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Loudest Incest
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Author:Ravage
IP:c-24-17-XXXX
Date: 06/21/04 05:06
Game Type: Warcraft 3
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Report Rating: 8.2, # of Ratings: 4, Max: 9, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Ravage: 7.7143
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For the uninitiated, HatoUP's Footmen Frenzy is a new take on the old UMS maps (Zergling Blood, Hydra Ranchers, and more recently Footman Wars). You start with a building that spawns footmen at regular intervals, as well as 2000 gold. Heroes may be hired for 1900g, and more powerful NoHunters-themed custom heroes can be bought after a short waiting period for 2025g

Each base has an area where items can be purchased and mercenaries can be hired. The middle area of the map has a different set of shops, and also provides mana regeneration for heroes in the vicinity. Gold is earned by killing enemy units and heroes, and can be put towards upgrading your army, hiring powerful mercenaries, or buying items. Players are eliminated by destroying their main building, and the last team standing wins.

We love the inhouse. Where nobody (well, almost nobody) complains about imbalances, makes fun of your mom, calls you a nerd, or disconnects (hehe). Let's take a look at the teams..

HatoUP aka Fox is the man. Big poppa. The Guamanian Gosu. He made the map and knows it inside out, making him one of the favorites to win any game he's in. Fox likes counters. A lot. He will rape a powerful strategy or hero just to say his map is balanced. He spawns at the top-left corner.

CattleBruiser and Jaood are the only team with more than one player. CattleBruiser is responsible for much of the programming behind the map--HatoUP's right-hand man as it were. He's one of the best team players around, passing gold liberally and generally being a synergistic player. Jaood likes to disconnect when he's losing. Both are dangerous players, and they hold the top-right corner.

Falcon is a beta tester. He's the master of Diablo II, which means he has excellent point-and-click skills. Known for abusing unintentional bugs and overpowered heroes, Falcon is notorious in the Footmen Frenzy community. He finds himself at the lower left.

Metal.Bark aka Richy Rich is me. I'm a beta tester who has probably logged more hours on the map than anyone else, making me an intimidating enemy for any player (or a giant nerd). I almost always select a Random hero, and I spawn at the lower right.

As mentioned earlier, players all begin with 2000g. The typical move at the start of the game is to select a hero from the taverns. Random hero is a popular option especially in inhouse games, in part due to the powerful items that accompany them. Both regular and custom random heroes come with a powerful Amulet that gives a bonus to life and mana, as well as Boots of Speed, which can also be sold to a shop for 225 gold.

CattleBruiser uses Random and draws a Priestess of the Moon. Although relatively weak in the early stages of the game, the Priestess' aura coupled with upgrading to ranged units is among the most powerful strategies out there. Jaood finds himself with a Mountain King, an incredibly powerful hero equally adept at killing heroes and masses of units.

After a short waiting period, Metal.Bark draws a HatoUP, which has Cold Arrow, Shadow Strike, Unholy Aura, and Stampede. This hero killing machine only gets more powerful as it wields arguably the best ultimate in the game.

Falcon finds himself with Edge. A powerful hero with boosted stats, Edge has Forked Lightning, Banish, Blink, and Phoenix. It also carries a bounty twice as much as most other heroes, making Edge a popular target for hero killing.

Curiously, Fox started the game without a hero. It seems he has opted to select a Custom hero, requiring him to get at least 25g to afford one. He sends a handful of footmen out to the middle of the map, hoping to score a quick kill. The team of Jaood and CattleBruiser are quick to meet him, and the advantage in numbers as well as having heroes promise a very one-sided affair.

Fox only needs to kill one footman to be able to afford a Custom hero. He sets his army to attack one of CattleBruiser's footmen and is able to take it down despite a Thunder Clap and overwhelming numbers. Fox retreats to the relative safety of his base once he's slain his quarry.

