|hmmm, i'm going to have to masturbate now|
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LuckieNewbie (the reformed LuckyNewbie:P) has been a denizen of BR.com for many years now. He's written many great reports, the best of which (in my opinion)
can be found right here.. In any case, he's a great guy, and I had a lot of fun doing this
mattzarella: alright mr. rater
mattz: full name?
LuckyNewbie: Daniel Anthony Al**** [edit: removed by Lucky so he doesn't get stalked]
mattz: Al****.. what nationality is that?
Lucky: south of rio grande
Lucky: dad's mexican
mattz: and where do you live now?
Lucky: sunny Colorado
Lucky: Denver area
mattz: does that high altitude ever get to your BW skills?
mattz: i'd say it does
Lucky: lived here all my life, i'm used to it
mattz: how many years has that been?
Lucky: i turned 19 last june, so that makes me old
mattz: officially :]
mattz: started college yet?
Lucky: i can get drafted, yay!
Lucky: yessir, second year starting this fall
mattz: awesome.. where at?
Lucky: the great Metropolitan State College of Denver
Lucky: we have a good basketball team, but that's about it
mattz: on any scholarships we should know about?
Lucky: the good news is that it's one step above community college, so everybody is a dumbass
Lucky: yeah, tuition is free for eight semesters
Lucky: so i'm kinda rich for a college kid
mattz: i'd say so
mattz: guess you did more than make a duct tape prom suit ;-)
Lucky: actually less, i just wrote an essay and completed a form
Lucky: they give out a lot of them at my school
mattz: it's gotta be the air up there
Lucky: although it's state funded,
Lucky: which means it might not be free this year, or next year
Lucky: by the way, don't live in Colorado
mattz: why's that?
Lucky: all the money went into making the major interstates two lanes
Lucky: government is stupid
mattz: that's pretty true everywhere
mattz: but enough about you, let's talk some more about you
mattz: you've just been made a new rater at br.com
mattz: how does it feel to be bestowed this wonderful honor?
Lucky: that's the one word i would use to describe it, w00t
Lucky: but this is an interview, so i'll be wordy
mattz: go for it :D
Lucky: i came to this site about four years ago
Lucky: being a rater is obviously the highest honor possible
Lucky: and I've really done the best
Lucky: I could
Lucky: where was i going with this
mattz: i don't know, but you've released some awesome reports in your time
mattz: that may have helped
Lucky: i guess it's just something to show for wasting my youth on a silly game
Lucky: because if you can't play, battlereport it!
mattz: exactly =]
Lucky: it was certainly a different world of starcraft
Lucky: i mean, comp stomps on big game hunters is something different
mattz: ~nohunters is definitely a unique place
mattz: to say the very very least
Lucky: first report i read was something with satanscookies, I found this out recently
mattz:: how'd you come across it?
Lucky: well I made two reports he stared in
Lucky: he said he was in another one
Lucky: which was ironically the first one i read... really good too
Lucky: when I read any battlereport, it just opens up my mind really
Lucky: hearing about how people put tanks on cliffs and stuff
Lucky: especially if I've never done it before
Lucky: no cliffs in bgh!
Lucky: the one he thought ended in a draw though
Lucky: that doesn't happen a lot
mattz: not in BW it doesn't
mattz: i'll be sure to find it and insert it sagely like i know what i'm talking about
Lucky: offline images, so it's forever lost
mattz: anyway, do you play any other online games?
Lucky: other games, yes
Lucky: a *lot* of other games actually
Lucky: i'm making it one of my goals to report these new ones
mattz: that's always good
mattz: what games are those?
Lucky: game's i've reported include empire earth and star wars galaxies
Lucky: ones i want to are homeworld 2 (just to make dag orgasm with delight)
Lucky: splinter cell, because it's so freaking sweet
Lucky: and medieval: total war
Lucky: I actually have a report like 1/3 finished a couple of years ago
Lucky: on that game
Lucky: still have it...
