Well, where do
I start? This all-toss user was cofounder of br.com and is still
active. He wrote more reports than most of you will ever meet women,
and the majority of them pretty damn awesome.
As far as his gaming skills go, I suspect he might be a bit rusty,
but will surely deliver a bitchin' good performance.
with the account "Greasybox", he is very active and can
be found lurking around ~nohunters asking for 1on1's, usually paired
with his obsing buddy Dialtone. As you might know, Dial has made
quite a few reports, and most of them starring Status. He plays
random, and has a very good game, we'll see if he can trumph the
Interesting fact #1 about Status: "He has three testicles"
Igor! Hit the switch!
A quick recap if
you can't see the pic: The game was played on "Plains To Hill".
Lots of minimaps will follow because most of you probably don't know
ADQ3 warped in his chosen nexus at the southwestern position,
receiving the good old blue color. Status randomed, getting
a sleek, orange nexus at the southeastern position.
While ADQ3 opted for
the more usual build of 8 pylon, 11 gate followed by a pylon, gas
and cycore, Status made his first pylon on 8, his second
on 10 and a gateway straight afterwards. I really don't know if
either one of them is better but at first glance it would look to
me as Status may got an earlier gate and pylon, but also
a substantial lower probe count in the beginning. He knew his opponent
was protoss, so maybe this was his special tossrushing build. He
later added a cycore and gas, without a second gateway.
Both player found each other
relatively quick, and ADQ3 answered Status' build
by adding his second gateway and starting the production of zeelits.
ADQ3 was gathering a small strike force of two zealots and
three goons, heading straight for Status' base at southeast.
Meanwhile, Status made a cool hidden tech just north of
the rest of his buildings, placing a citadel of Adun and later a
Templar archives. Sooooo leet :)
Back to the action, ADQ3 smashed through the few guarding
zealots at the bridge in front of Status'base, chasing the
wussy zealots inside the base where they were joined by a goon,
a micro heavy skirmish ensued, with plenty of goon dance afoot(haha)
on ADQ3's behalf. Reinforcements arrived from ADQ3's
base, just in time to get hacked to pieces by Status' newly
purchased dark templars :)
Understandably, Status sent his gosu DT's out to wreak havoc
amongst our friend ADQ3's base. He had cleverly placed his
goons and zealots on the bridge blocking the way, so that his observer
might make it out in time. But the dastardly hidden warriors were
just too fast, and made it through the goon block, swiping two goons
in the process. Reaching the probe line, Status begun his
slashing on the poor probes, and got about 10 kills before and observer finally
arrived and ADQ3 could do something about the threat. But
to his great dismay, ADQ3 lost his last fighting men to the
DT's, forcing him to use l33t ninja probes to terminate the DT's.
was shaken, but not stirred (err, how come that sound so lame when
I say it?) and recovered his lost probes quickly, while warping
in two new gateways.
Status wasn't slacking at all, even though he had the clear
advantage by now. The sexy Greek was expanding at the northeast
main, while he, like ADQ3 got his 1+ attack upgrade.
Next offensive move came
from the Greek god of laming/gaming, Mr. Status. He had quite
a goon army, around an entire control group, and he wasn't afraid
to use them. Upon his march towards the evil protoss' main, our
hero got caught up in "some" trouble. ADQ3 had
chosen the exact same time to move out, and had a well-balanced
force of zealots and dragoons. I'd say that Status' army
had been more costly than ADQ3's, but his pure goon was
nothing compared to the mix of both melee and ranged units. With
both types on his team, ADQ3 can make his opponent micro
his ass off, while getting free hits from his own dragoons. In case
you didn't get any of the above lines I'd just say it this way;
Status got raped. ADQ3 chased his enemy back into
his base, and kept him under hard pressure with constant reinforcements
from his main. Ultimately, the whole base crumbled under the powerful
fist of ADQ3. < End of dramatization>
to have the upper hand now, and he expands to the northwest main.
He discovered the new enemy base at northeast a bit later, realizing that Stat
isn't dead at all, but is producing zeals and goons from four gates.
ADQ3 didn't find the hidden tech buildings for quite some
time, leaving Status enough time to crank out a DT that slipped
through ADQ3s main base defense, and killed 10 probes before
being spotted. This might seems as a minor detail but in fact it
not only equalized the income of the two players, but gave Status
a clear advantage, seeing how ADQ3's new expansion hadn't
come online yet.
Seconds later, ADQ3 made
a move towards Status' main, but Status had learned
the lesson from earlier on, and chased ADQ3 away with a good
microed team of zeals and goons. He also expanded to the small mining
site on the raised ground in front of his new main.
