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"Psyonic_Reaver: It's getting harder for me to sleep as Blizzcon approaches. I wonder if this is what waiting for your wedding night feels like... The feeling of finally being able to get laid. That is how I feel right now. Mattzarella: For your sake I hope you don't blurt out 'For Aiur!' the first time you have sex." -Mattzarella/Psyonic_Reaver
Report Rating: 9.0, # of Ratings: 3, Max: 9, Min: 9 Lifetime Rating for ZerG~LinG: 8.3836
Welcome.. To number 25. You'll notice a radical change
of style, a more simplistic and, imo, sexy look. Oh
what should I do if I didn't have you guys to test things
on. I've recently discovered the wonders of the sexy
fonts in small sizes (wow, i sure sound like a nerd),
and that is indeed what you are feasting your eyes upon
at this moment. For those of you born without taste
in life (or very high resolutions), the font chooser
is back! Hopefully this way I'll avoid the "My
eyes are hurting mofo fu kaka" in my comments section.
Before we start I would like to point out that I don't
want anyone dissing my title. "Titles are for weak"
-Dialtone. God of web coding and fruity spellcasters just
told you the truth boy.
This is me. To be more exact, it's my new account,
conceived after realizing my stats with ZerG-LinG
was sucking. Curiously, my stats are still sucking.
Bleh. I was level 7 solo as I pressed "Play
Game" and started on this match. (embarrassingly,
my highest level is in AT'ing with dialtone
And yes, this is my opponent, with a unoriginal
name if there ever was one. I mean, I've got
some comments for using ZerG-LinG, but this
guy takes the price for unoriginality.
He was level 8 with a okayish record when we met.
The map in question is Lost Temple. Chances are that you already
know this map, but hell I'll supply you with this nifty
minimap JUST IN CASE. Yes.
Both humans start the game in pretty conventional human style;
Altar with one of the starting peons. From there on, weird
things start to happen, I (Lingor) follow my usual build,
adding a barrack with one my first peons, and building
a farm with the first peon trained. This allows for quick
creeping with your first hero and 3 footmen. Human[wc3]
started a farm near his peons, before leaving it unconstructed
and making a barrack. Later he resumed work on the farm
while simultaneously making a second. I'd wager that this
had something to do with the extra bit of mining you get
from placing your building around the gold mine, like
with gas back in SC. I'm no expert on this, so he might
as well have been high or whatnot.
I got my mountain king out a few seconds before Human got
his Archmage out, and I started creeping the Gnolls just north
of my base. While I was blissfully slaughtering creeps, Human
was utilizing the very popular Blizzard rush. This is a pretty
valid strat and can be used to great effect on smaller maps
with just 2 starting points, and in 2v2's. It's somewhat less
useful when your opponent is in the last place you scout, like
now. Still though, Human did a lot of damage to my 5 mining
peons before I could TP back from chopping up trolls. I always
expect these rushes and I made sure to pick the Storm Hammer
skill. I couldn't quite stop him this time tho, and Human teleported
his mage back to safety. Damage report: None. Woo!
As the Archmage returned home, more of Human's sinister
plans were revealed; he was teaching to tier 2 already.
Meanwhile,the mighty Thordin Rockbeard (!) was creeping
along with the rest of my forces, and had already gotten
to level 2, picking up a Ring Of Protection and some
Boots of Speed along the way.
Seconds later, my good mood received a severe bruise
as the Archmage had returned to my main, now maiming
peons left and right. With no TP available, I was forced
to backtrack to my main on foot, using my amazing micro
to steer my goldmining peons first out, then BACK into
the blizzard, thus sending them to their doom. When
my forces finally got back, the Archmage was long gone.
With the Archmage out of the way (again) I resumed my slowed
down teching to casters. Unsurprisingly, Human was doing
the exact same thing, only with somewhat more success.
After his blizzraid, he started a Arcane Sanctum, while
I had to cancel my Keep to get enough peons. My only
advantage so far was my extensive creeping, while the
archmage was still level 1. To further use this advantage,
I headed for my expansion and woke up some trolls, before
giving them a sound bashing. I also found a super leet
Scroll Of The Beast, and a second Ring of Protection.