Lucky: but i play a lot of other stuff i might report
mattz: i implore you to finish it, or the masses will read this and revolt
Lucky: pfffft, i knew we shouldn't have let the masses learn to read
Lucky: in order to report a game though I have to understand how it actually works
Lucky: i mean there has to be strategy
Lucky: so a lot of great fps games are pretty much ruled out
mattz: sadly :-(
Lucky: Call of Duty, Half-Life mods, the Battlefield series come to mind
Lucky: but there's still plenty to write about
mattz: we'd all still like to see you turn out a report pretty soon
mattz: and by soon, i mean immediately
mattz: or else
Lucky: just have to find the time to do it, right matty?
mattz: well, there was that FFA we played, that was an hour
mattz: and those UMS games
mattz: another few hours
mattz: yeah, and those times you sat AFK
mattz: another hour or so
Lucky: there is never a shortage of things to report
mattz: but there's always a shortage of effort
Lucky: hey, i was busy rating! this stuff ain't easy you know
mattz: yeah yeah, you've done a good job so far
Lucky: you're just saying that because I gave you a 10
Lucky: that was a 9.25 i gave you!
mattz: don't spend that 100 bucks all in one place
Lucky: it's still in the mail...
mattz: yeah, uh.. i'll look into that
mattz: what do you think about JV's newfound rejuvenation of the site?
Lucky: it's cool, my tuition is free, remember?
Lucky: I'd say if he was my age I'd take it with a grain of salt
Lucky: i mean i can't even finish a battlereport
Lucky: but since he's not my age
Lucky: i think it's the greatest thing
Lucky: after all, that's how I got to be rater!
mattz: gotta love him for that
Lucky: gotta fellate dagomar for recommending me
mattz: JV is amazingly dedicated to this though, it should be great
Lucky: even after he tricked me into visiting tubgirl.com (shudders).
Lucky: I think the greatest thing JV's doing is making it a community effort
mattz: yeah, it's awesome to see so many people come together for a cause
Lucky: there's an incredible amount of talented people at this site
mattz: you're right about that
Lucky: I really hate to use that word (community), but that's really what it is
mattz: i don't know JSP from CIA, so i'm clueless
Lucky: that's the reason I still play brood wars with you guys, even after discovering dozens of funner games
mattz: i speak for everyone when i say
mattz: we play wc3 now
Lucky: heroes are for sissies
mattz: not i!
mattz: i still use firebats, that's how far back in vanilla i am
mattz: but that's beside the point
Lucky: give me my dropship and siege tank and I shall give you peace from 12 o'clock natural to 9 o'clock mineral only!
Lucky: ... altitude ...
mattz: yeah, it's that air again
Lucky: warcraft never caught on for me
Lucky: probably the random match maker
mattz: are you going to play WoW?
Lucky: I think I was the only ~nohunter in the FT beta to have a relatively even number of wins and losses
Lucky: you would think that after reading my report about Galaxies, but I think I'm not going to get very involved in it
Lucky: I mean, it's a blizzard thing so I'll have to buy it
Lucky: but MMORPG's just arne't my thing
mattz: i know what you mean
Lucky: i bought a copy of planetside, installed it, and never played it
Lucky: I mean literally never played it
mattz: damn rich kids
Lucky: biggest waste of money since that time I payed for college...
mattz: you know, there are poor people in ethiopia who still play Baldur's Gate 1
mattz: you should be ashamed
Lucky: I've played Galaxies, EVE Online, and bought Planetside
Lucky: MMORPG's are bad
Lucky: those ethiopians should be buying brood wars
Lucky: you have no sympathy from me, starvin marvin
Lucky: once i do get that check in the mail
mattz: it must be the snail mail
Lucky: I intend on getting dag a copy of freelancer so he'll finally start playing it with me
Lucky: which, by the way, is another game I might report
mattz: Freelancer does look pretty cool
mattz: and you should!