Just before he got chased
away, ADQ3 saw the new expansion and knew he was gonna do
something drastic, or get outmined before long. His new army of
mostly goons patrolled their lousy asses in a straight line en route
to an organized Status defense. The horrible strategic move
was quickly punished, and even though ADQ3 retreated his
men to regroup, he lost quite a few goons in the process.
Seconds later, ADQ3's men are better organized and he moves
in for the kill, with a much improved formation, I might add :).
The strong forces meet up just below Status' new exp, and
engaged each other with fury, both dancing like mad Scottish people
on crack (err just forget that one :O). Suddenly, Status comes
in with his zealot reinforcement, who recently got their leg enhanced
and smashes through ADQ3's goons, swiftly killing them all
and once again proving how pure goon just don't work in PvP.
Further adding to shame,
Status dropped a few zealots in ADQ3's northwest exp,
totally raping it while the battle raged. With no income to write
home about, and a unit count lower than Epoch71's IQ (No offense)
ADQ3, aka Mark4, AKA Ye 'Ole Protoss boy resigned.
Thoughts on the Game:
the longest but a close fought match that shifted back and forth
a few times. The lesson to learn here is that zeal+goon rapes pure
goon, and interestingly enough, while most battles in the game had
an even unit count on both sides, the player with the most zealots
usually won, odd =]
The other deciding factor is definitely the damn DT's, luckily there's
nothing like them in Warcraft 3 O.o
And that concludes Game 1,
but don't go away just yet, cuz the best is yet to come! Ladies
and Gentlemen, I present to you, Game 2. Which is also about twice
Lets "meet" the
players shall we?
Well, if you don't
know this guy, you properly should go see a doctor or something,
cuz he played in the previous match! Duh!
Interesting Fact #4: He uses his previously mentioned third
testicle to fight crime and micro when he's terran. How sinister...
Who? I don't know
if I should know this guy, but let me tell you this about him; he
is very good at.. errr ok forget it I don't know shit.
Less gay introductions,
As you can see, Status
got his zergy zerg hatchery at 6, while Blade got his
chosen toss at 12. Right from the beginning, I grew suspicious of
Blade's abilities, because of a horrible split, but hell
that happens to us all :)
made his first ovie on 8, and expanded to his natural at 11 supply.
His next drone sacrificed himself to make a spawning pool. A honorable
death :) Status continued his power-quick-kill-blade strat,
and made an extra hatchery at his natural, while adding a hydra
den in his main. After some drone pumping, he finally begun producing
serious amounts of troops.
noticed the obvious power trip at Status' base, and instead
of rushing he decided to tech like crazy, making a pylon on 8, gate
on 10, then gas followed by a cybercore. After some gas mining he
slapped down a robotics facility, revealing his plan to go for reavers.
He protected his ramp with a few goons and zeals, making sure Status
had no idea what was going down.
As Status began pumping
units, and started his lair upgrade, Blade sent out his sexual (sexual like summer breeze)
shuttle, containing the vaunted reaver and a zealot. Dropping the
load off at the mineral line, Blade was immediately greeted
by two hydras. Naturally they didn't live for long, but it gave
Status some time to escape his drones, making sure no more
than five drones caught a scarab in the eye (Oww). Status sent
hydras in to intercept, but Blade still had his zealot and
made good use of it, drawing fire from the fragile machine. After
several hydras had tasted the infamous scarab, the reaver and shuttle
was finally shot down.
Following the reaver drop,
Blade added a observatory and a third gateway, now producing
dragoons like the madman he is. As he moved his new goon army of
about 10 out, he remembered to expand to his natural, giving him
a distinct advantage in economy since Stat still wasn't using
his main fully yet.
The aforementioned goon army marched southwards in hopes of easy
women and easy kills, they got neither, as a tough battle ensued,
a control group of hydras and some random lings stumbled upon them
and began tearing pieces off. The powerful goons eventually won
the skirmish with some dancing and moved on to the zerg natural.
A seizable force of random zerg shit raced out to get them, and
perhaps still thinking of the easy women, Blade retreated
his goons. After he retreated, Status started his sinister
plans inside his main, by adding a queens nest.
had two forges by now, and put them to good use, soon getting his
1/1/0 upgrade. (Weapons, armor, shields). Our goonloving friend
soon had a spanking new army ready, completely ignoring the Templar>zerg
factor :) Almost 20 Goons hit Status recently started hatchery
at the mineral only, and Status starting sending in the cavalry.
Some unfortunate clicking on Status' part meant he only got
half his force in the battle at once, making life easy for the dragoons.
