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"Your still gay Lewis"

#1 [158885]
I'm currently debating between a 1 and a 2. However, I'd like others to mock you for your stupidity, and I really think this deserves a 1.5, so I'll rate you up to a 2. OMG GW
#2 Convider[158887]
"now over 2 da match of warhammer 40k ( if ya didn't figure it out by now or you dnt loik da game...WATTA HELL R U DOIN"G HERE, MATE?!?!)."

English please.
#3 Woah[158888]
#4 Asmodues[158889]
Best battle report ever. 10.0

If I was a rater, I would set this as the standard for all battle reports. You were verbose and eloquent, but not TOO verbose.

I am in awe of your writing style. Please, make more fast! I'm going through withdrawel.

Keep up the good work!
#5 micro[158890]
the report section was starting to look so nice.
#6 TheDOOMer[158892]
With the quality reports flowing in lately, stuff like this makes my head hurt. I am an avid WHFB and WH40k player, and I frankly feel like this killed my soul a little.

Stuff for you to work on:

1. If your doing something on WarHammer, you should explain the rules at least basically.

2. You didn't give even a basic background on the sides being played, and the background is what makes warhammer games enjoyable IMHO!

3. Next time try and number your turns. It will give more of a focus on the action of that moment and not in the generality of the entire game. (I hope that made sense)

4. Please, try not to abrieviate(sp?)! I think Fire Warrior is not that hard to type, and speaking of typing, get some practice alright.

5. Finally, I hope this doesent discourage you from reporting. This is hopefully some helpful stuff ive written down. And remember folks (Raters and poor a like) text isn't bad. (HTML helps though...)
#7 Fangrim[158893]
Just to reiterate, and sry to double post:

I was NOT joking. This report can seriously be Gold with revision and more work. I'm serious.

To Asmodeus and Dagomar:
#8 TheDOOMer[158894]
darn, you beat me to it Fangrim...
#9 Fangrim[158895]
lol, and you beat me to my second post :/

The major difference between this report and other two's and one's is that effort was actually put in it. Not many 1's go for humor.
#10 wakiki[158896]

hjgdjahgksa. gdywief - fjhvgw - dhgakwdgqvdgqhvd.

pd? kiughdwyg! kfgewfhgwhef.

ugfehwf; zzzzzzzzzzzp.

#11 snowyday[158897]
Never should it be the case that a single post took me longer to read than the entire report.

Again, never should it be the case that (by post 12) someone's post is solely regarding another post, rather than the report itself.

Normally, the post length is directly proportional to the report quality, with a few exceptions (it's obviously asymptotic, because no one would want to write enough to deal with some of the godly reports that have come out lately).

You, Fangrim, have broken all of those "unwritten rules" and so, I feel, should be congratulated. Or mentioned, or something.
#12 Lithium[158898]
This is the most hardcore comments section ever. <3. 2.5. It was an "attempt."
#13 [158899]
Fangrim, as a rater who actually rates reports, this report would NOT get a gold, even if it had pictures and the language was much improved. Are you kidding? A few paragraphs would not make me grant this a gold. If you want to see what a truly fine report looks like, check out NewbEye's report. And if you want to see what amazing brs have gotten 7s at this site I advise you simply to scroll down the page.

I blew off this guy because he obviously did not give a shit, relatively speaking. He didn't do the simple things like looking at other reports, like bothering to spell properly, or use decent diction. There's a huge difference between a first report from someone who shows potential, and someone who quite clearly doesn't. At this point MidnightGladius shows potential as a writer - check out the difference between his first submission and this. In fact, check out any good reporter's first report, and compare it with this. Then you'll see the difference between potential and a jackass.

That said, it's possible this guy will put out a second report that MIGHT be decent, and then I will say that, based on that report, he "shows potential." But as is I don't see it. I see why you might say it, but the telltale signs aren't there for me. However, the site and those who run it really appreciate encouraging comments like the one you made. I don't mean to bash you at all with this longass comment, just pointing out the way I see things.
#14 Dice[158900]
that report was a desgrace to all things 40K it was emmbaresing to the Tau and the Space Marines never post a piece of crap like that ever again
#15 Turbo_Noob[158901]
and sindri said that, ICE BURN
#16 [158902]
Horrible sense of humor and awful grammar.
#17 NewbEye[158904]

To Fangrim's comments.
#18 SCN[158905]
this is probably the best report ive ever read
#19 Convider[158906]
8870 Characters in the comment section
3830 Characters in the report
#20 SnK-Arcbound[158907]
And masturbating kills kittens. Since you don't seem to have any other skillz, please kill kittens.
#21 Dibbler[158908]
I rate this a 10. Fangrim's comment that is.
The report is nice in so far that I have found no fault with the pics provided. Also it was short and easy to skip.

