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"Scorched Basin: where the women are uglier than the tileset and the peons require state-sanctioned bussing to reach the nearest trees."
- CattleBruiser's Basin Street Blues


Mark4 and [FLS]Prozerran vs Basic and PeonRapist in a sexy 2v2
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Author:Testosterone
IP:mkc-65-2XXXX
Date: 01/21/01 08:01
Game Type: Starcraft
Labels:Famous Reporter(1), Starcraft(1), Great Writing(1), Problem: Broken Images(1)
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Report Rating: 9.8, # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for Testosterone: 9.5500
Howdy
  

     Howdy, welcome to another Testosterone battlereport.  I was having a tough time finding a game to battlereport, and when I did my comp decided to screw me and so I had to format, but now I am back in action looking for a game to report.    I was sitting in the channel looking for a game to play when  Mark4 and [FLS]prozerran came in a were looking for a 2v2.  Basic and PeonRapist replied that they were up for the challenge, so I bring to you Mark4 and [FLS]prozerran vs Basic and PeonRapist in a 2v2 game on Mausoleum.

          There may be some things better than sex and some things may be worse, but there is nothing exactly like it. - W.C. Fields

     As you can see, Mausoleum is very much a rush map, being very open and very flat with easy access to all locations.  I was clearing my picture folder out as the game started, so I am not sure what races were chosen.  Mark4 ended up as protoss at the 3 o'clock position, with his partner [FLS]prozerran as terran at 12.  Terran and .protoss, a very lethal combination, especially with these players.  Basic ended up as terran at 9 while his partner, PeonRapist, spawned as zerg at 6. 

 "Hi I'm Mr. 7 pool man!"    Both teams quickly built up their bases, as Mark went for the standard build consisting of a pylon on 8 followed up by 2 gateways on 10 and 12-13 while constantly pumping probes.  Prozerran also went with the conventional build by gettning a supply depot on 8 followed by a 2 barracks on 10, and 12.  Basic and Peon do not fool around, as they both go with very quick builds.  Basic builds depot on 8, followed by 2 barracks on 10, choosing to get fighting units quicker at a small cost to his economy.  Basic tells Peon he should pool early, and Peon responds smiling that he will pool on 7, hoping to get an early kill on such a  rush map.

     "Shit, forgot to scout" comes across the screen as Prozerran realizes his team hasn't scouted at all.  Seconds after saying this 6 zerglings romp into Mark's base.  Mark has no zealots at the time due to the fact it was an early pool and also it was such a small space between him and PeonPeon quickly assaults the probes, as Mark shows some good micro grouping all his probes by telling them all to mine from the same patch.  Still the zerglings kill 10 or so probes before a zealot pops out and  is able to finish the remaining lings off.   Basic starts up another barracks during all this commotion, continuing to pump a lot o' rines.  Prozerran gets"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner." -  Lynda Montgomery a refinery and continues to pump marines, while Mark has finally fought off all the constant little ling attacks by PeonPeon has been concentrating on hitting Mark constantly, so he only has 5 drones mining, he also starts up a hatchery while building lings and a few drones.  Mark constantly pumps probes and gets some zealots hoping to live long enough to get back on his feet. 

More action ensues as Basic take his 7 marines and goes to see if he can deal the final blow to MarkPeon sends up 4 lings in hopes of helping his partner.  They charge into Mark's base only to find him well prepared with 4 zealots and 8 marines from Prozerran waiting.  During this attack Prozerran started up an academy.  As soon as Basic's offensive was squashed prozerran and Mark take their lethal combo of 5 zealots and 5 marines and head off to Peon's base.  Peon sees this with a scouting ling and quickly decides that his 4 lings can't hold this offensive, so he morphs 2 creep colonies and then to sunkens.  The first sunken colony gets on line just as the attacking force arrives.  Due to great building placement and good micro Peon holds off the attack by using his drones to block the zealots from getting to the sunken, as he uses his lings to distract the marines.  To be honest when I saw this attacking coming toward Peon I told my fellow observor, Wangsonn, that is was over.  I was happy and quite impressed that it went on.   

