|"Me watchy! Me watchy! Me monkey boy! kakakakakaka"|
|Date: ||10/29/99 04:10|
|Game Type: ||Starcraft|
|Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6|
Lifetime Rating for WilliamWC3: 9.0882
Note: I don't know how long these pictures will take to
load as I have a t3, but if you've got a modem be prepared to
wait a while.
hilltop to hilltop, from channel to channel and most
definitely from the Rubelmann study lounge the cry of 2v2
Dire!!! can be heard any day of the week. On this paticular
day it was heard in channel NoHunters where I, ever listening
for a descent game to do a battle report on, jumped on the
opportunity and quickly joined the "private" game. Luck was
upon me as for once there were four people in the game wanting
to play instead of the usual 7 wanting to observe.
Unfortunately at this time Luck must have been paged by
someone about to buy a winning lotto ticket because the game I
was about to witness was to contain bullshit the likes of
which I've never seen.
But on to the game...
|Goofball #1: Zerg
|Goofball #2: Terran
#1 and Goofball #2 is of course not their real loggins but I
can't remember which was which and I don't think they really
want their names attached to this battle report anyway.
(besides they never shared vision or ally chatted me)
#1: Mutalisk Rush
#2: M&M Drop / Mad Wraiths / still not sure
you can build that requires an armory
The Muta RushWell the muta rush is on and as
each observes the other's duplication of his strategy neither
is veered from his course. And while the Terrans stuggle to
remember just what it is Terran does on an island map DrunkerSailor notices that his zerg
opponent has taken the lead in the do-or-die race.
teammate ~LifeIsPeachy~ suggests a
change in strategy but DrunkerSailor who is already committed
opts instead to throw up 3 spores to hold the mutas back while
he catches up. When Goofball #1's
Spire finishes he opts instead of the standard 6 mutas for 4
mutas and 4 scourges. I could think of a few legitamate
reasons why Goofball #1 built
scourges, but I fear the best explanation is one to many taps
to the 's' key. Anyway 2 of the scourges did kill an overlord
before the other 2 died to spores. Meanwhile the 3 remaining
mutas pretended like they were going to kill a spore colony
for a while before they realized they weren't fooling anyone
and flew away. By this time DrunkerSailor's Spire had finished and
the muta rush was over. In the mean time the two Terrans had
each expaned (by dropping an scv, not the old cc float) to one
of the small islands and each built 2 starports with an addon
a piece giving the map a kind of eerie symetry.
Dropping Like a GoofballThe next part of
this battle royal consisted of dropping various troops(twice
zergling, once M&M) on DrunkerSailor's main accompanied by a
small group of Goofball #1's
mutalisks. Unfortunately the mutalisks seemed a tad bit battle
shy and tended to pull back at the sight of spores, leaving
the ground forces to be slaughtered by enemy mutas.
While this was going on both zerg
expanded to small islands and the terrans choice of air unit
became apparent Goofball #2 going
for cloaked wraiths while ~LifeIsPeachy~ went for
Air SuperiorityThe first major air battle
began when Goofball #2 found DrunkerSailor's first expansion.
Unfortunately the cocky wraith pilots were unable to elude the
everpresent zerg overlords and their cloaking proved to be
little use against the small air beasts.
this point in time Goofball #1 got
greedy and took a second expansion (to the right big island)
before his first had even finished. Scouting mutalisks and
valkyries noticed both expansions and in full scale panic mode
both teamates sent all of their air units to the center of the
map. Countering this, team Goofball did the exact same thing.
What ensued was pure chaos. Huge armies of mutalisks began
fighting while a few cloaked wraiths and a very confused
looking blue valkyie seemed to
disapear in green bouncing spores. As the battle continued 4
white valkyries came from the
south-east and began pumping the entire battle field full of
white H.A.L.O missiles which shredded both friend and foe
Hey are those mutas red or brown?
I don't know looks zerg to me.
Heh heh heh.
Needless to say, when it was over all that was left was
the four valkyries. Red rebuilt his mutalisks quickly and took
out both of browns attempted expansions. Brown in response morphed his remaining 6
mutalisks into devourers and began production of hydralisks.
At the same time blue switched from
wraiths to battlecruisers. Red and
white meanwhile took the time to
expand again, one to each of the big islands.
The End GameAs the end draws near ~LifeIsPeachy~ prepares for a massive
tank and goliath drop while DrunkerSailor starts morphing guardians
in the middle of the map. Meanwhile team Goofball is not
sitting idle. Goofball #1 has
prepared a hyrda / zergling drop to be accompanied by his 6
devourers and Goofball #2's 6
battle cruisers. The attack is aimed at white's main.
Fortunately for our non-goofball team
white is able to load up his tanks
and goliaths and get them back to his main in time. A huge
battle ensues but ultimately the BC's and devourers are owned
by the range upgraded goliaths while tanks and guardians
eliminate any ground threat. This battle ends the game in
favor of the non-goofballs.
The next screen shot did not occur in
this game but wouldn't it have been great if it had.
Lesson's LearnedDevourers look like an
oversized water baloon filled with blood when they
Valkyies rule because they say "Don't keep me
Game statistics# of TurboChobo's: 0
Tank pushes: 0
# of Hydra drops: 1
Quote of the Day"No escape for you, monkey
Note: Background picture is missing, black used as stopgap