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"This time I will attempt to fuck up another games' reputation."
- Some God

Trolls Are Kinda Nice
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Date: 10/26/02 01:10
Game Type: Warcraft 3
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Report Rating: 8.5, # of Ratings: 2, Max: 9, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Jaood: 9.0000
A Jaood Joint
hi, dis es mey firstt report!! plz dunt give me bad rating, i am new and dont no wut report guid ez thnx! enj0y! noooooo!!!! shetz!!! som1 erase dis!! my thumb slipped, this not the final version, plz get rid of it! i submit obvious better one 10 secs latter admin dlete!!

Yeah, you could expect some senseless dribble like that as an intro if this was my first report and I was some slacked jawed retard (only one of those is true), but since I've been coming to this site for 2+ years you tend to pick up a few trade secrets ;D. Anyway, with the new patch out, lots of changes have happened, so what better way to test out the balance changes then to play a game? :/

The Map - Coldrapier

The very first game I played was a ladder mono a mono a la Frostsabre, my personal favorite map. Since I'm such a nice person please enjoy this image of the map and the generous description which follows!

It's said this island's Dragons will offer their assistance to any bold enough to prove their worthiness. Its also rumored their breath is colder than the grave.

Glorious, I know. Like all standard maps Frostsabre comes equipped with mains (13000 gold), expansions, and creeps. Mains are denoted by the colorful "X"s, with 5 possible expansions located in the middle of the map. Each main has a small pack of gnolls, with one being treasure worthy, and a gang of trolls huddled around a camp fire immediately to the mains left or right. The 4 gold mines (15000 gold) expos are guarded by 2 rock golems and 2 mud golems apiece, while at the middle mine (25000 gold) hovers 3 blue drakes and 4 blue dragon whelps. Also in the middle, at each of the forresty section are packs of 3 trolls and 3 ogres, equaling a total of 12 trolls and ogres. In the top-left and bottom-right corners are goblin merchants, each guarded by 9 different assorted ice trolls, but before you could get there midway through the path are packs of 6 gnolls. In the opposite corners are mercenary camps, also guarded by trolls, but instead of gnolls along the path are an ogre lord, 2 magi ogre and 2 troll priest. So getting to either shop and killing all the creeps would definetely be a hero level booster, if not just for the sake of getting the goodies at the shops.

As for the map layout each base is semi-inclosed by a wall of trees surrounding their mines. Each base has 2 possible exists/entrances, both of which are equal in defending capibility. Most players forget they have a second entrance and tend to guard whichever side is nearest to their enemy's base, as that would be the most likely attack route. Best strategy is to tuck everything in, tower up, and hope your opponent disconnects before he gets siege weaponry ;0.

Mission: Test Out The Patch

At the time of the patches arrival I was a lvl 10, so when I meet my opponent Hunter[TSO], a lvl 13 player, I got excited. If I could defeat this guy I'd have earned enough points to make it to lvl 11, something I hadn't done just yet. (But of course you know I eventually do get 11 cause I'm currently lvl 12 according to CBs latest BR. And if you didn't read it you should probably go kill yourself, because reading a Jaood report before a ~CattleBruiser~ Production is just flat out retarded and you're polluting the gene pool with your incompetence.)

Ok, no problem. I random the Orcish Horde at the southern spot, while he chooses the Undead Scourge up north. Chosen Undead because he was good with them, or was it because the new patch finally gave the Undead the steroid boost it needed for its pansy ass race to compete? I would find out soon enough.

Aie, Daniel-sanHunter sends his acolytes to mine and his ghoul to wood, and summons an altar, crypt and ziggurat. And start off with my altar and a burrow near my peon line, then realize "Hey, I can build a rax now." and decided to lay one down early. The new patch allows me to build a barracks for 20 less wood, so that means faster early grunts for faster creeping = $$. Once my blademaster and my first grunt are finished I set to work creeping the smaller cluster of gnolls to the left of my base with the help of mirror image.

