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"At home four zealots came wandering past my choke point, took one look at the wallin, asked T_Mac for danger pay, didn't get it, and contented themselves with scouting my natural and then going on strike for better wages. I think they might be still there, waving signs and chanting 'For Hire!'

Alright, so that pun sucked. Work with me here people. It's past midnight."
-Fractal_Wave


Makin' Mayhem, a 2v2. [Flash and tonnes of pics]
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Author:ZerG~LinG
IP:p427-051XXXX
Date: 03/20/02 11:03
Game Type: Starcraft
Labels:none
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Report Rating: 8.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for ZerG~LinG: 8.3836

To kick off, take a peek at my gosu flash! I don't know how to do Loading things, so wait 'till everything has loaded.

Welcome one and all, high and low, guys and Serious, lamers and jerks! This here's another LinG report, fresh outta the toaster, same old story? NO! A new pic editor, a new kinda game, and a new map! (j/k its Lost Temple :(

It was a normal day in my home channel, Broodwar DNK-1. Lotsa people were afk, and lots of people were asking for anyone with a Warcraft 3 crack, Ahhhh lovely =) Suddenly, a guy named Kronborg started spamming the channel, asking for a 2v2, immediatly I signed up, dragging my random partner with me into the game ost//ost (cheese//cheese in english). Inside the game room, I see that I'm the last person to join, thus filling up all the slots on the original Lost Temple. Let's take a closer look at the players shall we?

Team BOLD

[CF]Zergius a veteran in Broodwars, he's played for years and is considered "above average" at the very least, his special ability is to go afk from time to time when the game is underway. He randomed to Terran in this game, and teamed up with:
Kronborg not as experienced as Zergius, a player at my own level. He has beaten me before, like I have beaten him :) His special ability is his killer Drone drop.
Facing these brave warriors

Team Italic

MikkelDrengen in english: MikkelBoy (Mikkel is a danish name). I honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's in the same clan as BTBoy, who I faced in one of my other reports. Special ability: Hatchery!
S.nL)AzurReiZ Yup! Thats my Europe nick, don't ask where I got the name from :( Special ability: Writing this report.



Say, I'll bet your're quite confused now, so before we start, I'll throw a huge starter pic at ya: CATCH!





Ohhh that looks like a clever buildKronborg started with a very distinct build, going straight for a four goller drop, just like Boxer :) In the meantime, his partner Zergius was afk for the first thirty seconds, giving team Italic a clear advantage :D When Zergius finally got his ass back to his comp, he started on a fast low tech build, with a wall and two hidden Barracks.
The members of Italic chose teching instead of rushing, I decided on a Tank, Vulture and Gol build, while Mikkel went straight for Lurkers, with a hatch on top of his ramp.
Anyways, lets get on with the first chapter in a story of laming, gaming and ehhh Pic-taking

Geddit? Fuck-up? Bah just an excuse to search net for horny woman face. (wasn't hard to find^^)



Kronborg decided to delay his own goller drop by Wraith rushing for some cheap ovie hunts, but as the world famous stunt flyer "Flyon" started hammering away at the first ovie he met, Hydras came and ruined his party, he managed to get one of the beast down, before he was shot down by two Hydras. Can anyone say 'cost-effective'?
A few seconds later, the Dropship with the killer gols arrived and although Kronborg forgot to fill the ship up, the three raging machines chopped up Mikkel's mineral line. The few survivors fled and Mikkel decided to show off his Lurkers, but he was drasticly outskilled in mobility and Kronborg took his Dropship and picked the gollers up, flying away just to return moments later and kill more Drones. Poor Mikkel. Eventually he got his Lurkers in better positions and was able to protect the mineral line.



During the goller drop, a few things happended, Kronborg began to turret up Mikkel's expansion cliff, while Zergius made quite a comeback after his afk time, and built up a huge m&m army, as they moved out, they completely overwhelmed my Vulture/Tank force that I had sent to attack, the Vultures were shot down damn fast, and the Tanks were unsieged and could do little to nothing. So the situation now is that 20 m&m's are heading my way, I got a Tank and a Vulture pumped out, and position them above the valley of my expansion, and start a bay at my wall cuz I floated my Barracks away. The marines charge in, drugged, pimped and ready to kill, but just as they get in range, the ground shakes as the Arclite shell hits the ground, killing one of the gun-toteing drug addicts, and damaging many with its splash, another Tank rolls from my Factory just as the second shell lands. Double firepower! It sieges slowly as the Marines sprint up the ramp, but are hammered with shells before the can do any damage. Zergius pulls back his force, now mainly Medics =( and positions them a few feet outta Tank range.
Kids, Just say no to stim!