After clearing the expansion, I headed north with
my army, running straight into Human's advancing forces,
backed by his new MK hero. The two forces of footmen
smashed together, with Human's forces being slightly
more numerous. I used my Scroll of the Beast and danced
my MK around, clapping as many footmen as possible and
leveling to level 3. A storm hammer and effective targeting
brought Human's Archmage down, but at the cost of many
of my footmen, and a few seconds later I ran from the
scene with my MK and three footmen, fleeing from twice
as many and a level two MK. Close battle ensued once
more at my base, and the first of Human's sorcerers
began popping up. In the end I managed to drive off
the enemy with a continuous stream of footies and effective
Meanwhile, I managed to sneak my own Archmage behind
the enemy lines and on a direct course to Human's base...
While Human's yellow forces we're off chasing gnolls, I sneaked
my Archmage up behind his mining peons, hoping for it
to go unnoticed while I rained down giant chunks of
ice on the peasants. It was not to be so. Since red
is a very easy color to spot on the minimap, Human noticed
me quickly and called his entire peasant army to his
keep. My archmage was close to being surrounded with
the help of a storm hammer, but I managed to run off
with under 100 hp. This is is why I always pick the
Mountain King; I'm a retard with a mage.
After my failed blizzard raid, Human thought it would
be a good idea to show some offensive maneuvers, other
than homosexual blizz rushes. His army of footmen and
sorcs moved down the center in a clever single line
formation, clashing with my own troops as he was about
to exit the middle. My massive footmen force encircled
both yellow heroes right away, and with the help of
a storm hammer, the archmage fell before unleashing
a single blizzard. I used my own mage to pummel the
enemy sorcs that shot from a close formation, bringing
them into the red, and forcing them to retreat while
I finished off Humans MK. I was surprised at the lack
of troops, but found out why when I saw the replay;
half of Human's forces went around the center, completely
missing all the action. In short, I made him my bitch.
Over the next 5 minutes, I began utilizing my troop
advantage to launch two major attacks on Humans main,
both of them very identical; My army of footies and
sorcs would clash with a somewhat inferior army of the
same kind of units, but Human was using his lvl 2 Blizz
and lvl 2 Brilliance aura to their fullest, having blizzard
constantly raining down on my troops, and using MASSIVE
amounts of militia to keep my units occupied and away
from the mage. Both of my attacks ended somewhat disappointing,
with me running for my life like a cow before a halal
Following my two attacks of crap, I thought I might
try a different tactic altogether, and sent a peon
to my natural (Yes, a single peon, this multi-peon
building crap is for noobs). While doing this, I sent
my army out on a exp-scout run, as I figured Human
was in the same money problems as myself (only 2000
gold left in gold mines). On my way to the enemy expansion,
my little Peon The Builder was brutally slaughtered
by the yellow army, and since I didn't have a TP,
I abandoned my mission and headed all the way back
my main to protect it. There, I waited a bit for the
imminent attack... Which wasn't very imminent as Human
retreated his forces to grab his own expansion. After
smacking myself in the head repeatedly, I set out
to put an end to his expansion attempt.
Upon arriving at Humans expansion, I clashed with
his army, throwing my MK straight into a ring of footmen
and using my level 3 clap effectively, decimating
the opposing forces from the word go. After a few
tense seconds it became obvious that my troops heavily
outnumbered his, and with my Hero-Killer Mountain
King, both heroes soon fell along with their army
and the expansion.
Seconds later, I was confidently smashing his
main to bits. GG.
Because the report is already over 1.5mb's I
won't show that in details, instead, here's some
of the post-game chat. Exciting stuff indeed.
Good Game Human[Wc3]!
That's it for game 1. Personally I liked it alot, and
Hmn vs. Hmn is usually a pretty close matchup,
especially when no one goes for the lame approach
with towers and fast tech to Master casters :)
Also, the new b.net rule seems to be that scouting=hacking.
We got to level 9 with my old
account, and are almost level 10 at the moment.
Not the best team to ever grace b.net, but we
try :( We played dual Hmn earlier, but recently
switched to OrcDork being Hmn, and me owning
with the Elves. This was also our preferred
line-up for today's match.
Pretty sure I got all the caps right
:) PlayGGorC hangs in ~nohunters from time to time,
but before this match, I didn't know anything else
about him. And his partner "pot" is another
mystery, and being the dedicated reporter I am, I
didn't bother to ask them about anything. Bleh. They
we're level 7 AT team.
