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"Goliaths look much more badass than they actually are"

The DrAwesome Chronicles - Chapter 3: Estrogen Peddler Part II
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Date: 04/10/01 10:04
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 10.0, # of Ratings: 2, Max: 10, Min: 10
Lifetime Rating for CrackHeadJeb: 8.9556

This title gif owns.  Wait, no it doesn't.

If you haven't ready part one of this report, go here. Otherwise, I'll send nude pictures of you to hawk. Okay? Okay.

Game 5:

If only the map was as cool as its name.

DrAwesome: gayest map ever
DrAwesome: what is this?
Testosterone: cyclone
DrAwesome: wtf is cyclone?
Testosterone: a bw map
Testosterone: =o
Testosterone: ;)
DrAwesome: [;

Initial builds:
Testosterone: Initial overlord moves south (side note, when it spots the mineral-only expansion, it then moves west), Overlord (scouts west when spawned), Hatchery at mineral-only expansion south of his main, Spawning Pool, Hatchery in main, Extractor, Overlord, Creep Colony at expansion, Morph Creep Colony to Sunken Colony.
DrAwesome: Supply Depot, Barracks, Refinery, Factory, Factory(!), Supply Depot.

DrAwesome scouts with an SCV when he starts his first Factory. It goes to the northeastern part of the map and notices the first Hatchery, Spawning Pool, and a morphing Extractor and Hatchery. Eight zerglings chase Deon around Testosterone's base. As of this moment, DrAwesome had no combat units. Ouch. At least Testosterone hasn't found DrAwesome's main yet, due to some funky Overlord scouting.

"Brave" Deon runs like hell from Testosterone's main. To Deon's credit, though, he did lead the zerglings to the southwestern main before getting torn up.

Testosterone begins to morph a Lair and Hydralisk Den, and he sent a zergling to the southeastern main. It runs into.... two vultures and two marines! Woah! Not your standard terran opening vs. zerg!

DrAwesome moves out of his base with 4 vultures and 2 marines before Testosterone could gather up his packs of scouting zerglings. The vultures mow into two zerglings. Three more zerglings get fragged. The vultures run into six more zerglings. With a little micro, DrAwesome killed those zerglings with the loss of only one marine!

The vultures speedily drive to Testosterone's base, behind the mineral line. The vultures kill the 3 defending hydralisks and 6 drones. Testosterone retreats the rest of his drones to his expansion. Can it be? Heavy Metal winning versus zerg?!? Woah!

Alternate non-alt texts: omg, You're Crazier than CrAzY!; omg, I'm going to sex you so hard tonight!; and omg, You're killing Testosterone with laughter!

The vulture reign of terror ends when Testosterone gets a matching number of hydralisks. DrAwesome was not going to deviate from his Heavy Metal Strategy, since he built a third factory and added a machine shop to the first factory. Testosterone puts a sunken colony in his mineral line and re-maynarded drones back to his main from his expansion.

DrAwesome once again moves his troops to Testosterone's main after he starts to build two more machine shops for his factories. This time, 5 vultures, 2 marines, 1 tank, and 1 SCV are in the attacking force. This attack is not nearly as successful as the last one, because they run into eight zerglings and twelve hydralisks just outside Testosterone's main. The hydralisks triple-flanked the terran troops from the north, east, and south while the zerglings charged the troops. After the dust settled from the combat, eight hydralisks lived. Ouch.

Never has the word rape ever been more appropriate.

DrAwesome: arg
DrAwesome: this sux
DrAwesome: im screwed

The eight hydralisks go to DrAwesome's base for payback. In a fraction of a second before the hydralisks arrive, three tanks pop out of the factories and siege up. Marines blocked the only easy path to the tanks, so the hydralisks retreated to the outside of DrAwesome's main. Both sides build up forces in that area, Testosterone massing hydralisks and DrAwesome massing marines and tanks. In the meantime, Testosterone grabbed the gas-only expansion west of his main.

DrAwesome attempts to bust out of his base with 9 tanks and 5 marines. They run in to 12 hydralisks. Some tanks siege, others move around, DrAwesome exhibits fantastic micro and wins the battle with 7 siege tanks to spare.

