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"all vs badme"
-mattzarella




#1 ~CattleBruiser~[166922]
va-fw01.fgm.com
Your writing could use some proofreading and editing, even just a single pass of a spellchecker after your finish typing. Some of it comes off as a spur-of-the-moment text message -- this would be fine if you were telling your friends about a game, but posting on BR.com gives you a chance to make it into a readable, enjoyable story.

As for the game, I felt like you could have focused on some of the battles in more depth. It seemed like you hit the build order, and then suddenly everyone was flying around with max supply. Talk about the skirmishes that were interesting, and do more than "we fought and I won". What makes this game worthwhile to read about? Decide upon that and then write about it.

Most people today are not going to read past the first couple paragraphs if they don't think you've invested as much time in writing the report as they will have to spend reading it. Keep improving!
#2 [166924]
CN1-DSL-74-83-44-44.fuse.net
fuck yes someone new

take CB's advice but don't give up
#3 [166942]
CPE00222d189e8d-CM00222d189e89.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com
I have swooped in remorselessly. Good to see a new report, but 2.
#4 .Praetor[166967]
c-67-164-209-28.hsd1.ca.comcast.net
A text-only report on an FFA?! I wanted to like it.

Here's the problem with the writing from my persective. You describe the units involved, but not why the fights were important. Emotion, tension and action (by players, not units) are key to interesting writing.

So instead of zealots and stalkers fight thors and tanks, you say Player Y orders the zealots to rush in, supported by stalkers, desperately hoping to reach the tanks in time. Emotion? Check-desperation. Tension? Check-outcome not revealed until next sentence, after involvment by the reader has been built. Action? Check - a player issuing orders (not just dying units).

This is helped by a close game.
#5 [167041]
udp254607uds.hawaiiantel.net
This report is sub-silver but 1 is reserved for spam so 2-3 are my choices. If you had done a better job with the mid-game or such it would've been a minimum of 3 but...

As was said before you went into build orders which we really didn't need, a minor battle, then jumped into late game.

I'll give it a 2 as well.



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