|"Lewis gives oral sex to all raters. I'm under his influence as well"|
|The "WTF, I'm a Rater Now" BR|
|Date: ||08/16/01 05:08|
|Game Type: ||Starcraft|
|Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 9, Min: 8|
Lifetime Rating for |]agomar: 8.6667
Hey. Well, I'd like to thank derek for posting the replay and "allowing" me to do the br. Some people have no doubt already watched this game. I just thought it deserved its own battlereport. Oh and thanks to Mark4 for giving me the sexy ratership.
That's about all I have to say about that.
Two people with insanely weird names, starting out on . . . Lost Temple!!!
Since there aren't even any contractions we can simplify the names down to, we'll call the orange Terran at 9:00 Wombat and his sinister brown human foe at 3:00 Lemur. In all fairness, the players deserve their names posted, so go check the scores section if you want to see ‘em ;).
The initial build orders and strategies are fairly standard. Wombat goes for the less expensive yet less effective 9:00 wall-in, while Lemur slaps down its standard counterpart. Both opponents scout one another in short order, but Lemur's SCV remains in the west, waiting for the first brown marine. When he comes the brave little peon immediately erects a bunker just in front of the orange wallin, and, when it's done, the marine quickly hops in.
That's not cool. Wombat frantically builds a factory behind his harassed wallin, which quickly begins to burn. A vulture soon appears, but the overwhelming firepower of a single marine quickly forces it away. Orange tries to look sexy by dancing it about, but that only ends up getting it killed. Finally a tank rolls out, blasting the bunker with its superior range. The bunker gets blown to oblivion, as does the wretched SCV, but at least the marine gets out with his life.
Both Terrans start expanding like mofos about now, with Lemur being the first to clinch his natural, and the slightly more cautious Wombat taking it next. A couple orange SCVs fan out from the natural a minute or two later, and start creating turrets all around brown's main and natural - providing recon while setting up for a deadly tankpush. Meanwhile, oblivious, Lemur goes straight for the Southern island, getting his natural up and running while mirroring his foe's techroute of factories.
The besieged Lemur now loads two droppers with two tanks, some SCVs and a couple marines, and slips through the turrets, still unaware of their existence. He boldly drops the lot on the cliff above the orange natural, sieging the tanks and building a bunker nearby. Unfortunately for him there's a plethora of floating orange buildings nearby, and a line of well positioned tanks guarding against just such a strike. Result: the tanks don't get very far. They manage to kill a couple SCVs before they're smashed like a racist in Haarlem.
When new orange turrets are erected around 12:00, Lemur responds in force, dropping in a tank, a couple SCVs and sending in two mean-looking valkyries.
The expansioneering continues, while tanks join the orange turrets. Suddenly a two-dropper turbo newbie taskforce leaves Lemur's main and coasts down to the Southwest, while a mighty orange quadruple dropper flotilla sails up to the Northeast. I think it's about time we had an update, since the first major action will take place just moments from now.
Lemur's droppers unload double tanks over the 6:00 natural, along with a decent number of marines and SCVs. Air defenses are quickly erected, and when both tanks siege the base is pretty much doomed. No opposition shows up to squelch the threat, and a couple SCVs lose their pathetic lives. On the contrary, Wombat, in a trait that will show throughout the game, goes on the offensive, massively dropping the 12:00 main. A huge wave of tanks and goliaths mow over the pathetic brown defenders like a transport truck crushing a small armadillo. With zero losses orange retakes and fortifies the base, and, with Lemur limited to a small portion of the map and his main blockaded, it seems like Wombat has now seized complete control of the war.
Lemur isn't about to let that carry on any further though. The haggard Terran Commander manages to release a determined smile, and orders the full might of his armed forces to the Northwest. A dropforce, no matter how enormous, is not usually a match for the entirety of an army, and things don't look good for orange as the opening salvos resound across the landscape. Eight brown tanks line up below the ramp, while a battlecruiser - of all things - moves forward to spot for them. Orange's tanks are fewer and seem scattered atop the plateau, while his goliaths are easily dealt - though not without some casualties for Lemur . When the shrieking charon missiles, the deafening acrilite rounds and the searing battlecruiser lasers have faded into the night the toll is two tanks and a cruiser for brown, and every last defender for orange.
