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#1 wakiki[154709]
cable-68-186-201-180.mtv.al.charter.com
First
#2 wakiki[154710]
cable-68-186-201-180.mtv.al.charter.com
Holy shit. Two firsts in a row. Awesome.

<3

Hope it's good!
#3 [154711]
12-221-64-27.client.insightBB.com
GJ
#4 [154713]
nr11-216-196-184-225.fuse.net
Not bad for a first effort, I mean that by that it WAS an effort. It's fairly obvious that you put at least some time into this, and that's good.

Now, onto some critisim.

1.) The game was not very good, it would seem (more on that later) and mediocre games don't really make for very good battlereports. What I would suggest for next time is to go to www.wgtour.com and download some high-rated TFT replays, and report those.

2.) The writing was acceptable, in that, while not a grand, epic presentation of the game explained it pretty well, except that it was really too short. I'm betting the game was over in 10-20 minutes, but you can surely find more than a page and a half or two pages to write about, especially since YOU were playing in the game. One good tactic is to write more at length about the strategic decisions you made during the game, why you made them, and what you hope to be accomplished by making that decision. e.g "I knew he was going to make early archers, so I got more footmen and Defend, because Defend makes Footmen a lot more effective against archers. I hope I can force a confrontation soon, before he can get Huntresses or some other units."

See there? A whole paragraph of explanations, as well as an insight into your thought process. Now, you may be asking, "How can I do this with a game I didn't play in, such as this 1 on 1 I downloaded from WGTour?"

Well, if you're a good player (in other words, if you know you're a good player -- and really KNOW it, not just bravado) you can probably critique with a fair degree of certainty their decisions. e.g "At this point in the game, Insomnia decided to jump up a teir to Teir 3, probably for the knights and inner fire granted there. However, since Tillerman has Master banshee tech (as we learned from his possession of some strong creeps earlier) I can't say I'd agree with this decision. Insomnia needs to scout more often!" Boom, more than a paragraph.

However, if you're NOT a good player (in other words, if you know you're not a good player -- and really KNOW it, not just self-deprecation) then I would recommend, really, doing the same thing, but with some differences. Make sure you word it like this: "My observation is," or "Looking at the game, I think," or "My opinion is." Things like that. e.g "Well, Killer is starting to switch to Huntresses over the archer force he had earlier. Looking at the respective damage/armor types of the two armies, as well as the numbers, my opinion would be that Caboose is going to crush him like a baby mouse under a sledgehammer, unless, I think, Killer manages to buy enough time by harassing or staying on the offensive so that he can get enough Hunts."

Easy, no?

3.) Okay, the fact that's it's a text-only doesn't bother me. You didn't save the replay (probably because you were at a cyber-cafe) and therefore had no way to get pictures. Not a problem.

One thing that did get a little on my radar of Problems was the basic no-html setup. HTML is easy. Ling's CSS guide on www.warsmith.org makes CSS easy. With those two tools and good writing, you can easily turn a text-only into a masterpiece. Now, of course, images are a Good Thing. I don't know what image-editing programs you have, but all you need is MSPaint and some hand-eye coordination and patience to add borders. Borders are probably the most important component of images in any report. Without borders, they suck. With borders, the simplest non-doctored image becomes, well, a solid piece of the report.

Anyway, good work, and please make more. Heaven knows we need more reporters.

5
#5 wakiki[154714]
199.248.178.47
Heh, yeah. Decent job. I'll second everything EE said, except for the part suggesting that you go to a replay site and download gosu replays. I suggest that if you play a close game with a some action, that would be better. I always prefer a report on a decent game between to relevant players over a report of a good game between two expert players. Of course, reports on gosus can be good, butt hat just what I prefer. Just do what you want ;)
#6 Hikaru[154719]
12-221-64-27.client.insightBB.com
Well im afraid to say this but....I didnt understand ling's css guide.*cries*
#7 [154720]
nr11-216-196-208-216.fuse.net
Well, you must not have put enough effort into understanding it, then. Try again.
#8 wakiki[154721]
cable-68-186-201-180.mtv.al.charter.com
Heh, there's another thing that I disagree with that Eld said. I wouldn't recommend inserting phrases like "I think that" or "It was obvious that." Bleh. These make you sound timid and unsure of yourself, and dilute your writing. Passive voice is, well, Bleh. :( Of course, Eld is a very good writer, and I could be wrong here, so I should probably shut up :(
#9 maareek[154723]
mblt-aa033.gtcom.net
"I could be wrong here, so I should probably shut up"-wakiki

Could'nt have said it better myself. ;p

I don't care for warcraft so I didn't read it, but EE's advice is good for essentially all forms of battlereports.

