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"I knew some shenanigans were afoot."

#1 -=~Kadabra~=-[153089]
#2 Tripe[153093]
Second. O_o For a game that I don't even play, you made me feel like I knew what was going on most of the time. And it made me smile. Yay you.
#3 indeed[153094]
this shit wasnt funny. try being less of a faggot comedian, maybe your report wouldn't sound so fucking retarded then
#4 hidden[153097]
I must be honest.. I only skimmed the report...
But one thing I noticed: Bold Arial as font : very much like poo

.. but what do I know :P
#5 Lithium[153100]
It was a good report. However two things bugged me.

"Powers that would not go away unless Pox was defeated in-game by a being of pure brilliance and sexiness. And that very thing came to pass in this fateful ladder game..."

You told me who was going to win before I read the report. That took away most interest in the game, but the writing wasn't bad and kept me going. Also, you referred to your opponent as both Pox and Thor at various times. Stick with one and you'll be fine. Keep it up though. 6-7.
#6 endersshadow[153101]
Mmm. I like :).

Your pictures were awful. If you would like I can help you with them or you could just see how to create effective collages by checking out YRM's reports. Things like not having borders, throwing the time in at the bottom to disrupt the battle scene, etc. just sort of bugged me. I don't know.

The reason I liked this so much was the writing. Not including the player introductions and randomly sprinkled pedophile/sex jokes, you had me smiling with the humor. In terms of strategy, you were dead on. The opening paragraphs of the game where you described your base set up to deter hero harassment were great, and most of the battles were exciting.
#7 endersshadow[153102]
"So, thinking quickly (hahahah), I run my army towards the Naga, and when half of my aspiring army is around the “victim Naga,” I rapidly push the “m” key, surrounding the poor innocent Naga who only wanted to kill people... is that a crime!?"

I don't know what to think on that one. 7.5, please make more :O.
#8 endersshadow[153104]
I agree
#9 PeaceableGhost[153105]
Immediate I saw your intro, I thought, "4". (See Lithium's comment.) Then, actually reading the report, I was thinking, "Hmm, this is a 7 or 8." Only there were too many just pointless "jokes" that weren't funny.

#10 [153107]
I agree with most commenters so far - a lot of seemingly pointless forced humour.

Nevertheless, seeing a War3 game with a Tinker, not to mention atleast somewhat different strats used, got me going.

Like ender said, the anti-hero-harrassment was bloody brilliant, never heard of that one, even with me being a night elf player.

I enjoyed the report, so: 8
#11 [153108]
Very much of the humor you had was forced and contrived, indeed, some of it was simply not funny no matter how you wrote it. Don't try as hard next time, let the humor come to you. A lot of humor is not neccesarry in a battlereport, merely icing on the cake, and poor humor can detract from it.

With that out of the way, your writing otherwise was good. Descriptive, informative, full of tidbits of strategy. A few spelling/grammar errors but nothing serious, and nothing repeated, so I assume they were typos. Also, as Lithium said, you told us who would win which sort of made the experience less enjoyable because the game itself was very fun.

As for your images, they told the story, but that's it. Next time, if you can, grab a program called GIMP and add simple borders around your images. Nothing else is needed.

As for coding, next time, grab a black background and white text for bare-bones minimum easy-on-the-eyesness.

A very good first effort, though. To summarize, clean up the humor, borders on the pictures, and a bit more complex HTML stuff, and you'll be getting high golds easy.

I will give this a seven. Good work.
#12 LameJoker[153110]
Nice job, make more plz. I enjoyed most of the humor.
#13 [153111]
LameJoker, do you know how ironic that is?

=] I kid.
#14 ViolentVBC[153112]
I actually wasn't expecting this to get a very good reception at all, as it was my 1st try at a report (yeah, I originaly came here for the replays), but I am really glad most of you have pointed out the parts I could do better so that I can improve on any future reports.

In the past, I had a trial version of Paint Shop Pro, and could do a good job editing images and the like, but that trial ran out (I didn't want to steal the program by downloading a patch) and now I'm stuck with Microsoft Paint... Most definitely the worst image editing software I have ever used. I could rant about the crappiness of MS Paint for a long period of time, but I know it won't help any. So if any of you have links to any *freeware* image editing programs (that can also convert TGA files), I'd appreciate you posting them :)

One more thing about the images; It has been said that putting the time (and I'm sure the food supply parts were alluded to here) on the screenshots breaks up the action, so would it be better if I just put these things in a caption under the pics? Is there anyone who actually liked the time ellapsed info on the pics?