Noticing that Fox was without a hero, Jaood and CattleBruiser press the advantage, chasing the injured footmen and assaulting Fox's base. Although main buildings give off Devotion Aura to assist in base defense, Fox was unable to take advantage of the life regeneration that it only provides to heroes. With two heroes to none, as well as a sizeable contingent of footmen, the aggressors seem to have a significant advantage.

Realizing that a custom hero would likely not save him at this point, Fox opts to upgrade his main building to Night Elf tier 1 for 1050g, which produces Archers. Though powerful when massed, Archers don't hold up well against any unit type in small numbers--and wouldn't save him from the legions of footmen already laying siege to his base. Fox also upgrades one of his starting scout towers to a Cannon Tower for 500g, a powerful defensive structure capable of laying waste to masses of units (and low level heroes) very quickly.

Falcon gets in on the action, sending his regiment of footmen along with his Edge, hoping to score some quick kills as well as keep CattleBruiser and Jaood from becoming too powerful. The focus goes from Fox's buildings to Falcon's Edge, and Fox's Cannon Tower is able to complete in relative safety. A few potshots nets Fox the bulk of the footmen that were in his base, and some quick micromanagement allows him to kill Jaood's Mountain King and the Falcon's Edge.

Thanks to the two hero kills, Fox has not only upgraded tiers and bought a tower, but can afford a hero with almost no level penalty thanks to killing half of the heroes on the map. He selects a Demon Hunter, a powerful hero that is near-unkillable at high levels.

Meanwhile, Bark has moved to the middle of the map, oblivious to all of the action that happened at Fox's base. Picking off CattleBruiser's stray footmen, Bark makes a quick foray into CattleBruiser and Jaood's base only to be turned away once the retreating Priestess of the Moon comes into sight. Fox, Bark, and CattleBruiser engage in a bloody skirmish. Fox already has Archer tech, as well as a level 1 Demon Hunter. Bark has his Hatoup hero up to level 3, and CattleBruiser has his Priestess at level 2. Falcon and Jaood wait as their heroes revive.

Footmen from all factions clash at the middle of the map, and players micro their heroes in an attempt to keep them alive. Falcon's Edge wisely stays away from the bulk of the action, opting to safely pick off stray footmen. Fox's Demon Hunter is quick to mana burn any vulnerable heroes, while Bark and CattleBruiser position their ranged heroes behind their troops. Jaood takes a more aggressive approach, throwing his Mountain King into the fray and freely casting Thunder Clap on the surrounding footmen.

CattleBruiser is able to stockpile 650g and is quick to purchase a Scepter of Shockwave from his base shop. Scepter of Shockwave is one of the most powerful (and therefore popular) items in the game; it gives the hero two charges of a high level Shockwave, effectively killing low-HP units like Archers and Ghouls en masse. CattleBruiser does just that, maneuvering his Priestess into position and annihilating Fox's Archer army--and the advantage he had early on, in one fell swoop.

Fox retreats to the safety of his base, once again allowing his Archers to accumulate.

One of the reasons why the Scepter is so popular is that picking your spots with it will allow you to recoup it's original cost fairly easily. CattleBruiser exceeds that with ease as he demonstrates a rarely used (but incredibly effective) technique with Shockwave--the long range hero kill. Falcon once again finds himself waiting for his hero to revive.

Meanwhile, Bark has upgraded to Riflemen, ranged units with Feedback. Coupled with the Unholy Aura, Cold Arrow, and Shadow Strike, Bark suddenly finds himself with a very powerful hero-sniping combination. As CattleBruiser licks his wounds, Bark comes out shooting. A control group of Riflemen coupled with the HatoUP hero run around the center of the map sniping heroes. Three different heroes are forced to use Town Portal to escape, and Fox's Demon Hunter eventually falls to the barrage.

Although Bark did not come out of things with a large number of hero kills, the presence of his hero on the battlefield (and the absence of the others') gave his army a distinct advantage over his opponents'. Footmen Frenzy Town Portals only transport the hero using it, leaving units off to fend for themselves. This influx of experience and gold allowed Bark to tech to Human Tier 2, the fast spawning Militia. Fox quickly techs to Huntresses, and Falcon manages to scrounge up enough gold to upgrade to the Undead tier 1, Ghouls.

