truly

I Hate Medic Choronicles, by WWC3
A Bloody Rivalry or Will My Roommate Ever Win?, by WWC3
Bunkerless CC Positioning, Heartcutter (or God, for you newbs)
Starcraft: A Love Story, Drefsab (God #2)

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