I then take my hero and 3 grunts along the circular pathway, planning to creep some of the trolls and ogres in the middle when my blademaster encounters some ghoulish resistance. I run face into 4 ghouls and Hunter's lich hero, and I backtrack a bit so my grunts can catch up to the speedy blademaster. I create another image and then it's on, axe and blade meet the undead claws, while the lich takes pot shots from a backline position. Normally, 4 ghouls and a lich would be no problem for 3 grunts and a blademaster, but this isn't normal circumstances, this is 1.03. As soon as the first swings are taken against the ghouls the lich starts auto-casting frost armor, a new feature. This is quite annoying, because my grunts have all decided to target different ghouls, so now not only does it add 3+ armor to them but whenever I hit 1 with a unit my guy slows down in attack speed. Ok, fine, I'll just kill the problem at the source and I try to have all my units attack the lich. The slow effect gives Hunter enough time to weave his lich in and out of harms way, while the ghouls still continue to attack. Frost armor has a chilling affect on my units.....hyuck.
Another of my queued up grunts joins the fray, but so do 3 ghouls. By now I'm just to mystified by the spiralling colors of the frost armor and the effectiveness it is having that I wasn't paying to my hero's life, until I hear him foam at the mouth with a shout and his spirit floats off. I tell my remaining units to retreat, all of 2 damaged grunts and a mirror image while all Hunter has lost is 1 ghoul. Not how I wanted to start off the new patch.

I run back to base and he gives chase, so I start construction of a watch tower, the orc staple unit. I send my grunts close by my burrows to help defend, but he decides to wait outside of their range, possibly waiting for more ghouls. He notices my tower isn't quite up yet, and that my barracks is just out of range of the burrows so his takes his ghouls and starts hitting it. My rax gets close to about 40% health as my blademaster pops out of the altar, fully revived, and I take him and my now 4 grunts and order them to assualt the ghouls. They get in a few free shouts as none of the ghouls fight back. Not wanting to have a repeat outcome as last battle I begin to focus fire my melee units to kill off each ghoul individual. This, plus the fact the ghouls are already damaged and can't heal, works pretty well. I'm able to kill off all 6 ghouls 1 at a time with only losing 1 grunt in the process. Hunter orders his lich back home and I set about regrouping my units and making sure my whole base is in check.

With the undead threat to my base quelled for the time being I revert back to my creeping plan and start laying siege to the ogres and trolls in the middle bottom right forrest After them I head a bit up north to kill the trolls and ogres there, when I see the lich in sight and maybe 5 ghouls in tow. Hunter seems intent on baiting me with his lich to fight, and I'm certainly not one to turn down such a tempting offer, and charge his units. This time I deploy the same tactic of focus fire(sounds so wrong with melee units) on the ghouls and begin to null his army down. He does the same with my units, but with good ol' mirror image he foolishly spends vital time killing an illusion while I deal more points. In the end I am left with my BM and a grunt, while his lich is left to fend for himself. The lich runs off, and my grunt and BM try to give chase but frost armor is a real pain when it comes to affecting my movement speed, so it escapes once again.

So That's The Kind Of Game It's Gonna Be?

Quick update on the technological trees, because I know some of you will be complaining about it if I didn't add it. I've got a stronghold which is just starting to be upgraded to fortress, and 1/0 weapon/armor upgrades. I don't usually get the spiked things, so no worries, eh? I've also invested in the spirit lodge, cause hey, why not? Hunter, though, has been busy and already has upgraded to Black Citadel and 2 temple of the damned, 1 doing the researching, the other starting necromancers. His ghoul ups are 1/1.

Hunter then attempts to start up a dialogue, and I, being the perky, sunny, chatty type, quickly slit that ideas throat, with a non-offensive, yet non-caring response. Then the most wonderful thing happens, and I'm filled with glee!

b4dtz m42u <3 ^_^

My heart is so joyous that bats Not once has logged on I didn't even notice the lich/dreadlord/ghoul/necros walking past meNot twice as I headed over to creep some dudes. That, Not even thriceand the fact badtz started to annoy me with constant messaging. I started to type something to 4x hi from badtz ;(him, but it seems Hunter decided to follow and flanked me between some ogres I had just disturbed. I TP out, and he claims the exp and treasures =[. My farseer pops out of altar, and I get chain lighting, ready to whoop up on some ghoul ass.

