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"Some day there will be little CynicalMagicianettes, casting spells randomly on 30 year old women. Will they steal your wife? Probably."

Clan Saw- OwnZ j00!
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Date: 03/23/02 05:03
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 8.0, # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for mick: 7.8627
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Another day on Bnet cruising for a game, I found a recruitment game for Clan Saw-. Around 90% of all recruitment games are played on $$$ maps, but I could tell these guys knew thier shit, using the Blizz ladder map Ashrigo. Although I'm not a big fan of this map I joined anyway.
I was quite nervous as I was in the presence of the clan's leader with the unusual name of Saw-Leader. I really wanted to make a good impression so I showed good manners and tried to play as well as I could.
The pressure was intense, I was Protoss at bottom right, my opponent GOD)MODE Protoss aswell at top right. I started out not thinking straight, going forge instead of gateway, which slowed down my zealot rush. My opponent teched for a DT drop, but my 8 zealots ruined his plans slightly.
I forgot my early game carriers : \
I tore up his mineral line and gave my zealots free reign. GOD)MODE had 2 DT's just finished, but instead of using them for defense, he loaded them along with a pair of zealots into his shuttle and sent it south.
While I continued the demolition, a shuttle arrived at my base then dissapeared again amongst anti air fire.
Saw-Leader was impressed, but GOD)MODE was not, claiming my toss was slow. Never the less I finished up and headed to channel "clan saw-".

At saw-leader's request, I changed my name from scbw-newb[ie](that clan is sooooo 2 days ago) to saw-newb[ie] and returned to our clan channel. Also present was the leader of our brother clan - ROC-Leader.
I thought it best not to openly condone thier ladder abuse, and let it go. Saw-Leader was in the mood for more recruiting, it sounded fun so I gave him a hand.
Two guys joined, one using a name-spoofer. I asked him to leave but for some reason Saw-Leader wanted him to stay. It was meant to be blueUED v Closed(spoofer) but at the last second blueUED left the game so I filled in.

This was my first opportunity to fight for my clan, a great way to earn some respect from Leader. However he was more interested in Closed's hacking abilities than my playing : (
you need skill haX blue : p
My scouting SCV was attacked by 6 or 7 probes, nowhere near the mineral line : o. I sent two vultures asap and destroyed his probes, 2 more and a tank were enought to convince Closed he was done for. In a slight, but not suprising twist on the "I'll D/C" routine, Closed threatened to hack us if I continued, I called his bluff and kept attacking. He "hacked our comps" with his D/C haX, 1337.

I logged back onto B.Net and reented the channel, finding a less than impressed Saw-Leader
strong standards for clan saw- : (
Leader was orgasmic at the possibilty of getting his hands on some haXing equipment, either that or he likes to recruit Über newbs. I gave them both a few choice words about hacking and arranged a 1v1 for Zortin(Closed) and YaourtNature(aka Saw-Quebec)
another poor effort for Zortin
I was still not convinced that Zortin could suck so hard. I put a little pressure on the boy and offered some help.
He seemed eager to co-operate so I gave him a chance.
har har
The game lasted 20 seconds before Zortin disconnected.
Blech, I showed off my logic HAX, logged off and called it a night.

That was the last I heard from Saw-Zortin.


The next evening when I logged on, I msged Leader and asked him for a 1v1,
atta boy
We wasted no time.
unfortunately talking doesn't help your gameplay
Since Leader got shafted in the random pick, I gave him a tincy advantage, shared vision for 2/3 of the game.
In theory, this would make naked expanding useless, lurkers visible and give Leader tech on a stick.


Well despite seeing my every move, Leader wished to follow in the failed steps of one GOD)MODE, getting DTs and a shuttle. His DTs had foiled my first wave of hydras, but not my second. I sent close to 24 hydras into his virtually unprotected base, starting the countdown to extinction. Meanwhile a shuttle dropped 4 DTs in my main, taking out a single sunken, a few drones and my hydra den. As they followed my escaping drones, they met with many angry hydras, bummer.
The game was over and before I could ally up, my hydras finished off that last pylon.

Continuing the friendly intra-clan rivalry, I lined up my next opponent - Saw-Anything.
During the pre-game chat I learnt that Saw-Anything was only 10 y/o, how could I play the poor kid now : (
My improvisation instincts kicked in all of a sudden, I would attack Leader, then let Anything whoop me, perfect.

So we began,
aye aye aye
As would be expected, Saw-Anything was no pro, attacking the wrong player - HIMSELF T.T - This would be harder than I thought.
I sent 3 drones to Leader's base, and morphed them into a sunken triangle surrounding his hatchery.
should've been terran : p
Leader, on the ball as always, gave instant response,

Saw-Anything gave a laugh but quit the game, even though he was clearly owning me.

With some sweet talk and bribery, I convinced Leader to let me back in the channel.
and the magic phrase is - free haX
For as long as I could, I had Leader on a leash with the promise of sending him haX(ewww)

I was Protoss at 3 with Saw-G.U.U.C.I Terran at 6. Saw-Anything was busy trying to find HIS base,
you have a big mouth leader
I scouted 6 last, finding G.U.U.C.I going for what appeared to be an infantry build. I decided not to try anything fancy and went for 3 gate goons. G.U.U.C.I's bunkers were no match for my big bad goons and I ran over his base quite easily.
Saw-G.U.U.C.I logged off so leader and I played a game of Scary Movie.
poor n*sync : (
That game is not worth mentioning, Leader and I survived till the end, I figured out who the killer was but died for some reason while Leader thought I was the killer : (. I logged off for another night.