The result is obvious. Four more brown battlecruisers roar into battle, and ravage any remaining defenders. Wombat just isn't equipped for this kind of barrage, and it doesn't take long before his bold new expansion is but a heap of smouldering, blackened rubble.
With that, we'll draw the first section of this report to a close. The major divisions in the game are about to emerge, as you'll soon see.
Lemur now has an enormous, lethal militia fully mobilized and waiting at the entrance to 12:00 - and he'll be damned if he doesn't use it. His main base's mineral only has been completely sealed off by orange - and it's as good a target as any. The tanks unsiege, roll forward, and resiege at the far end of the minerals. Orange unleashes a quick comsat, and his better upgraded behemoths score the first kills. Ghosts race forward to cast their deadly lockdown on the leading brown tanks, and though they succeed they're quickly slaughtered. Goliaths have no impact on the battle, and neither do brown's battlecruisers, which have remained back to defend 12:00. This is a tank battle, and in the end Lemur's sheer numbers make all the difference. Wombat stumbles back with painful losses, and a new brown expansion is erected onsite! For a moment, it seems Lemur has wrenched control of the game from orange's greedy talons.
Only for a moment. Wombat knows all about vengeance, and boy, is he out to get some now. A single dropper and a group of wraiths hurtle out to brown's now 10-ship battlecruiser fleet in what looks like no more than a pathetic gesture. To my surprise, eight uncloaked ghosts hop calmly out of the dropper as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and march forward, casting lockdown on every single cruiser with only three losses! The wraiths now scream forward, and destroy the entire fleet without a single casualty.
More droppers arrive, and a fresh new tankpush is started at the 12:00 main, as I reflect that Wombat apparently knows a thing or two about humiliation as well.
Lemur is pissed. There's just no other way to phrase it. He isn't about to let some two-bit dropforce seize his best new expansion mere minutes after he retook it. Rubbing his hands and with that lethal smirk his officers know all too well, he orders the existing, heavily outnumbered defenses to fight to the last man, until he can send in fresh new reinforcements. Isolated brown tanks fight with honor before they're smashed by orange's invasion force, while turrets under repair from 4 or so SCVs duel with the murderous wraith fleet. Lemur's minions fall back, until a massive new wave of tanks, battlecruisers and valkyries arrive to slap down some ownage. No doubt squealing with frustration orange is forced to leave as soon as he can, still losing all his tanks and a good portion of his wraiths in the furious counter attack.
With 12:00 retaken, and his fleet largely rebuilt ( both commanders had hugely impressive macro and micro ), Lemur no doubt feels confidence welling back into his veins. The center has now evolved into once of the oddest things I've ever seen: a straight, diagonal line from island to island splitting two opposing tankpushes. Brown sets out to do a couple yamato raids now, blasting the orange tanks closest to his mineral only with deadly nuclear salvos.
Wombat, however, isn't in the ‘mood' to lose ground. He starts a three-front attack from the 12:00 mineral only, from the direct center and from 6:00 in the hopes of crushing brown's central warriors. Tanks move up from the South and North, unsieging just out of range of their brown counterparts and spotted for by comsat. Ghosts race up to cast lockdown on a couple tanks, goliaths try and make a difference and battlecruisers thin out the orange ranks with yamato - but the opposing forces are just too perfectly blanced. There are quite a few casualties on either side, and eventually the attack just bogs down into a now familiar stalemate.
