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"You guys are all gayer than ORC"

The Four Player FFA!
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Date: 11/27/99 12:11
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 9.6, # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for ::nobody::: 9.0000

Warning: this report is long and has lots of pics…but I promise it's worth your time =)

Many have pondered about the prospect of reporting a four player FFA on a non-ladder map. Some say, "It's impossible." Others say, "You'd be crazy to try it." But then there were those who said, "Nobody can do it." "Oh," I thought, "I guess I will." And that is why I am proud to present a four player FFA on the map: Wheel of War. Ladies and Gentlemen, sit back, relax, and enjoy… =)

Meet the players:
A strange set of circumstances pitted these foes against one another…

Those of you who read my last report will know Nevi as the terran commander who dominated on Rivalry. From just that one game, he immediately gained my respect and admiration as a great player. I actually met up with him on accident when I went to watch a game for a person named SoBe. Nevi was one of SoBe's opponents in the 2v2. Nevi wiped the floor with SoBe and his partner and showed once again why terran owns. After the game, he tagged along with me while I tried to find another game worth BRing. He is the kind of player we all dream of BRing…

Nevi's partner in crime in the game against SoBe was Hellish`glory. Glory didn't dominate like Nevi did, but had a way of punching opponents where it hurt. Every time that SoBe's teammate looked ready to help out, Glory would devastate him… Glory also stayed along after the game, looking for another potential victim…

I met Wallaby in channel nohunters. I wanted to get a FFA started because they make fun reports, but only Glory and Nevi had volunteered. Wallaby had seen my reports and paid me very nice compliments about them, so I asked him to play at the same time he volunteered. =) He wanted to be in my report, and I don't like to let people down…

I also met AP in nohunters, but had already played with him a few times before on previous days. The games usually ended with me getting pummeled by him or me apologizing for sucking as his partner =P. AP is a nice guy, however, and still didn't mind my company. After reading my reports, he wanted me to report him and I happily agreed. The only problem was that he crushed his opponents…Badly. Not good BR material. We both lost connections during a split, and I didn't hear from him till half and hour later when he messaged me in the middle of a 2v2. When I was looking for FFA players, I messaged him to play. He quickly finished off his latest victim and hurried to be the forth player. AP is a great player to BR…funny and a tenacious player.

LionLord was another person I met in nohunters and was my fellow observer for this game. A big thanks goes out to him for helping me to keep an eye on the action =)

Meet the map:

As per my request, the players all agreed to play a "weird" map. No temple. No rivaly. Heck, no ladder even! The choice was Wheel of War. It is my job to get you all acquainted with this lovely map because if I don't you all will be very confused. There are eight inner starting bases and ten outer expansion sites. There is also a large area of small mineral patches in the middle on high ground. Each start location is surrounded by cliffs and has one choke. Each expansion has an open front (facing away from the middle), but cliffs at the back (facing towards the middle). I will refer to the locations not by times (i.e. 12:00), as it may get confusing, but by their actual location . Up/down position first, then left/right, then outer/inner ring. (i.e. upper right inside). As shown by the map, AP has two empty adjacent expansions and starts at the bottom right inside. Glory starts at the lower left inside and also has two empty adjacent expansions. Nevi and Wallaby start next to each other at the upper right inside and upper middle inside, respectively.

*Phew*…sorry to all of you who already knew the map, but not everyone does ;). Now that that's done its time to get to the game…

Chapter 1: Beware of the Wallaby!
All four players go random to start, and as fate would have it, Nevi, Wallaby, and Glory all were the insidious zerg swarm. Only AP received the courageous Terran army. Glory opens with a double hatch, pool, extractor, then expands to the lower left outer expansion. All in all, a rather conservative build. Glory seems to be staying flexible and is preparing for anything. AP goes for the traditional 2 rax, refinery, academy, then factory. AP bunkers down his choke and bunkers the choke at the empty middle right inside position. Obviously he is looking to grab hold of an early resource advantage. Nevi starts his game with a pool, then hatch. He then expands twice to the upper mid outer and upper right outer expansions. Nevi is looking bold on this FFA and wants to be two steps head of everyone. Wallaby has other plans, however, as he is the only one to not work on a quick expansion. His build order consists of a double hatch, followed by a pool, 3rd hatch, extractor, and hydra den. He also works on massing lings and seems to want a quick kill… unfortunately for the hyper-expanding Nevi, Wallaby is right next to him and looking for blood. Wallaby's mass ling technique is put to the test as about four control groups are sent to Nevi's main. The lings are totally unexpected by Nevi and rip his main to pieces…not even a contest. "Like hot butter through a knife" or whatever. During the chaos, Glory sends a small expedition of lings and hydras to Wallaby's main, but freshly hatched lings stop the attack cold. AP expands to the secured middle right inner and lays down some mines, unaware of the conflict. Nevi is badly hurt by the attack, but still has two expansions to recover with. Wallaby, who is now pursuing Mutas by building a spire, discovers Nevi's upper right outer expansion and attacks with a group of mutas. At this point, LionLord comments "that's the end of brown's comeback, I think", but I know Nevi better than that =) He erects some spore colonies and with a few hydras and lurkers stops Wallaby's advance. Wallaby has thus hurt Nevi horribly and is beginning to marco lings and mutas like nobody's business (yup, my business). Wallaby, the only person I hadn't seen play before seems to have the upper hand…