I came to channel saw that day but noone was there, and Saw-Leader was not logged on. I passed some time by joining a recruitment game for clan [42]. About halfway into the game I received a few msgs from Saw-Leader,
Still lusting for those haX, he waited for me in the channel. I ran dozens of speedlings into WarFreak[42]'s base and overpowered him. In a true show of class, he says GG and leaves, as did I.

Whoops, I forgot to backstab them like Leader wanted me to, blech, I lied about it, who would ever know : P
Yet another strange person was lurking in the channel, whoa! at times this place is busier than "Brood War Afghansitan-4". Monkey man asked us to join a strange game, with no details about what/who/where/why, but we joined up anyway.
want a banana?
It turned out that Monkey man only wanted us to help boost his own record to play ladder : ( I don't appreciate being used like that. I showed this by backstabbing both guys

I did not return to the channel that time, instead I surfaced in The Void.
I tried once again to sweet talk my way out of being banned - it worked momentarily,
1 more chance, better behave

ROC-Leader had heard from Monkey Man that I had Backstabbed him, he was very pissed off - threatening of Clan War! Saw-Leader calmed diplomatic relations by putting the entire blame on me. I was immediately on trial, ROC proclaiming that either I be banned, or the two clans would be at war.

Oh yeah, I have all teh haX

I was let back in the channel once more only to be banned yet again, I told Saw-KillinBlade a few lies then logged of as Saw-Newb[ie].

I felt unfulfilled, I couldn't end it like this, so I logged back on, but this time under a new name, 'saw-patrIoT'
; )

Fianlly a chance to see ROC-Leader's gosu skillz in akshun!
FFA eh? k.
Monkey man was ROC-Leader's brother, oh my : [

During the start of the game, both leaders were talking about my alter-ego, I chose ignorance and stuck to my game.
Saw-Leader sent 8 lings into my base, a clear violation of the 'no ling rush' rule. He claimed they were "scouting", well I had a scouting party of my own ready too,
scouting rulz

Saw-Leader very ungraciously bowed out of the game, meanwhile ROC-Leader chose the TOTAL TERRAN TURTLE TACTIK. I should have expanded hard, but I was over confident.
aww heck

My first few attacks were just enough to keep the pressure on, and slowly wear him down. After a very lucky nuke shot(sound was down too low T.T) he finally went on the offensive and headed straight for my base. Goliaths and Science Vessels lined my choke, but crackling/hydra/guardian reppelled the attack.
I again assaulted his wall, broodlinged a couple of tanks, and broke through. His economy had been shattered earlier so it was Game Over for ROC-Leader
gee thanks

Back in the channel, ROC-Leader explained to me that the circumstances were not on his side that game
normally I try
I had no reason not to beleive him, after all he was 1200+ on ladder : o
I logged off with a smile.


The next day I entered channel clan saw- as always, Saw-Leader was logged on but was in another channel,
Every clan needs a geocities site!

We decided on a public 3v3 - The might of Clan Saw- would be unleashed on 3 unlucky pubbies, errr maybe
can you say OWNED?
I was double rushed first, then triple rushed later on. Leader cannoned up and errrm did nothing else, while Quebec, walled in and failed at a tank drop on brown. ~Homer_Simpson~ and Quebec were at it the entire game. Quebec demanded a 1v1 afterwards, but didn't get it.
Leader sulked and logged off. Quebec needed a punching bag, so I gave him a game
take your anger out me me : )

It was me Zerg at 6 and Saw-Quebec Zerg at 3 on that map-o-maps, Lost Temple. I started with an offensive sunken on his choke hatch. It was easily beaten by 3 of Quebec's. By the time my speed upgrade was ready, I had around 20 lings hanging about near his choke, I sent them in, passed the tri sunken defense and straight to his mineral line. The speedlings tore up the place, destroying Quebec's Lair and Spawning Pool.
I had a spire morphing at the same time, spelling trouble for Saw-Quebec. I sent my 6-8 mutas to his choke, they took out a lone spore colony and the three sunkens. I then brought up some lings from outside the base to take out the spores at his rebuilt hatchery.
Without so much as a GG, Saw-Quebec left the game and logged off. Shortly after I did the same.


I was really excited this day, I had worker long and hard(15 mins or so) on making radiKal site for Clan Saw- and couldn't wait to show it off.
I found leader and immediately told him the news,
lord help me
I tell you I could have written an entire report about him trying to correct his link : [
I was too tired to play any games or what not, so I logged off for the night.


Time to come clean : | I decided to break the news lightly, so I posted a small news article on the Clan's Site and told them to check it out aswell as a little hint in my profile,
Saw's site ownz ROC's site : P

So my time in clan Saw- came to a swift end. I ditched the Saw- tag and logged on as newb[ie]. I was blocked from channel 'clan saw-' but not from 'clan roc]' - What's the happs in there?

Last I saw ROC-Leader was 1240 Ladder, Want to abuse?


The End.

Replays are available on Clan Saw-'s Site

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