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A Bloody Rivalry or Will My Roommate Ever Win?
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Date: 12/13/99 08:12
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 10.0, # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 10
Lifetime Rating for WilliamWC3: 9.0882
Warning: If the fact that I wrote it didn't already tip you off, this is what we call an image heavy report. What this means in essence is that those of us who divine right has blessed with a fast connection to the internet will see some very pretty pictures, while everyone else will see little red x's and neon green text on a white background. Thankyou and as always, have a nice day.

Woohoo, a title jpeg.  You do like these things, right?

Where have I seen this before?

Have you ever been in nohunters at 3:00 in the morning? When the kiddies have gone to bed and only the starcraft masters a couple of bots and some guy named `SiN are left? A man's gotta watch what he says or he may find himself up against the wall with the likes of Zileas, Iced-Tree, Mark4 or WilliamWC3 showing him who the newbie is. I am always in nohunters at 3:00 in the morning. I observe the discussion quietly. Watching the masters as they fight with their words. Then when one of them goes too far as one of them inevitably does, and a challenge is formed, I make my move. Me watchy! Me watchy! Me monkey boy! kakakakakaka

On this particular night several would be fighters had already backed down when a challenge was finally accepted. The contestants were my roomate, ObiwanJebroni, JPaikman, or just Jose, and an unfamiliar face atleast to me, who was going by the name of uncle_a. JPaikman is well known for playing the loser in my last two battle reports. uncle_a on the other hand is best know for being unkown: a real "X" factor, a variable, a wild card a loose... well you get the idea. Would my roomate finally break his losing streak? Or am I just trying to humiliate him? Time will tell.

The map was chosen to be Rivalry, and the map would be covered with so much blood by the time the game was over that it is unlikely either of our contestants will ever return to the land for which they once fought so fiercely. The game is created by uncle_a who is a little confused by my pressence in the game but decides not to ban me. Oh carp! The game is started as soon as I have finished downloading my 17th copy of the observer map for Rivalry, but is just as quickly ended when one of the observers screws up and ends up in a player slot.

Well thats my battle report. How'd you like it? Please don't give me a 2. Ok, actually they just recreated. This time LionLord and I were the only observers and we both managed to stay in the observer slot during the entire 5 second countdown. My god vision allows me to quickly see that I have happened into yet another Zerg v Protoss game. My roomate, JPaikman has drawn the south-west start as a zerg cerebrate. Our new friend, uncle_a has drawn the opposite north-east corner and is a protoss executor. This map kind of favors a compass (north-south) theme over the standard clock (1:00-12:00) theme so I will use it. For those of you who are directionally challenged, east = NY = right = 3:00 and west = LA = left = 9:00. (I'm assuming those of you who don't know north from south are too busy staring at my pretty pictures to notice the text anyway)

pretty pictures, ooh look at the pretty pictures...

You can't be too careful these days...

No, I don't know what he's talking about either. uncle_a assuming his role as the evil 'toss starts out with a pretty conventional 2 gate build order. Meanwhile, JPaikman in the other corner begins with a hatchery at his natural with his 10th drone (after canceling an extractor) and then builds his spawning pool. While we wait for first blood, LionLord keeps me entertained by sharing his opinions with me on just about everything.

Warrior probe Well about the time that Paikman's overlord reaches the south-east corner and finds that there isn't a base there, a probe whom we will call r2d2 in honor of my fellow observer, arrives at his natural and begins attacking the hatchery that is morphing away. After the hatchery finishes, two drones begin creep colonies ignoring the little robotic bastard who I just renamed Johnny 5 (screw my fellow observer).

No disassemble Now the first zealot from uncle_a's base arrives and the zealot harass has begun. As the first zealot runs past the two creep colonies and up the ramp into the main, Johnny 5 who is alive and wishes to stay that way has decided that his work here is done and heads back home. The zealot is greeted by two of JPaikmans four 'lings. After Joe zealot kills one of the zerglings the other regroups with his two companions back at the primary hatchery. Just then a second zealot shows up and the two join forces walking into the base side by side. The three zerglings seeing the tall protoss wariors, wisely decide to run about the base frantically.

harass this The zealots confused by the nonsense they find in the zerg base are not too sure what to attack first. The question is soon answered for them however as four more zerglings are hatched and all seven charge. All of the zerglings target one zealot and he dies quickly leaving five 'lings left to deal with the other one. The remaining zealot does not, however like these odds and retreats to some corner of JPaikmans base. To make matters worse for our zealot harassing friend, a hastely morphed sunken has just finished next to the main hatchery. The zealot does get a little more action when a curious drone gets a little too close. The drone is sliced up and collapses in that way drones collapse when they for some reason don't explode. Five zerglings quickly exact regenge for the death of the curious collapsing drone, and the zealot harass is over.