Cut the boy some slack man, at least he got one goliath :(Back in Mikkels base, the Goliaths were still hustling around, killing Drones that went outside the protection of the Lurkers, and generally shooting at stuff to make Mikkel pissed. Because we have such nice teamwork, I hadn't noticed the pesky Goliaths before now, and was working on a Starport for drop and help purposes.
As mentioned earlier, Mikkel was pissed, pissed enough to send a few Lurkers en route to Zergius, unfortuantely, the gosu Terran player wasn't afk, and chopped up the Lurkers like sushi with a Samurai sword. (see pic) The only good thing in this whole paragraph would be the end of the Goliath drop, Mikkel finally managed to lure the last one into a wating Lurker. *Yeah* go team Italic! (Go objectivity as well!)



I didn't like that medic move, forcing me to print huge acsii shit all over the pictureThis is it, the infamous nine minute mark, once you've crossed, you cant go back... The laming starts here. Kronborg had been working on turtling his ass on the cliff overlooking poor Mikkel's natural as if he didn't have trouble enough already :-/ The excact moment when Mikkel decides to expand, Kronborg's first tanks arrive on the scene, surrounded by turrets. The hatchery is killed before reaching 200hp =( While Mikkel was cursing about this, I decided to ignore his pleas for help, and break from my small containment. Remember the m&m force still stationed outside my base? Well, I tried to Tank push my way out of it, and it worked great. The Marines fell quickly to Arclite fire, lets bury the puny Medics, HAHAHA! But Zergius was to have the last laugh as he suicide ran his Medic over next to my Tanks, using my other Tanks splash damage to destroy it while the Medics simply healed themselves. The sexy suiciders "killed" another Tanks before I woke up and smelt the laming, thus unsieging and killing them easily.



fuxxed in Italic that is!Team Italic was pretty behind by now, while I was only just taking my expansion, Mikkel wasn't gonna grab his untill hell froze over. On Team Bold's side, Zergius was floating a CC towards his natural, while the esteemed Kronborg already had his natural, his mineral only, and another CC in the workings, destined for the island expansion. Eco whore :(
Army wise, the difference was pretty astounding as well, Mikkel could only muster about 30 supply, while I at least worked with 40+. Zergius was busy building m&m's while massing factories for a quick tech change. On a side note I would like to add that Zergius had the best macro of all, 3+ Barracks, 3+ facts with only one expansion. Meanwhile Kronborg was massing metal outta three facts.



Mikkel attack with hopes high, but all seems hopeless when it turns out <b>Zergius</b> isn't afkAs mentioned in the above paragraph, things were looking grim for our beloved Team Italic, but one man, one guy, ONE LAMER decided to do something about it; Mikkel! Even though the man was lacking behind the rest of us in pretty much all categories, the man was still offensive. Two Lurkers was given a nice death insurance and took off for Zergius' main, hoping he'd be afk *cough* manner *cough*. The spinebusters arrive, and to their luck, no Tanks had been produced yet, a quick burrow later, and 8 m&m lay on the ground, torn to pieces. I typed "Gogogo!" and Mikkel went up the ramp, ignoring Zergius' expansion. Heading straight for the mineral line, the Lurkers avoided further conflict and burrowed nicely beside the SCV's. But Zergius was quick like Superfox, and ran his SCV's away before the lurkers could do too much damage. Instead, the underground bastards target the scanner, bringing it down to 200hp before a scan appeared above them, prompting Mikkel to move them before Marines could go in for the kill. The brave Lurkers finished off the CC and took out a few other buildings, before finally falling to a scan from the exp CC and a few Marines



They must surely hate the Mikkel guyTeam Bold was determined to get Mikkel outta the game, so a new attack was launched; first, Kronborg executed a semi-succesful drop which got owned with the help of Tanks that I had flown over there. But soon, Kronborg was pressing into the Zerg base from the ramp, killing the hatch there, and turning the defending Lurkers into huge piles of blood.



What? They're attacking ME now? asdfZergius originally decided to help with the attack, but after he saw the Lurkers, he ran to my base instead. Wasting no time, he charges into my mineral only defence, there wasn't much, and he blasts right through it. Going to my natural proves much more challenging though, several Tanks are placed at "gosu spots" and while Zergius chases one or my special dancer Goliaths, he gets pummeled by Arclite shelling. To my great irritation, he does the Medic thing again, and places them next to the Tanks, killing one of them before I can unsiege. Ultimately, Zergius flees, and Mikkel starts a hatch at my mineral only, while my speediest CC heads for the island.