Hikaru, do you understand basic html? If not, it's not surprising that you don't get the guide; if you do understand it, though, I worry for you. ;)
#10 Turbo_Noob[154724]
adsl-68-22-203-208.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net
Lol wakiki's #5 post says butt hat at the bottom :D
#11 Convider[154726]
HSE-Toronto-ppp307026.sympatico.ca
what?
#12 Desert Demon[154727]
user-0ce2k20.cable.mindspring.com
wak plz listen to your own advice :]
#13 [154728]
12-221-64-27.client.insightBB.com
No I don't understand basic html cuz im the most retarded person when it comes to computers...well ishoudn't say that cuz im sure theres an ethopian person who dosen't even own one.
#14 Hikaru[154729]
12-221-64-27.client.insightBB.com
above post is mine ^^
#15 [154730]
nr11-216-196-184-62.fuse.net
Wak, re: inserting explanatory phrases.

What I think should be clarified here is that when talking or writing about a subject you really don't know about, it's a bad idea to sound like you DO know about it, because people who really do know about it will call you on it. For an extreme example of this, read Sabotage's SC guide, and then the comments section.

As for weakening a timidifying (what?) the writing, it may, a little bit, but remember that's the point. If, for example, I decide to write a report on the fine art of embroidery, and yet, I know zilch about embroidery. Here's what I might say: "SlayerS_BoxeR attacked the cloth with ferocity unmatched by his opponent, using his +10 Needles and his level 6 thread (with the tri-color upgrade!) to annihilate his opponent. Now, the tri-color upgrade is great against mono-color thread because of it's vividness, allowing it to slice through non-technicolor thread with ease."

Right? Sounds like I know my stuff. But then, in the comments section..."

#42 WacoTexasSucks[158678]
why-am-i-still-posting-here.com
Wow, you are a total embroidery n00b. Obviously have no idea what your talking about. tri-color is a worthless upgrade because bi-color is soooo much cheaper and pwns tri-color. also boxer is a total hacker LAMER and Yellow owns his bones!!!

#43 Some_Guy - Rater[666666]
god-forbid@nooooo.ack
Okay man, look, I know you wanna be a cool BRer and all, but do a little research, yeah? Next time try to actually write about something you know.

3

See? No good will come of it!
#16 maareek[154731]
mblt-aa033.gtcom.net
Um...the examples make me scrath my head but, I agree with EE's points. :)
#17 Mark4[154732]
Holy crap Eld, you sure are helpful =]
#18 Battletech[154735]
219-88-165-103.jetstream.xtra.co.nz
thnx for the comments guys, i'll think bout sum of them
#19 wakiki[154736]
cable-68-186-201-180.mtv.al.charter.com
Hehe, okay, I understand now Eld ;)

And on another note, an embroidery report would be AWESOME. Go write it please. Haha, that example was excellent :)
#20 .Praetor[154737]
c-24-10-97-163.client.comcast.net
"I cant even remember what map we played on."

... 4. But you had complete sentences, so it got a silver.
#21 Smeagol[154739]
proxy5.tpgi.com.au
LOL at praetor...
Anyway man u must be the first sheep shager to write a br :P
Eld's advice was pretty good, but really if you want to keep writing br's text only's shouldnt be too bad, and just remember to save a replay or two of good games (if u can) and possibly write a more detailed br... and maybe remember which map u were playing on... :D
Im not 100% sure, but i think you might of been playing on the map two rivers (the one with two bridges and an expansion right near ur base).
Anyway u didnt seem like that bad a player, though i fail to see how you could of killed a fiend (and almost killed a second) without defend a only 3 foots vs 4-6 fiends... i mean comon man either u had like 8 foots or he had only a few fiends... that was just something i noticed (either that or he must of been retarded enough to not coil or micro back that fiend...).
Good effort thou and like eld said WE DESPERATELY NEED NEW BATTLE REPORTERS and personally wc3 ones :D
Btw man whats ur's and ur friends nic online??? mines possumo on west
#22 maareek[154740]
150.176.83.61
I agree with both raters, I'm very agreeable today. And yesterday, apparently.
#23 Asmodues[154741]
fltg-dslttc1-30.fltg.net
Not the best report in the world, but your writing, while not wonderful, has some points in it's favor:
You use grammar (+835736)
You have enough descriptive skill that I can picture what is going on, which is sexcellent. (+3)
No pictures :( (-835734)
Final score: 5

Keep pluggin' away!

(Stay tuned for the upcoming Zasmolings report, folks.)
#24 snowyday[154742]
24.107.151.76.charter-stl.com
I disagree with maar. Just because he's so damn agreeable, and I want to see him argue or something.
#25 Chris[154743]
astound-66-234-209-145.ca.astound.net
Basically, you used this at the end.

He sent his forces and attacked, then withdrew, then I attacked and beat him.

Which defeats the whole purpose of a battlereport.

2.5



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