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"WHAT'S THAT ORANGE CLOUD DO????"
-A newbie


WarCraft 3 josuXsmurf vs KoZzMoZz
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Author:ThisIsNotAnExit
IP:x130-65-XXXX
Date: 04/16/02 04:04
Game Type: Warcraft 3
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Report Rating: 7.7, # of Ratings: 3, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for ThisIsNotAnExit: 8.4000
sup -_-

Well I probably should be studying right now, for Either my chem midterm or my calc Quiz or my upcoming Humanities essay, but forget it! Who needs an education anyway? y know ?
Neway this is where I something like " hi this is the beginning of the report theres a lot of pictures , blah blah blah , go do something stupid then come back and it'll load and O Dial-up users go shoot yourself" having said that, let me say this. HI !this is the beginning of the report there's a lot of pictures , blah blah blah , go do something stupid then come back and it'll load and O Dial-up users go shoot yourself. Yea so hey, first off I'd like to thank all the reporters who have brought the site a recent slew of good material, thanks much.
O so about the game, well I have one more race featuring battlereport to do. It will be on the Orcs next, this report features the undead. The Game is just like the last , very short , but packed with cool pics. :)
So I hope you enjoy !

hope no one sues me for cutting out the blizz copyright thing



Like usual this is where I tell you a little about WArcraft3 for those of you who still live deep in that allegorical cave of non-enlightenment. Or whatever.

So yeah I took these shots on my computer again so they are the lowest quality images. Sorry t.t, if you would like better screens higher res and quality, you can send me money here. ha . neway.

This game was played last wednesday, I was desperate for something to report as once again this game really isn't very good. The game was patch 1.13 also known as "pre-starcraft2-in-fantasy-world". The newest patch is alot to swallow and I havent quite figured out wether I like it or not.

There are no longer any "no scout creeps" meaning you have to go out of your way to find creeps to level on, making rushes much more viable than in previous patches.

Also it is alot more difficult to fast expand on most maps.

Heros are summoned with a ready to roll skill point.

Attack rates have been equally diminished for all races making for much longer battles.

EVerything else is simple R.T.S build fast, tech fast, attack fast GG no RE, I'll start of by introducing the key units in this match.(be sure to alt text for stats)


Once you head down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. And you get dental.

Attack Type: Magic 
Weapon Type: Normal 
Armor Type: Hero 
Cooldown: 2.33 
Range: Melee 
 
Primary Attribute: Strength 
Strength Bonus per Level: 2.7 
Agility Bonus per Level: 1.5 
Intelligence Bonus per Level: 1.8 
Health Regeneration: Always 
Mana Regeneration: 0.5 
 
Day Sight: 190 
Night Sight: 80 
Build Time: 35 
 
 The death Knight is probably the most commonly used hero of the undead. A very strong fighter, with somewhat weak Hit points, and alot of mana. It excels mainly vs other heros with Death Coil. A coil of death flys off of his sword seaking out its victim and taking away up to 300 hit points at level 3. Unlike the death coil of warcraft2 the Death Knight does not get the damage done added to his own health. As well as the Death coil the DK gives off the "unholy aura" wich quickens movement and attack speed to all nearby friendly units. In the hands of someone that knows what they are doing the Death Knight can be the most annoying of enemy heros. Chasing down heros to Death coil them repeatedly then running off to refill mana.

Attack Type: Magic
Weapon Type: Normal
Armor Type: Hero
Cooldown: 1.8
Range: Melee

Primary Attribute: Strength
Strength Bonus per Level: 2.5
Agility Bonus per Level: 1
Intelligence Bonus per Level: 2.5
Health Regeneration: Always
Mana Regeneration: 0.5

Day Sight: 190
Night Sight: 80
Build Time: 35
 The Dread Lord is a pretty awesome hero as well, slightly more H.P. than a Death knight but far less mana. The Dread lords best ability is sleep, putting a target unit to sleep for up to 30 seconds at a time at lvl 3. I chose to dual hero with the Dread lord so as to give my fighting force a dual Aura, The vampiric aura allows all my nearby units to gain up to 15% of the damage they inflict in hitpoints. Combining this with the unholy aura, you see its quite a good combo. The dread lord currently is a much better hero, replacing Carrion swarm is a toned down version of shockwave with a wider radius and a cooler look, and the new ultimate is "summon Infernal" a hulking Demon that reeally Rox!

Spider sense... tingling. These guys are pretty cool, they are big spiders that have cool voices. They are the undead ranged attacker and main anti air unit. With an upgrade you can get the "web ability" allowing the spider to cast a web onto an enemy flying unit bringing it down and allowing all other ground units to attack it. Ranged attackers are also obviously good when they are placed behind melee units. Crypt fiends have relatively high hitpoints for ranged attackers, they are the closest to the dragoon, in starcraft terms. Also due to the nature of there firing mechanisms crypt fiends work best close to there opponent where they can reduce there cooldown time in half.