He's pretty good at this 'run your hero away so they don't die' thing.  It's just a fade, better to let them die, I say.I send my BM, seer, and a few grunts up to where I was previously creeping in hopes I would catch him in the middle of creeping. My hopes come true, as Hunter is busy killing some trolls, and I start selective attacking the the necros. But, necros have the tendency to summon skeletons of corpses, be they friend or foe, and after killing some creeps the skeletons divert their attention to me. Let me also state for the record War3 unit pathing sucks total ass. I lose some grunts who can't decide who to kill, and when I try to run my BM bumbs into a grunt and decides it's best to sit and wait his turn for the grunt to leave instead of finding another rekjghldskjfg way, wtf. So, yeah, I fucked up my attack, lost my BM again, a few grunts, and only killed 2 necros.

Hunter takes advantage of the situation and attacks my base from the left side. My peonsjump into their burrows, and my seer starts frying some ghouls with chain lighting and eliminate the ghouls and remaining skeletons. The lich and dreadlord attempt to kill off my seer as well, but burrows are like the next best thing since watch towers and Hunter retreats his heroes, before I'm able to kill them. I give chase for a little while, hoping to kill off the 70 hp dreadlord, but my mana is deplenished, and grunts just can't seem to learn how to throw their axes, so I let them escape....

Ok, fine, grunts have 20 hp bonus, but they still weren't filling in that hole I had inside me, the sense of something missing. Shamans start churning from my lodge, but they've been nerfed down, so what to make now? When in doubt, trolls! It was kinky, but deep down something told me "Go trolls". So I did. :D My BM comes back online, and I start creeping with my new little army of trolls/shams/heroes.

Known to very few, the Orc Shaman has a fetish for making snow angels on cool winter days.

So I figure, I've got this good anti-air force, why not use it on some dragons? I head back to the very middle and attack-move all my units to some random point, and my group walks straight under the drakes/whelps and sits. Takes me about 5 seconds to register in my mind that no one is doing anything except my seer. For some reason my shamans and trolls have all decided to just let the dragons kills them, without fighting back. This time I tell them to al attack a whelp, and they do. It's currently 5:03amThey kill it, then revert back to their buddhist ways of non-violence. Possible bug, perchance, so I suck it up and just select-attack each individual dragons tell they're all dead. Now, in fighting these dragons I've lost 50% of my army about, so the last thing I want to do is fight Hunter's army head on. So it's only natural that Hunter has followed a rally pointed headhunter right to me in the middle, where my weakend army is, wouldn't be exciting if he didn't, no? What's his army consist of? Just the lich, and dreadlord, and necros, and master level banshees.

His attack comes while I'm still fighting the drags, even better. My BM, for lack of anything to hack and slash, kills a banshee then creates some illusions, and starts to work on some necros. Then, my luck starts to change. Most of my trolls are near death already, and he purposely chooses to possess those ones.(>'-')> He waste his banshees, and then I quickly cut down my ghost-riddled compadres with a lvl 2 CL, while knocking out the last blue drake. And what luck, a Book of the Dead is dropped into my farseers lap! No only does this give me a fair amount of skeletal warriors, but once they die they can't be re-reanimated into skeletons by the necros (who are already running out of corpses). I quickly use the item and turn the tide of the battle further into my own hands.

Yeah, as you can see my BM is near death once more. Can you guess what happens as he tries to flee? He dies, what a guesser you are. By that I mean you're a bad guesser. Haha, he lives because he gobbles(?) down a health stone he had picked up earlier, then does another mirror image, creating 3 duplicates of himself. Not only that, but the remaining undead units all die in 1 freaking blast of lvl 2 chain lightning, including the dreadlord and lich. My units converge over the remains of the last necros and congratulate themselves for finally winning a major battle.
Harry Potter Is 1337

Giving all you guys a heads up, angel is a dirty. ;D

B-but, Blizzard Made Them Stronger!

