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Rumble in the Jungle
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Author:Killawful and KepowOb
Date: 04/14/02 04:04
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 9.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 9, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for Killawful and KepowOb: 9.0000

This BR has a grand total of 3.5 megs of pics, so if you gotta wait for them to load, may I suggest you go somewhere and read something. Another thing you can do is read the background story I have supplied you of these two battle reporters, which is conveniently placed right below this paragraph, WHOA! Talk about convenience!

Background Story:

Welcome to yet another new battle report on this fair site of ours. Now we have all seen several dozen thousand Lost Temple match ups. We have all seen the various strategies people can put into play here, and I am most certain we have all done these reports to death. BUT! We have all most certainly NOT seen Killawful and KepowOb duke it out for bragging rights for about two months now. I am sure you remember these two men, with KepowOb releasing a report of himself pulling Killawful to submission, and if you didn't see it, might I suggest you read about it here for the pictures he made for it are godly. In retort to this insult of Killawful's playing ability, Killawful made a report of his own, just to allow his name to be forever marked in that gold reports thingy I am sure we all want our name's to be marked in. He had godly pictures himself, but not necessarily of the game per se but of some scantily clad super models, this report can be viewed here.

The question left to us, the readers, is where do these two men go from here? Both men made a report getting a gold rating. Two battle reporters at the top of their game, who have reached their peak, right? Wrong! These two men intend to break the ice yet again by making the first ever*, JOINT EFFORT REPORT! That's right folks, two people making one report for your viewing pleasure! The godly pics of KepowOb with the fairly decent writing skills of Killawful join forces to make the best report ever. To quote Homer Simpson when he said that Poochie would be better then 10 Super Bowls I say this:

"I don't wanna over sell it, judge for yourselves".

*-may not be the first ever joint effort report for I have not read every single report and I believe I was told that Fox^1 did a joint report with ::nobody:: and Bane which you should go see here. (First of three game series)

The Players:

In this corner, which is the Northern plateau of Lost Temple, wearing the infested Zerg trunks, with the orange creep trimming!


(crowd boos)

And in this corner, which is the Eastern plateau of Lost Temple, wearing the gold metal Protoss trunks, with the teal psionic energy trimming!


(crowd cheers)

And now? Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!

Actual Game, (finally):

'This is my favourite br ever. Even though I understand none of the units -Cashew-of-Doom

Round 1 (Early Game Tomfoolery):

'Lesbians own.' -Drefsab

Ding Ding Ding!

Both fighters began the bout by getting their probes and drones mining, respectively. Killawful built a pylon at seven, and then sent the probe scouting. KepowOb built on overlord at nine, and I am sure had something planned out if it weren't for the fact that Killawful insisted on being such a bastard. His probe sent scouting was sent immediately to the Northern plateau of KepowOb's main. When the zerg player saw this probe he knew that Killawful would try his signature bastard move of taking the zerg's gas from him by building an assimilitor on his opponent's vespene geyser. KepowOb sent a drone running to take it first, but alas it was not to be. Probes have higher speeds, or perhaps just higher acceleration, than drones allowing an assimilator to be built rather than an extractor. KepowOb then ordered the same drone to morph into a lowly spawning pool instead, perhaps punishing it for it's failure of not getting to the geyser in time.

However the bastardness wasn't finished yet my friends, for Killawful had other plans. He then built a forge at his main, and a pylon at KepowOb's natural. He then began warping in a photon cannon to prevent any early game expanding needed for most zerg players to succeed in this game. KepowOb would have nothing of it though, and sent a drone to remove the probe from his territory. Something very funny happened next. As the drone was spitting those spines at the now defenseless probe, the probe was stuck between the pylon, the cannon, and the drone, and could not move. This resulted in his demise, but not before the cannon finished warping in killing the drone and the 2 newly made zerglings, further preventing an expansion. KepowOb figured if Killawful would be spending all this money on cannons, his main should be unprotected. He then sent his newly spawned zerglings to attack Killawful's hopefully unprotected main. This turned out to be a half truth for two cannons were in the process of warping in at the choke along with a gateway inside his main. His first zergling killed one cannon, and began to attack the second cannon, which was almost finished warping in. Killawful noticed KepowOb used the attack command, and ordered his probe to kill the zergling. The zergling brought the second cannon to the red as the probe killed it easily, thanks to the fact that the zergling was busy hitting the cannon. The cannon finished warping in, and it killed the next four zerglings marching up in single file into his main.

'To each player I give a 'Gold Balls' rating, for having some balls to do this.' -YourRoleModel

The early game shenanigans were now over with both sides beginning to tech.