Armies clashed and all sides seem to be on equal ground. CattleBruiser's Archers have Jaood's footmen and Mountain King as tanks, while Fox is able to dance his Huntresses around slower units to get kills. Falcon's Ghouls seem to be outmatched but get their share of the action by flanking Archers. Bark's Militia are being kept in check by the many area-of-effect spells being used. Hero levels all around are fairly similar, with Falcon's Edge being a couple levels behind.

Looking to gain the advantage, Bark casts Stampede in the middle area of the map, hoping to take out the mass of low-HP units in the area. CattleBruiser countered quickly, not by stunning the HatoUP, but instead casting an ultimate of his own--Starfall! With units on both sides being quickly decimated, Bark cancels the Stampede, opting to focus fire on the Priestess with his remaining Riflemen. After reducing the Priestess' HP significantly, Bark gives CattleBruiser a dose of his own medicine, using a Scroll of Shockwave to finish off the hero and accompanying Archers.

Having gained momentum, Bark chases Edge into Falcon's base. Severely injured, Falcon furiously micromanages Edge around his main building using Blink, hoping to take advantage of the life regeneration his main building provides. Finding himself unable to finish off the sneaky hero, Bark dashes for Falcon's shop and purchases a Scroll of Shockwave. After being hit with a Shadow Strike, Falcon blinks his Edge away, and then uses a Town Portal, hoping to get out of Bark's sight range. Bark however, unleashes a Shockwave and takes out the hobbled Edge.

Meanwhile, Fox is up to some hero killing of his own. His Demon Hunter is in Demon form, and coupled with his growing army of Huntresses, he makes Jaood pay for not upgrading his units. Dozens of Jaood's footmen fall, and despite a valiant effort, so does his Mountain King.

Fox then retreats to the middle of the map, only to find Bark on his way back from Falcon's base. A few potshots and a Shockwave later, Fox's Demon Hunter meets an untimely end.
Small skirmishes break out periodically, and it becomes apparent that Falcon is the weakest link. With the lowest level hero (at 7) as well as a large bounty, Falcon finds himself unable to have his Edge out for very long before one of the enemy heroes hunts him down. His ghouls find some success in taking down unprotected Archers, but have no chance against any of the other unit types on the board.

Fox sits fairly well at level 9, and the Immolation coupled with Evasion allow his Demon Hunter to tank most of the units being used. He has since upgraded to Dryads, which are spell immune but are easily countered by essentially every unit type.

Bark has taken a comfortable lead at level 13, and his Militia only become more and more dangerous thanks to the speed bonus given off by HatoUP's Unholy Aura. CattleBruiser's Priestess is at level 9, and Jaood is at level 7. The combination of CattleBruiser's newly spawned Huntresses and Jaood's burly Mountain King allow them to farm the Militia and Ghouls running around the middle.

The Mountain King essentially wards off any heroes that seek to stop the Priestess. One sequence involved Starfall and Thunder Clap, which destroyed the low-HP melee units and gave CattleBruiser and Jaood valuable gold and experience.

Bark upgrades to Spellbreakers, which have the Magic Defense ability, allowing them to become spell immune at the cost of movement speed. HatoUP however, has Unholy Aura, and at high levels it increases movement speed to the point where there is no penalty for having Magic Defense on, making these Spellbreakers arguably the most powerful unit type in the game.

Falcon continues to have problems keeping Edge alive, with the HatoUP and Spellbreakers on the prowl. Bark is able to take out Edge twice, and takes control of the middle of the map. CattleBruiser and Jaood make a push out, but find their attack quickly stifled by focus fire from Spellbreakers and HatoUP's high level sniping spells. Despite holding a significant advantage, Bark is unable to lay siege to any base, fearing a counterattack or flank.

