your home for Starcraft Home Forum Starcraft Tournaments

"blah blah 9 blah blah"

Nuke it Rico!
View or Add Comments (# of comments thus far: 46)
Date: 03/07/04 03:03
Game Type: Starcraft
Categorize this report
Report Rating: 8.0, # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for endersshadow: 7.7857

Before we get started, you might want to start playing Queen's We Will Rock You/We are the Champions. I listened to it over 100 times during the making of this report, tallying them up on a piece of scrap paper before the novelty wore off. Enjoy.

Hello. Several weeks ago, I promised a Warcraft 3 battlereport to several people online.

This is not it.

This report comes from the result of lacking a social life during the middle of February Break.

It is a report on an odd game type. Not your classic 1v1, nor an FFGAY. It is a 3v3. Now to introduce the cast:


You should know him by now from his EV:N reports. Decent terran who constantly intrigues me through his use of perfect grammar online. (Honestly, who starts every sentence with a capital and ends every sentence with a period? It's disturbing.) Likes Drow and Jazz Jackrabbit, so he's pretty cool in my opinion. If he could be any animal he would be a butterfly, so he could sting like a bee. Terran this game.


My friend from school, his name is Christopher Blinn. Due to inherent laziness among my friends, his name was tragically shortened to just "Blinn" in the seventh grade. His largest claim to fame in his short StarCraft career was losing to me in a 1v1 on Dire, losing 55 units to my 0. One of those guys who is mostly harmless in any scenario except "NR 25!!~", where he will kick your ass. One of the few players of Starcraft I know who merits both a phrase in bold and italics (there I go again!) Zerg this game.


Greatest achievement was going 23-0 KBK a few years ago, and inventing the phrase "keke." If you couldn't guess I'm that hardcore Korean gamer who inspired Boxer to turn pro and who you all long to be. PHEAR.

Alright that was a joke, hard as it is to believe. I'm actually a 975 ladder who is verbally abused by ZerG~LinG for (ONLY ONCE) joining one of those FREE WIN ladder games. Don't have high expectations for me. Protoss this game.

Anyway, we had been chatting in Nohunters for awhile about various stuff, and after a 3v3 pubby game was agreed upon I got the brilliant idea for making it on Winter Conquest. For those of you unfamiliar with anything non-LT, it is a snowscape map with few expansions and two islands in the center, which are usually the most hard-fought over pieces of real-estate. Eld quickly made the game and Blinn and I joined, along with our three opponents, scad2003, Gosu-Observer, and redmoon72.

The game started similarly to any other, with all three zergs (as well as Eld) fast expanding. For some reason I was chosen to focus on zealots/templar to halt any zerg offensive, as well as corsairs to hunts overlords and own mutas. I'm guessing our anti-terran strategy was left to the hands of my allies. In the meantime Shadow was doing a quick tech to hydras, and scad was organizing a marine drop. Eld at this point had little in the way of troops except some marines and two medics (mainly because of the money he had spent on the early command center).

After completion I sent two zealots to harass redmoon's expansion, but I was quickly beaten back by the combination of eight lings and an early sunken. Eld had sent some marines to support, but I told him not to bother as the zerg defenses were too strong at the moment. With our forces pre-occupied scad decided to launch his drop. Two dropships travelled the short distance to Eld's base and unloaded thirteen marines to cause general havoc. They succeeded in destroying only a few scvs however before some marines and medics mopped up the drop force.

After the drop all the players took a few minutes to power while I sent three corsairs around the map, managing to kill two of redmoon72's overlords in the process. After recieving a rude send-off by five of redmoon's mutalisks, my corsairs managed to find and kill another overlord hovering over the center island... Having watched the replay I can now say with certainty that that ovie was maynarding six drones to the expansion =]. Corsairs: 9. Redmoon72: 0.