I thought the humor probably wouldn't work as I was writing the replay (and after re-reading it), as it kind of breaks up the continuity of the report to have a paragraph of serious strategy disscussion followed by a "joke" one that really doesn't pertain to anything.

But again, all errors I hope to leave out of any future report...

Oh, and thanks for not giving me 1s and 2s for ratings! I had feared it might be rated pretty low as a first report attempt.

#15 wakiki[153113]
Heh, I liked it.

Actually, I first started viewing this report in Internet Explorer, and it was fairly horrendous(long 1-word-wide columns) but then I switched to Mozilla and it was fine.

I liked the style and the game. The elapsed time put in the pics didn't bother me, but it didn't help me either. The style was a little forced, but interestig, and your description of what was going on was very clear. It certainly deserves the gold that it got.
#16 .Praetor[153114]
I gave the report a 6. The good points were that the pictures looked all right, though it was hard to tell how most of the battles went through the pictures. (What was being cylconed? What was in a drunken haze?) You were also pretty consistent in keeping us informed on the basics of what was happening right up through the end of the game. I thought I was going to give it a 5 at first, but you didn't experience that end-game drop off that many reports seem to suffer from.

But there were lots of bad parts with the writing. DON"T tell us who's going to win in the introduction. That was a big no-no. Don't point out when you use a cliche. Cliches are there for a reason - they set the tone and mood rather effectively. When you point them out you're just mocking your own writing. And not in a funny way. In a 'that was sad' way. And yeah, like everyone said, steal someone else's formatting and modify to make it look better.
#17 LameJoker[153118]
lol, what can I say?
#18 [153122]
Re; Freeware image editing: GIMP is a large file (400 meg dl), but is open source and can do most of the things Photoshop can. Grab it.
#19 PeaceableGhost[153124]
Actually, I rather enjoyed the pointing out of cliches. I thought it was one of those touches that make a decent report good. Just don't overdo that sort of thing (in other words, if you used it in another report, it would be a definite turn-off).
#20 BlueRibbon[153129]
I'd have to agree with Praetor here. 6 sounds about right. It could have been a lot better with better image editing, and if you had taken a little bit more time. But it was still a nice first try.

#21 Red6[153133]
Am I the only one who think this report deserve a 7.5 at the very least? (That is besides Ling)

The writing I found witty and humorous. It wasn't the typical humor you find and some of it could be offensive, however I personally thought it was a good addition. I only found one spelling mistake, alter instead of altar, which is a huge plus when many reports have a bunch of them.

The introduction at the beginning was obviously a bad choice. But let's be honest people, how many reports have you seen where the reporter is one of the players in the game and loses? I do not believe I have seen any, or if I have I cannot recall them off the top of my head, and I've been here for awhile. I think it is usually pretty obvious that the reporter is going to win.

The game itself was okay. Some parts were kind of sudden and I disagree with Praetor, I believe that the ending was a bit forced and abrupt. I also think that some parts of the game are left a bit shady. For example there is one battle where he has a picture of like 6 HH, 7 Raiders, a bat, and I think a kodo and two heroes. You said you had a chim, a huntress, and like 2 talons. There is no way in hell you could have pulled a battle like that off which makes me wonder what really happened.

Additionally you didn't mention what level the enemy's heroes were.
#22 FlyingSquirrel[153135]
Units die fast in enemy base assault so I've found out.

I've lost battles which I thought were impossible to lose! Yet it happens.

I still don't see what the big hype over borders are, I don't know maybe you guys are like....


Borders do absoultely nothing for me. I loved the report, I thought the text was funny, and that you taught enough strategy to make it boring.

So I'd say 7.5ish normally, but since it's your first time... 2!
#23 [153140]
Ok, like eveyone above me said, your humor was much too forced on eveything. Considering you're ranked and play high level people, i would have much rather read about strategic insights about the game progression, than exactly how that guy got his amazing war3 powers. I'd rather read about how orc vs nelf is usualy played at the moment and how games go.

Some parts looked rushed, you mentioned your tinker getting to lvl3 but passed over what items he picked up and what camps he creeped.

Thirdly, when even praetor properly formats his reports, its a good idea to consider it yourself. Black text on white background is painful enough to read, just having huge bold text isnt helping one bit, and with the standards brs have reached, not formating or badly formating a report is a big drawback.

On the good side, the game was interesting to say the least, you should have included the replay with the report. It's not often you see both a pandaren and tinker in the same game.