One of the things that makes Footmen Frenzy so fun is that it is very possible to get back in a game despite being behind. Jaood's Mountain King has silently kept pace with levels, and once it catches up to the HatoUP, the game changes very quickly. The Mountain King's high level Storm Bolt coupled with Avatar make it the ideal hero-killing machine, and there is nothing that even a HatoUP hero can do to stop it.

Meanwhile, Fox and Falcon bide their time, with the latter resorting to towers in an effort to stay alive.

Fox decides to attack the top-right base, hoping to score some quick kills as Bark has moved his forces back home. His level 2 Metamorphosis gives his Demon Hunter a powerful ranged attack, making up for the relatively weak firepower provided by his Dryads. Jaood has other ideas. Backed by Trueshot-aura'd Huntresses, the Mountain King makes quick work of the Demon Hunter, whose Evasion and high hit points did little against the might of a level 5 Storm Bolt.

Seeking to get some stray kills, Falcon advances as well, only to have the Mountain King make quick work of both his hero and units.

Bark has since upgraded to Knights, the final Human tier. They feature a low % Bash, and coupled with Unholy Aura, they become ideal for surrounding heroes. Bark is quick to join the action, but is just as easily turned away by high-level Thunder Clap from Jaood's Mountain King.

After a period of respite (as players waited for the Mountain King's Avatar to wear off), Fox revives his hero and sends his forces to Bark's as-yet untouched base. Unfortunately for Fox, Bark's base was on the opposite corner of the map. CattleBruiser and Jaood take the middle, picking off Fox's reinforcements and threatening to flank.

Bark's Knights are quick to surround Fox's Demon Hunter, and despite a valiant effort, it falls to the HatoUP's Shadow Strike.

Sensing an advantage, Bark counters quickly; after bolstering his forces by hiring a Paladin, he strikes. His HatoUP and Knights are across the map in a flash, supported by level 6 Unholy Aura. Bark's Knights are dealt with by Fox's Cannon towers, but they are able to draw fire away from the HatoUP, allowing it to cast level 3 Stampede and lay waste to Fox's defenses.

Bark is forced to retreat, leaving Fox without his towers and a heavily damaged main building.

Jaood and CattleBruiser move in to flank, and take hold of the middle. Jaood has upgraded to Grunts, and although he is behind in upgrades, they provide a valuable meat shield for CattleBruiser's Huntresses. They make a quick foray into Bark's base, but are turned away by an Arcane tower and a sizable force of Knights.

Falcon has essentially given up on the game. Being far behind and unable to earn gold, he has been sitting in his base hoping that someone would foolishly attack his collection of Cannon towers. A little trash talk later, Bark decides to go in for the kill. Supported by over 20 Knights, his HatoUP and Paladin charge in, and Stampede once again makes quick work of the defenses. Falcon's Cannon towers eradicate the Knights, but the Paladin's Resurrection has them up again in no time to finish the job.


Fox had sent his forces in behind Bark, hoping to ambush the engaged troops. His Dryads were quickly decimated by HatoUP's Stampede however, and after casting Mana Burn on the occupied hero, the Demon Hunter ran for cover.

Unfortunately for Fox, Jaood and CattleBruiser had taken up residence in the middle, and the Mountain King demonstrated why it is one of the most feared heroes in the game.

Jaood and CattleBruiser then advance on towards Falcon's base, having essentially cornered Bark's troops. Bark quickly reverses the situation however. Upon seeing the enemy troops, Bark uses Town Portals on both his HatoUP and Paladin, leaving his Knights to their doom. He quickly collects the Knights he has at his main base and goes back to the action, flanking Jaood and CattleBruiser's forces and not allowing them any route of escape.

Jaood's Mountain King uses Avatar, and a few Thunder Claps later, both old and new Knights are torn to shreds.

