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"baby jesus cries every time someone uses templar"

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Author:Desert Demon
Date: 02/07/04 07:02
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 8.5, # of Ratings: 2, Max: 9, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Desert Demon: 7.7353
Sorry to the three people who were expecting the FFA br, this game was played first and therefore gets to hang out at the top of the br priority list.

So I'm sitting at my computer table, waiting for someone to stop being afk and play a game so I can quench this insatiable thirst to report a game. Hours pass by, nothing going on, and cobwebs start to dangle from my hair. Moths eat through my clothes, and I start stinking of week old sweat that has yet to be washed. All this time I ponder the use of exaggeration in writing as a tool used to help emphasize a point.

Eventually, someone comes online. I barely register the fact that they've joined the channel, half believing that my mind is playing tricks on me. But hey, I like a game every now and then, so I say "hi" and wait for the response...turns out it was my imagination. Channel change.

Better luck this time. Someone's alive here, and I can get a game going. A 2v2 to be specific. I seem to make these exclusivley. Blahhhh.

Some general notes about viewing the pictures in this br. They're all Flash files, therefore you need a copy of Flash Player (obviously), and also some of them are somewhat interactive. The interactive ones have "hotspots" designated by the fact that these areas are significantly lighter than their surroundings. If you mouse over these, insights, ingame quotes, or something else will appear, thereby allowing me to declutter this as much as possible. Enjoy!


{FLW}BloodyK: The canadian terran boy in this game, BK (as he will henceforth be known) prefers to metal over medarine, and seems to like turrets. Okay, so I don't know his history. Meh.

x]BP[x: BP is born-to-porn from the last br, this time harrassed into wearing his tags (the heinous error in the players pic last br makes sense now, eh?) Go read the last one if you want to know more.

x]PT[x: PT, or poptart, plays protoss like a templar on speed, or whatever it is protoss use. He wants me to call him gosu, but I have some moral obligation to tell the truth, so I can't.

x]TF[x: TF is otherwise known as Bash-Legacy, and like BTP was harrassed into wearing tags for this game. Except he didn't capatalize them. asdf.

Mouse over the start locations to get awesome pictures of their starting buildings and peons! Joy!
If you haven't caught on, this was a 2v2 with teams as follows: BK/TF and BTP/PT on everyone's favorite chunk of ice, Silent Vortex. TF spawns at northwest sporting yellow, and playing as zerg. His partner, BloodyK, lands his terran CC at southeast. PT warps in as protoss at the southwest corner of the ring, and BTP takes northeast with terran. All four players start out with relativley standard builds, with BTP dual raxing, TF getting a hatch then a pool, PT warping in a gateway, and BK walling in.

BK gets a factory after the wall in, so either air or metal is likely from him. TF's hatchery is conveniently located at his ramp, and he quickly throws up a pair of sunken colonies for defense, as well as gets a few zerglings. PT opts for a cyb core after his gateway is done, as well as the mandatory assimilator that comes with it. BTP predictably cranks marines out of his two raxes, and the brave warriors/drugged-up serial-killers wander outside to go wreak some havoc. Their first target is TF. A zealot joins them, and they charge up the base, only to turn tail and run when they start taking losses. BTP quickly gets some more marines.

They start off towards TF's base, then turning towards BK's abode. Pausing outside his upper ramp, they stay for mere seconds before charging up it, and the sound of spikes propelled at 400 meters per second at an angle of 20 degrees above the horizontal starts up. Assume g to be -9.8 meters per second per second and ignore all frictional forces. BK has a bunker though, and the SCV and three or four of the marines meet a bloody death. The marines charge down under the cliff and fire at the barracks until it lifts off, at which point they retreat rather than losing more troops.

