Hi. Hi. You know, people, there comes a time
in every man's life, where he absolutely MUST read a
The..Scarab Battlereport. This, my friends, is not
one of those days. But let me make it very clear
that, if you don't, you may have to live the rest of
your life knowing that you may have missed out on
something spectacular. You might wake every
morning thinking that you had lost several enjoyable
minutes of your life. One of those mornings, you
may decide that its too much to live with, to the point
that you strip to your 'comfortables,' run out in the
street waving an Alaskan flag screaming something about
the MothaLand. Then you get hit by a truck and
die. So please, for the sake of yourself, Alaska,
and all disgruntled truck drivers, read this
that's right. Now I know we're talking about Brood
War, but don't you think that just about all the good
players on Bnet have to be ninjas? I mean, in one
form or another. Weather it be the Annoyance Ninja
skills of Ling-Erie, the Narcotic powers of Grand Master
Proto, or the Obese Ninja tactics of my own, we're all
Ninjas in one aspect. But the question is, whos
the BEST? And how wil we EVER find out?
Well, duh, put a bunch of people in a BR, and see who
wins. So that's exactly what I did.
get on with the Ninja profiles. I mean, they each
have to be good at something, right?
Krebster- Master of
SmaK- Master of Vagina
Abyss-X (Apex)- Master of
(orky)DySaBLeD- Master of
Foreign Speaking BroodWar Players
`Cactrot- Master of
Jarvis_Christ- Master of
you're good at matching the little race faces with the
names. Cause that speaks for itself. I hope
you can read and recognize the map, Wheel of War as
well. Cause that's the map. Now, before we
get started, there's a little background info to take
care of. See, there was a little more to this
BR. More specifically, Krebs. See, Krebs
wanted to make things interesting, and chose to do so by
dropping some acid beforehand. Of course we had to
wait a little while, but not long. Once Krebs was
ready, we were ready, and the start button was
guess I have to drop the ninja thing and get to the
actual Brood War talk, so that you damn game freaks that
flip the hell out about detail, and writing can have ONE
LESS THING TO WHINE ABOUT IN THE COMMENTS!
..ahem. Anyway, heres your PRECIOUS
Krebs, being zerg, does an
understandable Hatch, pool, gas/hatch.
Understandable, that is for a guy whos about to meet the
penguin. His pool says alot, as his build wouldn't
diverge far from strait ling. The question was,
what the hell he was gonna do with them.
Jarvis goes simple depot, rax,
depot/gas. fac. Leading anywhere from more facs,
to starports. Knowing the players of this game, it
might just have ended up a little gayer than that.
And let's make things easy on me for once:
SmaK does the same exact
Abyss uses his dropping Ninja Toss
skills and immediately drops from the game.
Haha. Not really. Actually he goes Pylon,
Gate, Pylon/Gas, core. Gosh, he must have learned
his toss from ZNZF! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
`Cactrot whips it good with a Hatch,
Hatch, pool/gas. Vunerable to a rush, but hey, who
the hells gona run into a bunch of guys in red hats with
a whip early on? Yea, thats what I
DySaBLeD insists on being korean, and
does the same thing Apex did. Pylon, Gate,
Pylon/gas, core. Although he throws in a Forge as
well. Doing that, only to be the Koreab outcast
he is, I'm sure.
probably hoping that something interesting happened in
those few minutes of build orders. Well, you're in
luck. Because I forgot to mention the 7th Ninja
of this game, Ender, Master of "I'm a stupid fag
that dosen't know how to stay in a game." He asked
a stupid question and left. DySaBLeD also said something funny
trainees, is a perfect example of how to suck ass as a
Ninja. Other than that, the only other thing that
sparks the slightest interest was the sliding of
Krebs. It was taking him awhile, not slowing his
BO or anything. But trust me people, he was
yes. By the time Krebs was done being able to PLAY
IT, it was apparent what each player was up to.
Thier differing Master Ninja skills would now come into
play as they set off on thier own path.
Krebs got a jump on things.
His trip must have enhanced his speed because he quickly
got a supreme number of lings, and had scouted well with
his Olords, easy to do in Whell of War, I
suppose. But his tripping Ninja skills
wouldn't come into play just yet. What was he
gonna do with those lings?