AS for Dagomar: "And if you want to see what amazing brs have gotten 7s at this site I advise you simply to scroll down the page."

Tnx for mentioning my report :)
#22 MidnightGladius[158909]
Fangrim's comment was way better than the report. :eek:

And please don't read my first was total crap.
#23 maareek[158913]
Dibb, we have missed you so. <3

Although it's obvious that by good reporters first reports he means mine because, lets face it, what other reporters are there that can come close to me (I mean, besides all the rest of them and stuff) in talent?

And I agree with SCN, this is probably the best report I've ever read while he was sober.
#24 SCN [Drunk][158914]
btw dagomar youre a fucking cock. dont be such a jerkass, wtf.. are you on your fucking period?

first of all, when naming good reports... name ours. ours rapes the shit out of 90% of the reports on this site. no need to be timid about it. this report was fucking stupid and serves as a perfect example as a typical newbie report.

also, i am wasted. that is all.
#25 Timid[158915]
It seemed to me that the author tried to make this as illegible as possible.

I was surprised that it received a 2 untill I read comment #1
#26 [158917]
maybe you're on aim so I can call you gay some more
#27 [158918]
nope, dodger
#28 Crazster[158919]
Now my report showed potential. I wrote 3 paragraphs and got a 5 :D
#29 RabidMurloc[158925]
Reading this report made me want to vomit. It was sad. So very, very sad. The whole point of a battle report is to tell people about what happened during a (prefrably gaming) event in a humorous and fun-to-read way. Let's say Dagomar (for all intensive purposes) was attacked by big rabid badger. Now let's say he wants to tell his friends at the bar about it. Dagomar goes into the bar, and people ask, "what the bloody hell happened to you?" and he says, "Well I was walkin' down the road, just minding my own buisness, when this huge freaking badger with foam coming out of its mouth jumps out of the woods and attacks me! I barely got out alive!" Now let's say the author of this report is attacked by a big rabid badger (we can only dream) and wants to tell his friends at the bar about it. He says, when asked, "I GOT RAPED BY THIS HUGE FUGLY BADGER THINGY!!!" therefore lowering his worth as a human being. The point is, you want to make you report fun to read. And readable. Compared to this I would give sindri a 10.

go to hell, -RabidMurloc.

P.S. Fangrim, even taking the time to read the whole report is blasphemy. The Space Marines are going to arrest you now. Toodles.
#30 dodopout[158926]
hehe...i'm not one to be insulting when it comes to writing, but...
RabidMurlock kinda sums it up >.<
#31 Dice[158927]
damn strate
#32 rifledude[158928]
that was such !
#33 rifledude[158929]
#34 Redemption6[158934]
Why do you guys even bother commenting and making hate posts against a report clearly designed to attract them.
#35 [158936]
Because we're awesome.
#36 VisMaior[158937]
Also, its fun to read, fun to write, and why disappoint a clearly mentally handicapped guy?
#37 Some_God[159049]
Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
#38 Niek[159072]
I don't think that people have the right to crack a writer's first report until posted a decent report themselves first.

I agree with Fangrim that this report can be Gold if you stick to the tips in the reporting guide that you can find on this site..

Hm. I would like to be a rater. If only I had an internet connection at home.

I rate this comment a 1
#39 Dice[159084]
same here how do you become one?
#40 [159093]
By writing a shitload of 9-10 battlereports, being an active member of this community, demonstrating you know how to rate brs and passing a test :p
#41 [159094]
or by just being gay like LuckyNewbie
#42 micro[159136]
i apply for the "gay" option.
#43 Lithium[159159]
Is there a Jewish clause that let's me become one?
#44 Dice[159263]
"I would give sindri a 10."

I just noticed that I feel so special now :p
#45 Redemption6[159300]

This report sucked, it wouldn't be a gold unless you literally revamped the whole damn thing, in which case it's a new report. Anyone has the right to critisize something, you don't have the right to tell other people they cant critisize stuff. I'm sure you critisize movies, sports players, whatever but you haven't made your own good movie, or played professional sports, or anything. It doesn't mean you can't tell something good from something bad. Trust me, the lack of a home internet connection is not the biggest obstacle in your way of becoming a rater.
#46 maareek[159358]
Easy gold...well if you count changing it in every fashion and having someone else write it as easy.

Honestly, I got like 3 lines into this and came to the comments section, laughing.