Things cool down again, as both foes continue upgrading and building whatever additional units they can. Wombat seems deeply troubled by the size of his enemy's fleet, and wants the mobility only a massive armada can offer. He also starts to build cruisers from quadruple starports, while Lemur creates a deadly wraith/valkyrie fleet to support his cruisers in the air. Comsats are never kept above 50 energy, so both players are well informed about their enemy's moves. Meanwhile, throughout all this, Lemur's battlecruisers continue their crippling yamato raids, playing cat-and-mouse with a formidable army of goliaths.
Wombat's intitial fleet of quadruple battlecruisers is now good to go, and with a vicious cackle of vengeance he summons them into the fray. Suddenly, the tables are turned, as orange battlecruisers raid brown's fringe tanks. In a sad reminder of his real status in the game, however, orange's behemoths are routed by a darting pack of wraiths and valkyries.
So, with the first appearance of an orange starfleet, let's have a bit of a status report - things are about to heat up, and indeed the battles will keep increasing now until the very end of the game.
From this point on, the action doesn't halt for a moment. A single science vessel successfully EMPs the brown battlecruisers before its blown out of the sky by their avenging turbo lasers. With their yamatos inoperative the cowardly cruiser captains resist interfering with resulting minor tank battle, whose outcome is pretty much neutral for both players.
This was all but an attention-getter, though, as the real purpose behind the brief madness Wombat unleashed was to annihilate that pesky turbonewbie that's keeping him from expanding at the 6:00 mineral only. Four battlecruisers spell the doom of the operation, and not a single tanker survives.
Nevertheless, Lemur definitely still seems in control of the game, as he unsieges his massive tank army and commands them to the West. Things seem to move in slow motion ( or maybe that's just lag ) as the brown tanks smash all opposition and head for the orange 9:00 mineral only. The tanks siege, SCVs die . . . and a massive orange battlecruiser fleet thunders into the conflict, enveloping the dwarfed tanks in inky black shadows. The lead tanks are rather brutally crushed, yet Lemur's own fleet then plummets down out of the skies. There's still no competition about who rules the air, and Wombat pulls back desperately, just barely managing to escape without losses.
With his tankpush to the mineral only fatally weakened, Lemur tries to accomplish what he failed to do in the Northern side of the center in the South. Tanks once again unsiege in that familiar yet dreaded clicking sound, rolling to the east and blasting away the local defenders. The opposition from fewer yet better upgraded tanks is quite fierce however, and without a supporting airfleet the push is ground down to another stalemate in short order.
Let's take a peek at the center again - but in a different way. There are basically two massive walls forming - one stocked with orange turrets and tanks, and presided over by two small battlecruiser fleets, and the other swarming with brown tanks, turrets and a single titanic cruiser/wraith/valkyrie armada. Two vast armies, in perfect equilibrium, vying for control of the center, neither yet knowing how to gain the upper hand.
And then Lemur decides to take a massive gamble. Having scanned the Nothern island and orange's busily mining base there, he commands his entire fleet to attack and destroy the place. What he doesn't know is that there are four orange droppers loaded with goliaths, not to mention Wombat's whole armada, waiting for him there. It seems the orange commander just caught the tail end of brown's moving fleet in a recent comsat, and is now lying inwait at the very same isle. However, as the seconds go by Wombat begins to doubt himself, and eventually just moves his fleet back to the center. Then it happens - the first major fleet battle thus far.
Unfortunately for Wombat the brown fleet catches the back end of their already retreating enemies. Yamatos sizzle through the air and send a couple orange battlecruisers plummeting to their doom, while the quicker brown valkyries and wraiths pursue the battlcruiser armada all the way back to the mineral only, downing three more capitol ships before they're forced to retreat!
So it is that, with the decisive defeat of Wombat's flotilla, Lemur feels confident enough to go ahead and bash the Northern island. And yet - let's think about that for a moment. In the center, there are four major power bases: the orange starfleet, the brown armada, the brown tank militia, and the orange tank army. For Lemur to be moving the majority of his army from the center in such plain view radically changes the situation in that area, and exposes brown's entire central facilities to battlecruiser attack.