Lucky: btw, any report on a non brood war game automatically gets brownie points
Lucky: unless it's by Some_God
Lucky: in which case...
mattz: i was going to say unless it sucks the big one
mattz: but they're synonymous
Lucky: oh yeah my name really isn't Daniel Anthony Al****
Lucky: so don't track me down SG
Lucky: oh god dammit
mattz: we'll just call you Daniel Anthony Goldberg
Lucky: we'll cut a deal i suppose
mattz: you're Whoopi's grandson
mattz: just keep it quiet
Lucky: you know what, i'll just deal with SG's vengence then having to be related to whoopi
mattz: fair enough
mattz: so let's learn a little
mattz: about the personal Daniel
mattz: what's your favorite TV show?
Lucky: Family Guy probably, but I think Seinfeld has to be one of the best
mattz: yay a seinfeld fan :D
Lucky: one of those shows you have to be at a draftable age to fully appreciate
Lucky: or older, i suppose
mattz: it's too bad SNL is so Some_God-like now
mattz: and not good as it used to be
Lucky: that's just SNL's way
Lucky: Remember when Ebersol was in charge?
mattz: they should stop putting their casting director on PCP
mattz: i do indeed
Lucky: it's always relied on political humor
mattz: it's gone slowly down from political humor to toilet humor :-(
Lucky: by the way, political humor can be a good thing in a battlereport
Lucky: better than your references to the male member
Lucky: no offence
mattz: yeah don't write too much about wangs, you tend to get lower scores
mattz: do you have any other tips for soon-to-be reporters?
Lucky: a battlereport can only be as good as it's writer
Lucky: and writing skills mostly get better through reading the work of others
Lucky: so, in short, read the work of the legends
Lucky: YRM, Mark4, Drefsab, etc...
Lucky: oh yes, and your first report won't get a 10
Lucky: I guarentee it
Lucky: so don't mope about it when it doesn't
Lucky: (I think that's pretty much natural)
mattz: a "10-or-bust" attitude is a bad one to have
Lucky: also, i recommend starting out with brood wars
Lucky: replay feature is a great, great thing
Lucky: i remember the masochistic way of just screen shotting everything
Lucky: then trying to remember what happened
Lucky: I'm pretty sure every game before the 1.08 patch was just an analysis of the screen shots
Lucky: um... run it through a spell checker too
mattz: that can never hurt :-)
Lucky: although that's almost a given
Lucky: I don't think I've ever done it yet... so...
Lucky: Don't do what I did
Lucky: oh yes
Lucky: and write a lot of reports
Lucky: keep me busy
mattz: from the looks of it, you'll be busy enough soon
mattz: and it's a choice between writing a new report or trying not to lose your legs in a dreaded car accident
mattz: if you know what i mean
Lucky: actually i'm not quite sure I... oh... OOHHH
Lucky: erm i'll get started
mattz: very very good
Lucky: my writing skills are only good so long as I have use of my hands
Lucky: god dammit why'd I give my name
mattz: it's alright Mr. Goldberg
Lucky: can i swear?
mattz: it's up to The Boss
Lucky: hi johnny
Lucky: good luck with the whole site thing
mattz: johnny says
mattz: well i don't know
mattz: what he would say
Lucky: "interview someone else"
mattz: well it's gotten quite long enough
mattz: any closing remarks?
Lucky: I was asked on my first job interview for any comment's I'd like to add
Lucky: and since then I've realized that unless I had planned on being asked that, just shut up
Lucky: so no I don't believe so
Lucky: (thinks hard)
mattz: (you want to say something cool about me here)
Lucky: more than you know it
Lucky: minus the "about me" part though
Lucky: oh well
Lucky: i'll settle for that
mattz: that burn will never go away
Lucky: in closing, mattz is cool!
mattz: thanks for the interview, Daniel
Lucky: thanks for interviewing me, Matty