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The DrAwesome Chronicles - Chapter 3: Estrogen Peddler Part I
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Date: 04/10/01 10:04
Game Type: Starcraft
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Lifetime Rating for CrackHeadJeb: 8.9556

A badass battlereport needs a badass title graphic.  I wish I could provide one.  Please don't stop reading. =/

To all of the DrAwesome fans, I apologize. This will be the last addition to the DrAwesome Chronicles for quite some time. Strifeshadow is leeching DrAwesome's valuable time. He claims that he blows goats, now. I managed to talk him in to being in one more battlereport, at least until Strifeshadow comes out. Since this will be the last time we will all be able to view DrAwesome's StarCraft skills, I have decided to make this chapter as grand as possible to satisfy DrAwesome's ravenous fans for quite some time.

His opponent? Testosterone, whose gosuness in battlereporting is only matched by his gosu old-school StarCraft abilities.

The game? Well, there had to be more than one. A best of 7 matchup is presented here today in full glory. Kick back, grab your favorite alcoholic beverage while the pics load, and prepare yourself for games that are of the non-Temple variety.

Game 1:

Ha!  Three ramps!  Put that in your pipes and smoke it you Temple players!

Testosterone: im purple
DrAwesome: omg where am i starting like at 2:00
CrackHeadJeb: lol
DrAwesome: so where is Test!?
Testosterone: middle
DrAwesome: x_x
DrAwesome: k
DrAwesome: wait
CrackHeadJeb: hehe, 8 o' clock
DrAwesome: is this islands?
Testosterone: words cant describe
DrAwesome: tell meeee
CrackHeadJeb: land
DrAwesome: --
Testosterone: so yes you can 4 pool

Initial builds:
Testosterone: Supply Depot, 9th SCV scouts in a clockwise direction, Barracks, Barracks, Refinery, Supply Deopt, Academy, Supply Depot, Research Stim Packs, Supply Depot, Engineering Bay, Factory, Comsat Station.
DrAwesome: Initial Overlord moves in the 8 o' clock direction, Overlord, 11th Drone scouts in a clockwise direction, Hatchery in main, Spawning Pool, Creep Colony nestled in between Hatcheries, Extractor, Morph Creep Colony into Sunken Colony, Hydralisk Den, Hatchery at mineral-only expansion below 2 o' clock main ramp, Morph Hatchery in main into Lair.

Both competitors opted to do the macho thing: to not look at the map in StarEdit before starting. This caused both players to scout early with their peons. Testosterone sent his first SCV to the northwestern part of the map, finally finding a ramp. DrAwesome's first Overlord manages to miss spotting any expansions on its way to Testosterone's base.

Testosterone: holy hell
Testosterone: i hope that isnt the nearest excit
Testosterone: xit
Testosterone: exit
CrackHeadJeb: heh, no
DrAwesome: so.,.. no natural?
Testosterone: this one of those blizzard maps
Testosterone: they made while they were on crack
CrackHeadJeb: hehe

Testosterone's first SCV arrives at DrAwesome's base from the north, spots the second hatchery building, and proceeds to build an.... Engineering Bay behind DrAwesome's mineral line. This had a serious psychological effect on DrAwesome, as three Drones were pulled off of mining to chase off the infidel SCV.

Testosterone: ebay rush?
CrackHeadJeb: hehe
DrAwesome: die?

DrAwesome's Overlord arrives at Testosterone's base and it discovers two Barracks and two Depots before wisely retreating. DrAwesome lets his scouting Drone idle south of Testosterone's base for the time being. It wasn't far enough away; however, as two marines walk by and terminate it.

Both competitors build up, with Testosterone constructing an academy and creating a marine/medic/firebat force, and with DrAwesome morphing in a Hydralisk Den and Lair for eventual Lurker tech. DrAwesome also begins morphing in a hatchery at his nearest expansion beneath the middle ramp.