But who cares. The island lays wide open - and its glittering resources are a hard prize to resist for old Lemur. When battlecruisers attack turrets, when wraiths duel with SCVs, the result is usually pretty obvious.
It's worth mentioning that at this point Wombat is being massively out resourced by his foe. It's also worth saying that this has been the first successful attack for either side since the line formed in the center. And, finally, it's worth noting that a very angry Wombat is rallying all his warriors in the center, getting ready for what he hopes to be a decisive push.
Prepare yourself for some serious carnage.
A slow, sly grin spreads across Wombat's harried face. The gruesome scar near his mouth twists into a long, snake of dull red as he whispers that fateful order: "engage."
Suddenly, without warning, a line of orange tanks slams into the existing brown defenses, devastating the initial tanks and turrets under a barrage of acrilite fire. Countless structures collapse in flaming ruin, and everything within the tanks' formidable range crumbles like a Manhattan lawyer stepped upon by a large Elephant.
Seething, Lemur unleashes a couple choice curses and orders his lightning-fast wraiths to terminate the threat. "Show no mercy," he hisses diabolically, as the fighters tear into the orange tanks, blowing away the nearest ones and ravaging a few turrets.
But what appears from the inky void of the fog of war but the overwhelming power of the entire orange battlefleet! The screaming engines of wraiths suddenly seem less frightening when the thundrous roar of battlecruiser afterburners reverberates across the land, and the fighters retreat as fast as they came, tails between their legs.
And yet it's far, far from over, my friends. All this was but a setup for the real battle - the battle that the game's been leading up to for the past half hour. Yes, that's right - what should emerge form the rolling thunderclouds to the East but brown's whole fleet!! Silence fills brown's battlecruiser command centers - and then, words from the Commander: "kill them - kill them all."
Wombat staunches himself for battle. He's been building up his fleet for the entire war, and for once, he will not retreat. This is his stand, and he'll be damned if he loses.
What happens when two fully upgraded battlecruiser fleets face one another? Yamato wars! Lemur opens up in style, hurling yamato after yamato at his frantically firing foes. Then it's Wombat's turn, but he's already lost a couple cruisers. The massive capitol ships slam into one another, throwing punches and taking devastating damage in return. For a split second the outcome hangs in the balance, and then brown's initial yamatos, the superior size of his fleet and his squadrons of supporting flyers make all the difference. The orange fleet retreats in disarray . . . .
But it's a very brief retreat. Buttressed by additional forces the armada returns over the shattered husks of orange turrets, but . . . the result is much the same. For the second time now Wombat finds out the hard way that Lemur can simply not be challenged in the air.
Now there's no competition left for Lemur. With Wombat's starfleet reduced to smoking husks broken upon the ground, the only resistance that remains for brown's battlecruiser fleet are numerous turrets scattered all throughout the central map. If Lemur wanted, he could move in right now and smash the orange main without a single loss. Easily.
But he chooses to be cautious. He sends a pack of wraiths to deal with the orange refinery remaining on the Northern island, then sets up a brand new base onsite. His scheme: to starve his foe, who now has only 2 mining bases left, of resources while he continues a slow push down the center of the map - after all, he does already control two third of the Lost Temple. Unknown to him, however, Wombat has amassed a whopping 15,000 minerals while he was 200 supply . . . which means he won't run out for a long, long time. And now he's pumping goliaths from factories all across his third of the map. With every passing second Wombat grows stronger and more difficult to defeat . . . .
Tick . . . tock . . . another four battlecruisers . . . tick . . . tock . . . twelve more goliaths . . . .
And then, suddenly, Lemur realizes he's made a very, very bad error. Out of the blue a massive army of tanks and an overwhelming brigade of goliaths comes pouring down the ragged ruins of the Temple, escorted by a formidable battlcruiser fleet overhead. The brown tanks are smashed, the turrets are brutally owned, and Lemur's battlecruiser fleet is sent retreating back towards the East as fast as their engines can take them.