Mass tanks.  Kick ass. ^^

DrAwesome moves his tanks to attack Testosterone's main after that victory. They spot the hatchery west of the main, and start firing on that. The hatchery explodes quickly, but it proved to be a hollow victory as over thirty zerglings and eight hydralisks charge the tanks and take them down as quickly as the tanks took down the hatchery.

Maybe if DrAwesome had a combined force of vultures and tanks it would've worked.  Or maybe not. ^^

Testosterone takes the offensive again and blitzes DrAwesome's main with the zerg swarm. Even though the defending siege tanks were beign repaired by 34896074196 SCVs, they still fell to the much bigger zerg force.

Winner: Testosterone in 15 minutes, 26 seconds.

Match Score:
Testosterone: 3
DrAwesome: 2


Game 6:

I don't see any ladders here.

Testosterone: picker
Testosterone: zerg picker
Testosterone: =o
DrAwesome: :D:D:D:
DrAwesome: i need a chance
DrAwesome: to win :{

Testosterone attempts to use Jedi mind tricks on DrAwesome.

Testosterone: im 6 pooling
Testosterone: there ya go
DrAwesome: :{
Testosterone: honestly
Testosterone: 6 ppol
Testosterone: u better
Testosterone: do it
Testosterone: draw
Testosterone: k?
DrAwesome: ??
DrAwesome: :{
Testosterone: 6 pool
Testosterone: or pool soon
Testosterone: 300
Testosterone: 4000
Testosterone: 400
Testosterone: k?
Testosterone: 5000
Testosterone: 500
DrAwesome: what????

Testosterone was 6 pooling, and he was naming off the hitpoints of his building Spawning Pool. A lesser man would've thought that Testosterone was full of horse excrement, but DrAwesome had the Force with him as well and resisted the mental attack! DrAwesome opted to use the 8 pool, and he got six zerglings a trivial time after Testosterone got his.

The 6 zerglings on each side linedanced to the center of the map. One of DrAwesome's zerglings was ahead of the others, though, and that enabled Testosterone to win the fight with two badly-injured zerglings still alive. DrAwesome was able to deal with these at his ramp, though, with two freshly-spawned zerglings.

The force is strong with this one.

While the first 12 zerglings skirmished in the center of the map, Testosterone opted to go Korean by building an extractor, while DrAwesome added another Hatchery in his main. Both competitors knew what each other had through overlord recon.

Testosterone: 2 hatch
Testosterone: chit

DrAwesome was blocked in his base, but he quickly forced his way out. With two hatcheries, he was able to keep quickly match Testosterone's zergling count. On the other hand, Testosterone had about as many drones on gas as he had on minerals, with one sunken colony protecting his base. Normally, this would be really bad, but....

DrAwesome: OMG
DrAwesome: LAIR?
Testosterone: im not teching
Testosterone: btw
Testosterone: 6 pool to 7 lair
Testosterone: is fun

Well, Testosterone just started to morph it, but DrAwesome just got his extractor. DrAwesome quickly began morphing an evolution chamber and a creep colony protecting around his drone line, and he gathered zerglings at the ramp leading to Testosterone's main. When Testosterone's Lair finished morphing, DrAwesome's zerglings moved down the ramp, into his main.

The force is strong with this one, as well.

Testosterone had a tight build. His sunken colony rested in between his Lair and his Extractor. The spawning pool was slightly vulnerable, but was still protected by the sunken colony if zerglings attacked it from any direction other than from the east. DrAwesome's zerglings approached from the east, stopped, and circled around to the northern end of the base. Testosterone responded by surrounding his sunken colony with drones and moving his zerglings into his mineral line.

DrAwesome's zerglings circle back to the eastern side of the main, and attacked the only structure that he could without being in a poor position: the spawning pool. Testosterone starts to morph a Spire, almost completely blocking off the sunken colony. He also sends his zerglings to harass DrAwesome's zerglings. The zerglings on both sides dance back and forth until the Spawning Pool eventually falls.

DrAwesome lost half of his zerglings in destroying the Spawning Pool. He began morphing his lair since he wasn't going to be able to stop Testosterone from obtaining mutalisks.