The initial building period completes, and Testosterone starts the action by sending eight marines, three medics, and two firebats in a counterclockwise direction to DrAwesome's base. This force annihilates a scouting zergling halfway to its destination.

Testosterone: btw im not attacking
DrAwesome: good
Testosterone: scouting force
DrAwesome: cuz if you were
DrAwesome: yikes

DrAwesome had only five zerglings and six hydralisks there to defend. He couldn't cancel the building of the hatchery because, by the time his scouting zergling was incinerated by a firebat, the Hatchery at the expansion had already completed. DrAwesome tried to defend against the terran force, but the medics were the backbreakers. The defending zerg units and the new hatchery fall.

Imblance I say.  Imblance.

Testosterone comsatted DrAwesome's main to see if it would be prudent to continue the attack. He saw a Lair, Hydralisk Den, a Sunken Colony, and otehr tech buildings. The six marines and three medics that he had were sent up the ramp and continue on to DrAwesome's main to see what damage they could do. The leading marine spotted two freshly morphed sunken colonies and six hydralisks though, so Testosterone was content to hold the top of the ramp with his forces until reinforcements arrive.

Testosterone has not been slacking on climbing the technology tree, either. He had a Factory with a Machine Shop and a Starport. A wraith shoots down a nearby Overlord and discovers the two unoccupied island expansions.

Another hotkey of marines and three medics start to ascend the ramp when DrAwesome obtains his first lurkers. Since Testosterone had no mobile detection, his marines and medics were slowly driven out of DrAwesome's base, all the way to the choke south of the mineral-only expansion. The lurker push stopped there, since DrAwesome was running out of hydralisks to supplement his lurkers.

Curret upgrades:
Testosterone: Infantry - Armor: 1 Weapons: 0
DrAwesome: none

With military strategy like that Testosterone could very well be considered as one of the military geniuses like Napoleon.  Or maybe not.

While the marines stared the lurkers down on the battlefield, DrAwesome took his mineral-only natural again and Testosterone floated a command center to the south central island expansion. He also techs up by building a Science Facility and macros marines and medics from six Barracks. Both competitors continued to amass forces at both sides of the choke (denoted by the X on the minimap).

After a short period of inactivity, DrAwesome pushes his lurkers through the choke, forcing Testosterone to retreat backwards, even though he has a Science Vessel by now. Testosterone takes this opportunity to attack DrAwesome's expansion from the north with a hotkey of marines that traveled the map clockwise from Testosterone's base. This caused DrAwesome to lose control of his supporting units in his lurker push, and he loses them to Testosterone's marines and medics to the south. Confused? Well, look at the pretty pictures.

Testosterone relieves DrAwesome of his pants.

Since DrAwesome lost his units supporting his lurkers, Testosterone's marines and medics in the south proceed northward to meet his troops that just destroyed DrAwesome's natural expansion. They were able to eliminate the lurkers in the choke with the +1 armor upgrade, albeit suffering heavy losses. Testosterone takes advantage of this opportunity by expanding again to the mineral-only natural to his northeast.

Curret upgrades:
Testosterone: Infantry - Armor: 1 Weapons: 1 (with dual Engineering bays active)
DrAwesome: none

Testosterone now had a nice size force of marines and medics and was content with having them sit outside DrAwesome's base at his natural. An SCV builds a turret there, and Testosterone quietly gathers up a marine/medic force that no amount of zerg troops would be able to eliminate.

DrAwesome's attempts to get sneaky and sends a hotkey of zerglings in a counterclockwise direction to Testosterone's mineral-only expansion. Unfortunately, a wraith spots this troop movement and the marines and medics at Testosterone's main were sent to handle the problem.

DrAwesome begins to morph a spire in his base and he attempts to break out of his base with 12 hydralisks and six lurkers. They meet up with about 24 marines, 8 medics, and two science vessels. The lurkers burrow and kill many marines, but the superior upgrades on Testosterone's side pull him through the battle with slightly less than half of his troop count.