        "When I find the man who wears the same gloves as I, looks like me, has the same DNA as I, and has a history of beating his former wife Nicole, then I will have found the real killer."  - O.J. Simpson

     Basic had sent a force of marines he had gotten out of his 4 barracks to help his partner, but since Peon handled the situation by himself Basic went on to attack Mark.  What happend was quite funny, as Basic's marines were just about to reach prozerran and Mark's reinforcement they had sent during the 1st attack.  So, Basic sends his force to Mark's base while Mark and Prozerran send another attack force consisting of approximatley 3 zeals and a handful of marines to try to kill Peon.  The marines arrive and quickly mow down 3 zealots that are protecting Mark's base.  They rip down a pylon and a gateway when Prozerran's 7 marines and 2 medics show up and attack the marines just as 2 zealots warp in from the remaining gateways as they are thrown into the fray.  Mark brings back 2 of the zealots from the offensive on Peon and with the help of the 2 medics kill all of Basic's marines.  4 lings show up and try to help but are quickly cut down by the psi blades of the 3 remaining zealots.                         

                    Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. - Dan Quayle 

     Mark is alive, but badly injured.  Prozerran has a small force stationed outside of Mark's main to ward off a further attack.  Little did they know a much bigger force consisting of Basic's 20 marines are again heading towards Mark's base.  They waste little time killing the Prozerran's M&M, then 8 lings from Peon arrive.  Things are looking very dim for Mark as more reinforcements from Basic arrive.  As 12 marines and 5 lings are wreaking havoc on Mark's naked main, Prozerran sends 6 more marines accompianed by 2 medics.  This force cuts down some of Basic's reinformement marines.  Basic sees this and send his his 12 marines that are left to attack Prozerran's force.  Gauss rifle fire is exchanged as Basic comes out on top, but only 5 marines remain.  During this firefight Mark's probes dealt with the 5 remaining lings.  2 zealots come out of Mark's gates and charge the 5 remaining marines, but these marines have been reinforced by 4 more marines and 12 lings.  This force tear into Mark's remaining buildings as Prozerran leaves his base with another force to try to stop the destruction of Mark's main.

     Time to take a break and check what everyone is doing.  Mark4 is trying to stay alive, but Prozerran is doing just fine.  He is pumping from 4 barracks, has a factory with add-on completed, and also has a starport with add-on.  Peon has gotten back on track having 3 hatcheries while upgrading to lair.  Basic is still pumping from 5 barracks' while getting a factory and an academy.

     Back to the action.  So Basic and Peon are ripping into Mark's base when along comes Prozerran's rescue force.  2 tanks siege up in range of the marines and blast away.  The marines die as all of Peon's lings come charging at the tanks, that is when the 8 or so marines behind the tank stim and charge in, completley decimating all the lings which are attacking the tanks.  During this battle Mark4 said "good luck" thinking it was over, but he kept that fighting spirit he is known for glowing, read "The Little Engine That Could," and kept on scraping the bottom of the barrel, barely surviving yet another decimating  attack.                       

         "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."  -  Jesse Jackson  

     Keep in mind that this is only 12 minutes into the game, fast paced eh?  As soon as Mark is secured Prozerran decides to turbo newbie Basic.  With the sighting of a near by overlord Basic realizes that he has nothing that can compare to a tank and runs his SCVs away quickly, waiting for his first tanks to come online.  While the tank blasts away Peon's lair finishes Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager morphing and he starts up a spire while expanding to his natural.  Mark quickly started on a citadel of adun then as soon as that is done getting a templar archives.  He also adds on another gateway so compensate for the two he lost.  "You ought to go back to driving a truck." - Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954. Very smart move by Mark, templars are something that could turn the tide of this battle.  Prozerran still is pumping out troops as he expands to the natural between him and MarkProzerran uses a comsat on Peon's main and sees that a spire is building.  Prozerran quickly constructs a bunker in Mark's minerals, to protect him from the mutas that were sure to come.  Basic finally gets 2 tanks, and with the spotting of an overlord is able to to kill Prozerran's tank.  This cost Basic precious mining time as well as the loss of some SCVs along with his refinery.  As soon as he clears his cliff Basic tells his partner to watch his "gosu" move.  He moves 1 tank and all his infantry, which number into the 30's, down below Mark's base.  While he is getting his forces ready Mark starts gettin templar as Prozerran starts producing wraiths as well.  Basic stations 1 tank right below and uses Peon's mutas to spot for him. 