Chapter 2: Learn your AP Taktiks
Nevi, takes the devastation in stride and expands again to the upper left outside for a total of three bases. Wallaby gets VERY ambitious and expands not once, not twice, but THREE times! One to Nevi's old base, one to the upper left inner, and one to the middle left inner, making it so he controls half of the inner ring. So far, AP and Glory have advanced relatively untouched, but AP plans to change this. He moves his troops towards Glory's main base, his heart set on destruction. Four tanks, 2 groups of M&Ms and later some valkries begin the march and arrive at Glory's front door. *Knock* *Knock* We all know the feeling of unwanted relatives and Glory feels no different. Despite the profound arguments of a great deal of mutas and hydras, the tanks and marines insisted on staying and helping out with the cooking. They moved in, and, like most unwanted guests, made a general mess of things… AP took the main with surprising ease and Glory is now reduced to a fledgling expansion. AP has shown he is ready to take any threat…even Wallaby.

Chapter 3: Revenge
Nevi, however, sits with a quiet smile on his face. What is on his mind? Revenge. What drives his actions? Revenge. What burns deep within his soul? The Chili Cheeseburger he had for lunch… oh yea, and Revenge. Nevi's three expansion sites have let him recover quickly and efficiently. Wallaby, who has a very impressive army of lings and mutas at home is trying to get all of his new expansions operational. This is when Nevi shows us all why he is not to be trifled with. A group of three brown lurkers is carefully placed outside of Wallaby's choke…a portion of Nevi's ever increasing hydra army is brought in to lure the lings into the lurker trap. It is executed perfectly, and many lings are slaughtered before the hydras fall. …but Nevi is not finished, oh no. He brings in a larger group of hydras and lings and executes the same task. Lings fight lings, and mutas are brought in to dispatch of the hydras. Like lightning, dark swarm engulfs the hydras and plague infects the mutas. Nevi had gone straight for defilers and damn quickly at that. The defiler's spells turn the tide against Wallaby as the hydras and lurkers are almost invulnerable to his defenses. In an act of excellent play and supreme poise, Nevi had enacted his revenge.

With this turn of events, every player except AP has lost their main. Despite this loss, Nevi is looking as strong as ever. And Wallaby still has three other expansions…right? …right? Uh oh. While Nevi desecrated Wallaby's main, the same terran force that destroyed Glory's main was rounding the wheel, destroying Wallaby's relatively unguarded expansions. The tanks and marines had no problem ripping through the organic matter of the zerg.

During his reign of terror, AP also took the time to enjoy some entertaining overlord hunting. His 3 valkries killed about five Wallabyian overlords and a few straggling Gloryian and Nevian overlords.
Wallaby's expansion is destroyed at Nevi's old main by Nevi himself, and Nevi is cleaning up on Wallaby's main when AP, on his tour of the wheel, also chances upon Wallaby's main. A small fight ensues in which AP kills Nevi's surviving troops, finishes off Wallaby, and then is slaughtered by a fresh batch of Nevi's troops. In the blink of an eye, Wallaby was violently ripped off his perch, kicked a few times, then buried six feet under, where he joined LionLord and Nobody to observe the action.