They should give me the rater test, BRING IT ON MARKFOUR!!
#47 Fangrim[159359]
If you are going to criticize something, read the whole thing. Does it make sense to call a book horrible if you don't like the first paragraph? A teacher doesn't grade a research paper an F if he/she sees a type in the first sentence.
It probably wouldn't change your opinion in the slightest, but when you say a report sucks, at least read it first.
#48 dustbiter[159361]
It is time for another 40k report!

Like this one time my friend's Tau allied with some guy's Dark Eldar fought two dude's Chaos.

My friend was like a rules-know-it-all but the others just want to get on with the game. Terrain was very complicated so no terrain was used. Actually a little was used. One guy fished out a gothic ruin wall and a hill.

Like deployment rules were very complicated so Chaos deployed all their stuff, then Tau and Dark Eldar deploy their stuff. LOL

So the Tau was blowing squads like Chaos Corn Berserkers up all over the place lololol!!1

Then there was the other Chaos player with his squads in 3 Rhinos. Rhinos are APC(Armoured People Car)s in 40k, not those 4 legged animals with horns that are hunted for their horns, it would be silly to have marines inside rhinos(the animal-type) lolol!!1

Oh yeah and the three Rhinos were side by side in front of the table edge, the hill in front of the middle one. First turn Tau guns and missiles crippled the two rhinos at the side so the middle one was stuck lol, and that Chaos player spent his time rolling dice each turn trying to get a 6 to repair his rhinos lol(he didn't). If your Rhino(APC) cannot move you can try to repair each turn, success on a 6 on one-six-sided-cube-with-dots-on-it-to-represent-1-to-6.

So Tau was like kicking Chaos around as they had no cover because there was like no terrain except for the hill and the wall. The wall was not difficult terrain so the Tau Crisis Suits were doing hit and run(more like jump) shooting and jumping back behind the wall. You might get injured jumping up and down in difficult terrain because it is difficult but the wall was not difficult terrain so it is like normal terrain but it provide cover.

What the Dark Eldar do? Oh yeah Dark Eldar are Dark Space Elves wearing tight leathers and whips which help them in close combat. So they did nothing but run around with Tau blowing everything up.

Chaos had a Predator(a tank not the creature that fights arnie in vietnam) which they put in one corner of the table, so Tau put their Hammerhead(flying tank) on the opposite corner during deployment lol so the predator spent lotsa time moving around instead of firing lasers from its lasercannons.

So Tau killed most of the Chaos but one Chaos Lord reached the Tau Fire Warriors and he was like tossing them all over the place with his very(X2) powerful pair of lightning claws. He survived the battle because the other Tau could not shoot him while he was mixed up with so many(X2) Tau and he killed many(X2) Tau.

So the Tau won, oh yeah the Tau and Dark Eldar won and defeated Chaos. Er I think they should have put more terrain so there would be more cover and so it would be harder to kill with shooting and therefore less easy for Tau to win.

I hope you like and enjoy my battle report. :D lolol!!!1
#49 Convider[159362]
5 :D
#50 wakiki[159364]
The sad part is that this comment section is alot bigger than plenty of very good reports. And that this comment protesting against the largitude of this comment section is merely contributing to the problem. X_X
#51 badme[159371]
#52 Convider[159374]
#53 Dice[159375]
#54 Eugenioso Chileno[159376]
a little comment for all u dudes who think ure so coll nd stuff:
(IN A SENTENCE, cough cough):1st battle report ever written.
if these msg's were all advising me to improve my next one ( if any at all ) i will, trust me; if they weren't... I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOURS!

p.s.: I am chilean, a little country frm south america, we speak spanish, and now im living in aussieland ( asstralia )
#55 Eugenioso Chileno[159377]
there's a lot of divergences with the opinions, so the people that say that it sucks, don't read it, the people that say it's a ten (weee!) read it all u want.
#56 Eugenioso Chileno[159378]
question: is this the most argued report so far ( i always have that effect ) LMAO, ROFL, MILF
#57 Eugenioso Chileno[159379]
evil chocolate monkey in my pants
oops i did it again in my pants
chocolate st@rfish in my pants
crap attack in my pants
_keep it going..._
#58 micro[159380]
every single person claiming this is 10 material was being terminally sarcastic.
#59 [159381]
Well, I've been reading the comment section for this report for awhile so I finally decided to read the report proper.

It was a terrible experience. The report could've been much improved in all aspects. For a start, decent grammar is pretty much required for any report unless you have a very good reason not to. Being a non-native speaker only gets you a little slack.

I do agree with Dag in that it would take a complete rewrite with lots of new content to get this report up to a gold.

Anyway here's a 2.
#60 maareek[159384]
Wow, nostalgia. It felt really nice reading that again, I should write another report. And I hadn't read redemption's before, it was actually quite enjoyable.