I really wanted to squeeze in another horny girl into this pic, but since its a family site, I wont.



Sheesh, they really hate Mikkel :(Mikkel has survived every attack thrown at him, and, now he plans to rebuild his empire with the help of my mineral only. Meanwhile, Zergius lays out a plan for my execution, and soon a control group of Tanks are heading for my mineral only. But since I never took it, all he finds is Mikkels hatch, which he kills with extreme predjudice. While I siege all my Tanks for defence, Kronborg drops an assload of misc. Terran units in the heart of Mikkel's base. He survived thousands of attacks, but this is too big a challenge for the big bad Zerg; His Lair goes down in a spectacular explosion of blood. Luckily, he once again managed to escape with a Drone, and starts a hatch somewhere in my main :D.



Zergius' Tanks weren't gonna sit idly by while Kronborg was having all the fun, so he strolled down the path between Team Italics mains for an inverted turbo newbie. Just as he is about to siege, the feared "Waiting for players" came up. Zergius' name was on it... 40, I think its just lag. 32, could it be?. 25, OMFG we can win this! 19, Go disc, go disc, GO DISC!!! 10, MUHAHAHA HAIL TO MY MODEM POWER 0"Zergius was dropped from the game."
I come back in the game with renewed hope, normally, I would wish no-one disced, but this was too good to lose :) Kronborg eradicated the last building in Mikkels main, while Mikkel started his hatchery at my mineral only again. The Tanks in our valley were owned by three Drones in the meantime, talk about comedy :)



A map, for pure viewing pleasureSo let's take a break and look at whats left on this bloody battlefield. Mikkel is getting a pool for Lings with the minerals at his new base (My mineral only). I decided to take a small break in Tank production, and with my new gas from my island, I start working on a new, secret tech... *evil laughter*. Kronborg is left alone on team Bold, making him the anti-social guy of the match. He continues with gol/Tank and tries to take the exp's Zergius had, even though roughly 50 scv's that once belonged to Zergius, now sit idle by the minerals :)

Ahhh, the big ships, I love Titanic.



Hereeee golli golliKronborg isn't one to give up, so he pushes on towards my mineral only, where Mikkel's hatch is still morphing. Seeing how Kronborg is making Goliath, I decide to go with the obvious counter; Battlecruisers! (Something isn't right here) My first BC arrive just in time to save my natural from a mean Goliath and a few Tanks. Team Italic builds up a bit before Kronborg tries to take me out with a killer drop. ASDF! I have absolutely no defence against a drop, and now 10 gollers and a few Tanks are pounding my main buildings. I siege my Tanks and try to lure the gollers in with my BC, unfortunately Kronborg had the range upgrade, and one of my BC's fell pretty fast, but eventually, the gollers where lured in and blown to pieces.



MuhahahhaHalftime Break: Crazy Stuff:For your information, the 100th screenshot was shot right about here, and for your information Zergius had about 50 scv's around the map, as you can see on the pic, to much irritation for Kronborg :)
For your information, its now the 6th of March, and so far, about 18 pics are in the "Done" section. To my left I have an empty bottle that used to contain chocolate milk. Winamp is playing Linkin Park: Points of Authority. The latest report at br.com is Warbringer's. The latest Gold report belongs to Keanu_Reaver. Stupid name :O
Enough crazy stuff, on with the game:



Lings and Cruisers, the perfect mix eh?Both teams camped up and didn't do anything offensive until Team Italic decides its time to lay down some smack. And when I say TEAM Italic, I really do mean team; Mikkel had survived everything so far, and was pumping lings from two hatches, supporting them with the income from my mineral only.
The strong army moved out from the mineral only, the enormous Cruisers floated gently above my Tanks, while Mikkel's Lings were doing scouting and generally standing in my way, inhibiting my manuevers.



I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM!!!The gigantic fleet, coupled with the Tanks, blew the metal plates off the Goliaths, rolling over 8 of them without any losses. A Factory was blown to smithereens while the 3 mineral only expansions met a similar fate. *Swooosh* I narrow my eyes and see a distinct, very large blur... An assload of Gemini missiles hit my front Cruiser, I scan quickly, but find to my dismay that I only brought two Goliaths! ASDF! Although they do a great job, the gollers are overpowered by the more than 10 Wraiths. Seconds later, and my forth and last Cruiser is blown outta the sky. The 12 Tanks left pound the surrounding buildings, instead of fleeing back; Big mistake. Seconds later my once great army was reduced to nothing.



