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Microsoft VS Macintosh
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Date: 11/08/99 02:11
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 8.8, # of Ratings: 5, Max: 9, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for WilliamWC3: 9.0882
Yes, I know. Theme BR's, how "done". Well what I lack in originality I make up for in redundancy. Besides one of the players name was C|osed. Oh yes and if you haven't figured it out already (by the little "2% complete" in the status bar) this BR has lots of pics so hang tight, its worth it. Anyway, without further delay I present you with

Purple Zerg
VS Macintosh
Yellow Protoss
Dark Temple

The game begins innocently enough with the beast like Bill Gates AKA Satan being the greedy little bastard that he is, expanding to his natural with his 10th drone. Meanwhile in the protoss encampment Macintosh is doing the typical dumb Mac thing and starting the game off with a pylon, a forge and two cannons. Though these cannons are able to scare off the MS flying spy their presence alone is all the recon the fledgling corporation needs. Bill orders up another hatchery, and being the tech weenie that he is begins upgrading the base.

Now as the Lair nears completion I notice no hyrdalisk den in the now busy zerg base so I naturally assume that our good friend, Mr. Gates will mutalisk rush the inferior operating system and quickly eliminate it. However the Microsoft genius has no such intention. When the Lair finishes two structures are began in the Seattle based infestation. One is a hyrdalisk den and the other a queens nest. Now I think to myself hmmm.... Late lurkers and cracklings? He hasn't built a single zergling yet. In fact he hasn't built anything other than drones and overlords. What does this ecentric CEO have in mind? Only time would tell. Macintosh's plans are however quite apparent. After constructing two early cannons, the computer manufacturer has built three gateways and is clearly going for the late-ass-zealot-rush popularized by Big Game Hunters players.

Now as about 8 zealots finally make their way to the MS headquarters I come to a startling conclusion; Gates still doesn't have any troops. His queens nest is done but the base is not upgrading. The free larvae in the main have been turned into eggs and 3 drones in the natural as if sensing a disturbance in the force begin morphing creeps just before the zealots burst onto the scene. The creeps are not able to convert to sunken colonies in time to save the expansion and the eggs in the main burst open revealing MS's first military unit (if you can call it that) to be the speedy little spell caster herself, the queen. He wastes no time researching spells either because by the time the zealots have finished off the expansion and been run around the main by Bill's supply line a few times the first queen is ready to broodling. Now at this time Gates starts using that brain he's so famous for and makes some zerglings to help eliminate the threat. With the help of some new sunkens, broodling and the zealots' extreme interest in the hydralisk den the zerglings are able to take out the remaining zealots.

At this time Macintosh decides that those queens are too much for his zealots and expands to the 3:00 main while he sits back and tries to think of an appropriate counter to the queen rush. Microsoft however quickly sends his queens on the offensive and broodlings what zealots Macintosh has left finding, as they scout, the 3:00 expansion. Bill is content to let that stay for a short while as he retakes his natural and begins the upgrade to hive. After turning 2 of the zealots at the expansion to broodlings, Bill does try to send 10 zerglings in but unfortunately the number of cannons had just doubled as Macintosh anticipated the attack and the 'lings are unable to do serious damage.

Meanwhile, Macintosh deciding that the correct counter to queens is cannons and corsairs adds several cannons to both his main and his expansion and adds 2 stargates to his main. Unfotunately the price of all those cannons is finally beginning to take a toll as he is only able to build a few corsairs before production halts. As corsairs roam through the Microsoft Headquarters chasing speed upgaded overlords, the adrenaline upgrade for Bill's zerglings finishes and 2 control groups of zerglings who had had a bit too much caffeine roll through Macintosh's 8 cannons at his 3:00 expansion.

Gates has meanwhile been able to get up spores and hyrdas at both his main and his natural to chase away the pesky corsairs. Macintosh seeing the uselessness of his corsairs reinitiates production of zealots, takes his natural, and makes one all purpose scout. This scout proceeds to do just that as it, accompanied by one corsair, is sent off to the bottom right island where it finds a new expansion starting. Unfortunately the scout is killed by a morphing spore colony and the corsair is forced to flee.

Seeing that he will have to accept the island expansion, Macintosh mirrors MS's move and takes the top-left island while whining to the US Justice Department that Windows is copyright infringement. MS, however, tipped off by the ever present queens, sees the island expansion, top-left and loads up 3 overlords full of hydras. These overlords unfortunately choose to run right pass the corsairs though one of them is parasited and are therfore forced to unload their contents several times before reaching the island. Though the overlords are killed they are able to land most of the 12 hydras on the island which proves to be more than enough to take out the defenseless expansion.

Macintosh badly needing an expansion is now forced to take his mineral. In the mean time the stargates have been put to good use with the production of two "sleek" looking imacs which we'll refer to as carriers or blimps. These carriers attempt to stall the destruction of the island expansion but are chased away by the hydras. They are able to hold off a small attack on the new mineral natural, however. Atleast that is until a defiler shows up...
Well you can see what happened there. One blimp is shot down before the storm can take its toll. By the way Macintosh has recruited a small army of lawers we'll call them templars or psionic storm son's of bitches, to combat the advancing swarm.