Bark makes a hasty retreat, leaving with far more than his pride hurt

Knowing that Bark has just lost his entire army, Jaood and CattleBruiser lay siege to his base. CattleBruiser sets his ranged units to attack Bark's main building, while Jaood's Mountain King single handedly occupies the Knights.

Fox seizes the opportunity, joining the fray with a large force of Dryads and his Metamorphed Demon Hunter. CattleBruiser and Jaood divert their attention to the new threat, and the Demon Hunter falls to a Storm Bolt and focus fire from Huntresses.

This window gives Bark a chance to regroup, and after Resurrecting his Knights, he is able to kill both Mountain King and Priestess of the Moon.

Bark is once again in the driver's seat; his Paladin has a level 5 Devotion Aura, giving a bonus of 12 armor to all surrounding units. Resurrection is at level 2, which basically means 12 resurrected Knights for every cast.

All three teams are essentially left at a stalemate; as Fox has demonstrated, players are more than willing to join the battle late in the hopes of swinging it in their favor. Bark roams the center of the map trying to draw out enemy units, but is penalized when Jaood's Mountain King takes out the Paladin.

CattleBruiser's Priestess has reached level 16, which means level 6 Trueshot Aura and a 70% bonus to his Huntress' damage.

Feeling that his units aren't being effective, Fox techs across races, shifting from his Night Elf tier 3 Dryads to Orc tier 3 Raiders for the cost of 1750g.

Jaood and CattleBruiser once again attack Bark, and once again Fox charges in to attack them from behind. This time, they are prepared. Jaood Storm Bolts the Demon Hunter, and CattleBruiser gives Fox a first-hand experience of how powerful Trueshot-endowed Huntresses are.

Fox decides to pull back the rest of his forces, allowing the duo to lay siege unmolested.

Thunder Claps are cast, and many a Knight fall to the high-octane juggernaut the ranged army.

Bark is able to beat back the attack with the help of Resurrection, as the proximity of his main base allowed quicker arrival of reinforcements. Huntresses fall and CattleBruiser is forced to run his Priestess away.


Bark seems to have the advantage, having beaten back the assaults with few losses. Both of the other teams have put up towers to prevent any easy win, and Fox's Guard towers (who have a 40% chance to Bash) and Jaood's Mountain King ensure that HatoUP's Stampede won't be cast for very long.


Unbeknownst to the other players, Bark has been saving his gold for quite some time. Rather than spending gold on the upgrades that were necessary for his units to keep up with the Priestess-fueled Huntresses, Bark had effectively done so by hiring a Paladin. Thanks to the Devotion Aura and liberal use of Resurrection, Bark was able to keep his units on par with the opposition while stockpiling over 11,000 gold.

For the cost of 10,000 gold, Bark purchases the Altar of the Gods--a 5 HP unit with two game-altering abilities. First is Divine Shield, which allows it to freely wander across the map. The second is a powerful version of Starfall, which deals thousands of damage per hit, killing all units in it's incredibly large area of effect in one wave.

Bark sends the Altar to the center of the map and uses it, destroying all the enemy units on the board in one fell swoop.

Bark then sends all of his forces to the top-right corner, where his Knights are able to quickly deal with the towers and CattleBruiser's main base. Jaood's Mountain King is revived moments before his building falls, and manages to get a Thunder Clap off before Jaood disconnects.

Bark then proceeds with the formalities, heading to Fox's base to end the game. Fox has since revived his hero, and despite a decent contingent of units, has no chance against the Knights and level 3 Stampede.

After just under an hour of total game time, GG's are exchanged and Bark emerges victorious.




Though this report was done on a 5-player game, Footmen Frenzy is best played with a full house (12 players). I opted to report on a small game so it would be easier to follow (and easier for me to report on as well). The map has drawn rave reviews from nearly everyone who has played it, and is very popular on both Azeroth and Lordaeron servers.

The map used in this game was a beta version. To download the latest version of Footmen Frenzy (or if you're interested in learning more about it) visit NoHunters.com or channel Clan NoHu on Battle.net Azeroth (USEast).


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