Intermission between Round 1 & 2:

Well that was an impressive first round men, let us here your thoughts on the fight thus far.

Killawful: Well, I certainly did enjoy being a bastard in the beginning of the game. That gas thing may or may not be effective, but that is besides the point. It gets on your opponents nerves, especially if he is zerg because he can not get quick gas. It is good for stopping muta rushes though. I was hoping to build more cannons at his natural though, but my probe got stuck. Oh well, either way I think I did better than my opponent this round, regardless of what the score says.

KepowOb:I was pretty pissed when he took my gas as it interfered with my plans, and then that cannon, preventing me from taking my natural as early as I would have liked too since I wanted to power up quickly. Things aren't going my way right now, but part of this game is luck, and it can't be on his side the entire game (I hope).

Fascinating, now how about some first round statistics:
Our player's scores six minutes into the game:


Round 2: (6:00 into the bout)

'More babes! More money! Cooler weapons!'

The two fighters have marked their territory, and now begin to get some defense to keep up their guard against any attacks their opponent might attempt. KepowOb morphs in a hatchery at his choke with two sunkens, and Killawful warps in three cannons at his choke and three more near his miners for drops or muta attacks. Killawful wants to keep a good eye out for expansions, knowing full well that containment is a huge factor in winning against a zerg opponent. He orders one zealot to head over the Southern plateau, and one to the Western plateau. Both players expand to their naturals to gear up for some mid round collisions. Killawful is slowly teching up to templar, for no zerg can withstand the fury of a good psi storm combo, while KepowOb is teching to lurker aspect hoping to catch Killawful off guard and knock him off his feet for a quick KO. As Killawful continues to prepare his offensive, one of KepowOb's scouting overlord sees an unprotected mineral line at Killawful's natural. He unloads a sneaky combo of a lurker and hydra drop. The damage done by the blows are quickly seen as Killawful's lack of detection allows the Nexus to fall.

Ref: "1! 2! 3! 4!"

Killawful is dazed and tries to regain his bearings by unleashing a few storm combo hits, the first few decimate the hydras, but the lurkers remain. Evidence can be seen that these blows to the head which knocked the nexus down, have disoriented the Protoss fighter, as when he tries to attack yet again with his storm combo, he misses, hitting right in between both lurkers. The nexus falls, and the assimilator almost goes down as well until one last storm takes out the only lurker in range of the assimilator. With two lurkers remaining, things are not looking good for the protoss opponent.

Ref: "5! 6! 7! 8!"

Killawful quickly regains his composure after an observer is built from his newly warped in robotics facility and observatory. Killawful is back on his feet as he begins rebuilding the nexus and the fight continues.

I'd like you to know that if I had saved even one probe from the death of my last mineral only nexus (after having my probes ensnared and then getting to fight cracklings with them) I was planning on putting 'The Imperial March' by John Williams on the stereo and microing the robotic little bastard to victory -Mark4

Killawful has amassed an impressive force and decides that after having his natural killed, he should return the favor. A brutal attack of zealots, with two upgrades to weapons are sent in to KepowOb's natural, and the zerg fighter is sent reeling as all his hydras fall.

Ref: "1! 2! 3! 4!"

'More Drones' -Fizban_

The hatchery falls, but several uncounterable blows given from mutas stop the attack cold. If Killawful would have brought with him his storm combo, he might have won the game right here, but alas, three mutas and two guardians are all that is needed to stop this assault. KepowOb quickly remakes his hydra force as well. KepowOb is back on his feet and both fighters are bleeding as result of these two encounters. Both players return to their corners as the bells rings the end of round two.

Intermission between Rounds 2 & 3:

Both fighters have achieved their first blood respectively, and both fighters have measured up. Kill has consistently had a larger unit count over Kepow during Round 2, however by the end of the round, it was the zerg fighter who began to have the larger unit count. Could the zerg fighter make the come back he needed after being out mined and out produced? Could the protoss fighter get his mining operation going again after mining out his main, and having his natural destroyed? Place your bets folks, because you are in for one hell of a fight! Before the next round, how about some commentary from the fighters.

Killawful- Once I saw he was producing mutas and guardians, I knew a change in strat was in order. I started going for Corsairs, but he kept containing me, and my resources were always strained. That lurker drop also did a good job at stressing me out as well.

KepowOb- I thought I had won the game with my lurker drop, and wasn't paying to much attention to my own base until I noticed a bunch of speedy zealots in my base. I didn't think he would breakthrough my remaining hydras, but alas, he did. Luckily he only had zealots and I had already started morphing some mutas into guardians, who eventually eliminated the remaining zealots.