Alright, everything lined up for an exciting 2v2 Arranged
Team match! The eye scoured b.net for suitable
opponents, and we clashed together on *drumroll*
Lost Temple. Enjoy minimap :(
Alright, the game is underway and everyone
start out in pretty conventional style, going
altar first. Except for PlayGGorC who constructs
a barrack before the building the Orc Altar
of eternal cheese. Pot, the orange undead on
Team 2, smacks down dual crypts as soon as possible,
while both myself and OrcDork opt for a single
barrack/AoW and early tech to tier two. 3 minutes
into the game, the first bit of action starts
as my Keeper of The Grove and OrcDork's Archmage
head off to the southern undead base, in hopes
of squashing the weakest link, the acolytes.
Entangle and blizz is (over)used while the ghouls
and the newly produced Death Knight chase us
around the base. In the end it proved profitable
for us, as Pot lost 4 of his 5 acolytes, crippling
Even though his economy was getting bombed, Pot still
had a sizeable ghoul force, and with PlayGGorC,
he plotted revenge. Seconds later, while OrcDork
was busy creeping and I was busy forgetting
to macro, Team 2 struck the human base in the
north. OrcDork had just finished his Keep, and
had no hopes of defending his base against the
ravaging ghouls and PlayGGorC's Headhunters.
Yes, headhunters. And a farseer too :D
I TP' ed in for the rescue, but my 3 hunts and
lvl 1 KOTG weren't able to turn the tide of
battle, and OrcDork's peasants were rallied
and the mighty militia came to our rescue. Team
2 only fled to the ramp, where the militia had
to return, and Team 2 quickly surrounded one
of my hunts. Things were looking rather grim
and fierce fighting continued for several minutes,
with sporadic Blizzards and Militia able to
keep Team 2 away from victory, but only just,
and the pressure from Team 2 continued until
a mass of huntresses and OrcDork's first spellcasters
finally chased away the invaders. The attack
had lasted a full 6 minutes, which is damn long
time when you're actually playing. Catching
the replay for this is somewhat of a must :)
Luckily for Team 1, Team 2 weren't the best
at macro and hadn't gained any superior tech
or anything while the attack lasted, but concentrated
instead on keeping up a steady flow of units.
They both begin their tech towards tier 2 now
though, while myself and the last of OrcDork's
battered units go on a creeping frenzy, almost
clearing the entire mid. While we were about
to attack the center itself, we run into PlayGGorC
and his band of merry headhunters. PlayGGorC
knows that his mate "pot" is coming
to attack us from behind, so he engages us,
and proceeds to get severely beaten by effective
blizzards and the stronger huntress'. He holds
on until Pot arrives with his massive ghoul
army, and a tight battle ensues. My KOTG dies
shortly after, but not before summoning six
treants who, in unison with the remaining huntress',
force Pot and his undead to use a town portal
while PlayGGorC humps back to the safety of
his base with a severely damaged farseer.
While Pot and PlayGGorC both take a few seconds
to regain their breath, OrcDork and I continue
to creep like madmen. We were about to take
down the ogre pack in the southeast, when a
huntress of mine caught Pot merrily slaughtering
the said ogres. A perfect place for us to slam
in from the other side and pincer Pot between
the ogres and us. While Dial is on the way,
I strike with my large huntress/archer force,
catching Pot completely by surprise and forcing
him to TP back to his base. He did manage to
kill the last ogre, but forgot its treasure;
the brilliant Book of the Dead! Imbalance was
riding with OUR bus now!
We reveled in our beautiful treasure for a
second or two, before heading west for more
creeping. But as we passed the ramp leading
to the undead base, ghoul after ghoul came pouring
down on us, while the Orc army of PlayGGorC
came in from the west. We were caught in a pincer
move, but with greater forces, and the battle
that would decide the game began. The strong
mix of spellcasters and huntress huddled up
in a close formation, with OrcDork keeping his
casters out of harms way while the strong huntress'
took all the blows. Blizzard was used effectively
against the headhunters who constantly had to
keep moving, but still, the battle was pretty
close. Suddenly my Keeper Of the Grove got level
6, and Tranquility was used. The health-giving
rain came pouring down on our battered troops,
leaving Team 2 with less of a chance, and a
while later, all of Team 2's troops lay dead,
with Tranquility having done its work, slowly
Thanks to PlayGGorC and Pot for this nice
game :) Lessons learned include such famous
cliches as; "never give up" and...
uhhm well that's about it.
And with that, the report is officially over. Hope
you enjoyed it, and remember to leave a comment either
in the comment section (duh) or by mailing
me. And raters, if you rate this, please be so
kind as to leave just a small comment, like "asdf
the police" or maybe "yu sux" or the
classic "eee" or anything really. Much wub.