Now at this time a parasited scouting corsair notices a new expansion at the 9:00 main. Several zealots and dragoons are sent out to try to stem the tide of this growing infestation. Unforunately they are ensnared and met by several hydras at the top of the ramp. They try to flee but due to the strange green gook impeding their motion few survive. Pleased with this sucess, doh! Bill, in an attempt to corner the market, expands again, this time to the 3:00 main. Macintosh now makes another attempt to regain the top-left island with his remaining carrier and one shuttle with a pair of templars. Unfortunately due to some good micro on the part of Microsoft the templar psi storms his own blimp into oblivion.

Now Macintosh, seeing creep springing up all over the place and only having his two naturals himself, decides that the reason for his failure is that his stategies aren't quite bizarre enough. He then quickly formulates the arbiter zealot attack. 12 zealots and one arbiter are dispatched to take care of 3:00 expansion. The arbiter is chased off by 3 spores but the zealots make short work of the otherwise defenseless base. Reinforcements soon arrive, however and the zealots are taken out while the arbiter is parasited and later killed. Though Macintosh grieves for the loss of his apple G2 arbiter he is not discouraged and soon has another one ready to go. In the mean time Bill has sent zerglings under cover of dark swarm at the cannons of Mac's mineral natural. Unfortunately for the now giant software company, dark templars make quick work of the zerglings who lack overlord support.

Now for Macintosh's second arbiter-zealot attack. Mac sends his new arbiter down across the middle of the map towards Gates' main. Unfortunately it is seen by a passing overlord and still more unfortunately Bill has a couple of cards up his sleeve. Not only is ie4.0 an integrated part of Windows 98 but he has also built 3 control groups of mutalisks. One of these groups immediately begins attacking the arbiter but before it can be killed it manages to doom 20 zealots to a similair fate by recalling them into Bill's base. The zealots succeed wonderfully in running around the base like headless chickens but that is about all before the mutalisks are able to eliminate the threat.

After HQ is secure the mutalisks gather over the top-left island where several hydras are still stranded. On the way the mutalisks encounter a parasited corsair which has been scouting for both sides for most of the game now, and kill it. As a side note on this battle an innocent kakaru is damaged by the corsair's splash damage. Also the greedy monopolist has retaken his 3:00 expansion and built hatcheries at the 3:00 natural, the 9:00 natural and the 9:00 mineral. Mac now attempts to drop a templar and kill the mutas gathered at the island but suceeds only in losing his templar. Macintosh, now clearly upset by the situation sends 8 zealots off at the 9:00 mineral which is not being mined or showing any activity. The zealots manage to kill off the inactive hatchery before mutalisks kill them off.

Now in the upper-left island 2 of the control groups of mutalisks are morphed into guardians. These guardians are spread out well but Macintosh has not been idle. He now has about 11 corsairs and 8 psionic storm sons of bitches. Most of the guardians are eliminated while the remaining mutalisks morph frantically into devourers. These come out just in time to save the last few guardians and eliminate the corsair threat for good. Now still more zerglings are sent at the now mined out mineral natural. Unfortunately those dark templars are still there and the overlords still aren't. Now Bill gets smart and finally brings an overlord, dark swarms and takes out the mineral with cracklings.

MS now owns the map and its just a matter of breaking into the templar / cannon defence of the stubborn Macintosh. Gates tries dark swarming the cannons in the natural and sending in a few 'lings but they are quickly torn to pieces by a superior number of zealots. Now Bill begins morphing of all things, lurkers in the middle of the map where he has gathered an assortment of troops. He dark swarms again and goes in and burrows. Unfortunately they all get psi stormed by the ever present templar. He is, though, able to reduce the number of cannons to two and with a follow up group of hydras he takes out yet another empty base. Next he tries dark swarming the ramp and sending his veteran hydras up it to see whats going on. All they find is more templars and more of that damn lightening however.

But now Gates has finally got it. He'll integrate his operating system, office suite and web browser all in one. It will be so massive he'll call it utralisk '99 and it will laugh in the face of psi storm. (bear with me here) Three ultralisks thunder up the ramp folowed by an assortment of just about every troop zerg can make. The templars finally run out of energy and the base is overrun. Macintosh sticks around until his last pylon is gone like the stubborn bastard he is. The US Government claims Gates has a monopoly and in response Bill says the government is too strong and proceeds to break it up into several small pieces.

Lessons Learned

- Forge before gateway, they'll attack in late May.

- Always Storm the Swarm

- Queen rush OWNS!

- IMacs look cool but are dumb

- Bill Gates is the Devil

- I'd just like to say that again; Bill Gates is the Devil

Game Statistics

# of TurboChobo's: 0
# of Tank Pushes: 0
# of Hydra Drops: 1

Editing note: Background picture is missing, black used as stopgap measure. nen.gif picture is also missing.

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