Welcome, welcome all. You've managed to wander into this here writing thingy. T'is my 'short BR'. While working on my main Battlereport-project, I got bored. Bored, as in, *boooorred*!. I get distracted very easily. So, what better than a quick in-between project?

Now, of course I didn't want this to take too long, not more than a week to be precise. So, I set myself a few deadlines, a few barriers. The most obvious would be 'No more than one week'. Some others like: "No more than 4 pages of notes", "No more than watching the replay twice. Once for notes, the second time for screenshots", "No more than 3 pages of actual text", might be less apparant. All of these though show a great change from my first report. I must have watched that particular replay at least twenty times, and I filled half a notebook with incoherent scribbling.

Worry not, my main project goes on unabated. But now, it is time for an interlude, so, here t'is. I present you with: "Interlude".

Before I even get started, though, I must apologize. The game is quite a good one, with some impressive and talented playing. It is however, a bit short. Fourteen minutes and twenty-one seconds, to be exact. So, with that in mind, lay back, grab a brewski, a cup of coffee, a glass of Mouton Rothschilde '75, or whatever suits you right now, and (hopefully) enjoy this lighthearted and leasurely tale.

I don't know too much about the players. Actually, that's an understatement. I know less about the players than I do about secret, Peruvian puff-adder mating rituals. All I can provide is their name, race and corner. But I will do so with style!

Fighting, roaring, battling in this twisted region,
Is the red, icky icky, Undead warlord Gz.Dead.
In charge of the malicious, conquering zombie legion,
He calls the grasslands of the South-West main his stead.

BB_DVD, the proud, but arrogant and commanding Night Elf,
Also joins the fray, expecting nothing but the best of the best.
With his green coat-of-arms he disdainfully plants himself,
And, with an overly confident sniff, makes his home in the North-West.

With two such giants in the field,
Who can say what this fight will yield?
Read on, read on, if you must find out,
Who it is who will joyfully shout:
"I r0x0r3d y0uza n00b, 00ber1337!"
And who it is, who death shall greet.

This short clash starts with each player in their own corner, preparing for the inevitable. Fate has willed it so. The Gods have decided. Karma, neh?. But, I stray. Dead started of this game with an early crypt, followed by one of those shiny Altars. His Night-Elf enemy, Dvd, built an Altar, a Well, and his hero, forgoing the Ancient of War for some early teching capability.

  • 3 -Crypt
  • 4 -Altar
  • 5 -Ziggurat
  • 6 -Ziggurat
  • 6 -Death Knight
  • 6 -Tomb of Relics
  • 6 -Dread Lord
  • 5 -Altar
  • 6 -Well
  • 10 -Warden
  • 12 -Well
  • 13 -Well
  • 13 -Ancient of War
  • 13 -Tree of Ages

Now, before you cry "ha><><0r", in regard to the Undead build-order, know that he did not build two heroes before his Halls of the Dead. Instead, after his scouting Acolyte discovered the 'Ancient of War'-less Night Elf base, he canceled his Death Knight and prepared to counter a bout of Elven HeroCraft. This quick change of hero would prove to be pivotal in upcoming encounters.

Dvd, who indeed focused on a quick tech build with hero-stalling, pumped a quick Warden out, and ,after dumping her single skillpoint in the Shadow Strike skill, headed the feisty, fractious, feline fighter south. After some rigorous wisp-scouting, with the multiple lumber-wisps distributed quite evenly over the totality of the map, Dvd knew exactly where he had to go.

Dead had, in the last minute or so, finished his dreadlord and a gaggle of ghouls. Expecting the worst though, he also sent out an Acolyte to commision a Forest Troll Shadow Priest from a nearby Mercenary Camp. T'was this Acolyte though, that one of Dvd's watchful wisps did discover. And as the newly created Warden arrived on the scene, the covert cleric had to pull some 'Top Gun'esque evasive maneuvers, leading the determined Warden right into the hands of her would be assasins.

During the time Dead was maneuvering his Shadow Priest, he also gathered up a small force consisting of his Dreadlord and five ghouls. After a few prancy pirouettes he headed his mercenary back towards his main force. As the Warden appeared through the fog, Dead played his ace, and cast the sneaky sleep spell on the now slumbering maiden. Quickly following up this tricksy trap with a quick and neat surround, the unsympathetic undead tried to rob the young woman of her life. Although the first surround failed, and Dvd was able to run his Warden away for a bit, a second Sleep and surround forced the Night Elf to use his precious portal scroll, all the while bringing forth a stream of obscenities so vile, that if I had included them here, your screen would've melted.

Not tinged in the slightest by his Warden's near-death experience, Dvd sent his headstrong hero back down south. With the knowledge that his fast-tech wasn't going to pan out as he had wished, he upped his unit production with a second Ancient of War, and layed the foundations for a Hunter's Hall.

Dead aimed to exploit his unit advantage, and pushed on due north, intent on crushing his enemy, now Dvd was at his weakest. Near the North-West main's ramp, they suddenly encountered the enemy Warden again. Grabbing his chance, Dead tipped the scales even more in his favor by sleep/surrounding the Night Elf hero. Dvd tried to escape, but all was in vain, and as the Warden collapsed on the dirty floor, the oderous undead continued on.