Me eat dead people. The base ground unit, a pretty mean little bunch of bones. Ghouls have relatively low hitpoints but make up for that in a pretty powerful attack, and the ability: cannibalize. Cannibalize is upgraded at the crypt tier1 and it allows a Ghoul to eat the body of a recently fallen unit to regain its own hitpoints. Personally I thought cannibalize was extremely broken in this patch, and so did Blizz cus they nerfed it to hell in 1.20






Onto the Game!



Twas wee in the morning once again, I was trying to finally break lvl fricking 11 ( I'll never make it) every time I get close a patch comes out and I lose 4-5 games due to crashes and disconnects. Well neways, I was tired of the pressures of ladder games and I was looking for a custom, but you know one thing Blizz can never patch is morons. I had the stupid idea that people with the Beta would be more fun to play a game with then common B-net scum but, I was completely wrong. t.t I join not 1, not 2, but 3 games where the creator is either A.F.K. Or intently staring at the screen watching me go fucking crazy because they wont START THE GAME.
So I give in and click play game and am Quickly ( actually ladder games arent very quick at all) tossed down at the 12 O'clock spot on one of my favorite maps, ....shit I forgot the name. Anyway. I have recieved the Undead and I quickly toss my 4 acolytes on to my haunted Gold mine and tell my ghoul to start mining wood, after telling my ghoul to mine wood, I start my fifth Acolyte at my Necropolis and select one of my first four to star a crypt and a Ziggauraut.

wow its 4 in the morning..
As warcraft 3 games tend to be very impersonal, since you dont know before hand who you are playing or the race they are, most people dont even bother to say Hi. When they do I usually tell them to shut up or something. Yet KoZzMoZz was different. he had a way with words that told me I was communicating with a real competitor, a vigorous Real time strategy Enthusiast. From the tone of his type I knew this game was going to be Goood! THats when I remembered to hit the SS key !


what eloquence, finesse, style !!

After we finish chatting I decide my ghoul is walking to far to get back to the necropolis with his heavy loads of lumber, what a caring overlord I am! So I decide to shorten his walk and build him a graveyard right near the forest. Graveyeards are the upgrade facility of the undead and also double as a lumber drop off, shortly after that I add my second crypt.

As my first crypt finishes I start up a ghoul and a trusty DArk KNight HERO ! after adding two more Ghouls my Hero rides out onto the scene with his bad, Dead self.
Dont touch me, I'm Evil

Now I have a total of 4 ghouls mining lumber I start my armor upgrade at my graveyeard and my cannibalize upgrade at one of my crypts. I take 2 ghouls and am joined by a fresh third from the crypt, off to do some creeping.

Sooo I creep yeah , I creep,, YEEahhh.. Uhh,, err how long have u been standing there ?
Now on whatever map this is, there are pockets of a gnoll warden and 2 gnoll weaklings placed near each of the 6 start spots. O by the way I'm not a chobo reporter and I'm sure most of you are wondering ( well wait I am a chobo reporter , false modesty gets extra points ) what this map looks like, if I dont even tell you the name.. but due to the current state of the game, theres no way for me to get an expanded mini map that will show you any detail. Current fog of war is very very very black on the minimap, So to bad :(

Yeah, so I go off to my nearest little gnoll to find the gnolls.. TRixXy bliZz -_-- I kill them quick and start another Zigg, pushing my allotted supply up to 30 and still pumping ghouls rallied on to my hero.

The creeps give me no trouble at all especially when cannibalize kicks in and I am able to pick up 3 tomes of Experience pushing me all the way to lvl 3 in a very short amount of time. On my way to my third Creep fight I spot a funny thing...

is it me or does the sheep look a bit korean ?

Well I thought the sheep was cool. Anyway I've not thought much of my opponent so far. I send a ghoul to scout the 2 farthest positions now, and he helpfully gets killed by some creeps halfway to nowhere. I stop scouting. Back home I start my halls of the Dead and my attack upgrade at my graveyard. I clear out several more creep groups on the left side of the map, with an uneasy feeling. Sometimes if you involve yourself in creeping to much your opponent could be focussing on massing more units than you. Usually your heros uber level can swing the fight, but sometimes not.
C.H.J. for rater ! After my hero hits lvl 4 I have placed 2 points into Death Coil and 2 points into Unholy aura, Im alerted that I'm under attack and ready my scroll of town portal as I check back to my base a peaseant gives off a bloodcurdling "YYYEEaaaRgghhhh" actually it wasnt bloodcurdling, it was even a "YEeArrrrGgghhh" he just kind of died. No matter how he died my.. human was opponent, err...or whatever, and that was a good thing.

Seeing as how I had scoured the bottom middle and left side of the map to no avail. I decide he must be rather close to me in the top right, As I send my troops home I go back to base and Order up a Dreadlord and start my second Armor upgrade upon the completion of my Halls of the Dead. I start an altar of darkness in order to get up to a black citadel, and the "ghoul fanatic" upgrade, wich increases there attack rate considerably. As I'm almost home My Dread Lord drops in.
If I have wings, why am I always walking?