This is nowhere near to being the most contested report ever written. Nor even the most contested written in the last year (anybody remember that sabotage "terran strat guide" or whatever BR? Or that GOD-AWFUL report about that school hostage thing over in wherever it was.) And I'm sure there were others earlier that caused even more controversy.

And whether you are a native or non-native speaker has no bearing on the amount of effort you put into something. Don't get me wrong, I never put very much effort into my reports (or much anything else really :/) but I at least try to make them enjoyable and informative.

You seem to have just sat down and said "hey, I've got 10 minutes...let's make a battlereport!" which doesn't work out, ever, regardless of your grasp of the language of your skill as a writer.
#61 Dice[159386]
I just serched for the Legend of Zelda report its very cool
#62 [159389]
You're Number One!
You're Number One!

Have a number one!
#63 [159390]
Hahaha, I just noticed the name:

"... horrible taste"

#64 Convider[159392]
will you marry me
#65 BeRzErKeR[159393]
I think my eyes have started to bleed. That was the worst thing I've ever seen on this site. Somebody shoot that guy.
#66 Some_God[159394]
Ever heard of TIME... now that was the worse this site has ever seen, lol.
#67 el_sux0r[159396]
Wow, the SG-Time hate is still flowing strong.

For this report, I wavered between deciding that English was not the author's first language, and deciding that, sadly, it was. Now I'm curious, but I don't really hope to find out, as it might destroy what faith I have in the cognitive capacity of mankind.
#68 BlueRibbon[159401]
The only thing I find funny about this report is that it now has 70+ comments. Listen people, instead of wasting your time saying: "Greastest report ever! 10!", "This sucks!" or anything else, go read peoples reports who actually try (such as NewbEye's report that has a modest 41 comments, or any of the recent 7.0+ reports that are averaging less than, or right around, 20 comments (what the fuck?). I, as a reporter myself, know I love comments, However, I really can't stand it when garage gets more attention than good reports.

#69 maareek[159402]

People enjoy bashing on something more than praising something. I've become used to the fact that shit will get at least 60+ comments while my reports(and most other decent/good reports) will be lucky to get over 30.
#70 [159404]
I dunno Blue, you can find some nice things in garages ROFL
#71 OverTheUnder[159405]
first to dag: hahahahahahahha
Maar your comparing your reports to good ones?

#72 MidnightGladius[159406]
To maareek:

Unless you're planning on doing something massively huge like Drefsab's WTWC or .Praetor's PL:C

Then your comments will go into the hundreds...
#73 Dice[159407]
this report is crap
#74 wakiki[159412]
Well maar I think that the fact that people like to bash things does factor into it, but comments are more about things that stand out. Particularly bad things and particularly good things get lots of comments. Your reports are solid, but that's in between the two extremes.

And btw, the one with me in it got lots of comments! You should do more FFA reports with me in them, methinks -.-
#75 snowyday[159413]
This better get triple digits.
#76 Dice[159414]
lets hope so
#77 Lithium[159416]
You know it.
#78 wakiki[159420]
#79 roflcake[159421]
#80 roflcake[159422]
ps someone test the fucking author for ADHD ok
#81 Ashwin[159424]
u 2 lol
#82 Eugenioso Chileno[159432]
i just read my own report 4 the first time and i can't really say it's that bad, so the bad things were:
-downgrading of tau
-A LOT of mispelling
something to think about ( i think... )

so if by any miracle any1 can rate it with something better than 2 or 1's, id appreciate it
#83 maareek[159433]
Well wak, mine only got so many comments because of sheer length and a small amount of controversy (something so big will stir an amount of this by sheer vastness ;/), and of course the spam of yourself...and myself...and to a smaller extent .Praetor and others.

Gladius: somewhat true, but there are other mammoth or ground-breaking reports that have very few comments, or the majority of the comments are last seekers or random spam bullshit. ;/

As far as comment #85 goes...WOW. First of all, the fact that this is the FIRST time you've read it shows that there was no real effort put in it. And if those are the only problems you can I can't even finish that sentence, I'm at a loss. I honestly HOPE that you are trolling because if you aren't...damnit you HAVE to be.

If somehow you aren't, then just W-FUCKING-OW. Can I borrow a cup of ego?
#84 maareek[159434]
oh and over: until you put out your own report have a big heaping cup of STFU. ;p <3
#85 Ashwin[159435]
how about a heaping cup of get on aim bitch? :o
#86 Fangrim[159438]

"i just read my own report 4 the first time and i can't really say it's that bad, so the bad things were:
-downgrading of tau
-A LOT of mispelling
something to think about ( i think... )

so if by any miracle any1 can rate it with something better than 2 or 1's, id appreciate it "

"i just read my own report 4 the first time"

"just read"..."own report" ..."4"..."first"..."time"


Quite frankly, I take back comment #6.

