your home for Starcraft Home Forum Starcraft Tournaments

"Mark4 is just very happy that he got the race he picked before the game started."

XENOCIDE - the SC br
View or Add Comments (# of comments thus far: 19)
Date: 07/30/01 10:07
Game Type: Starcraft
Labels:Famous Reporter(1), Starcraft(1), Old Classic(1), Great Writing(1), Long(1)
Categorize this report
Report Rating: 0.0, # of Ratings: 0, Max: , Min:
Lifetime Rating for |]agomar: 8.6667

Another SC br . . . at last.

Well, it's me again. And I am seriously pised off.

My computer has just managed to erase my entire friggin SC battlereport. This has the effect of making me insanely angry, almost to an unbearable point. After working at the crazy text for about a week, my PC freezes, and promptly erases the ENTIRE FILE. I mean, it's not enough that my modem is currently broken. No - the comp just has to hit me again, just where it hurts the most.

If I'm lucky I can finish it again in another couple days. Even as I write this I am twitching with rage, and a strong desire to punch in my monitor.

Yes, this is my SC br . . . long promised, and almost completed until now. Ah well. At least it's a more interesting start now than before, and the fact that I'm angry might make this somewhat more badass than usual for me, which is probably a good thing.

I'll try and copy my last MechWarrior br where I tried to eliminate the pregame. So it is, without further ado and infuriated ranting, that I present you with . . . .

thank goodness my friggin images weren't erased too. It's a pity I don't like to swear else I'd be doing it like crazy right now.

Um . . . yeah, I'll try and make this as short as possible.

Guess what? We've got seven Koreans in this br, all out for death, violence and some quick cash. Then you have me, a Dutch Canadian, sexiest by far but with some scratches at the side of his neck from attempting to shave himself quickly ( grrrrr ), out for hot girls, blood, and the excitement of smashing peons with big ships. In other words, an 8 FFA from a first person perspective. Alright.

The fun little map-like thingie

The map's a slightly modified version of Tribes - a pretty good world on the whole. I start by going for quick infantry, and the vaunted "I'm too chicken to do a quick zealot rush so I'll wait till I have 10 or so and attack with those" strategy. I warp in double gateways, a couple pylons, an assimilator and a battery, while starting on a forge. Soon enough, ##%Han%##, the purple Terran to my Northwest, hits me hard with four marines and double medics. Luckily, I have 3 zealots at the time, so I rebuff his attack with relative ease, simmering with hopes of vengeance. OK, that's enough of this section.

Let's get to the real game.

Here we go. Get ready to kick the fires and light the tires!

Nothing happens for a while, and I begin to grow wary of the silence. A long lull is never a good thing in war - in this case I assume my foe is teching quickly, probably to the heavy metal strat which is so good at owning Protoss. Well, I wasn't about to let that happen. Rallying my 11 zealots and double goons, I set out for my purple foe's main, setting out to impair and perhaps completely destroy his tech drive. The first few marines are easy prey for my noble Protoss hordes . . . until they summon their mates. Masses of firebats, accompanied by a good lot of marines, leap out of woods to assault my startled minions. Turning about like Mep when he sees a female creature, I flee pathetically back to my main, a trail of 'bats on my tail.

Then, in mid-stride, one of my zealots notices that the Terran captain forgot to include any medics in his quick counter-attack. As he reaches my battery the zealot's eyes brighten, and, raising his blazing psi-blade high into the air, he charges back into the fray with a mighty bellow. So it is, in a dazzling turn of fates, that Han's entire militia is crushed at the footsteps of my base, though my own troops take quite a beating as well.

Since everybody's in to apes these days, let's make that the alt-text theme.

With my army broken, I frantically attempt to rebuild, living in fear of a new purple assault. Things become suspiciously still again, and I march back North once I've fully recovered. Wary, I hack through the first few supply depots with ease, and penetrate deeper into the base - only to discover a scene of absolute carnage. The last few purple defenders collapse onto the ground amidst a hellish cluster of burning, smouldering buildings, as a huge, victorious white army fans out into the ravaged base. Fresc's terran infantry has all but crushed their bretheren, and it is with some shock that I find myself facing a completely different faction than I expected. For a moment I think that my apparent triumph over Han has turned rather badly the other way, yet, nevertheless, I hurl my troops into battle, splitting them into two different pincers. bullets riddle my warriors, and many vanish in a puff of vapour, yet in the end it is a Protoss dragoon whose steely mechanical leg crushes the life out of the last terran marine. I sieze the base into my own hands, and, after sacking every last building, start a new expo.