As Dead entered the Night Elf base, he was greeted by an imposing site. A massive army awaited him, a huge defensive force. Recovering from his near-fatal heart-attack at the sight of the unequivocal defeat that most surely awaited him now, he pondered on however he was going to micro his Dreadlord and five ghouls to victory against an Elven force consisting of one archer? Suddenly though, Dead got a reality check, and ignored the petty pest, instead focusing his attention on the Ancient of War still under construction.

After a few seconds of Ghoul-abuse, Dvd was forced to sell his Aow. In return though, he gained precious seconds, and in those few seconds his other Aow had managed to finish a second Archer. 'All is not lost', the Night Elf realized, pondering the philosophy of victory and defeat. Soon, though, he was interrupted, as Dead now sought to destroy the Archers. Dvd found himself fervently microing his belated but benignant bowwomen. The fact that Dead had also enlisted the aid of a Forest Troll Beserker didn't make things easier, though.

Running his two Archers round and round his base, refilling their health via his Wells, Dvd managed to create some time for himself, time he desperately needed. After only a short while, his Warden again walked the earth and joined the brawl. Soon a Ghoul fell, and another Archer popped out of the AoW. Using some 'hide'-micro Dvd was able to keep his Archers alive, and although the Undead used Dust of Appearance, he would just run his Archers a bit, and hide them yet again.

The Night Elf retreated his army slightly to the East, and Dead took this oppurtunity to attack one of the Moon Wells. Quickly though the Elven army returned, strenghtened by a Tavern-baught Sea Witch. When this army attacked from the east, while a newly created Huntress attacked from the west, the battle's balance shifted. Now it was Dead who was fervently microing his hero and two ghouls to stay alive. In the end though, he managed to escape and head home.

In this period of battle, Dead built his Halls of the Dead and started training a Death Knight. In the quick pause, Dvd also made good use of his time. He started construction on both an Ancient of Wonders and an Ancient of Wind. When his Huntress count reached four, the Night Elf left his base, bent on revenge, and headed south. His army ran into the undead horde just north of Dead's base.

Glaives clashed with paws, snarls ripped through the air, and the soft snoozing of a sleeping Sea Witch made the horror nearly unbearable. Dead's force, consisting of a Death Knight, a Dreadlord, and nine ghouls ignored the huntresses, and instead focused their not-so-loving attention on the now slumbering and snoring Naga. After a quick but brutal sleep/surround the poor lass falls. To add some much needed insult to this already stinging injury, Dead used his Dreadlord's Wand of Necromancy on the decaying corpse. Dvd decided he didn't want to risk his second hero, and pulled his army back home.

T'is now that both sides started some major creeping. Dead slaughtered some Gnolls and Ogres, while Dvd settled for a couple of gnolls, followed by an expansion-mine. As a quick, final top-off, the Undead also wiped out a group of innocents lounging next to a nearby Mercenary Camp.

Judging from the dastardly light in Dead's eyes at the time, he must've felt very mean and sneaky and backhanded, as a plan crystalized in his rotting skull. Softly muttering to himself about death and fate, he sent his army into the Night Elf base. Dvd however, was not there to stop him, for he was off somewhere, creeping.

Marching right past all the main buildings, Dead sent his army into the inner core, the inner sanctum of Dvd's base. The Night Elf realized something was up, but had to finish the creeps, or have them harry his rear as he ran back. Cursing this cruel and tongue-twistingly terrible turn of events, all he could do was repair his Tree of Eternity as he finished off the last of the creeps.

As the undead hordes pounded and pounded upon the ancient tree's tough bark, the Night Elf army made a historical "Long March" and arrived on the scene, intent on saving their ancestral tree. Their efforts though, were too few and too late, and the tree fell. The Night Elves screamed of vengeance, and in a near bloodrage, bore down upon the Undead forces.

Dead's undead Dreadlord though, smiled as arrogantly and treacherously as only conceited Dreadlords can, and activated a Portal scroll, taking his entire army back home, leaving the now noxiously nettled Night Elves behind.

As if this wasn't enough though, twenty seconds after the Night Elf started construction on a new Tree, in waltzed the undead, yet again, and in true Guerilla style, pulled nearly the same routine, this time destroying an Ancient of Wind, before pulling out quickly.

Still though, Dvd refused to give up. "This game is youurss.. It is, your precciioouusss" he muttered to himself, and went of to the west, to find some creeps to destroy. In the west though, Dead too, was looking for some innocent throat to slit. And what ensued?.. Well, I'll let the last collage explain for me.

It is time to say goodbye now, so, I bid you adieu. This BR was written in a day, I did the title pic yesterday, as well as the notes (which took three hours). I'll gladly hear any useful criticism, but no "too short" comments please. I know it's short, it's meant to be short, it's a *short* BR. But, here follows the last collage, and then the reading will end, and the commenting will start.