The initial waves of defense was easily stopped, but Status
didn't cancel the still morphing hatchery, in order to buy himself
time to construct hideous amounts of sunkens at his natural. As
the now 12~ dragoons finally charge the natural, three queens fly
in from the east, casting their dreaded ensnare spell! I'm not sure
if Status woulda been better of spending the money on fighting
units, but those ensnares saved him this time around, since ensnared
dragoons doesn't exactly "own" speedlings ;)
started his mineral only again, while Blade made the surprise
move of the match, by adding a Templar archives vs. zerg!
isn't know for his subtlety, as another horde of goons soon patrolled
their way towards the zerg hive clusters. They arrived just as Status
had expanded to his mineral only again, and were meet with stiff
response, namely two control groups of misc. zerg units with a handy
ensnare not far away :) With heavy losses on both sides (uhmm, all
their units in other words) the battle weren't really won, but rather
stopped as neither side could muster any real forces after the battle.
At this time, Status got
his lurker and drop upgrades ready, a deadly combination :) And
while our friend Blade took the 3 O'clock natural, Status
made sure to stop mining at Blade's 12 natural, keeping the
protoss executor from getting ahead in the mineral race.
he had to keep up the pressure, so far he was close to defeating
Status twice, but didn't quite finish the job. That was a
mistake he planned to correct, and his new army didn't consist solely
of dragoons! The horror! Proving that he had some strategic knowledge
he added some dark templars and valuable zeals to help deal with
his opponents cracklings.
To everyone's great surprise,
Blade went head on against the mineral only, crashing into
the hydra and zergling packs, with ensnare never far away. The zeals
did their job well and pushed back the hydras while ripping the
upgrade-less zerglings to pieces with their 1+ attack. But once
again, possibly with divine intervention, Status managed
to kill quell the attack with his last men. Deja Vu anyone?
to the 3 O'clock mineral only, but Status showed him everyone
why lurkers shouldn't be in war3, and using just 5 of them he shut
down THREE expansion at a time, the 12 Natural, the 3 Natural and
the recently built 3 mineral only. Blade wasn't really prepared
to fight lurkers, and had only established control of the mineral
only one. With these cunning moves, Status had put himself
way ahead of Blade, since the toss commander only had his
mineral only now, while Status mined from all of his three
bases. (His main wasn't dry yet.)
The first storm of the game
was unleashed as Blade moved his group of units to the center
once again and met some zergs. The storm killed- wait for it -ONE
LING. Sheesh. Anyway, Blade stormed his zerg enemy from the
east side of his mineral only, charging his new archons in with
goon support. Then Status slapped down his secret card. The
fancy weapon. The PP7! Ehmm, I mean dark swarm of course :) The
orange skies covered the protoss units, and with lurkers somewhere
under the orange sky, the brave protoss warriors didn't live for
long, getting completely owned without killing a single lurker =(
With his newfound lurker
love, Status wastes no time in morphing 15 lurkers and going
straight for gold, at Blade's only real mining site, the
3 mineral only. The underground beasts burrow right next to the
nexus and the one cannon defending, leveling with amazing speed.
To my great surprise, this prompts Blade to leave!
Yes my boys, the "stalwart" protoss leader left the game
with this sudden turn of events. He couldn't mine anywhere, and
his resources were running dry.
Thoughts on the game:
A pretty sudden
turn of events in the End, and all in all a very good game with
plenty of action, although Blade didn't quite impress me
with his game, he managed to keep Status under pressure the
entire time, not giving him any time to recover and mass expand.
Really the irritating lurker drops was the deciding factor, since
Blade had no shuttle nor that many observers. This game could
easily had gone either way but I guess Status won it :) Oh
yeah, sorry for the undramatic ending, but that really was how it
went down :(
Well kids, that's
it for this time. My thanks go out to Dialtone and Status, who made
this possible. Also credit is due to Greg Martin and Ryan Bliss
who made the fantastic art I used in the report (The background
images on the collages).
And I hope this brings the recent report sections back to life,
since people didn't exactly spam us with reports lately, but if
Dagomar keeps his promise, he will have another BR out by the day
after I posted this, so now you have something to look forward to
as well :) Another thing: This will for sure be my last Starcraft
report. I've made around 22 so far, but War 3 comes out in a few
weeks, and you can be sure I'll be there and reporting games like
never before, which I hope everyone else will :)
Before I shut down, I have
a couple of thing I wanna show you, first off; Do you remember the
SCV~007 report that had the rapping contest in the End? Well this
other day, Mr. Dag tried rapping, or singing, or making a ass of
himself. The result is show below.
I know I'm gonna forget something,
but that's why Fileread was invented, so feel free to alert me of
any mistakes. I'll finish this thing off with an interesting screenshot
I got while doing nothing in Nohunters, and I'm glad I could help.
ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe
ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe