Zelda: Behind the Games

The Legend of Zelda, a classical series that has brought joy to many youngsters around the world. It features the adventures of Link as he saves the princess Zelda and defeats Gannondorf time and time again. This series has earned world-renown for it's often-mimicked dungeons and child-friendly gameplay. But could a game series as old and entertaining as this have a deep and terrible secret? Join me, Turbo_Noob as I uncover the unholy pasts of Link's adventures in Zelda: Behind the Games.

Chapter 1: The Anatomy of Link and Hyruleans

Link sits idly on a stump with Navi, his fairy friend

As you can tell from the picture above, Link is undeniably of Aryan decent. Blue eyes, blonde hair, and defined cheek bones are a trademark of the so-called "master race". Nintendo chose to disquise this feature by renaming the Aryan race Hyrulean. Yet a rose by any other name doth smell as sweet, and the same goes for genetics and bloodlines. The observation that Link is Aryan is an undeniable fact, but this leads to the question of why is it so damn important whether link is Aryan or not? He could be Mexican for all I care! Well most authors (as well as game designers) never leave in any details by accident. Everything from the color of a dress to the protagonist's best friend are handpicked for certain reasons, however subtle they might be. And believe me, Link's race is very, very important for the argument to come. For Link is not the only Hyrulean in the land, Zelda and her father the king are of the same race. So the king, princess, and hero of the story are all Aryan. Quite a coincidence don't you think?

Chapter 2: The Anatomy and History of Gannondorf

The evil Gannondorf

Above is Gannondorf (the kings of thieves), a very evil and sinister man. Now look closely at his features: red hair, large nose, large eyebrows. Oh my god, could Gannondorf be.... Jewish? With a closer look of his backround, Gannondorf hails from the desert, was kicked out of the desert by the Gerudo thieves, and plans to take over the world by usurping the king. Well, the Jews were also exiled from their desert homeland by Muslims, who's woman dress not unlike the Gerudo thieves. Jews also are thought to be attempting to usurp the thrones of many countries, as stated by many people over time. In fact, Gannondorf rose to power by pretending to befriend the king, then assassinating him and taking his crown. Not only that, but Gannondorf also transforms into a pig as the final boss in many of the earlier Zelda games. The very same method that the Nazis believed the Jews would take over with. This could be the rarest coincidence in the history of mankind, but it probably isn't.

Chapter 3: The Game's Objectives

So you play as Link, who is Aryan, to defeat the vile Gannondorf, who is Jewish, and save Hyrule. Because after Gannondorf takes over Hyrule, he ruins everything. The dead rise from their graves to attack the living, entire cities are wiped out, and the very Earth seems to reject his rule. Naturally, it is up to the Aryan hero Link to take him from power and right what is wrong, because Gannondorf is obviously unfit to rule. But he is not alone, the very Gods themselves(Din, Nayru, and Farore) aid Link to defeatGannondorf and bring peace back to their land. Meaning the gods also reject Jewish rulership. The conspiracy is beginning to unravel no?

Chapter 4: The Hidden Objectives

Ok, so why is Nintendo making subliminal messages in their game about Aryans killing Jews? As you all know, Japan signed a non-agression pact with Nazi Germany that later became the Axis of Japan, Germany, and Italy. Could Nintendo be trying to start a second go at the holocaust by influencing children to hate Jews and admire Aryans as heroes? Only time will tell as hopefully more people will take up this mystery.

Miscellaneous Facts:

-The swatsika and triforce both contain 6 lines
-Master Sword? Master Race?
-There are no black people in Zelda
-Zora means gay in spanish(might be wrong)
-Hitler also quested for a magical weapon (the spear a roman soldier stabbed jesus with)
-Gerudo thieves dress like Muslim prostitutes
-The mysterious Shiek helps you along the way, implying the Muslims are also on your side
-The mirror shield has the symbol of islam on it(crescent moon)
-The Kokori elves worship a tree much like the ancient Europeans, the tree that Gannondorf destroyed
-Gannondorf casts evil spells at you
-Navi? Nazi? Pretty damn close

Special Thanks:

-THE HAMMER!!!
-Nintendo
-Consiracies
-op ~Nohunters
This report is Turbo_Noob quality

Copywrited October 3rd, 2004.(So don't steal it bitch)