"He may have used cheese on me in the beginning, but I would use CONDIMENTS on his shiny protoss ass."
-YourRoleModel
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| The Why Not BR | | | Author: | | | IP: | spider-wXXXX | | Date: | 08/07/01 10:08 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 6, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for Dragonsven: 5.6000 |   | Unfortunately, my pics on my half-way decent BR still refuse to link so I've decided to do the next best thing and do what all my fellow NH'ers have...write their first BR without pics. Yeeeeehaaaa.
The insanity all started one night in Nohunters when Chinte, Strega, and I were seemingly unable to find ANYONE who would play a 2v2. Deciding a game was better than no game, we decided to do an ffa on the little known, little used map called Triad. The map name pretty much explains it. Three starting spots with three naturals and three "island" expansions. We all chose random because we have balls. I warped in as Protoss in the left, bottom corner. Being the gosu zeal rusher that I am, I went for the two gate/two pylon zeal rush. My seventh probe who I fondly referred to as Mr. Penis (well, not out loud of course) got some scouting done for me and I discovered Chinte in the left, top corner and Strega in the bottom, right corner. Both zerg.
Being the gosu zeal rusher that I am (yeah I know that's the second time I've said that, deal man) I ended up at Chinte's base with three zeals and a probe when he had six lings and a sunken. Deciding sunken colonies are from the devil I backed off back to my base. "Well, now would be a good time to tech to templar" is what I thought. But shuttles are so much prettier so I had 3 zeals, a dragoon and a robo facility when Chinte sent 15 lings at me. Being the gosu micro master that I am, I lost all 3 zeals, the dragoon, two probes, and a pylon.
It was at this time that Strega, the all mighty muta king, decided to play tag with Chinte so I got a much needed respite. I teched to templar and being the gosu expander that I am, I decided to not expand to ground expansions because well, I didn't have the infantry to protect them and um...yeah I was scared dammit! I admit it. So sue me. I instead expanded crazily onto one of the "island" expansions in the middle of the map. My economy hit the roof and I had 5 gateways and templar tech. I did the gosu (otherwise known as CHEAP ASS) zeal/goon/temp strat. Basically I had 12 zeals, 30 goons, and three temps.
I sent the 12 speed-zeals into Chinte's main. (why didn't I send goons and a temp too? because I'm not that smart) which died quite un-cost-effectively to 12 hydras and three sunkens. I killed 2 hydras and a sunken. I discovered seconds later that both Strega and Chinte had one operational expansion each. Strega's was three inches away from me which I didn't see for a long time because I'm a gosu scouter. Chinte's was all the way across the map at mid-right. My main had just been mined out so I finally decided to expand to a land expansion (the mid-left one) and fortified it with four dt's and a temp. My huge resource advantage that had been supplied to me because I'm gosu (well actually they just ignored me because I suck and attacked eachother) was holding me in good stead because I had 35 goons and 4 temps as my main army. I sent in a few odd goons to destroy Strega's one and only expansion which died very uninterestingly as he had nothing to defend with being engaged with Chinte.
Chinte also lost his only expansion to Strega so they both had um...no minerals. My first thought was SWEET! I can attack now. But then I thought, "What if one of my men dies? Can I really take that kind of emotional punishment? Hell yeah! I might win a game!" Anyway my large force of goons entered Chinte's main and proceeded to retreat away from his army of hydras. A few gosu storms later (actually the hydras were all spread out so the storms hit like...well...not much) the defending forces were put down with help from the goons. I then did the same EXACT thing to Strega only this time I knew what I was supposed to do so a lot less of my men died. That is to say, only about 50% of them.
Anyway, I had destroyed both their mains and no "Victory: End Mission" screen so I knew there had to be some expansions around here somewhere. I soon found Chinte's expansion on the other "island" in the middle and destroyed it with some gosu drops that only succeeded because Chinte had no money for defense. I then found Strega on the "island" expansion near the right, bottom. I took him out with some more gosu drops that only succeeded because somewhere in this crazy mess I had created a reaver. That's right, a reaver. That was when I won the game. To celebrate I popped the cork on a bottle of apple juice and drank it dry. I know, I'm a rebel. Oh yeah, and because of my gosu upgrade skills I managed to get my infantry to 3-1-2 by the end of the game. My mommy would be so proud. So watch out guys, there's a new gosu master on the block. Ask me for a game anytime. We all have to laugh sometime. Better sooner than later. I promise I won't disconnect. Hehe, you actually believed me there for a second didn't you?
I know this is probably the worst BR in the history of BR's, but hey! I've nothing better to do. Anyway, don't be stingy with the 4's. Live long and get laid a lot.
-Dragonsven "You drink. You get laid. You die." ~Papa Titus |
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