Mini update. By this point in time all the players except for scad2003 have expansions running, and redmoon72 has begun the morphing of a hatchery on the top island. Shadow0fdeath seems to be going for some zergling/hydra combo, and in turn Eldritch has complimented him with marine/medic and some tanks. Gosu-Observer up to this point has been content with massing hydras in his expansion, and redmoon72 has begun the pumping of muta/ling. Scad2003 has chosen the path of the Starport, and I have of course gone the odd tech of speedlots and corsairs. -.-

Feeling pretty secure after stopping the first drop, Eldritch constructed a command center to float towards the bottom center island (which has a morphing hatchery of Gosu-Observer's building on it already). Scad2003 was persistent however, and after loading two dropships with two tanks and eight marines flew them over behind Eld's mineral line. The resulting chaos that pursued is predictable, with scvs and defending marines exploding everywhere thanks to the tanks (author's promise: I will never say that again). Shadow0fdeath sent some, aka all of his hydras to assist, but they moved back towards his base when Eld assured us that he was alright. With the help of some marine focus fire and the healing of his medics Eld managed to clean up the rest of the drop force before rebuilding. His second command center was left unharmed. During the battle I had destroyed the two terran dropships with my 'sairs before beeing shooed off by all of redmoon's zerg air force. They left me alone after flying over Shadow's hydra force, and I patrolled the skies to let Eld get back on his feet.

The drop, though stopped, had been disastrous for Eldritch. Only two scvs were left in his main, and at the moment it was as exposed as Janet Jackson during SuperBowl XXXVIII's half-time show. Were it not for his expansion his income would have been shut down entirely. I don't remember his exact words, but they were something to the effect of "Guard me for a sec, gonna go fuck that island over -_-." With that he lifted his second command center and began floating towards the bottom island. As soon as it left the ground I right clicked my sairs on it to stay nearby should I have seen any scourge in the area, and Blinn moved his zergling/hydra army to the valley between the two islands to thwart any muta reinforcements that would have come from the top island. A lone dropship of Eld's filled with four marines, three medics, and an scv, and after being dropped off and clearing the fledgling expansion began to construct their own. Eld used his scv to great effect during the battle, building missile turrets and even a bunker to help our forces for the battle to come.

For our opponents had indeed receieved the news of the fall of Gosu-Observer's expansion, and understandably did not like it. Five mutas and roughly ten scourge performed a quick hit-and-run attack on the ling/hydra of Blinn's in the center, but retreated quickly after seeing my eight sairs fly in. With the air lost to them Gosu-Observer and redmoon72 decided to take the ground.

The battle that follows is easily the bloodiest I have EVER seen in any Starcraft game.

With my zealots just heading out of my base and Eld's troops on the lower island, it was left to the hands of Blinn to hold the valley between both expansions so the base could be constructed and fortified. The combined zerg army of Gosu-Observer and redmoon72 was massive, numbering over eighty units in all against Blinn's thirty. The first wave of zerglings was easily put down by his hydras, and Blinn did a cool move, unburrowing his own zerglings on top of the enemy who ran over them, confusing them for a moment while getting some free hits in. Still, the zerglings kept coming and Blinn was forced into backing up. At this point some mutas came flying over the ledge of the top island to help destroy anything yellow, but my sairs forced them back. With nowhere else to run Blinn decided to stand and fight, and his hydras began to duke it out spine to spine with our opponents. Even fighting at a 3:1 ratio he managed to bring down a tremendous amount of the enemy, but in the end it was simply too much. Gosu-Observer's lings broke through Blinn's melee line and began hitting his hydras, and there were even five or six hydras on the cliff overlooking him that were shooting. When the rest of the hydras in the valley surged forward the rest of his forces were eradicated. With the valley lost to us Eld frantically built turrets around his island to stall any retaliatory hydra drops.

Convinced that they could end the game right now, redmoon and Gosu-Observer gathered up their remaining hydra forces and attack moved them towards Blinn's natural. Two sunkens and some scattered hydra created during the last battle were all he had to defend with, and I quickly sent my zealots towards his base to assist. On the way however, they were intercepted by at least thirty brown zerglings and held up considerably while Blinn called for help. A premature marine/medic group of Eld's stimmed and ran in to help, eradicating the last of the hydras only after taking heavy casualties. As the medics healed and the marines turned to depart the natural another two control groups of green hydras slammed into them from behind, and Eld's remaining infantry were slaughtered. After finishing off the infantry the hydras charged right back into the natural, backed by about ten zerglings that had run past my zealots during their fight.

It's time to do a simple math equation. 20 green hydra + 10 brown zergling = what?

That's right, complete ownage... FOR US KEKEKE.

For my zealots (with +1 attack upgrade for ling rape) had finished the fight with Gosu-Observer's lings and ran into the hydras assaulting Blinn from behind. With the the surprise pincer attack the majority of the hydra were slain and turned into little sausages, perfect with ketchup. A lone hydra managed to escape the valley, only to be cut down under a hail of red marine fire. The fighting was over for the moment.