Chapter 4: Double Teamed
Glory, who took a severe beating by AP, isn't out yet. He was set very far back, but not too far back to have an impact. He expands to the middle left outer, builds a spire, and proceeds to put 2 offensive sunkens in two of Nevi's bases! When they don't succeed, he places more till they do… they aren't too devastating, but surely distract Nevi's attention… and Nevi needs all the concentration he can get, for he and AP meet head on in a clash of Titans. AP's fully upgraded troops halt any advance on Nevi's part, but Nevi's delfilers and constant stream of troops keep the terran war machine at bay. Some of the most incredible battles go back and forth as blood covers the ground. Hydras and marines fall like flies, 3/3 tanks and masses of hydras do battle. Defilers plague and SVs irradate. AP expands to the mid(up a bit) right outer and the mid(down a bit) right outer. (just look at the mini maps =P) and Nevi seems to have few minerals left and expands to the mid left inner spot. As these two battle it out, Glory decides to play the bitch (hey, what can I say? That's what FFAs are about) Unaware if the chaos on the opposite side of the map, Glory brings a group of mutas to Nevi's upper mid outer base to start pounding away. Nevi tells Glory to go attack AP and Glory promptly responds, "I'm afraid of blue." Nevi gives him something to be afraid of by succinctly smashing the small air force. This, however, gives AP just the advantage he needs. With 14 raxes, AP is able to finally overpower Nevi and take Nevi's second main of the game. Ouch. AP moves his troops around, and effectively reduces Nevi to two bases, the mid left inner spot, and a small hatchery at the middle minerals.
To quote Wallaby: "Brown is now burnt toast." The double team had reduced the once resurrected Nevi to shambles…but Nevi wasn't ready to give up…

Chapter 5: Never say die…
Two of the reasons that AP took Nevi's expansions so fast were 1) they were mined out 2) Nevi moved all his troops to his outpost at the mid left inner spot. But Nevi didn't move them to defend… he loads them all into overlords, hen goes cross map and drops them in the back of AP's main. By this time, all the observers are rooting for Nevi. AP is a great guy, but he's like the Evil Empire in this game. Nevi is Luke Skywalker and Glory's kinda like Jabba the Hut. Nevi's huge drop takes AP totally by surprise. AP has a wrecking crew out and about to find the remains of Nevi, but not too much at home. Nevi, the torn and battered warrior who has been brutally beaten by EVERY one of his opponents, is now tearing AP apart from the inside. Glory also has troops en route to AP and they go to work on some outlying buildings and AP's main. AP uses a neat trick though and d-matrix's hydras then follows with irradate. Nevi is now getting a huge roar from the crowd. He infests a command center and starts pumping Infested terrans! Woo hoo! Nevi and Glory both destroy AP's main, and now EVERY main base has been destroyed! What a game! This, of course, is the making of an epic comeback. Nevi starts to attack AP's expansion at about 2:00 on the outer (see how times are hard to use…) and after some gruesome combat, destroys this base by sneaking in the back. AP's wrecking crew is still on the prowl though and effectively shuts down Glory's chances by not giving him an expansion to mine from. He also reduces Nevi to the base in the middle. All three players are just smacking each other around, blood everywhere, infested terrans (which actually worked well), defilers… CHAOS!! AP is also down to two fledgling expansions…who will win?? Nevi?? AP??

Chapter 6: One must survive…
Unfortunately for our hero Nevi, he just didn't have the sheer volume of troops that AP did… he fights bravely and with honor, to the very last hydra, but when AP discovers his expansion, it is only a matter of one drop before "Never Say Die" Nevi must give up. Wow. What a game.

Appendix: Then it gets silly…
Purely for your enjoyment, I have included what happened after the game. We had so much fun that no one really wanted to leave. AP nuked some stuff, then got the idea to "blow his marines." =P What he means, of course, is that he wants to nuke them. All of them. I give you something sick and twisted:

Then Glory decided to chase a medic with a drone. The medic declared, "Rape!", blinded the drone, and then had her two boyfriends toast it:

Why this game was so damn good:

Lessons Learned:
1. Nevigrofn is soooo awesome to BR
2. Wallabystein is soooo awesome to BR
3. aP_TaKtIkS is soooo awesome to BR
4. Hellish`Glory is soooo awesome to BR
5. Never EVER say die!
6. Infested Terrans are the bomb! Literally!
7. Terrans still rule.
8. New maps are fun
9. I can't describe complicated map positions, but you are all smart, so it shouldn't be a problem
10. A four player FFA is bad for my mental health

A special thanks to all the players! If you all want to be BRed again, it is my pleasure. LionLord, thanks for helping me out, I needed it. Thanks to the 150 marines who sacrificed their lives so I could get that nuke shot. Thanks to you all for reading and COMMENTING! =) I love comments!

Winner = AP
Most fun to watch = Nevi
Best fall from power = Wallaby
Best person who always attacks just when you don't want him to = Glory =)

no marines were really harmed in the making of this BR. We did really bake that pervert drone though

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