Still, try to make another, it first. >.<
#87 Ashwin[159440]
maybe you'll get a 4 the first time lol
#88 OverTheUnder[159441]
maar im curious, how would u say that...... "DoubleU-Fucking-Ow"? ;D
#89 wakiki[159442]
maar, I don't see why you and others say that ffa report was so long. I didn't think it was that long. Maybe I just enjoyed it alot, I dunno :]
#90 Dice[159443]
to 86

I think hes just stupid
#91 OverTheUnder[159448]
Triple Digits or Bust!
#92 VisMaior[159458]
Its within arms reach!
#93 [159461]
THis report sucks, but the game is even worse

what a shitty game warhammer is =[
#94 MidnightGladius[159467]
War40K is long as people like him/her don't "advertise". :D
#95 OverTheUnder[159507]
Don't Give up now!! btw its shameful to post twice in a row just so u all know:D
#96 Dice[159517]
#97 MidnightGladius[159519]
I'd like to have the dishonor of using the 100th comment to say that you, Eugenioso Chileno, have been sentenced to a life of spam, flames, and abuse.

#98 Eugenioso Chileno[159530]
#99 Eugenioso Chileno[159531]
look at my other report
#100 dustbiter[159532]
#101 snowyday[159536]
damnit i missed post 100

Oh well.


#102 Dice[159549]
#103 Eugenioso Chileno[159570]
omg, the post is filled with utter crap. plz stop writing shit into it
#104 MidnightGladius[159589]
I think you're referring to yourself...
#105 Some_God[159611] :o
#106 wakiki[159612]
#107 [159615]
#108 111[159616]
#109 AbusedProletariat[159626]
This report just needed more underscore bullets...
#110 dustbiter[159630]
Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! It'll make him crazy!
#111 dustbiter[159631]
You can keep sucking and sucking and it never gets any smaller!
#112 [159632]
Underscore bullets? WTF?!
#113 snowyday[160471]
Ok, so the 4 digits comment was a bit optimistic. You all still have to admit how insanely cool it would have been.
#114 MidnightGladius[160475]
Well, if no one would ban me for it, I could always program something to get it up there...
#115 rook020[160476]
just make it happen
#116 LuckyNewbie[160485]
#117 |]agomar[160488]
#118 Eugenioso Chileno[160490]
ban me so i dnt ever have to look at this shitload of bs again
#119 micro[160491]
gosh, i wish someone would make a 7++ report so we had something else to comment on!
#120 MidnightGladius[160493]
Hold on, Micro. Just wait a few more days...depends if I finish the next part before I have to catch my plane back to the US.
#121 sir skum[160864]
truely skum,

he is definatly one of 4 things, or any combination of the following:

1. Stupid
2. Young (like under 12)
3. Crippled (in the head, i know it goes with stupid but this is worse than stupid, like he has ADD combined with brain damage)
4. Really really really sad, like he has no understanding of the concept of "cool" and his place/role in the world regarding this, so therefore has reached the bottomless baseness of attempting to be cool in his uninformed world.

and we already know he is foriegn, so that helps explain,

P S and a conspiracy theory hints at the fact he might be pretending to be these things..

oh yeah & #125!!!!!!! its divisable by 5 you know?
#122 Eugenioso Chileno[161408]
this is really a good place to check for stuff, TAKE IT TO 4 digits! (or 200)
#123 wakiki[161411]
Chileno, 200 is 4 digits.
#124 snowyday[161829]
Just doing my part.
#125 BeRzErKeR[161948]
. . .
No, 200 is NOT four digits. 1000 is four digits.

#126 NotJim[162076]
Chileno, 200 is 4 digits. <--- That should be quoted somewhere. 129.
#127 Eugenioso, CHileno[163776]
but i like spicy food, cause it tastes like toilet paper.
and toilet paper is always so chocolate flavoured penis as to have a fish looter that flies naked in an invisible clown suit
#128 Eugenioso Chileno[167126]
Hah wow, i had forgotten about this trolling that i did back in '05, how amusing it is to find old internet things i did way back when.

Im glad to know you fools noticed it was a troll report, good job.

Im also very glad to have caused some sadistic amount of comments.

I thoroughly enjoyed both writing that piece of trash, as well as laughing with my friends while we read the comments stating the sheer rage that it caused upon thee.

This is Eugenioso, signing off.

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