Testosterone got his spire. DrAwesome just started to morph his. He had one spore colony as his anti-air at his main. Also, he attempted to start an expansion at 2 o' clock without any support. How long would that last?

Four mutalisks and two scourge waited outside of DrAwesome's main until they are joined by 8 zerglings. Surprisingly, this bought enough time for DrAwesome to hatch 4 scourge and five mutalisks. Testosterone charged his troops into DrAwesome's main, and his mutalisks and scourge soar toward DrAwesome's mutalisks. When the air troops are about to engage, DrAwesome clones his four scourge into the four mutalisks. This neutered Testosterone's attack, and the remaining zerglings were killed by DrAwesome's mutalisks.

DrAwesome goes on the offensive with six mutalisks. His mutalisks engage Testosterone's mutalisks in the northern part of the map. DrAwesome pulls out quickly as he sees that Testosterone had an equal number. DrAwesome continues to fly in and out to harass the mutalisks until Testosterone gets fed up and followed the opposing mutalisks. DrAwesome takes advantage of this diversion and destroys Testosterone's new Spawning Pool.

From here, DrAwesome keeps building zerglings, mutalisks, and scourge. His 2 o' clock expansion never was discovered, and he was in a superior economic position the whole game. After a few more skirmishes, Testosterone offers a gg and leaves.

The force is stronger with DrAwesome, though.

Winner: DrAwesome in 12 minutes, 54 seconds.

Match Score:
Testosterone: 3
DrAwesome: 3


Game 7:

4 player hunters!

Once again, neither competitor knew the map when they entered the game setup screen. I forced them to both alt-tab to StarEdit, since the importance of this game was great. Erm, yeah.

DrAwesome: 4 player hunters:P

I had to reassure them that this wasn't the first time that anyone has ever played the map

CrackHeadJeb: JV got a 10 reporting a 2on2 on this
DrAwesome: ahhhh
DrAwesome: i remember that
Testosterone: i remmeber that
Testosterone: ahhaha

Initial builds:
Testosterone: Pylon (scout counterclockwise with probe), Gateway, Assimilator, Cybernetics Core, Pylon, Gateway, Research Dragoon Range, Pylon.
DrAwesome: Supply Depot at choke (scout clockwise with constructing SCV), Barracks at choke (completing wallin), Refinery, Supply Depot, Factory, Factory.

When Testosterone's scouting probe reached DrAwesome's wallin, and immediately went to work attacking the Depot, and the SCV building the barracks when it could. DrAwesome had to take another SCV from his mineral line and repair the depot, and the SCV when it was building on his side of the wallin.

DrAwesome's SCV found a gateway and a newly-warped in assimilator in Testosterone's base. It tries to attack a probe at the outer end of the probe line, but Testosterone simply had the probe attack it until it reached low health, then had the damaged probe mine at the middle mineral patch. The damaged SCV retreated back to its base.

When the damaged SCV came back to the wallin, it attacked the harassing probe, driving it away. Or so DrAwesome thought. The barracks was lifted off, allowing the SCV... and probe to enter.

DrAwesome: sdlkjfasdl;ksdj;lkfjsd
Testosterone: keke

The probe spotted the first factory, the proceeded to move in circles for 15 seconds until Testosterone's first Dragoon arrives at the wallin. The dragoon targets the Depot, and three SCVs hastily arrive to repair it. The probe attempted to harass the SCVs, forcing DrAwesome to micro repairing the depot, repairing the SCV, moving the SCVs away from the wallin when the dragoon steps up to the wallin, and, ultimately, making factory units to drive away the dragoons from the wallin. To make matters worse, another dragoon arrived at the wallin

DrAwesome managed to stall the dragoons, though. After what seemed like an eternity, a vulture and siege tank drive away the attackers. The Depot reached less than 100 hit points twice, but Testosterone had to switch to containment mode.

DrAwesome-'my wallin is grand'

Testosterone built two more gateways and expanded to the northeastern main, taking advantage of his aggressiveness.