`Cactrot had some ling games of his
own. His quick multiple Hatches made for lotsa
lings, just as Krebs had. However, as his
Devo sensei had told him long ago. "Burrow
owns." Indeed, he sent packs of lings outside of
his base and burrowed them. Both him, and his
tripping zerg counterpart had something to stir up some
horrific acid trip spaz, Krebs sent his 2-3 groups of lings
smack into the middle of DiSaBLeD's base. They made quick
work of a few drones, before the Protoss could send his
only defense to the situation, Goons, and a lone
Although that itself wasn't enough to deal with the
problem, he was smart enough to run his Probes to help
out. This kind of problem required every single
probe he had. The Korean Ninja sensei was
displeased, however, as there was just too many lings to
deal with. Many of them were killed, that is,
until the second and third batch of them followed.
DySaBLeD's buildings were going down
one by one. His last resort was to run away to the
southernmost expansion and quickly expand. It
seemed to work at first, as Krebs did not follow, but would it
other end of the map, Smak, and
confrontation of thier own. Smak
had quickly thrown up 3 starports, and make 3
wraiths accordingly. He flew them to what seemed
natural, south, right into `Cactrot's main. And since our
80's rock band loving friend had nothing but burrowed
lings, he had quite a problem to deal with. He
did what seemed normal, and threw up a quick Evo(DEVO
HAHAHAH) chamber, and spores to follow. With a few
correctly placed colonies, the spores did thier job, and
Smak's air force flew
the drop master, Abyss. Now, this gag came into effect
as we attempted to create the game. It was
horribly lagging from one person or another. And
Apex decided to blame it on everyone. "hey guys,
recconect and get 1g" "Hey guys, turn off AIM and
ICQ" "Hey guys, get better lag pls thx gw"
It all ended with a "Apex was dropped from the game" on
the first attempt. NOW WHO NEEDS BETTER LAG? Ahhh
yes, it feels good.
what he was doing in the game was important too.
Yea. He made gate after gate, making Zeals, Goons,
and Temps. To support his horde, he slowly grabbed
2 expansions below him. If he was left
alone, this strat of his could take his dropping master
skills all the way.
like to take this time to say, damn Jarvis.
bastard to hell. Because he did what no sane man
should do. He, being idle up until now, was left
alone to mass a group of infantry, and sneak around the
corner into Krebs' base. His lings were
still mingling in
the remnants of DySaBLeD's main, so he little-to-nothing
to defend with. That, "horribly wrong thing that
no sane man would do" was eliminating a potential
hilarity throughout the game. Krebs
hold on, and was promptly eliminated.
it. Damn it. But all was well, because the
acid sliding powers of Ninja Krebs were too much to be
killed by a simple loss in BW. His Ki affected our
game, even from the channel.
flew my cursor elsewhere, and discovered that
SmaK had decided to stay effective with
his Wraiths. After leaving `Cactrot.
needed something to do with them. After hearing
that Jarvis had taken out another player,
he deduced that there was an open base
to torture. Some effeciently placed turrets kept
SmaK from doing any serious damage, but
they weren't effective enough, as the Wraiths were
simply flown behid his peon line, and took
them out one by one. Instead of running them
however, Jarvis did what he does best, and went: "___ __
___ __ _ ____ _ __ __", then, taking advantage of how
extremely pussy wraiths are, and simply put some medics
among his SCV's. This was quite effective, as it
took awhile to even get rid of one peon. It also
gave time for him to run his infantry back home and deal
with the pesky flyers.
somewhat frail from the looks of that map, that wasn't
the case at all.
He had quite a force of infantry to be mean with.
The only problem was that it wouldn't last him very long
if he didn't stop going "___ _ ___ _ ___" and
expand. `Cactrot had a healthy number of lings
to do harm with, and would soon have a job to do.
discovered these lings by means of "scouting."
Yea. Anyway, he reacted quickly by making a few DT
and sending them to take the lings out. However,
overlord, and used some 'micro' to deal with the
invisible little bastards.
done yet. He figured he had done away with enough
lings to finish off `Cactrot with his remaining army.
So he took nearly all he had, that being Goons, Zeals,
and Temps. Seemingly plently do finish the job, as
he had been left alone to expand all this time.
But, on his way, he ran into the remnants of
assumed to have just been floating around somewhere, had
actually established a new base, and had pumped 12-14
goons by then. Of course, that wasn't nearly
enough to stop Abyss, who opted to sidetrack, and
deal with the remainder of the Protoss enemy. Hew
swept through the few defending Goons, and proceeded to
take out DySaBLeD.
taken care of, Abyss went on with his original
mission to take out `Cactrot.
the news of DySaBLeD's death was heard among
everyone, so `Cactrot was ready to whip it
good. He placed his entire force in a position to
handle any attack, and simply waited for the Protoss to