No there isn't really any porn here. But I knew that
would get you to read this, you pervert.
If you do not like long load times due to pictures,
then leave now! This BR is pic heavy. I advise you go do
something else while the loading takes place, such as learning the
banjo, mugging old women, or preparing the complaint that you'll put
in the comments section.
This game started
as a good number of my games start, that is, me yelling out "me
watchy! me watchy!" in channel nohunters after someone announces
they're making a game and hoping that the host picks a map with
enough slots. Luckily Shiny`Arbiter made
the game on an observer map just for me. Well don't I feel
the battle begins the players discuss their course of action. [IceBerG] chooses infantry with support from
factory units, Shiny`Arbiter makes the
conservative choice of zealots to goons, Orcmaniac decides on goons with temps, and
for an Xpool rush then tech.
-pitt-'s Xpool (7 or 8 I
believe) hits Shiny`Arbiter, forcing
Shiny, to run his probes away until the
first zealot pops out. After the psiblade wielding one comes to the
rescue the probes return to work and the zerglings are forced to
make hit and runs on buildings, but never get anything. Once 2 more
warriors are warped in the lings retreat, but their damage was done
in lost mining time.
a little while Shiny`Arbiter had gotten a
small force of zealots, [IceBerG] had
some marines and had an academy up, -pitt- had teched to Lair and had a hydra den
up, while Orcmaniac had put up a cyber
core and was starting on goons. Shiny
suggested a double attack on the zerg, and soon 9 marines and 5
zealots were on their way to meet at the enemy's choke. On the way
to -pitt- the infantry unknowingly
alerted Orc to the assault by blowing a
scouting probe out of existence. 6 zealots are now deployed to save
the zerg, but they can only come as fast as unupgraded zealots walk,
and that's not too fast.
As you can see, the zealots and marines mowed down the few defenses,
and reduced the drone count to six before they were put down by
Orcmaniac's zealots. What you cant see
however, is that as soon as the offending units died, 2 lurkers
hatched. -pitt-, no doubt wanting
revenge, immediately sent the two bad boys after Shiny`Arbiter. The fact that -pitt- had his phasers set to lurker was no
secret now, and detection was going up all around. Unfortunately for
Shiny, his cannon was only halfway warped
when the shambling monsters, umm, shambled into his base. The teal
spiders planted themselves in the ground beside the unfinished
detector and killed it the second it warped in. Shiny`Arbiter wisely retreated all his probes
and started a new nexus at his natural. Shiny is later able to kill the lurkers with
help from [IceBerG]'s trusty comsat and
retake his main.
Orcmaniac takes -pitt-'s advice sends a group of goons and
zealots to protect his relatively bare main. [IceBerG] also takes his partners advice, and
sends a band of marines to attack -pitt-.
However on the way there Orc's goons had
a short talk with the marines and convinced them to turn back. Orcmaniac, obviously feeling like a big fat
wuss for being the only one not to attack, takes 12 goons and 3
zealots to attack [IceBerG].
The dragoon horde knocks through [IceBerG]'s choke defense, and starts to trash
on the terran base before being repelled by newly produced marines
this, -pitt- is still not impressed with
his odds of winning, and disconnects like the bitch he is (he later
gave the totally lame excuse that his comp locked up, yeah right
pitt, whatever =) ). Orcmaniac realizes
that he needs more resources to compete with 2 adversaries, and
grabs his natural.
evidently the kind of guy that likes to kick a man while he's down,
and unloads 2 dropships chock full of m&m on Orcmaniac. Here's something else that's pretty
and shiny to distract you from my lack of literary ability.
For those of you who are blind and having
this BR read to you by your assistant, who BTW is only there because
it will look good on her resume, the goons were able to overpower
the marines with few losses due to better positioning. Shiny`Arbiter has amassed a sizeable goon
force, and camped it out in front of Orcmaniac. Orcmaniac, however, has an even bigger goon
army, and sends it over for a visit at Shiny's main. The opposing goon encampment was
on the way, but Orc trampled it with
sheer numbers. Then mechanical military made its way to Shiny's choke, managing to level some pylons
and cannons before fresh dragoons were warped in to save Shiny's sorry ass.
Meanwhile [IceBerG] was launching an "attack" on Orc, if you can even consider it that. He used
the coveted Line Dance tactic, enabling his 20 marines and 6
vultures to lose horrible to 4 goons and 2 cannons, killing only one
cannon. Ice, you should be
After a little bit of time passes Orcmaniac's dragoon force has backed by
templars, and was massive enough to take out either enemy. However
instead of showing off his shiny new army he opted to take his
mineral only expansion. This gave Shiny`Arbiter enough time to finish his templar
archives and get a DT . Orc, without any
observers or cannons at his new expan was forced to cancel and
retreat to his natural's cannons. Meanwhile he hastily started up a
robotics facility for observers.
got observers to spot the ruthless DTs, and was ready to rock.
Unfortunately for him, [IceBerG] and Shiny`Arbiter unloaded 2 tanks and 2 templars
on his natural's cliff. All of the probes were killed in storms
before any could retreat, and the tanks assured that none would be
coming back. An enraged Orcmaniac
commanded all his troops to move out. They soon meet up with Shiny's almost identical army, and settle
things the old fashioned way.
The brave and injured orange goons are
able to get halfway to Shiny`Arbiter's
base before new pansy blue goons come to hit them. Orc's cybernetic gladiators make a strategic
retreat to his natural.
Once there they are able to hold off the invaders thanks with help
from cannons and a good number of psi storms. Right after this Orc takes a brand spankin' new shuttle and
drops 2 goons next to the tanks on his ledge. The few probes at his
main stop playing hopscotch and come back to mine the natural.
However before Orcmaniac could get back
in shape economically, [IceBerG] attacked
his natural with m&m. All of the templar were drained from
storming Shiny, and the marines tore
through all the goons and almost the nexus before being put down by
[IceBerG] obviously realized that he had
conducted an attack without Shiny`Arbiter
that wasn't a complete disaster, so he set out to reclaim his
reputation with a nuke drop. Amazingly, Ice managed to launch the nuke, and show the
red dot, yet get the ghost killed by a cannon before the voice could
say "Nuclear Launch Detected." Ice loaded
up the four extra ghosts and left with his tail between his legs.
Shiny`Arbiter takes a few
goons to do what [IceBerG] had repeatedly
failed at, destroying Orcmaniac's
expansion. They succeed, but while coming up the ramp are stopped by
2 archons, and only get 1 before being killed. Eventually tanks and
more goons come, finally bringing an end to Orc.
GG to all involved, except -pitt- =)
1. The Ice Whoop team can only win by lag
hacking their opponents.
2. Umm, that's it.
This has been a