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"Elitie cannot even begin to outwit me, so I try to take it easy on him"
-AtlaS\"/




#1 mattzarella[165220]
19.181.204.68.cfl.res.rr.com
please bear with the two odd characters in the text (those E shapes). they aren't visible in my text file and I really have no idea how they got there. . . sorry!

also, please please please go back and read the first three parts, or at least skim them so that you have some faint knowledge of events passed. this will be jarring and confusing if you read this now, since the last part was released almost a year ago.

thanks for reading!
#2 [165222]
dblt-67-158-145-112.gtcom.net
Approved!
#3 PeaceableGhost[165223]
71-37-212-89.phnx.qwest.net
So, I'm commenting... well done, although I think I really ought to go reread the old ones. Just to catch up and stuff.
#4 Psyonic_Reaver[165224]
208.100.134.18
I didn't have to re-read. I remember these chapters very well when Mattz was writing them. Good to see you back in action. I loved chapter 4 by the way. Describing Dick in his battle with the archers. I loved Final Fantasy Tactics and I'm glad you are doing such a good job re-telling the tale.
#5 mattzarella[165228]
19.181.204.68.cfl.res.rr.com
i'm surprised that you remember it so well... I certainly didn't :-) well, not enough to continue writing about it without being afraid of inconsistence with the plot/characters
#6 Raider[165230]
connect20.salliemae.com
Interesting...will read when get home.
#7 Decay[165240]
24-119-247-61.cpe.cableone.net
Yay, I'm a badass! I'm really glad you're doing these again. Looking forward to more. Soon. Like, tomorrow.
#8 [165243]
c-24-8-254-222.hsd1.co.comcast.net
Mattz, legendary breaker of br.com's CSS
#9 micro[165251]
cpe-65-185-126-149.woh.res.rr.com
doh. i haven't read this yet, but i think mattz forgot to use the br to link to the html file. or is that not possible anymore?

reading now.
#10 micro[165252]
cpe-65-185-126-149.woh.res.rr.com
sweet report. back when you were writing these, i was playing through final fantasy tactics with the intention of finally beating it. after you stopped writing i sold the game and now i regret it t_t
#11 Psyonic_Reaver[165253]
bc120111.bendcable.com
I still got my copy. Raar! =p
#12 mattzarella[165276]
19.181.204.68.cfl.res.rr.com
i usually do just use the report to link to the html file, but i saw an option to "link to html file" and i figured that i'd use the stuff that JV implements. i think i would rather it span the whole screen, though, and not cut off on the right side... next time i'll go back to linking instead.

faults with the story? comments? suggestions? please feel free
#13 [165298]
user-0ce2kp9.cable.mindspring.com
i hope i got my name code right

things i didn't like go first: the dialogue format, firstly. was there a reason you didn't stick with conventional dialogue? it really leapt out as odd to me and the italics didn't help. your use of expletives was kind of jarring to the style; it seemed like you were going for a more epic feel and they kind of broke that. which is not to say i don't like cursing, it just didn't feel right in the style.

there was some writing issues that i can go back over and do a point by point if you'd like. i don't think it was a general style thing, but a couple sentences/phrases/whatevers that seemed awkward when i was reading them instead. it was a little bothersome but it didn't ruin the work.

i did like it as a whole though. you kept the story moving well enough that the issues i had weren't debilitating "WHAT WAS HE THINKING OH GOD I CAN'T GO ON," so i'd say overall it was well written and presented. i'm going to stick an 8 on this and say that i'd throw it somewhere between a 7.5 and maybe a low 8 if we had tenths.
#14 des-rater[165299]
user-0ce2kp9.cable.mindspring.com
preceding comment was me and lucky didn't rate because he's a slacker (and i managed to guess his name code thing instead of mine accidently)



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