When Testosterone's forces continue on to DrAwesome's base, good games were exchanged.

Real men don't need Lairs.

Winner: Testosterone in 19 minutes, 1 second.

Match Score:
Testosterone: 1
DrAwesome: 0


Post game discussion:
DrAwesome: well gg
Testosterone: gg
DrAwesome: coulda said it a long time ago
DrAwesome: once again jeb --
CrackHeadjeb: hehe, next game now?
Testosterone: yah
CrackHeadjeb: it's a best of 7
DrAwesome: dont think a single one of these will work out well
CrackHeadjeb: hrm
DrAwesome: i am 0-4 against test
DrAwesome: as of now
CrackHeadjeb: will force a luck based matchpu :P
Testosterone: random maps
CrackHeadjeb: hehe

Game 2:

Search DrAwesome's reports.  This is the map that made him a hacking monkey. ^^

UpgradeYourMen: i see...
Testosterone: my logic tell me
UpgradeYourMen: i see someone getting (censored) in the near future
Testosterone: that each location
Testosterone: is randomly
DrAwesome: me :D
UpgradeYourMen: probably :)
Testosterone: palced thoughout the map
Testosterone: who is upgrade?

Testosterone begins by warping in a pylon, gateway, assimilator, and gateway. He's obviously preparing for a nice, tech-based game on Binary Burghs. DrAwesome would have none of that; however, as he began by spawning an Overlord, and then morphing in a Spawning Pool and Extractor.

DrAwesome sent his first six zerglings to Testosterone's base as he puts a Hatchery at his mineral-only expansion south of him. A probe spots the troop movement, and Testosterone remarks:

Testosterone: 4 pool?
DrAwesome: haha
UpgradeYourMen: rofl
CrackHeadJeb: lol!
Testosterone: or late scouting

The six zerglings arrive when the second gateway is just warping in. The one zealot that Testosterone had was waiting in his peon line. The zerglings attack the front probes. They retreat and the zealot pops out and attempts to kill a zergling. The zerglings almost surround the zealot and it retreats deeper in the probe line while the probes attempt to overwhelm the zerglings. The zerglings bounce to the outside and kill a building probe, while one of the mining probes zaps a zergling to death.

The five zerglings find the probe supporting both of Testosterone's gateways and start attacking that. Testosterone starts to warp in another pylon that would support one gateway should the other pylon fall, and sent his zealot to attempt to harass the zerglings again. The zerglings pull out as the zealot attacks them, and they lure the zealot out of the building formation. A drone joins the five zerglings, and they swarm the zealot, dealing serious damage to it.

The zealot retreats, and the zerglings and drone manage to destroy the pylon, even though Testosterone removes all of the mining probes to attack the attackers. The zerg force is finally put down, but all Testosterone has is 12 probes, once gimpy zealot, a Nexus, one functioning Gateway, and a heck of a lot of lost mining time.

Reminds me of the time I tried to wraith rush on A Bridge Too Near.  It seems like yesterday.  Oh, wait.  It was yesterday.

Four more zerglings arrive at Testosterone's base. They force the probes to go off mining again to help defend. The gimpy zealot dies, but the reinforcement zealot and probes kill three of the zerglings, forcing the other to retreat. Testosterone begins to warp in a pylon that can support two gateways again. DrAwesome started to morph in a Hydralisk Den and Lair simultaneously.

Testosterone: draw
Testosterone: didnt u already protect your man hood
Testosterone: in last report
DrAwesome: ar
CrackHeadJeb: hahaha

Six more zerglings stream into Testosterone's base. Testosterone's does an excellent job of sticking his zealots into the cracks of his base and he drives the zerglings away after bringing his zealot count to four.

The drones emulate the protoss probes.