I mean, why didn't they call that movie The Planet With Some Apes?

1 Korean down, 6 to go.

Wouldn't that be so much more accurate?

I was going to add a visual update here, but since I have so many pics already, I guess I'll cut that out. In any case, I start a new expo just off to the right of my main, and send a scouting probe to check out the upper center. It's with some shock that I discover one of #$-Xen-$#'s Zerg expansions festering at that site . . . a major threat to my own "sphere of influence." I don't know where the yellow main base is, but I learned later that it's all the way to the Southwest. If the Zerg were bold enough to start this base in the center, they must've spread all over the West. I staunch myself to attack, rally my rebuilt army ( which now includes temlpar ), and send it skittering off the East of the central Zerg infestation.

Lock n' load.

One group strikes from the North, the other hits from the South. Caught between these deadly pincers, the suprisingly poorly defended hive cluster is sliced to a million bloody bits, and I pass through with minimal losses, grinning savagely. In my wake all that's left is a couple drying husks and rapidly retreating creep, slinking back from the disfigured corpses of a few unfortunate hydras.

It's not like the planet is OWNED by the apes or anything

Unfortunately for both of us, however, Fresc seems to have some kind of wierd telepathic bond with me. Judging the central expansion just as dangerous as I'd thought it to be, the white commander sends a massive army just on the tail end of my own! Five tanks siege to the South as a troops of fearsome Terran infantry run bellowing into the waiting psiblades of my warriors. The tanks batter my struggling troops with round after round of painful acrilite fire, but don't forgot I've got templar now. The next artillery salvo is met with the dreaded crackle of a psionic storm rippling over the landscape. Countless troops die on either side, and for a moment it seems like I'm winning - until a reinforcing brigade of goliaths and infantry marches in to smash my last remaining zealots.

There's just alot of apes there, that's all.

Darn him! That can't be good. Doubtless Fresc intends to sieze the expansion for himself as quickly as he can. Furious, I train new troops at a feverish pace, and it isn't long that I have a brand new militia milling around my gateways, lusting for vengeance. I decide to give them what they want - and send them back South.
In fact, I think the whole matter borders on racism.

The opposing armies are smaller now, and I note with relief that the insidious creep still prevents the terrans from erecting any structures. An odd mix of units awaits my fury: a single valk and goliath, along with a good number of m&m. I hack into them like a hick gone crazy with his 500 hp weedwacker, and again at first it seems like I'll win . . . until, like last time, a reinforcing brigade ruins my plans.

Or would that be speciesism?

I simply can't afford to let him keep that expo - it'd be even worse for the Terrans to claim it than the more expansionist Zerg. Relentless, I muster yet another army, this one larger than the one I'd previously dispatched. I send them in two groups, one from the East, the other from the North. This time the battle's over before it started. For some reason all defenders have been pulled from the center, and there's no opposition as I slice through the rapidly erected structures. A couple SCVs lose their pathetic little lives, and the slowly retreating Command Center tumbles to the ground in a blaze of glory as a plasma bolt hurtles through its primary reactor.
I mean, we don't say Africa of the Blacks, or Europe of the Whites.
I'd won the upper center, but it wasn't long before two brown tanks, courtesy of %%oKath)- began pummeling my goons with their deadly shells. Some of my already injured warriors took heavy damage from the partially upgraded tanks, so I retreated them and instead ordered a single dark templar to take them out. One of @Hir!'s zealots aided me in my task, but it was the last kill the other Executor would ever make.

Just seconds later, he was eliminated. I wonder by who . . . .

Meanwhile, I decided I wasn't through with white yet. A thorn in my side since my second attack on Han, I resolved to strike his main while his army was still in the dumps. Rallying my now formidable army of double archons, couple templar and 20 or so goons and zealots to the central base I summoned them West with haste, hoping to catch Fresc by complete surprise. The first few marines were brutually slaughtered as my glittering Protoss hordes descended from the dusty horizon, illuminated by the glowing Archons.