Celebration isn't long and I send my troops to the top-right golem expansion mine to get some more use out of my summoned troops before they vanish. After the expansion is cleared I send all my skeletons on a suicide run to Hunter's base, as I estimate they'd all die within a few seconds of arrival. I pick up some useful information, 8 ghouls chopping wood, 2 gargs, double crypt, and the dreadlord has returned, right before my skelies die.

Now my guess is he will be producing gargs in large numbers so I continue to make troll headhunter and shamans. I collect 6 of them then head to the southern-right golem expansion, kill the golems, and start making watch towers for defense of my new settlement. While this is occuring, Hunter takes his ghouls/garg/DL forces and kills the northern-left golems while sending an acolyte to haunt the other golem spot I killed previously. His lich gets revived, then he kills off the last remaining golems, soutern-left expo. Since I hate having my heroes just sit idlely by I send my forces westward, planning to kill those golems, little knowing Hunter was still there.

So, another battle insues, pitting a lvl 5 BM, lvl 4 seer, 5 shamans, and 6 troll headhunters up against lvl 4 lich and DL, 8 ghouls, and 6 gargs. His army may be slightly bigger, but no matter - I've got fucking trolls. Of course, my units start to arrive one at a time while Hunter's army is all there ready to fight.

That battle happened relatively quickly, as soon as he sees my farseers he focus fires on it with ghouls, gargs, and frost nova. Before my seer dies it is able to summon 2 lvl 2 wolves and cast chain lightning, taking a few ghouls down with him. My blademaster is put to sleep and my trolls get lightning shield cast on them, but nothing can beat lusted trolls, nothing, and as soon as I'm about to kill his dreadlord again he teleports his units away. I'm left with a handful of HHs and 1 shaman, while he escaped with both heroes and about 4 of his ghouls intact.
In theory, a farseer is just an evolved pikachu.
I start making more units, and add some heavy duty taurens to my team as my first one is made to help counter ghouls. Just about a minute passes before I hear "Your buildings are under attack." and frantically scout my main. But alas, it is not to be. He has discovered my expansion and has started razing my watch towers with his gargs and leftover ghouls. I send whatever units that are in my base up to help as well as those accompaning my BM. My guys start duking it out with the gargs, and the BM hacks away at the dreadlord along with some help from my tauren. My BM gets targeted like my seer did and goes down far to quickly for my taste(never). He then flees from the battle, and heads up to rest by his expansion.

Attacking my expansion.

All my units get rallied to my expo now, from fear of another attack. Due to my love of trolls I've inadvertently created a witch doctor, so I make some use of him and plant a sentry ward a bit above my expo and then up to Hunters expansion where I throw one down onto the blight. The brave soul is killed in the process, but I've now got good survillence at the expo.

That's Enough Of That

The farseer joins the rest of my men at my expo, and my town hall finishes building. I queue up some peons when my main gets under attack. Hunter has snuck his forces around the map to the left side of my base and targets my altar, with my BM still building. I teleport my units back home, but my building placement proves to be my bane. My units get stuck within my placement and can't all start firing at the gargs. Hunter successfully destroys my altar with me BM inside, then TPs out, before I'm able to kill anything. Annoying. I free my units and rebuild a new altar and return to my expo. All these kill my hero, run, kill my hero, run tactics of his are really hurting my game so I've got to do something. Hohoho, bm banshees.The Undead army returns to their expo when I notice the dreadlord is close to dying. I take my army led by the farseer and head north for my own assassination attempt. Before Hunter realizes it to react I CL/spear his DL to death. But before I realize it I'm suddenly fighting off 2 taurens with my seer. Hmmm, shoulda thought about that before bringing them close to the 4 banshees he had sitting by his dreadlord. I shoulda also considered the effect frost nova would have on my guys ;0.