Testosterone sends his four zealots out of his base. They spot DrAwesome's defenseless mineral-only expansion, kill the drones there, and start to annihilate the hatchery. The hatchery is brought down to 543 hit points before reinforcement hydralisks, zerglings, and drones kill the zealots.

Testosterone warps in a Cybernetics Core during the quiet period after the fight. DrAwesome morphs in four lurkers. Ouch. a comical scene developed when the lurkers and zealots were running side by side on the way to Testosterone's base when the zealots attempted to kill some of the lurkers. Testosterone hastily warps in a forge and a Citadel of Adun, but it is a tad too late. The lurkers arrive at the base, burrow, and annihilate it.

Testosterone did the only thing that he could do at the time: charge DrAwesome's main. He also started a nexus at the 10 o' clock mineral/gas expansion in the slim hope that DrAwesome wouldn't notice it. Testosterone leveled DrAwesome's mineral-only expansion and proceeded to DrAwesome's main. Three hastily-made lurkers stopped Testosterone's momentum, and forced the retreat of the zealots and probes.

DrAwesome's lurkers destroy the last pylon, and search for Testosterone's last structures. The lurkers search the mineral-only expansion north of Testosterone's old main. Vacant. They walk back to DrAwesome's main, hugging the central plateau, missing Testosterone's attempt at building a base. DrAwesome's lurkers spot the zealots waiting outside of his main, burrow, kill some of them, and continue to his main. DrAwesome spots some zealots in the center of the map, and chases them back to the mineral only expansion north of Testosterone's old main. At this time, Testosterone's forge completely warps in. By the time he starts warping in a photon cannon, though, DrAwesome finally discovers Testosterone's base. Lurkers surround the nexus and burrow.

Testosterone: hax ;)
Testosterone: gg
DrAwesome: took me long enough :O

Winner: DrAwesome in 13 minutes, 50 seconds.

Match Score:
Testosterone: 1
DrAwesome: 1


Game 3:

DrAwesome random hax.

Initial builds:
Testosterone: Pylon, Gateway, Gateway, Pylon, Pylon, Assimilator, Cybernetics Core, Pylon, Citadel of Adun, Forge, Templar Archives, Pylon.
DrAwesome: Overlord, Spawning Pool, Hatchery at expansion below his ridge, Extractor, Overlord, Morph Hatchery to Lair, Hatchery at another random spot on his plateau, Overlord, Extractor at expansion, Spire.

Testosterone sends an early probe to scout out his opponent. After seeing how long the walk is from his base to DrAwesome's, he made a comment that was right on the money.

Testosterone: logic defies blizzard map makers

The probe found DrAwesome's expansion, and it then strolled around his main. Then it hid in the bottom-right hand corner of the map. Testosterone knew what was coming, and made another true statement.

Testosterone: i need a big sign that says "rape me"
Testosterone: right now
DrAwesome: quote
CrackHeadJeb: quote

Both competitors were just finishing their initial builds when Testosterone took his probe and snuck past the zerglings at the top of the ramp.

Testosterone: wtf
DrAwesome: omg probe hack
Testosterone: random hatch lacement
DrAwesome: haha

The probe finds the Spire at 5/6ths completion before being torn apart by ravenous zerglings. With no cannons or dragoons, Testosterone once against found himself in a position where he had to attempt to blitz DrAwesome's main. Ten speedy zealots traverse the map in an attempt to get there to cause some damage. In the meantime, he intersperses cannons across his base to survive. Even then, it may be too late.

Seven mutalisks fly toward Testosterone's base, ready to end the game. They attack-move into the two zealots who were slower than the other zealots. Those two zealots split up, and run in opposite directions. The mutas split up and follow them. Now, Testosterone has enough cannons around his workers to avoid getting mutaharassed. Also, rather than running the zealots inside of DrAwesome's base, he also hid the eight that he still had in the southeastern corner of the map.

The zealots never really killed anything, though, so they were still sent to the Motel 6 in Aiur.