Suddenly, a huge white army slammed into my warping central expansion! Apparently, Fresc was bringing his troops back to his main by cutting a path through my now undefended expansions. My warriors were now pincered between the white main and a massive, tank-equiped army. I looked about in some desperation, and then, with a gritty grin, decided that if it was a war of attrition he wanted, that's exactly what he'd get.

I neared the place my scouts had identified as the Terran main . . . only to find a ravenous yellow Zerg swarm tearing apart the last pathetic white defenses! The entire base was under assault from a ferocious Zergling brood, which my own warriors were hard pressed to dispatch of ( thank goodness from those badass Archons ). With Xen having crushed all opposition before my approach I simply waded in, blasting apart any remaining buildings and hastily summoned defenders. Moments later, the formerly glorious main is but a scattered collection of broken, smouldering buildings . . . but the frantic Terran assault upon my own expansions continues unabated!

I'm sure if you asked an ape about the whole matter, he'd be outraged.

Instead of distancing ourselves from other races, we should accept them into our society.
Paniced, I order my troops back to defend, yet just as I did one of my observers spotted the last white command center, on a raised ground island base. Since I didn't have any shuttles yet, that meant I couldn't kill it before I was forced to engage the raging white militia. Yet once again Xen came to the rescue, dropping a single monstrous lurker upon the wretched CC and blowing it to oblivion just as Fresc's army annihilated my final central structure. The Terran assault freezes in midstride, and the human Commander is lucky to escape alive.

3 Koreans down, another 4 to go.

Xen, the feroicious Zerg cerebrate at 9:00, has grown tremendously large and powerful, spreading his tendrils throughout the map. There's reason to believe, from various Korean exclamations which I take to be curses ( short words with lots of exclamations behind them ), that both the enigmatic brown and the Zerg are engaged in occassional struggles. I decide that with the destruction of white that myself and Xen are now both aggressive, expansionistic neighbours.

Translation: I better strike first, or I'll get my ass whooped by a massive Zerg attack soon enough.

I've got a shuttle, and I'm nearly done my second, deadly reaver. One of my obsies beeps its way over a brand new Zerg island expo: and guess what happens to it. Double reavers, loaded with ten scarabs a piece, drop down to blow it to smithereens.
We should take our fellow primates by the hand, and do our best to integrate them into our society.

I guess, in hindsight, that was a pretty bad move. Xen reacts with inhuman fury, and, just moments later, a titanic Zerg Swarm slams into my fully rebuilt central expansion like a tidal wave of molton asphalt. Double ultralisks, two infested terrans and over 24 hydras tear through my shining buildings, reducing them all to heaps of dulled golden rubble in mere seconds. My army, battered by the near continual battles, nevertheless races infrom the Northeast, lusting for vengeance. One group arrows in directly from the North, the other strikes from the East. I rally my zealots and archons to the front, target my dts to hit the ultras, and move my goons into the classic enveloping semi-circle. The clash is vicious and intense, and greatest battle of the game thus far. For a moment it seems I'll lose in a most humiliating fashion, but at exactly the right time both ultralisks are struck down nearly simultaneously. My troops surge forward, and with massive casualties I manage to squelch the huge assault ( unfortunately all my high templar died to zerglings when I killed white's main ).

Personally, I'd like to see an ape at the head of one out of every five businesses in America.

However, it wasn't much of a victory. My central base has been razed to the ground a second time, and, it being an important part of my economy, my future troop production will be greatly impaired. I immediately set about rebuilding, and ordered any surviving troops to the yellow Zerg main, in the hopes he hadn't immediately restored his Swarm.

I arrived a little while later, to the cordial greeting of no fewer than five lurkers. My obsie was still on the way, so, to my horror, I lost about half my army to the big spiny beasts before I managed to pummel them to death in a hail of plasma. Luckily, the rest of the base wasn't as well defended, so I tore through it like a wombat surrounded by geeky tourists. A couple infested Terrans tried to spoil my triumph, but I murdered them all before they reached me. The central Lair and Hive exploded in a mass of stinking filth but seconds later, and it was with a whoop of triumph that I realized I'd crippled the Zerg for a long, long time. I decided to focus on other matters . . . a decision which would come back to haunt me later on.

What does it say about our society if 9 out of every 10 apes don't even pass Highschool?

With that, time to start this next and biggest section( go and check out part 2 )

View or Add Comments (# of comments thus far: 19)
Back to Report Listing