Having now a Sexy DK and a Sexy DL , I put on some DKNY's since im wearing boxers right now and need to walk a mile down the hall to go to the bathroom.
Back in the game We decide to set out looking for any possible expansion attempts, by this time I have reached low upkeep with a supply of 36/40 I have added two Crypt fiends and have gotten my second attack upgrade underway. When all of a sudden I stumble onto another cute little Town hall
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

After killing the local town folk, I begin to smack it with many bony hands.. ( like thats gonna hurt wood and stone ) waiting intently for a really loud "wooooshhh " sound and his army to teleport back to his hall. However KoZzMoZz bes triXxy and does something, he splits his force into two seperate groups and attacks from around the back of the woods near the Hall. It wasnt particularly a bright move, but it did allow him to get some good damge done on the west flank, while he lulled a few ghouls away to the east side. Apparently KoZzMoZz had busied himself most of the game with a Mountain king and Paladin footmen + rifle army. He had 2/1 upgrades on rifles and footies. and a lvl 3 Pally plus lvl 1 mountain king. This is actually a very good combo the mountain king Disables heros for the army to annihilate, while taking damage, the Paladin then heals this damage along with providing the army a defense boost through Aura.
I have nothing to say

Once he showed up I send a death coil to visit his paladins happy little heart and he Storm Bolts my dread lord my closest hero. Storm Bolt is a mountain king ability where he throws a magical hammer wich deals damage and stuns the unit. My dread lord takes considerable damage from that and focus fire from rifles. His paladin heals once or twice and I nail him with another Coil.I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.

KoZzMoZz does a very good job microing , killing 3 ghouls and damaging many others before I realize that Ghouls arent supposed to die, at all, and I cannibalize, 3 seconds later my Army is at 100% health and I start to overwhelm his riflemen. A fourth Deathcoil is all she wrote for Arius The Seeker, as he falls to the ground limply, yet before he did he cast one final heal on the mountain king, who in turn casts one final devestating Storm Bolt on my Dread Lord. My Dread Lord falls almost simultaneoulsy with his paladin.

KoZzMoZz has very few riflemen left after the batte, and he retreats them homeward my Death Knight has about half hitpoints left while the Mountain King is very close to death.
with a Quick hotkey I start my Dread Lord ressurrecting and go after that pesky Dwarf with my Dk while my ghouls finish the Town hall. I chase him to the side of the mine nearest his base, up and over a hill ( that I couldnt see over) and into a trap !

KoZzMoZz had figured I'd attempt to chase down the injured dwarf and lined up his last three injured riflemen at the top of the hill. KoZzMoZz Storm Bolts my Dk brining him down to 150 hit points, with three Riflemen firing on him I thought he was a goner. Only If his mountain King can get down to deal a final blow before my Knight is unstunned.  close -_--- KoZzMoZz charges down the hill my hero wakes up casts DeathCoil and hits the Mountain king for 35 damage Killing him dead in his tracks. My Hero immediately levels taking him from almost 50 hitpoints to 90 something odd. With the increase in H.P. ( and Armor ) I'm able to flee the three Riflemen without losing my life, or more acurately without losing my dead rotting carcass riding on a dead rotting horse skeleton. At this point the Game is clinched. My hero has reached lvl 5. I eagerly anticipate a brilliant screenshot of me animating dead, then I realize I wasted a skill point putting it into Animate dead Since I have like 3 mana from the 5 coils I just cast, and it cost 300 mana to animate dead.

I'm alerted that my Dread Lord has been successfully revived See that sheep ? , thats right dont mess...


With my Dread Lord revived I set out toward KoZzMoZz over the woods and through the river, congo line style.


the army of darkness approaches
Now lets give credit where credits due, instead of a last stand dedicated fight to the death KoZzMoZz sees my Army of darkness and decides it would be more entertaining for the game to end with was that good for you........ NO!

lets here it for Koozz !



Yes I know I just lost like 1234567 rating points for ending this Game with the most anticlimactic ending ever, but hey , Repeat after me "pretty pictures... pretty pictures.... pretty pictures... pretty pictures... give me a 9.... pretty pictures.... pretty pictures...." Good, ok -_-

BtW the game might seem like suck, but it was actually a very intense little battle. Maybe not quite a game to report, yes I know but I'm less reporting a game and more introducing the site to war3. I am working currently on a huge report of epic praportions that will get me my first Solid ten rating.
I've talked to In-agent911 about playing in it vs Tiller or Pillars, or someone but he hasnt given me a time, though I've asked like 3-4 times now. So If anyone from the Br.com community who is in te top 100 on singles ladder would like to find someone else on the top 100 singles ladder to play a best of 3 with me obsing, please contact me here. If that doesnt work wich it probably wont just Email me at josu.smurf@smurfs.com or Aim at joeXsmurf.

Once Again I'd like to shout to Jeb , Dino and SmaQ and mark4 for giving me another front page Hookup !

I <3 mark4 !




life is a tale told by an idiot, with much rage and passion, Symbolizing nothing- shakespeare

this has been a Joe.Smurf production

thanx for the read, and thanks to the site

;) out

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