Also known as whoring; but then again isn't everything

Ha, that's one for the archives... (what?) No sooner does JPaikman hold off the zealot harassment than he decides to expand again. This time he sends a drone to the south-east main and begins a hatchery there. Before this hatchery is even finished, he sacrafices another drone to make his fourth hatchery just above the ramp into his main. Now lets take a peek at the protoss encapment. uncle_a has added another gateway, a cybernetics core, a citadel, an archives, and after finishing the tech to templars, a forge. uncle_a has also managed to amass about twelve zealots. JPaikman's overlord finally finds the protoss base but decides not to go in for fear of dragoons.

luuurrrrker JPaikman, mining from two extractors already, is also climbing the tech tree. He has upgraded his base to lair, built a hyrdalisk deen and researched a little upgrade known as lurker aspect. He has also built a hatchery above the ramp to the south-east main and begun morphing several sunken colonies there. For added defence he has a couple of lurkers at all of his bases and several hydras. As my fellow observer also points out, JPaikman has also constructed three evolutionary bays to upgrade his ground troops as fast as possible. Back in the protoss encampment uncle_a after warping in fifteen zealots and a couple templars, is building a nexus at his natural.

When I get back to base a certain templar is going to get a good psi blade in the ass Now uncle_a who is still unaware of the south-east expansion sends a zealot there to scout. When it encounters a well defended base, uncle_a decides that he will not abide this and sends twelve zealots and three templars to cleans the earth of the foul creep. The zealots take heavy damage from a well placed sunken, a well placed lurker and about 12 hyrdalisks as they try to go up the ramp. A psionic storm takes care of the lurker but not without also damaging several of the zealots. The zealots decide to turn tail and run before they lose too many of their number and the templars sort of glide ever so slowly after.

Get me out of this storm! Foget about the templar just let me get out of here! I comment to LionLord my opinion of the zealots and templars combo, but he tells me that you just have to aim the storms. What do I know? Anyway, we don't have time to argue because a good portion of the hydralisks have decided to give chase to the retreating party in hopes that they will be able to catch and destroy the slow templars. The templars realizing that they are too far from the base and that the zealots, probably still angry about being stormed in the last attack, have gone ahead with out them, bravely turn and face their persuers. Though none of the templars make it back alive, they are able to take several hydralisks with them despite some fancy foot work on the part of the hydras.

While the zealots play silly games the templars discuss affairs of the state.. and how they can't wait to storm the zealots.
During the attack uncle_a warps in five cannons to defend his natural and continues to produce templars and zealots. uncle_a now has 22 zealots and six templars guarding his natural. JPaikman uses the lull to expand twice more constructing two hatcheries at the southern expansion and one at the north-west main. Shortly thereafter uncle_a decides to catches the expanding bug and starts warping a Nexus at the eastern expansion.

Just remember, Blizzard designed this game, not me.

Up until this point in time, the two players have been playing what in Korea they call a MANNER GAME. Little blood has been shed by either side as the executor and cerebrate both attempt to preserve their troops. But now, both of our contestansts are about to find out what determination really is...

As uncle_a sets up his eastern expansion, he gathers all of his troops in the south-east natural for a stike. This time they consist of a couple of control groups of zealots, a half dozen templars and an observer I can't see because uncle hasn't shared I could watch this all day. vision with me yet. A templar attempts to weaken the forces by going in ahead and storming some lurkers. It is unsuccessful however as a sunken rips into and kills the templar after only getting off one ineffective psionic storm.