Tech status:
Testosterone starts to warp in a Citadel of Adun (for speedy zealots), then a Robotics Facility.
DrAwesome builds a Starport and started a Control Tower add-on.

DrAwesome began to tank push out of his main. Testosterone opted to retreat his containment force of dragoons to the middle of the map and expand again at 9 o' clock. He also warped in an Observatory in his expansion in the northeastern main.

DrAwesome also planned a vulture drop in Testosterone's main. Four vultures were loaded up in a dropship and sent north from DrAwesome's base. The warping-in expansion at 9 o' clock was discovered and the vultures forced its cancellation. The vultures were loaded back up into the dropship and it proceeds to Testosterone's main. The vultures dropped behind the mineral line and snag a few probe kills before speedy zealots charge them. In a move that would make Zileas proud, the dropship picks up the vultures, moves to the other side of the mineral line, and the vultures drop and get a few more kills.

Now _this_ is a reaver drop.  Erm, yeah.

Testosterone eventually had clusters of zealots interspersed throughout his main, so DrAwesome's dropship goes back home, checking the vacant 12 o' clock expansion first.

Testosterone brings his gateway count to ten, and continues to move a huge amount of zealots and dragoons to the center of the map. He also starts another expansion at 3 o' clock.

DrAwesome attempted to expand to 9 o' clock. I was pessimistic of this move succeeding, as Testosterone had a very short walk to that expansion from his main. Well, sure enough, Testosterone attempted to expand there again. Seeing a constructing Command Center, he rallied his 10+ gateways to that point, and newly-hired dragoons and zealots quash the expansion attempt. He then expanded to the southeastern main.

Testosterone: +1 attack for ground forces
DrAwesome: none

DrAwesome grabs the expansion at 6 o' clock to counter, Testosterone's three expansions. Wait, sorry, four. Testosterone starts an expansion at 9 o' clock as well. TH-yare, my fellow observer, had a comment about this:

TH-yare: it seems like test is trying to show off
CrackHeadJeb: hrm, i dunno
CrackHeadJeb: heavy casualties by charging a lot of tanks
CrackHeadJeb: (my br#3)
TH-yare: then wouldn't he just leave otu half of those gates and have carriers?
CrackHeadJeb: he's old school 8*)

DrAwesome drops two tanks and four vultures at Testosterone's 9 o' clock expansion. This met without resistance, because Testosterone did not care.

Hrm, an _awful_ lot of brown on that minimap.

Testosterone: so do we attack when we get psi limit
TH-yare: cus he can suffer A LOT of casualties
CrackHeadJeb: nm

Testosterone had 43 zealots and 12 dragoons in the center of the map. DrAwesome had about 12 tanks and 12 or so vultures behind a heavily mined choke, but Testosterone did have observers. Testosterone opted to wait until upgrades or something, and he destroyed the terran force at 9 o' clock with 24 mixed ground troops.

Two vultures run into the protoss mob in the center of the map. DrAwesome could only utter one word.

Wow.  It's not like it's Big Game Hunters, either.  Wow.

Testosterone obviously had trouble spending his money, as he warped in 10 more gateways at various expansions.

DrAwesome attempted to gingerly push his tanks forward, but Testosterone had an observer there, and charged DrAwesome with everything that he had. Two words: prison rape.

DrAwesome needs about 20 more tanks to stop this.

Winner: Testosterone in 20 minutes, 12 seconds.

Final Match Score:
Testosterone: 4
DrAwesome: 3


Final Thoughts:
Thank's to Testosterone and DrAwesome for being excellent battlereporters, and for participating.

DrAwesome claims to suck, but he does a nice job of exploiting imbalances and micromanaging. 8*)

Total number of screenshots of this 7-game series: 657

Game which required the most screenshots: Gauntlet (103)

Space that the screenshots and 7 .avis took on my hard drive: 2.74 GB

Best game(in my opinion): Game 6. Very short and brutal zerg vs. zerg on Jacob's Ladder. I had no idea who was going to win until the last minute.

To DrAwesome: You own me in StrifeShadow when it comes out, k? ^^

This is what Slings really looks like in real life.  Come on, admit it. ^^

This is a CrackHeadJeb production.

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