But they can't fly far. The mineral only must be defended, and there the stage is set for the epic battle between brown's battlecruiser armada and the full might of Wombat's ground and air militias. We've gone straight across the map now, from orange's mineral only some 20 minutes before to brown's equivalent now. And then the battle is met.
The fighting is ferocious, and things get pretty ugly until the entire battlecruiser fleet is locked down. Wombat's own battlecruisers bite the dust from one two many wraith missiles, but the fighters are downed in turn . . . and then there's only one target left. Without any medics to restore them the brown battlecruisers are utterly helpless, and all are blown to smithereens in mere seconds. So it is that once again, a huge fleet goes down in a blaze of glory, but in this case brown has nothing to fall back on.
A regiment of tanks lines up at the entrance to the entrance to the 3:00 main and lays down an opening barrage, but Wombat keeps the greater bulk of his forces on the move, neither cautious nor reckless, slamming straight into the 12:00 main with newly constructed cruisers and a number of tanks/goliaths, while plowing into the 12:00 mineral only with a few goliaths. All opposition is eradicated, and soon both bases are completely sterilized.
The turn around is truly astonishing. But 5 minutes before Lemur had the game solidly in his hands, but now he looks utterly doomed. He's mining from two sites. His resources are depleted.
He's got a fresh new fleet of battlecruisers are an enormous army of tanks ready to rock at his 3:00 main. Um . . . wait a minute . . . .
The tanks move to the Northwest, and the big cruisers follow close behind. Droppers unload the tanks to lower ground and soon enough Lemur's plan becomes all too obvious - he's going to try and take back 12:00. A plethora of tanks has now been dropped to lower ground from the towering cliffs of the brown main, and the entire tank/cruiser force now rumbles forward. There's really not that much Wombat can do. His occupying force cannot hope to stand in the way of the full might of brown's amassed militia, and in a flurry of yamatos and acrilite shells the whole base goes down in a blaze of glory. Once again, 12:00 is in Lemur's hands, and I can't help but wonder if the game has turned around yet again.
But no - it seems the brown commander has simply fallen too far, too fast. Seconds after brown's great victory at 12:00 the first crippling cannon shots echo eerily across the ramparts leading into Lemur's main. And then it begins - unstoppable waves of tanks, goliaths and ghosts, all vying for a piece of the action. The tanks simply roll in unsieged, and charon missiles quickly send any intervening battlecruisers to their doom.
Lemur still remains defiant, showing a determination reminiscent of the very greatest players. His battlecruisers fall back to 12:00, where he initiates a brand new mining base. Tanks siege at the Southeastern corner of the base, ready for the worst assault. Meanwhile, nukes rain down upon brown's doomed main, their devastation accentuated by the relentless shells of now sieged tanks.
The main goes down, and now a brief pause lays across the land. Wombat, still somewhat shell-shocked at the sudden turn around in the game, rallies his swarming goliath, ghost and tank armies at the center. His numbers look utterly overwhelming, but Lemur remains determined, clenching his teeth while ordering his six battlecruisers and eight or so tanks to "fight to the very end."
And then, the orange armies surge forward to 12:00, and the battle is met. Cruisers fire the opening shots, vaporizing the first couple tanks with their yamato cannons. The brown tanks, firing from higher ground, initially do tremendous damage to the tightly packed orange units - until they are locked down. The tide turns when the goliaths show up in overwhelming numbers to down the massive battlecruisers, and as his mighty vessels go down for the last time, followed quickly by his tanks, Lemur leaves the battlefield in a waiting dropper, his greatest war a failure and his men - his friends - reduced to corpses down below.
Well, that's about all for today. You'll notice that this isn't the more original battlereport I'd promised to do, or even the join br with Eradicate~me. The latter is coming out very soon - next week, in fact, while I'm not sure about the former - I'll be in Edmonton for about a week and a half starting next Thursday, so we'll see.
I'll leave you with a bit of nh talk.