Maybe he meant to do that? The forces decide to continue with the attack anyway. With an observer to spot lukers for the templars to psionic storm the zealots make it up the ramp and into the base. The lukers however are well spread and the hydralisks are dancing. The zealots find more sunkens near the supply line and some scrambled zerglings. The templars miss and storm their own zealots again. The 24 speed upgraded 1/1 zealot force is finally eroded away to nothing and the templars retreat in shame. Now lets take a gander at the old minimap.

oh... east is on the right... that makes sense now
Quote of the game

Your mandatory singing zealot picture Now if you looked really closely at the minimap and there wasn't a huge teal "X" over the north-west corner, you might see a little blue dot. This blue dot represents a zealot which while wandering around the map happened upon a hatchery. The hatchery in the north-west expansion had finished a while ago but had not been developed yet at all. Three drones were being spawned but it was too late for that. The zealot kills the drones and then goes back to work on the hatchery. Soon there are about seven more zealots beside him and the hatchery goes down quickly.

couldn't have said it better myself uncle_a now expands to the northern expansion evening the number of bases at four a piece. A drone that was spawned from noth-west base and fled with the entrance of the zealots, possibly looking for a new expansion to take, finds the new protoss nexus warping in in the north. JPaikman now decides that these zealots and templars call for a change in strategy.

go Mutalisks!

and don't forget you're manadatory Monty Python. JPaikman has come to the conclusion that all these zealots and templars are chewing up his ground forces pretty badly and decides to morph a spire and build some of those mutalisks we're always hearing so much about. JPaikman uses this new found branch of the tech tree to retake the north-west main. He morphs a hatchery there with twelve mutalisks to cover it. This turns out to be a good move as 12 zealots, rather angry that are still on hatchery killing duty, storm back into the north-west main. They just as quickly storm back out again after seeing the flying foes, and they retreat to the protoss controlled northern expansion.

'ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch' - the thought process of a mutalisk The twelve mutalisks give chase all the way to the northern protoss expansion where they find three cannons and one high templar. One cannon falls almost immediately. The mutalisks spot the templar and target it but he manages to throw a psionic storm over top of the nexus where all of the mutalisks are stacked, before he is vaporized. The mutalisks' numbers drop from twelve to three but eight more show up from another base and the last two cannons fall. Before the mutalisks can go to town on the supply line though the first dragoons of the game come across the bridge from uncle's natural and scare off the battered mutalisks.

zealogoonars move out while LionLord rambles Soon after the mutalisks flee, the hatchery finishes in the north-west corner but no action is taken to develop it. Several zealots, dragoons and templars (or zealogoonars if you're one of those fewest syllables possible kids) head out to take advantage of the undefended hatchery. Twelve zealots, five dragoons and two templars charge into the base prepared for battle but all they find is a deserted hatchery and three little slug like creatures.

JPaikman's attempt to make the eastern expansion infertile by covering it in blood JPaikman's answer to the loss of the north-west expansion once again? Counter! A couple of control groups of zerglings which have just recently gotten the attack rate upgrade after Paikman morphed a queens next and upgraded to hive, pour into uncle's eastern expansion. The expansion is defended by two cannons on each side of the nexus a few zealots and two templars. The templars storm their own zealots and cannons and manage to take out the first wave of zerglings while only losing the zealots and the two southern cannons. A probe immediately begins warping in six cannons to replace the two lost ones, while the two templars, spent on energy, merge to create an archon or a big firebat as it will be periodically be called. The majority of the protoss army is off attacking a naked hatchery in the north-west corner of the map but a few zealots are brought down from uncle's natural to help defend.

whew, almost lost your big firebat The second wave of zerglings hits very quickly after the first, but these zerglings find four zealots and an archon defending the base and are fried quickly. More troops are right behind them though and this time about twelve hyrdalisks are accompanying the zerglings. The zerglings allow the hydralisks to get in several free hits on the archon and it is forced to pull back just before it bursts. The zealots die quickly with out the archon to support them and it looks for a moment that the base will be overun. Just then though the six cannons begin warping in and zealot and dragoon reinforcements from the north-west arrive. The zerg offensive ends.

or archons is fine..