DrAwesome started to morph another hatchery and a Queen's Nest in his base and send all of his zerglings and mutalisks to Testosterone's main. Testosterone sent one of his hidden zealots to scout DrAwesome out. After seeing no defense, all eight of the zealots charge DrAwesome's expansion.

Meanwhile, 14 zerglings and 10 mutalisks slam into Testosterone's main from the front. The zerglings come in a good few seconds before the mutalisks arrive, though, and Testosterone handled the first wave of zerglings with nifty cannon placement and a dark templar. The mutalisks then arrive and take down photon cannon after photon cannon.... when they retreat back to their base. Testosterone's zealots were taking down DrAwesome's expansion hatchery quickly, and they were going to take down a lot more if there were only two mutalisks back to defend.

No matter what Testosterone does, though, I have a bad feeling that he's screwed.

The zealots tear apart the expansion hatch when a hotkey of mutalisks descend upon them. These particular zealots take the speed train to Aiur.

DrAwesome is in the process or morphing his Hive. Theoretically, the game ends when the zerg player morphs the Greater Spire on this map. Realistically, the game ends when one player is zerg and the other player is not zerg.

Testosterone starts to cannon up his expansion above him while DrAwesome rebuilds his expansion hatchery. DrAwesome figured that Testosterone was having trouble with resources, and he flew his huge wing of mutalisks to Testosterone's expansion attempt and crushed it.

DrAwesome starts to morph a greater spire while Testosterone finishes warping in a Stargate. Testosterone sends a dark templar to DrAwesome's base in an attempt to do something, since he had to station his dragoons and cannons at his main to protect against death by mutalisks. The dark templar ascend the ramp, find seventeen zerglings without overlord protection, and proceed to kill every one of them. More zerglings rallied there, and more died.

Alternate non-alttext: T_Mac would be proud of this move.

DrAwesome: asdf
Testosterone: 27
Testosterone: cool
CrackHeadJeb: hehe
DrAwesome: die

The Greater Spire completes. DrAwesome gathers a HUGE wing of mutalisks below Testosterone's main and morphs eight of them into guardians. Testosterone didn't have any anti-air at all, so the guardians and mutalisks annihilate Testosterone's base.

Winner: DrAwesome in 19 minutes, 29 seconds.

Match Score:
Testosterone: 1
DrAwesome: 2


Game 4:

The bestest 192*192 island map ever.

Initial builds:
Testosterone: Pylon, Assimilator, Gateway, Pylon, Cybernetics Core, Robotics Facility, Pylon, Forge, Observatory, Pylon, Pylon, 2 Photon Cannons protecting probe line.
DrAwesome: Supply Depot, Refinery, Factory, Command Center, Supply Depot, Starport, Engineering Bay, float Command Center to expansion southeast of main, Missile Turret protecting SCV line.

Testosterone: big island map 1v1
CrackHeadJeb: was in brood war beta finals
Testosterone: k
Testosterone: role playing time
Testosterone: im agent
CrackHeadJeb: agent smacked down zileas that game ^^
DrAwesome: doh
CrackHeadJeb: hehe

Testosterone made observers and sent two in a northwestern direction. One more west than north and one more north than west. Observer #1 flew directly over the missile turret in DrAwesome's base and exploded before obtaining any other information. Observer #2 found DrAwesome's expansion and stayed at the northern edge of it. Testosterone made another observer and sent it eastward to scout the rest of the map.

DrAwesome used a dropship to shuttle four marines to his expansion, and he used the empty dropship to scout for Testosterone. It flys right over Testosterone's mineral line and gets shot down by the two photon cannons. Ouch. At least it spotted a completely warped in Robotics Support Bay and a warping in Citadel of Adun, so it managed better recon than Testosterone's first observer.

DrAwesome built a bunker and turret at his expansion and he airlifts an SCV to the 11:30 expansion on the map. Testosterone shuttles a probe to the 5:30 expansion on the map and starts a nexus there. Testosterone explores all tech branches as he starts to warp in a Templar Archives and a Stargate. Then, blood started to pour.