A quick glance back at bases reveals that PT has gotten a robotics facility, a support bay, and a stargate. Said stargate is building a sair. BK has a tank at this point, and is building another one. At the same time, he's gotten a starport and is building a dropship. All this smells oddly of a drop. BTP is almost done with the construction of his factory, and has ten marines ready to sacrifice themselves blindly. TF has begun an expansion, and is producing drones to strengthen his economy. He seems to be the most behind in troops with about seven zerglings, but those two sunkens are there to help him hold the fort. Back to the action. TF morphs a lair shortly after this as well as preparing to get another sunken colony. BTP gets ready to expand, and PT finishes his sair. The crazed pilot flies north and engages the overlords at TF's base, prompting TF to get a den. Another sair flies up and the two continue their hunt. The robotics facility serves its own purpose, as a shuttle flies over the battlefield and unloads a reaver onto the creep. Zerglings come to engage, but the blue explosions rip them to shreds. Oh, and the reaver got a pickup from the shuttle. All is not good for BTP and PT. While this was going down in TF's base, BK had unloaded a pair of tanks behind PT's mineral line. After several probes had been butchered, a few zealots come to deal with the enemy threat, killing one tank, then blissfully ignoring the other until it finally turns its fire on them. They then proceed to shred it. GG no re tanx. PT must have been macroing, because one of his sairs falls to a few hydralisks as it blindly attacks an overlord, and the other manages to pull away shortly thereafter. The reaver/shuttle is surrounded by blood, but the zerg manage to damage the plating on the reaver before it's pulled up, if only slightly. The reaver unloads again, and gets pummeled this time, returning into the shuttle quite damaged. Along the lines of 20/100 hp. TF's troubles are far from over. A dropship holding medarine unloads onto his expansion and begins killing drones. Things are looking bad for poor TF. BK sends two dropships filled with tanks to help in the defense of Camp TF, and they quickly chase away the medarine. Although the combat is over, TF is in no way in pristine shape. He has 9 surviving units, has lost an expansion, and in no position to attack. As if that wasnt enough, PT decides now is as good a time as any to unload another reaver and a few zealots into his ass. They romp around with the drones until killed.

Five dropships fly south from BTP's base and proceed into BK's homestead, unloading their deadly cargo of medarine/tank. Though a few soldiers die, the defenses are quickly breached, and the buildings begin to burn. BK's only defense is to counter with a drop on PT, as TF is in no shape to help, and things arent helped any when PT decides he wants in on the action and unloads zealots into the terran base. A few tanks attempt to hold off BTP, but they're blinded by a medic and are put out of range shortly anyway. SCV's charge in and rape the medarine, as well as PT's zealots and the tanks. BK however has lost half his base and almost all of his tech buildings. His barracks has survived, so he sets to work rebuilding his factories.

BTP sends his dropship team over to TF's base immediatley thereafter, met by a party of hydralisks. As the troops unload, however, the hydralisks are dispatched, and the zerg start to take losses. PT sends in a reaver and corsair, but at this point, TF has already conceded the game. BK leaves shortly thereafter, giving PT and BTP the win. GG to all players. What's that? You want more? Don't worry, DD will deliver, both pizza and reports. The first game had been a bit on the short side, without anything especially epic, so the decision was reached to play again. The game was made, and everyone joined one by one.

Teams didn't change between games, so if you really have trouble remembering them, move your mouse over to the scroll bar and check the teams from the first game. And then have your head checked. This round is played on Blade Storm, a beautiful twilight resort where lots of people are going to die. Isn't it grand?

BK has picked terran yet again, and his ally TF has gotten terran as well. BK lands his lemon-yellow CC in the northwestern base on the map, and TF has landed his teal one in the southwest corner. PT grabbed protoss this round and resides in the northwestern corner, while BTP randoms to zerg of the purple variety and finds himself in the southeastern corner. Everyone starts mining, yadda yadda yadda. All the good stuff that starcraft players do at the beginning of the game. Both BK and TF start off with the classic supply depot, although TF seems to be walling in while BK is not. PT opts for a pylon/gate/gas build, suggesting at least some teching, and BTP gets a hatchery first, placing his spawning pool shortly afterwards, then getting gas. BK has dual raxed, and begins producing marines (and this is the guy who told me he preferred metal). TF has a factory building, which seems obvious after he placed that wall. PT has a cybcore and grabs a second gateway, then begins goon production as soon as they're done. Although he has only two zealots, he comes in second in terms of army, as BK has amassed about 12 marines in the course of not teching. BTP has nothing in terms of an army, but he is morphing a lair and expanding, and based on the lack of a den, mutalisks seem to be his tech choice. BK has his academy up, and TF his machine shop, giving them medarine and tanks repsectivley. BTP has, as predicted, produced a spire, and his partner PT has gotten a citadel and archives. The relative calm reflects the storm to come...

Clichepwned. Anyway, TF has managed to sneak three vultures into BTP's unsuspecting base, using their uberspeed to race past the annoying sunken colonies and into his main. They begin to butcher drones, while BTP attemps to fend off the bikes with zerglings. The hapless dogs are owned, and things seem bleak for btp except for the fact that there are mutalisks now. The vultures lay a few mines, but they are eventually killed. PT has put his archives to good use, putting out two DTs who made their way into BK's base. The two begin their butchery of the medarine holding the ramp, who quickly retreat to the safety of BK's turrets, which happen to be everwhere except his ramp. A quick scan results in the death of the Dark Templar, and the ramp resumes it's peaceful peacefulness.