Why did the drones cross the bridge?  because Maynard says so Now several things start happening at once. First the protoss troops push southward out of their eastern expansion and into the south-east natural. As they cross the bridge they are attacked by several more zerglings and the archons shield is weakened again so he pulls back and stays behind. As the troops gather in the south-east natural a small force of hydarlisks come down the ramp from the south-east main and attemp to flank them. After half the hyrdas are stormed though, the other half retreats. At the same time a small air army consisting of two devoures and five guardians is morphed over the water just south-west of the eastern expansion and due north of the south-east natural where the protoss troops have now gathered. While this is going on JPaikman has also morphed a hatchery at the western expansion and transferred several drones there to begin mining.

yeah I sort of figured you were confused

Dodge this One guardian starts pounding away at the archon who was left behind. The archon retreats to the supply line and the guardian advances and begins firing at cannons. It raises one of them before a couple of psi storms can end the threat. At the same time the rest of the guardians have drifted away from the expansion but towards the gathered protoss army. A couple of psi storms later and the air army has disappeared. The 'toss troops gathered in the south-east consist of about twelve zealots, six dragoons and four templars.

The zealots, dragoons and templars gahtered in the south-east along with the last minute addition of the archon pour into JPaikman's southern expansion. Defending the expansion is a couple lurkers, five or six hydralisks, about eight 'lings and three sunkens. As soon as the forces cross the bridge the archon whose shield has never fully recharged explodes. The zealots and dragoons start ripping into sunkens while the templars storm the lurkers. The three sunkens explode and several bloody splotches mark where lurkers once were, but more hydralisks and zerglings come in from the west from JPaikman's natural. The protoss warriors are eventually overwhelmed by the swarm although the templars survive and manage to storm quite a few more hydalisks before a hyrda or two chase them away.

plus 200 bonus points for me

Nothing makes my stomach churn like hydralisk fancy footwork

..pop goes the archon JPaikman is pumping troops out of about ten hatcheries now and as soon as the protoss attack is over he has three control groups of hydras gathered at the south-east natural. He immediately sends these troops up and into the war torn eastern protoss expansion. At the bridge they are met by several zealots and an archon which manage to kill a few hydralisks before they retreat across the bridge. This time though the archon doesn't make it back fast enough and bursts like the overfilled party balloon that he is. Now anyone who has controlled marines, hyrdalisks or dragoons before can tell you that I'll give you one guess what happened to those hydras ranged units seem to have trouble getting through tight places especially when there is something to shoot at on the other side. As the first hydralisks cross the bridge, the others begin bunching up in little square psionic storm size groups. The result it not a pretty one. The twelve surviving hydralisks pull back and burrow in the little patch of land between the south-east natural and the protoss controlled eastern expansion.

The last hydra attempts to take out five zealots by dancing but sadly, it takes two to tango At the exact same time twelve zealots charge into the recently formed zerg western expansion from the north. To greet them is one sunken just across the bridge, six hydralisks gathered near the hatchery and another sunken on the far side of the expansion. The zealots methodically tear through all of this while there numbers are reduced to five. Once the standing defence is taken out the zealots start chopping The return of the curious collapsing drones up drones. It takes JPaikman, whose attention is focused on the far side of the map with his hydra attack, a while to notice this and pull his remaining drones out. As the zealots chase the drones southward, they are greeted by several zerglings which they are able to kill. This does however, convince the zealots to turn back and finish off the hatchery in the yummy western base. Before this can be accomplished though three more hydralisks hatch and the three surrviving drones return to help finish off the zealots. All is peaceful again and JPaikman rebuilds his supply line at the western expansion. Uncle meanwhile looks to even the number of expansions again by warping in a nexus at the north-west main.
Somehow these two managed to mirror each others bases exactly

Zerglings don't sing while they raise structures, only zealots As you can see from the minimap, each player has mined out two bases has two active bases which are quickly running low on minerals and has one new base which has not yet been mined. The nexus has just finished warping in at north-west when ten zerglings curious about protoss activity in that sector scurry up the ramp. They find a pylon at the choke and quickly raise it while defence is being hastily warped in at the nexus. As the zerglings head into the north-west main five cannons and a robotics support bay are just about to warp in. No thats not a typo. I usually don't build my support bays at expansions that look like they are about to be raped but apparently it was all part of uncle_a's master plan.