And now let's look at the stats of round two?

Our player's scores twenty minutes into the game:

'Neither nor the writer of this report is responsible if you turn out to be like Iggy after reading this report, thank you.' -Testosterone

Round 3: (20:00 into the bout)

A SC player craves not these things. -Weremuppet

This round got off to an extremely aggressive start. Killawful came out of his corner swinging when he sent in six dragoons to eliminate the air threat along with two corsairs. KepowOb easily stopped this assault with his rebuilt hydras, and sent in the guardians into Killawful's main to end this fight. Killawful would have none of it however, as he stopped this assault with some newly built corsairs. Killawful was wearing himself thin with producing these units, fending off the attacks, and only having his natural for support on resources. Killawful, showing no sign of it however, sent out his corsair to go overlord hunting, killing none for he ran face first into a newly created punch of KepowOb's known as the devourer. Things grew interesting as KepowOb continued to try and invade Killawful's air space with a left right combo consisting of guardians and devourers, as Killawful fended them off using storm combos and left hooks with Corsairs. Words cannot describe the impressive duel that took place here, only pictures.

'Rock beats scissors but cruiser beats zergling' -Monty Pylon

One interesting note is that KepowOb got so frustrated with the storming, that he deliberately attacked Killawful's templar archieves, not knowing, another one was built to replace it on the other side of his main. After which KepowOb moved forward, attacking Killawful with body shots from above, using the height advantage mutas have to take out Killawful's low blows and storm combos, with his templar, only to suffer defeat from some brutal uppercuts delivered by some eager dragoons. Killawful desperately needed to expand, and sent out a shuttle with one probe to grab one of the expansions. Unfortunately, KepowOb saw the shuttle and ordered some overlords to follow the shuttle. Killawful noticed this and ordered the shuttle back to base, over his cannons, bringing the overlords to the red before they ran away. However, this allowed KepowOb to see a weak spot in Killawful's defense. A spot where his guard was down, and any good boxer knows, when your opponents guard is down, unload on him, with a hydra drop in this case.

As the zerg fighter prepared his assault, Killawful sent in another squad of zealots to his natural, which would have easily decimated the hatchery, if it were not for the fact that this was where all his guardians were stationed, and they immediately rid the base of the attack.

In response to this, KepowOb decided to rid the ring of his opponent and bring him down for the count. He sent in some guardians, as a brilliant left fake punch, allowing the protoss fighter to waste his storm, and unloaded a massive right hook, of brutal hydra drop, bringing his opponent to the mat.

Ref: "1! 2! 3!"

Several buildings were destroyed in this fury attack of lefts and rights. It seemed to be over.

"4! 5! 6!"

It was now when Killawful pulled out all the stops and stormed all the hydras with such precision, all were killed save four. These last four hydras killed all of the templar, and continued to bring down their opponent.

"7! 8! 9!"

'baby jesus cries every time someone uses templar' -CynicalMagician

Suddenly out of nowhere a small group of zealots overwhelmed the last hydras and one last templar, all which were recalled from their station at the choke, just like a wavering right hand delivering an uppercut out of nowhere, the attack was stopped, and Killawful was back on his feet. Both fighters prepared for one last bout, with the protoss fighter preparing his defenses, consisting of three cannons, one zealot and four templar, and the zerg fighter preparing yet another hydra drop. This one however proved fatal, and Killawful was down and out.

Ref: "1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!

Let's all take a moment to bask in the scintillant glow of our acquired mediocrity. -~CattleBruiser~ End of Bout Commentary: Well congrats to both fighters for putting on a good clean fight. Congrats to KepowOb for winning the match, and congrats to Killawful on all the nice purty storms he pulled off. Any thoughts before we leave the battle reading public for the post fight party?

Killawful- First off I would like to congratulate KepowOb on the well deserved win. I was surprised on some of the strategies he decided to use, such as the lurker drop and guardians. Overall I think I could have played better, but I did want to practice on my storming. If I had played more aggresively I might have been able to pull this one off, but all in all, it was a good game. GG all, and see you at the post fight party.

KepowOb- I would just like to say gg to Killawful. If he had either expanded or scouted more, I think it would have been over for me. Late in the game I was relying completely on a newly formed expansion at the 9' natural since every time I had any drones at my main, they would die to another one of his attacks. Also, I have to comment him on his storm use, it was pretty impressive (and annoying).

If you wish to see the final stats, click here.

Final Game Time- 35:56

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