           n           Mark4: Hey Basic, do you like apples?                             Basic: Yah

     Mark calmly sends down 1 unit to kill Basic's troops, and that unit is a dark templar.  Mark4: How do you like dem apples bitchYes, there is no overlord around and no Basic doesn't have a scanner.  Basic's "gosu" move was "gosu" for about 25 seconds until it turned into a very "un-gosu" mistake.  The dark templar immediatly starts cutting down marines left and right, and then eventually chops the the tank down.   Basic runs what troops are left back to Peon's base.  Another attack on Mark thwarted.  Now it's Prozerran's turn to attack, as he moves out his M&M force and heads for Peon's natural.  On the way half of the force gets side tracked and runs into Basic's natural, where he is building a command center.  Basic cancels the construction of the command center and sieges his tanks in preperation of an attack.  Prozerran simply moves on to Peon's natural.  Once Prozerran gets there he attacks some lings, causing a stream of them to come 1 by 1, allowing Prozerran to stim and simply obliterate them.  Peon quickly realizes this and moves his lings back to the cover of his 1 sunken.  Once Prozerran charges in and attacks the sunken Peon sends his mutas in from the left and his lings in to the right.  You know the great thing about tv? If something important happens anywhere at all in the world, no matter what time of the day or night, you can always change the channel - Jim Ignatowski The M&M rip through the lings and then start attacking the mutas, this is when Basic's marines that were left over from his "gosu move" charged and tried to help out.  Without the assisstance of medics Basic's forces are taken down, but they only leave 5 marines standing for ProzerranMark also starts an expansion in the space between Prozerran and Basic.  He fortifies it with cannons expecting to be attacked there.  At the onset of Prozerran's attack, both he and Mark had sent reinforcements heading towards Peon's expansion.  Basic also starts to send his forces to come and help Peon.  

     Mark and Prozerran's reinforcements arrives just before Basic's help comes, but this does not hinder Basic in anyway as "I don't make jokes.  I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers attacks the reinforcements from behind.  Marines stim as Mark and Prozerran's forces turn heel and start attacking Basic's forces.  Basic's tank and M&M have the advantage over Prozerran's M&M, that is until Mark casts the first storms of the game.  The storm destroys some infantry but Peon's newly built mutas quickly finish off the templar.  In a very good display of how to macro Prozerran has another huge force waiting right when this battle is finished.  He agains sets off heading towards Peon's base, but this time he has some wraiths, and these wraiths have cloak.  Right outside of Peon's base Prozerran gets some harrassing from some mutas.  "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." - Mark TwaineHe quickly brings in the cloaked wraiths and also quickly cause the retreat of these mutas.  The wraiths persue and quickly kill all the mutas around, but luckily for Peon he is able to get a spore up, protecting all of his overlords.  During the wraith/muta fight Prozerran also set up a tank and some infantry right outside Peon's base.  Basic sees this and comes to the rescure, killing the tank and getting Prozerran's forces down to 6 marines and some medics.  Basic at this time starts an expansion, his first.  Basic It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincolndoes not like being denied, so he sends 3 tanks and around 10 marines back to Peon's base to clear out Prozerran's remaining forces.  Also at this time Prozerran floats a command center to the upper right expansion.  Basic's forces along with some lings clear out Prozerran's army outside of Peon's natural.  Prozerran sees that Basic keeps on helping Peon so he sends some men to test out Basic's defense.  His first wave does not do to good with the help of some mutas from Peon, but he soon sends a 2nd and even stronger wave and stations them right outside of Basic's base. 