Its a good thing that support bay was there As the zerglings charge the nexus, the cannons begin warping in one at a time. The ten zerglings go from cannon to cannon always attacking the one closest to being finished and in so doing manage to take out all of them while only losing five of their number. They begin to attack the pylon, the support bay and the nexus each according to his fancy but before the zerglings can do anymore damage, five zealots arrive and after one zealot is lost the zerglings are put down.

Do you beleive in magic?

The amazing reappearing, disappearing hydras To counter the zergling harassment of his new expansion, uncle_a sends twelve zealots into JPaikman's western expansion. The zealots find only minimal defence and immediately begin cutting down drones. Five hydralisks and a couple zerglings come up from the south to try to stop the zealots but they are greatly outnumbered. JPaikman tries to use burrowing tactics to get in some free hits on the zealots but the zealots end up getting in more free hits on the hydralisks. The western expansion falls and the zealots stay there awaiting further instruction.

Wiggley little things aren't they While this was going on, JPaikman had a couple of control groups of zerglings burrowed in the north-east just across the bridge from uncle's natural. When the zealots come into his western base, Paikman responds by unburrowing and attacking the protoss natural. The zerglings however meet several cannons and supperior numbers of troops and are thus unable to inflict more than minimal damage. Now though three little bug like things are seen wiggling their way towards the spot where the zerglings were gathered. Three queens are also spotted en route to this location. Once there are another three control groups of zerglings gathered there as well, some dark swarms and ensnares are thrown down and the zerglings charge. The zerglings manage to raise the mined out mineral natural and the troops defending it at the cost of their lives.

psionic huricane While this is happening though, twelve zealots, six templars and three archons are being sent through the north-west natural and down to the western expansion to rendez-vous with the twelve zealots which are alread there. Now this massive protoss army rolls into the zerg natural. Once there they find several sunkens and lurkers and about twelve hydralisks. The hydralisks seeing the huge army proceed to dance their ass off. As the zealots charge they retreat to the opposite corner of the base allowing the lurkers and sunkens to get in free hits. When the zealots turn their focus to the lurkers and sunkens the hyrdalisks begin fireing on them again. The result of this is that the die you son o* * bitch zealots and archons take out all the lurkers and sunkens but die in the process. All that remains of the protoss army is a couple of zealots and the six templars which had been lagging behind and hadn't gotten off any storms yet. As the hydralisks come out of thier corner to see whats left of the protoss army, the zealots charge giving the templars enough time to storm both the hydras and the zealots into oblivion. All that remains is two hydralisks and a zergling which then proceed to exact revenge on all of the templars.

A plague on both your houses.. Now feeling the pinch for cash, JPaikman expands to the south-east natural. The southern base is now mined out as is the south-east main bringing JPaikman down to only one working expansion. Uncle is also down to only one expansion (in the north-west) as his eastern and northern expansions are both now depleted. To try and make up for his sudden drop in income JPaikman rebuilds a hatchery at the western base and adds a hatchery at each of the two gas mines in the center. JPaikman has also gathered a couple of control groups of zerglings up in the north-east with his spell casters again as some zealots find out when they try to leave their base and are plagued and beaten to death by cracklings. At the same time, queens go into the dragoon free protoss main and start broodling templars and zealots alike.

Nice one Jose Now a templar, an archon and a few more zealots cross the bridge to where the zergings and defilers are gathered. A good portion of the zerglings are fried by one psionic storm and the archon zealot combo easily takes care of the rest. The archon is plagued which of course does a fat lot of good. Just then though hydralisk reinforcements arrive and save the defilers from certain doom. The archon bursts and the plagued templar is chased down and killed by a couple of zerglings.

Special delivery

LionLord tries to put a positive spin on things This battle in the north-east was all just a diversion though. The game was being decided in the south-east at JPaikmans recently taken expansion. Two shuttles delivered their cargo of four fully loaded brand new reavers to behind the supply line of the south-east natural. The drones disappear instantly, and the hatchery doesn't take much longer. The two shuttles are taken down by four scourges, but JPaikman has nothing to kill the reavers with. Ironically, forced to slither back to base on their own, the reavers find and just as quickly destroy the eastern of the two gas mining operations. JPaikmans is now only gathering minerals from his western expansion again. To make maters worse uncle_a has just warped in a nexus at the north-west natural.

