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"It's sad when you execute such a slimy, cheesy tactic like a gully push and it gets taken out by one DT :-(."
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2v2 Dire!!!
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Date: 10/29/99 04:10
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 6.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for WilliamWC3: 9.0882

Note: I don't know how long these pictures will take to load as I have a t3, but if you've got a modem be prepared to wait a while.

From hilltop to hilltop, from channel to channel and most definitely from the Rubelmann study lounge the cry of 2v2 Dire!!! can be heard any day of the week. On this paticular day it was heard in channel NoHunters where I, ever listening for a descent game to do a battle report on, jumped on the opportunity and quickly joined the "private" game. Luck was upon me as for once there were four people in the game wanting to play instead of the usual 7 wanting to observe. Unfortunately at this time Luck must have been paged by someone about to buy a winning lotto ticket because the game I was about to witness was to contain bullshit the likes of which I've never seen.

But on to the game...
Goofball #1: Zerg islands?? DrunkerSailor: Zerg
Goofball #2: Terran ~LifeIsPeachy~: Terran(chosen)

Goofball #1 and Goofball #2 is of course not their real loggins but I can't remember which was which and I don't think they really want their names attached to this battle report anyway. (besides they never shared vision or ally chatted me)


Goofball #1: Mutalisk Rush
Goofball #2: M&M Drop / Mad Wraiths / still not sure what
DrunkerSailor: Mutalisk Rush
~LifeIsPeachy~: Anything you can build that requires an armory

The Muta Rush

Well the muta rush is on and as each observes the other's duplication of his strategy neither is veered from his course. And while the Terrans stuggle to remember just what it is Terran does on an island map DrunkerSailor notices that his zerg opponent has taken the lead in the do-or-die race.

His teammate ~LifeIsPeachy~ suggests a change in strategy but DrunkerSailor who is already committed opts instead to throw up 3 spores to hold the mutas back while he catches up. When Goofball #1's Spire finishes he opts instead of the standard 6 mutas for 4 mutas and 4 scourges. I could think of a few legitamate reasons why Goofball #1 built scourges, but I fear the best explanation is one to many taps to the 's' key. Anyway 2 of the scourges did kill an overlord before the other 2 died to spores. Meanwhile the 3 remaining mutas pretended like they were going to kill a spore colony for a while before they realized they weren't fooling anyone and flew away. By this time DrunkerSailor's Spire had finished and the muta rush was over. In the mean time the two Terrans had each expaned (by dropping an scv, not the old cc float) to one of the small islands and each built 2 starports with an addon a piece giving the map a kind of eerie symetry.

Dropping Like a Goofball

The next part of this battle royal consisted of dropping various troops(twice zergling, once M&M) on DrunkerSailor's main accompanied by a small group of Goofball #1's mutalisks. Unfortunately the mutalisks seemed a tad bit battle shy and tended to pull back at the sight of spores, leaving the ground forces to be slaughtered by enemy mutas.

While this was going on both zerg expanded to small islands and the terrans choice of air unit became apparent Goofball #2 going for cloaked wraiths while ~LifeIsPeachy~ went for valkyries.

Air Superiority

The first major air battle began when Goofball #2 found DrunkerSailor's first expansion. Unfortunately the cocky wraith pilots were unable to elude the everpresent zerg overlords and their cloaking proved to be little use against the small air beasts.

Now at this point in time Goofball #1 got greedy and took a second expansion (to the right big island) before his first had even finished. Scouting mutalisks and valkyries noticed both expansions and in full scale panic mode both teamates sent all of their air units to the center of the map. Countering this, team Goofball did the exact same thing. What ensued was pure chaos. Huge armies of mutalisks began fighting while a few cloaked wraiths and a very confused looking blue valkyie seemed to disapear in green bouncing spores. As the battle continued 4 white valkyries came from the south-east and began pumping the entire battle field full of white H.A.L.O missiles which shredded both friend and foe alike.

   Hey are those mutas red or brown?
   I don't know looks zerg to me.
   Heh heh heh.
Needless to say, when it was over all that was left was the four valkyries. Red rebuilt his mutalisks quickly and took out both of browns attempted expansions. Brown in response morphed his remaining 6 mutalisks into devourers and began production of hydralisks. At the same time blue switched from wraiths to battlecruisers. Red and white meanwhile took the time to expand again, one to each of the big islands.

The End Game

As the end draws near ~LifeIsPeachy~ prepares for a massive tank and goliath drop while DrunkerSailor starts morphing guardians in the middle of the map. Meanwhile team Goofball is not sitting idle. Goofball #1 has prepared a hyrda / zergling drop to be accompanied by his 6 devourers and Goofball #2's 6 battle cruisers. The attack is aimed at white's main.

Fortunately for our non-goofball team white is able to load up his tanks and goliaths and get them back to his main in time. A huge battle ensues but ultimately the BC's and devourers are owned by the range upgraded goliaths while tanks and guardians eliminate any ground threat. This battle ends the game in favor of the non-goofballs.

The next screen shot did not occur in this game but wouldn't it have been great if it had.

Lesson's Learned

Devourers look like an oversized water baloon filled with blood when they die.
Valkyies rule because they say "Don't keep me vaiting."

Game statistics

# of TurboChobo's: 0
# of Tank pushes: 0
# of Hydra drops: 1

Quote of the Day

"No escape for you, monkey boy."

Editing Note: Background picture is missing, black used as stopgap measure.

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