Next up in our great fuck-up list is Team Italic showing great teamwork; Since I got my ass throughly beaten, Mikkel tries to avenge me by sending his new ling army at Kronborg, without any support from me =( The mighty war machine (sarcasm) meets four gols and three Tanks. Result: 25 dead Lings, no dead Terrans.



Look at the last pic in this collage, how much hp does the BC have left?Team Italic was seriously behind, and I intended to do something about it. My new army consisting mostly of BC's and Goliaths cruise up the middle where an offensive Factory (it was provoking me) was downed. Filled with joy over this minor succes, I plowed on towards the 9 mineral only, now controlled by the honorable Kronborg. My lightning quick senses spot a blur in the air, HA! A scan later and the Wraiths were dropping like flies, due my newly aquired gols. The mineral only is razed to the ground, and I move on without much resistance and trash the natural too. My fun is suddenly spoiled by Kronborg's support Goliaths. Although I've sieged my Tanks and have a mean grin on my face the Goliaths trash my forces, leaving me to work on my macro again.

Yep, every story has a ending.



After my army got beat back to square one, again, Kronborg thought the time was ripe to attack. But the 12 Goliaths only managed to kill a hatchery before my newly built army could beat them down.
The map was getting totally mined-out, the 9 main belonging to Mikkel that was rediculously overtaken by Kronborg, was dry, as was my own along with Kronborg's main AND natural. At the moment, I was only mining from my island, while Mikkel had all but dried out my mineral only. Kronborg recently got his island up and running, which was now to be his only source of income.



Oh, so he's attacking again? My my what a surprise.My new BC's and a few gols charged out from my mineral only, followed closely by Mikkel's Lings. Maybe I was getting sorta predictable, cuz when we hit the 9 mineral only area, turrets were everywhere and a few Tanks were Sieged up. But since I'm no fan of subtlety, Mikkel and I drove right though with heavy losses. I used Yamato on the Tanks, but Kronborg immediatly brought in his Goliaths and pounded the BC's while they couldn't move. One by one, my big ships fell to constant Goliath reinforcements and while Mikkel's Lings tried to deal some damage, they couldn't do anything.



A quick check at my minerals revealed no income at all, pretty damn depressing =( Mikkel finally gave up and told me: "I got shit". After I advised him to go to the bathroom, Team Italic was ready for its final offensive. A victory in the upcoming battle could probably win us the game, and where there's a will there's a way. Thats what I told my 30 SCV's that I had ordered to come along for the ride, and although they didn't seem too ecstatic, they agreed. (Suckers.)
A single Battle Cruiser, five gollers, an assload of Vultures along with 30 SCV's headed for the middle, immediatly meeting resistance. Twelve Goliaths were chopped down and I started trashing the Factories standing beside his mineral only. My SCV's were repairing their Fusion Cutters off, thus the next Kronborg attack force met a fresh army. But this time, he brought more Goliaths than I could handle, and one by one my own fell to the powerful 'Dual Autocannons', leaving a few gols and five SCV's. Hrumph :(
The rest was pure formality, Kronborg walked all over my base with his Goliaths, and Team Italic resigned.

The best defence is constant offense eh? Fuck you.


Annnnnndddddd it's over! My god this took a whole lotta time so I hope you like it =)
I used photoshop 6.0 for the pics, and may I point out what a great program it is, it's really a pleausure to fiddle around with graphics when its so easy. I think my flash came out ok, next time expect a longer and more kick ass intro ;)
The game was great and tense down to the last minutes, these are times when you're happy about discs, cuz if Zergius hadn't disced, this would have lasted 30minutes less. The key factor in TvT is gas, and Kronborg had huge stocks of it, while I ran out pretty fast. The BC's are always fun to use, but I doubt their effectivity, Goliaths really own them bad, and I didn't have the gas for Tanks to counter them (due to the mass usage of gas from BC production). And btw, I hate Wraiths!! :(

Player of the game:
And the player of the game is.....Mikkel! He fought to the end and never game up, gw old boy.
Finally, I would like to thank the one and only Thunder.! a.k.a SiG. or BoX and Cer1dan for their proofreading, thanks guys! (Even though it took weeks to actually proofread it, hehe)

Time for me to sign off, hope you enjoyed it! As always post comments, they are like a tap on the back (or a hard kick in the ass) to a reporter =)


-ZerG~LinG(fan)Mail>

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