Where have we seen this before? The fun never seems to end for JPaikman though as twelve zealots stream into his last operational base. The cerebrate once again has no troops at his western expansion and it looks like it will fall. The drones immediately flee this time and the zealots take out the hatchery. Just as the hatchery is exploding though, six mutalisks arrive and chase them back to the north-west natural. Another hatchery immediately begins morphing at the base while the drones wait to begin mining again.

Warning: These are not large snow balls At the same time, in uncle's natural in the north-east six archons are seen merging. When they are finished they glide across the bridge. As they aproach the six hydralisks and two defilers that are burrowed on the other side, three of them are ensnared by a queen. Unfortunately it makes little difference because the hydras are unburrowed right underneath the archons and are immediately fried. Even as this is going on twelve more zealots find the western gas mining operation. Though a couple of queens manage to ensnare all of them they are still able to beat the three drones mining gas and take out the hatchery.

Coming to a theatre very far from you

ouch, thats going to leave a mark Now a reaver drop is attempted on JPaikmans western expansion. This time though there is only one shuttle and six mutalisks and several hydralisks defending the base are able to take out both the shuttle and its reavers quickly. This is somewhat academic though as 6 archons and twelve zealots move into the JPaikmans undefended natural and after destroying the hatchery there, begin raising his main. The main is currently defended by a sunken and five hydralisks which put on quite a show for us but are unable to stop the protoss troops from destroying the entire tech tree. JPaikman refusing to admit defeat sends all of the troops he has gathered at his western base, including hydras, mutas and 'lings north and into the north-west natural. uncle has adequate defences there though and the zerg forces are beat back.

Everybody dance now Three zealots counter on the zerg offensive, but after wading through the supply line at the west base they fall to the five hydralisks on the other side. At the same time, the archons and zealots which just raise Paikmans main, move into his deserted southern expansion and take out two more hatcheries. About twelve hydralisks and several 'lings now cross the bridge from JPaikmans south-east base and begin dancing to try and slow the progress of the protoss army. The result is the loss of most of the zerg forces and the retreat of 'toss warriors to JPaikmans old natural.

Theres an exploding drone Now another cute package is delivered to the western base in the form of two templars. They are dropped behind the supply line and one of the queens floating overhead ensnares both of them. This doesn't seem to slow them down much as they proceed to psionic storm every last drone. Finally the queens get their act together and the two templars are replaced by four broodlings just in time to save the last drone. Now about twenty-four zealots and three archons enter the western base. JPaikman seeing that the jig is pretty much up concedes the game. Of course he doesn't leave because that just wouldn't be Jose. He still has the south-east main and is long distance mining from the south-east natural with about three drones. This does however afford him the oppurtunity to practice several annoyance tactics. He plagues some cannons at the north-west natural, picks off some high templars with his queens and chases zealots and shuttles around with his four surviving mutalisks.

Are we done yet?

Team 2 is pissed Uncle meanwhile warps in a nexus at the much fought over western expansion, and assembles troops at the south-east natural. This of course puts an end to JPaikmans long distance mining efforts. A huge force of archons and zealots finally push up the ramp. There are several lurkers left defending and all of the protoss troops are ensnared so they take losses but nothing can stop the juggernaut now. Uncle attempts to psi storm a queen and misses and hits his zealots instead to the intense amusement of LionLord. JPaikman has no troops left to stop the raising of his last base and finally the words JPaikman was eliminated flash up on the screen. After the game there was the usual post-game strategy discussion but no rematch was agreed to as this battle report is already twenty pages long. For those of you who can't get enough alternating background reports, fear not. I am working on a best of five series with my roommate and I_Hate_Medics. Oh yeah and if anyone reveals the winner of any of those games I'll kill them.

Post game conversations are always so enlightening

Lessons Learned

1. Zealots sing, zerglings don't. Thats just the way it is.

2. Nothing can stop the big firebats.

3. Ensnare templars, plague archons. Zerg magic at its finest.

4. Ensnared zealots still beat drones

Game Statistics

# of dancing hydralisks: 63

# of Math.random() support bays: 1

# of exploding sunkens: 7


oh... I think I'm still confused about the whole west - east thing..


All of the described events may or may not have happened. The strategies employed may or may not be viable. Use only with the consent of your doctor.

A WC3 production

And now I'm done.

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