BK is angry, and he unloads a group of medarine into PT's base, who land just as TF makes a minefield of of his expansion. While the drop is dispatched with assistance form BTP, some losses were suffered. Although he has just dropped, BK sends his force up the ramp, where they encounter the angry protoss warriors. They immediatley assasinate a templar, only to be spectacularily stormed by another one. BTP'a reinforcing mutalisks arrive in time to kill a few survivors, and the two move to counterattack.

As the zealots and dragoons engage the medarines, the mutalisks swoop down to rain death, or glaive wurms, onto the hapless humans. But this fight isnt as one sided as it seems, as TF is quickly moving north to assist his ally, and BK is unloading irradiations onto the mutalisks, forcing BTP to surgically remove the offending green clouds of death. Paired with dmatrix, the marines are able to down a few mutalisks, but they are butchered. As TF arrives, BTP attacks his army of goliaths and tanks as PT begins to set fire to BK's hapless base. The goliaths are killed one by one, but then the tanks that TF sent begin to take down the dragoons. However, BTP's mutalisks are enough, and both terran forces are decimated. So maybe you were right about the one sided thing, but it was cool to watch. The mutalisks fall back, however, leaving only two goons to continue the fight for BK's base.

At this point, lots of fun things are happening. TF has landed an offensive barracks in BTP's lowered mineral only base, and both he and PT have moved to take their naturals and mineral onlys. PT has moved out yet again, this time to TF's fledgling (or rather, still building) natural base, where they are met by gliaths, who chase them back to the choke. TF's expansion is halted, however the two armies are not able to scale his ramp and kill him. This is partially because TF is winning the upgrade race, with +1 attack, and partially because T is imbalanced. Tanks should heal 70 damage instead of doing it to fix this problem.

Not willing to sit idly, the combined might of BTP and PT is redirected at BK once more, and this time is much stronger. Templar accompany the protoss, and zerglings accompany the terrans. The templar quickly storm the living shit out of the medarine, foring the survivors to retreat, but irradiate and goon stupidty makes ramp climbing difficult. BTP flies in at this point, and kills one of the science vessels, and while the mutalisks are heavily irradiated, and turrets and marines are both firing furiously, BK cannot hold off the combined might of the two armies. TF arrives now, with his goliath/tank army, and begins the defense of his ally.a few dragoons and templar attempt to stave off the terrans, as well is a portion of BTP's mutalisks, but the mutalisks are killed. The protoss on the other hand show the power of storm, and are able to weaken the army enough to prevent them from making a difference. Reinforcements dispatch the survivors, and BK falls.

During this combat, both TF and BTP have expanded as well, and TF has built another barracks inside BTP's base. He doesn't seem very inclined to use it though, as he's only built three marines. PT has been making tech decisions too, opting for multiple stargates. I wonder what he's doing...

BTP ends TF's expansion attempt, and takes the expansion for himself, putting him at four basees. TF retaliates by taking BTP's mineral only, and making a couple more infantry units there.

PT and BTP group themselves in the middle, both ready for an attack on TF, however, they both decide to wait for a short while to reinforce their armies. BTP gets hive now, and continues his heavy unit production. The combined might of the protoss and zerg charge down the battlefield, ready to annihilate the terran forces. Goliaths fire rockets left and right, and tanks assile the oncoming ground forces. Zergling blood covers the ground, and mutalisk entrails fall from the sky, but the protoss and terran push onward. On the other side of the map, TF has taken his hidden infantry outpostand sent the constructed infantry up into BTP's main, hoping to destroy him at least partially as this battle ensues. BTP's main falls, as does the majority of his army, but PT pushes onward. However, once again tanks prove to play a decisive role in the battle, and his ground force, while having cut through his army and his natural expansion, is driven away by the terran vehicle army.

PT takes this opportunity to play his trump card on the beaten, but still living, TF. His fleet of carriers flies down, and he begins to carefully raze the terran base. BTP sends his newly built mutalisks to assist, and TF has no choice but to hope he can produce enough goliaths on his now strained gas income. The aliens quickly annihilate the terran resistance, and TF concedes with a GG.

Another GG. Sadly, I was unable to bring you a best of five or some other orgasmically long series, however don't think it didn't cross my mind! In truth, I had to go eat or something after these two games, and thusly I couldn't make more stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this total immersion experience, and I'm glad to inform you that you're karma readings are looking good. Go leave me comments, or make an online store with DD paraphernalia. This is DD signing off, luv to all.

"I was sort of trying to go for the cheesy look, which is really my way of saying that I had no idea Paint had a text-in-picture function. " -badme

Especially to you, badme ^^

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