Quick update. Scad2003 had not been a part of the last battle, as he had been producing battlecruisers(!) secretly towards the rear of his base. His hidden tech was not kept hidden for long however, as some scouting corsairs I sent out found them at the top left corner of the map. An alert went out to the rest of the team, and Eldritch began teching to ghosts and lockdown. A lone nuke silo was also constructed on his island...

With the failure of the attack on Blinn's expansion, Gosu-Observer switched directions with another large group of hydras he had produced, opting to send them my way. More than twenty hydra and a handful of zerglings slammed into my expansion, quickly destroying the light three-cannon defense I had stationed there. I lost all my probes and cannons at the expansion, but thankfully the nexus was spared after the hydras began battling the fifty or so cracklings thrown at them by Blinn =].

Following the victory Eld and Blinn agreed to take down Gosu-Observer, and with several control groups of cracklings, 3/3 stimmed marines, and medics, the expansion went down. Next came the main, and after recieving no help from his allies despite cries for help, Gosu-Observer left with a "gg." Now, AFTER HIS PARTNER HAD BEEN DESTROYED AND LEFT THE GAME, was the time scad2003 decided to get his hands dirty with his battlecruiser tech. Six of them broke through the clouds and above the loitering "maracklingec" (my best attempt at "zealogoonars" :D) and began firing. Approximately ten units of varying size, sex, and race died before my corsairs (who had destroyed eleven of Gosu's overlords during the fight) returned to fight the good fight. Liberal use of focus fire managed to take down two 'cruisers, and Eld even threw in a lockdown for style points. After losing another battlecruiser scad2003 pulled out, and I did the same with my four corsairs.

Fast forward. Roughly five minutes later scad2003 Takes six more battlecruisers and attacks Eld's long dried out main. Four lockdowns are cast on seperate cruisers, and my corsairs eventually destroy all of them. "Scad2003 has left the game."


Left alone in the 3v1, redmoon72 knew he had to do something drastic to turn the tide of this game. What better way than to take your opponent's only source of income? Loading seven overlords full of various zerg units he proceeded to drop them on top of Eld's command center on the lower island, casting ensnare with two queens on his forces before cleaning them up. Eld's bunkers and turrets never once stopped firing the entire battle, and at one point the battle became desperate enough for him to begin the nuking phase on himself. This was the absolute PERFECT bluff, for as soon as the warning rang out redmoon packed his bags and left the island with much of his forces intact. Eld was left to repair his buildings and rebuild the nuke.

With the crisis on his island averted, we gathered up our remaining (substantial) forces and attack moved them on the long road to hell through redmoon's expansion. The first obstacle: zerglings. Second: sunken/spore colonies. Third: hydra/lurkers. Fourth: TOO MANY OBSTACLES. Redmoon fought for every building square of land we gained, and at first it seemed as if we would be unable to ascend the well defended ramp into his main. It was guarded by at least fifteen hydra and two lurkers, and it would take more than some simple maracklingec to take THAT base...Except...Oh, WAIT.

I'll let the picture do the talking for me ^_^.

Needless to say redmoon's main was demolished by no less than seven control groups of our units, as well as four templar that I used to make archons out of. After this some "hacker" accusations rang out from redmoon, who said that I sent my corsairs away from his scourge before they saw them...MAYBE THEY WERE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE? EH? EH? -.-

Eldritch summed up the ending quite well in the game:

EldritchEvil: EAT FALLOUT

Post Game Interview:

Alternate post game chat with ZerG~Ling. Just copy + paste into whatever image editing program you own (most likely MS Paint) and enjoy. Props to ZerG~LinG for being so manner.

Wow. It's actually finished. I started this report back in January, and only finished it today because I put my foot down and set to freakin' work. I truly hoped you all enjoyed it; this has definitely been my longest battlereport to date, and with over 15 hours of work invested in it I can truly appreciate the work of great authors like ~Cattlebruiser~ and his Warcraft Report. And for those of you 56kers (except Slotham and Decay, <3) go stuff it. I don't care if I blew up your modems or caused your block to blackout trying to download this- my next battlereport (warcraft 3) will be MUCH longer than this. Time to upgrade boys and girls =]

- endersshadow

The replay of the game can be found here.

View or Add Comments (# of comments thus far: 46)
Back to Report Listing