Testosterone dropped a reaver and a dragoon on the north end of DrAwesome's first expansion. Testosterone keeps the troops there and returns his shuttle back to his base to get two more dragoons. After his shuttle picked up two more dragoons and was on its way back to the expansion, DrAwesome hooked around Testosterone's base with a wraith and dropship and unloaded 8 marines on the eastern side of his main. They mow down the two dragoons that aren't by the probe line and focus fire on the Templar Archives.

Meanwhile, reaver scarabs slam into the bunker at DrAwesome's expansion. It's now supported by three dragoons and an observer, so it's unlikely that this attack will be stopped without tanks.

This attack caused DrAwesome to lose his micro in Testosterone's base, and dragoons there manage to do hit-and-run attacks on the marines and eliminate them, saving the Templar Archives.

I'm not going to argue with UpgradeYourMen. ^^

Testosterone's force of 3 dragoons, 1 reaver, and 1 observer force DrAwesome to lift off his Command Center and Starport.

DrAwesome: damn
DrAwesome: jus a minute ago i had so much income :{

Testosterone takes this time to expand to the 3 o' clock island. DrAwesome opts to retake his old expansion rather than obtaining another one. He harrassed the reaver stationed there with six wraiths. Simultaneously, a dropship unloaded 1/1 marines on the western part of the expansion island. The three dragoons move in front of the reaver to drive away the wraiths, and the reaver moves back into the spread out marines. The reaver is put down, but the dragoons manage to finish off the rest of the marines. Two more dropships unload 16 marines on the island, and DrAwesome once again has the expansion.

Testosterone: Ground Troops - 0 armor/0 shields/1 attack
DrAwesome: Infantry - 1 armor/1 attack

Testosterone retaliates quickly. Twenty seconds after DrAwesome regained his expansion, five shuttles take a curved path to DrAwesome's main. They spot DrAwesome's 11:30 expansion, and drop there instead. One reaver, two Dark Templar, two zealots, three dragoons, three High Templar, and .....six probes. Now that's what I call a doom drop! The expansion falls quickly as DrAwesome did not have an answer for this protoss force there, or anywhere on the map for that matter. Testosterone is doing an exceptional job in the resource war, and DrAwesome would have to do something drastic to stay in this game.

Surprisingly, the probes didn't contribute much to the battle.  I am shocked.

Meanwhile, DrAwesome attempted another drop on the north side of Testosterone's main. Seven wraiths escorted a dropship with eight marines there, and the marines started to exit the dropship. Just before the last marine exits the dropship, this happens....

Think Ned from South Park: 'Ow it burns it burns'

Testosterone grabs two more expansions; one northwest of his 3 o' clock expansion, and one on the charred remains of DrAwesome's base at 11:30. He then shuttles his troops from 11:30 to the north side of DrAwesome's main. DrAwesome didn't offer much resistance here either! Groups of marines and a few wraiths attempted to stop the attacking force, but psi-storm and reaver scarabs brutalize the marines while the dragoons scare away the wraiths.. The intruding force lessens in number ever so slowly as newly-trained marines and siege tanks are thrown into battle. DrAwesome almost eliminates the attacking force, but he had no answer for Testosterone's last dark templar there, as he had no comsat or turrets left at his main.

Not that it would've mattered much. During this whole time, Testosterone massed eight carriers, and absolutely tore through DrAwesome's last base. Testosterone denied DrAwesome the ability to hold an expansion for any significant length of time, while being able to hold his expansions without having to fend of attacks. It wasn't a pretty game. 8*(

Winner: Testosterone in 26 minutes, 54 seconds.

Match Score:
Testosterone: 2
DrAwesome: 2


As much as you'll hate me for saying this, this isn't the end of the battlereport! At least two more games are ahead, so read them, or I'll have Iggy visit you.

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