     OK lets look at what everyone is up to.  Mark has gotten a robotics facility and has gotten a probe up to the top left and has started a nexus there along with some protective cannons.  Prozerran has 3 bases going, he is pumping M&M along with wraiths and tanks.  Basic is mining out of 2 bases, but his main is very close to running dry, he is pumping M&M and tanks.  Peon has teched up to hive level and is getting guards right now.

     Back to the action, Prozerran reinforces his forces (Hi I work at the Office of the Redundancy Office) with more M&M, and Mark has come along this time with some zealots and some templar.  They decide the time is right to attack BasicMark's zeals charge in first, taking punishment to allow the other troops to get closer.  As soon as the templars get in range they unless psi storm all over the terran infantry, and thus they instantly perish.  Peon the comes to the rescue, using his guardians to kill Prozerran's forces, then sending in lings to clean up.  Prozerran then sends in his wraiths and snags a few guardians before being chased away by the remaining marines.  This battle was huge, and all that was left was 4 marines and a few medics for Basic and some guardians for Peon.

 

     Man - a creature created at the end of a workweek when God was tired.  -  Mark Twaine

      Hot damn the first major battle of the game is over and it basically was a stalemate.  Mark has come back quite nicely from his earlier stages. I believe in nothing that I cannot touch, kiss, embrace... The rest is only hearsay.   -  Edward Abbey This first break in the action in the game comes at the 30 minute mark.  "I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache."  -  Jack MayberryAll the players are rebuilding their forces.  All the mains are running dry with the exception of Mark's for obvious reasons.  The players are realizing that resources are becoming more and more important.  Basic starts floating a command center to the bottom right, as Mark announces that he is going to go on psi raids.  His first target is Peon, as he is only really mining from 1 place right now.  He executes it perfectly as Peon can not run his drones away quick enough, as most of them perish in the storm.  I then noticeThey say it's never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2 am, I really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed. -  Nathan Hansar that Peon has a large blob of units moving to the upper left, which just happens to be Mark's expansion.  This blob happens to be overlords full of lings accompianed by some mutalisks.  The lings and mutas quickly tear into the cannon defense, while the probes try to fend off the invaders they do not hold up well and are quickly ripped apart.  Prozerran sees this, and brings all his wraiths there, quickly killing the mutas and then the overlords, and then the lings.  Mark takes the loss and moves on 

"And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'"  -  George Burnsto Basic's natural expansion with his templars.  This is his only expansion Basic has right now because Mark dropped a goon on the bottom right island.  The templars land on the cliff above the expansion and rip into the SCVs, killing quite a few of them.  Prozerran then says that he runs out of minerals at his natural expansion, and Mark says to go ahead and take the upper left expansion.  So, Prozerran starts construction of a command center to float there.  As he does this he moves all his forces to the middle, while his partner does the same.  Mark and Prozerran decide that now is the time to attack.  Basic is the target of choice.  Mark charges in his 2/0/2 dragoons and templar storming anything that moves as Prozerran stims up and charges in with his 1/2 (I think) marines.  Due to the psi raids Basic's economy has been hurt badly, so he could not keep up production with Mark or ProzerranBasic's defenses are quickly destroyed as he resigns with a "gg."  With Basic out of the picture they move their forces over to Peon's base.  The masses of forces quickly overrun the few sunkens and guardians defending Peon's base, as he also resigns with a "gg."

      A flashlight is basically a tin can for transporting dead batteries.  -  Walt Mooney

     HHOLY HELL that was a good game, I just hope I did a good job portraying it like it actually happened.  I know this will probably have spelling mistakes in it as this computer does not have spell checker installed.  Thanks to the players for letting me battlereport it, and a bigger thanks going to Prozerran for sticking around and finishing it out.  As always a big thanks goes out to my main man, Skyblazer, thanks for the help with the pics man, you rock.  Also thanks to Wang for helping me observe and stuff.  Here are the final scores.

            BYE BYE!   

This is Testosterone signing off......"To BOLDLY GO......NOWHERE!!"

 


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