fgaertertfsdgfasdassdfI jet back to my watch towers with some pissed off gargs and my old taurens on my tail. The taurens start chasing my seer around my watch towers, while my trolls and shamans fight off the gargs. Hunter's lich has a field day with my units as well, casting lvl 3 frost nova over and over. The taurens die off pretty fast, as do my trolls and shamans. My seer cast CL twice on all the gargs, weaking them just enough. The gargs start attacking him and he runs, but a well placed frost nova puts a stupor in his life. God, wtf. I wanted to try to assassinate his hero, and run without any losses. I end up killing his hero, getting possessed, losing my army, and losing my hero in the process. Not good times D:. The gargs, in the sudden testosterone rush, then start attacking my towers. My double CL attacks on them, though, have wittled their life to practically nothing. Hunter foolishly loses all but 1 garg and his lich trying to kill my towers. I think he forgot that gargs air-to-ground dmg type was changed from siege to piercing, making them a bit less effective vs towers.;)

Oh, and now Hunter has added a Death Knight to his arsenal, who is waiting up at his expo. Now that both my heroes are dead again I notice my new altar is done and start up my seer and then my BM. Hunter rallies his gargs to his expo and also starts building some fiends to go along. Fiends damage has increased, very nice considering they attack kinda slow.

I continue my trolls and my shamans, and as my blademaster finally finsihes I start to head out westard, hoping to get some more experience to push my seer to lvl 6 for earthquake. I catch a glimpse of a green blob on my map and chase it toward the expansion at the top-right of the middle. I notice some spread blight, and Hunter's entire army there so I retreat a back to the middle gold mine to think of a plan on how to get some experience. He seems eager to fight me, though, as he sends his army at me. My shamans lust up everybody and I cast a CL, while he tells his lich to use death and decay(?) on my units. I back away a few inches out of it's range, causing him to lose the effect of the spell, so he runs his units back to his expo, realizing I'm not fighting within the radius of his ultimate. I'm about to go after him when a pack of ghouls ambushes me from behind, taking shots at my backline of shamans. I get my trolls into the action, taking down a few more ghouls, as he runs them away somewhere up north to his main.

When someone is casting DnD on you it's courteous to stand there for the full effect, so that your opponent gets that warm gooing filling down in his loins.

I decided to risk the danger and send my entire force at his. My farseer takes the lead, casting wolves and CL on the units, followed by my trolls and BM. Hunter counters with frost novas and those 3 little banana things gargs shoot with. Somewhere along the line I gain lvl 6 for my seer and start to earthquake his towers. His DL and DK, who bravely headed straight at my army, were killed during the fighting, along with every last garg. The lich, master escape artist, heads back to his main, while I finish off the few acolytes Hunter has. He begins to gather his troops at his main, the last remaing batch of ghouls, and about 7 newly trained necromancers, along with the lich.

I start sending units around the map, searching for any other expansions I haven't been aware of, and, after finding none head over to his other expansion. With earthquake having probably the fastest ultimate cooldown(next to Mass Teleport) I don't have to wait long to cast it again, and send my farseer in for the kill. Hunter takes notices, and doesn't seem to care about his last outpost, and responds with a full assault on my expo. His ghouls step up first, a few going down to my towers. He sends in his necros and I'm suddenly swamped with skeletons. He then cast his ultimate once more over all my buildings there and I send my peons to work repairing everything. The second his expo falls I'm back on the defense and send in my army.

Final stand.

My BM heads straight for the lich and performs his Bladestorm ultimate. The lich flinches and starts to run, which stops the DnD, but with lvl 3 critical strike it isn't long before my BM catches and finsihes him off. My seer and trolls have also taken care of the rest of the undead menace and my expo is saved. With nothing left to give to the game he gives his 'gg' then promptly leaves.le gg

Yay, It's Pretty Much Over Now

So what have I learned? Trolls are even better then ever! Attack speed reduction doesn't really seem so bad, especially when lusted, and the thing where the trolls don't all die in 2.1 seconds to nova in a battle is pretty kick ass. Frost armor is a bitch if you don't know how to counter it, and gargs still suck vs ground :D.

Thanks Go Out To
-Vanilla Coke, for keeping me up.
-Trolls, for being so damn cool.
-Hunter, for the game.
-CB, for the "gogogo finish your BR" and "my BR is done, how about you?", always keeping me on task.
-Mark4, for the....;)

This has been a Jaood Joint

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