The strategy parts where welcome (moon wells on wisps, item buying economy etc). More would have a much better impact since you're obviously skilled enough.
#24 Chris[153157]
Keep working on it. Try to make your report more exciting visually. You may have a kick ass game, but if it doesn't look good, then no one will read it.

Other than that, keep it up and listen to the raters. Except for JV.
#25 .Praetor[153160]
Lol Dialtone. So true.
#26 Shuriken[153167]
looked so much like Sabotage's first br, and for that i think its worth a 7.

great job man, although id prefer SC over War3. awesome for a first.
#27 StupidTourist[153176]
Liked the report but really enjoyed watching your Pandamonium incarnate! and Undead mine steal replays more. Good Job!

When is Starcraft 2?.......I want a level 10 Jim Raynor
#28 mattzarella[153185]
alright, IE has some major problems with this report.. had to copy paste it into handy dandy simpletext (f u internet explorer)

i really don't see where everyone is coming from on the masses of forced humor stuff. the introductions were the only places where i cringed from it, but everywhere else it was fine (albeit boring). when you did make some jokes, they were mostly toilet humor. keep in mind that i use this term generally - anything from fart jokes to your mom jokes to ghetto jokes are included in the category, so just try to stay away from them as much as you can.

aside from having some bland and unfunny jokes, they really weren't forced everywhere. the reason people believe so is because when they come across a joke, it's usually not funny - it ruins the flow.

to give this a more professional look, you want to do a few things

1. don't use a bold font, and take the size down a bit
2. most people would prefer white on black rather than the opposite. it's just that black on white looks like you put less effort into it, whether this may be the case or not. give it a more refined look
3. don't use more than one exclamation mark. EVER! to give super-emphasis on something, put it in bold, italics, or even underline it - but never ever evrerevevvevrverver use more than one exclamation mark!!!
4. please make sure it works in IE.. i know a lot of the cooler people use fancy browsers, but poor kids like me can't afford to upgrade to a system that will allow them to do so. IE is still the most widely used browser on this site, and it's a big inconvenience when someone has to switch browsers to view your report.

like i mentioned in Kadabra's comments - always expect your report to blow people away. don't settle for "well this is my first report, it's not supposed to be good", because that's not true at all. granted that a lot of first reports blow ass, but you don't have to be one of those people! stand up to your rights! this is a website founded on THE GROUNDS OF FREE REPORTING! GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME SHITTY RTS REPORTS
#29 ViolentVBC[153194]
As for the browers compatibility thing, though I do use Earthlink's Browser, I thought for sure it would work in IE just as well, as I only used simple HTML...

Aside from <br>, <p>, <font>, <img>, and <center> tags I didn't really use anything that would mess it up... I did, however, put the entire report into an 85% width table (I can't stand having text go all the way across the screen).

Now if this site automatically puts reports into some wierd table, then that may have had something to do with it...
#30 mattzarella[153197]
yeah automatically puts in a table width.. to change that, just link to your report externally
#31 [153204]
If you put your report into a relative width table (85%) instead of a fixed width table, the size of the table changes according to the display settings of each user. You should use a fixed width table to avoid changes but it doesn't affect the report much unless you are using complex picture and text interweaved alignments. does have default settings of:
-width 600 pixels
-white background
-black arial font

The settings are easy to change, all you need to do is specify what you want (inside a table of course) and the settings will change accordingly.

Looked fine in IE 6 for me.
#32 [153205]
As for the report, I have to agree with much that has already been said about the report. Since there is contradicting opinions however I should explain.

The game itself sounded good and your strategy explanations were very nice. When you said what you did and why was very helpful in understanding.

As the others said, your text was frequently intersped with jokes and other comments. Some were funny but others were a bit disruptive to the story flow. Its not bad to have such comments, but they a few could be placed out of the immediate report. You could use alt/title text on pictures or text to keep them nearby but not in the way. Some minor errors as well, you said he was mining from his "western natural" but you were in the west and his expansion was to the east.

Pictures were alright but could've used some more editing/polishing to make them prettier. The pictures as is won't harm the report much but they don't help it significantly either.

It also would've been helpful if you said what levels the heroes were at during the battles in the game. I think you only mentioned it twice, both for your Tinker when it reached level 3 and when it got its ultimate.

What to rate your report? I don't know exactly. The report feels somewhere between a 6 and a 7 to me. Close to a 7 but not overwhelmingly so. I'll give it a 6 but with a little more work it would've easily been a 7.

P.S. You can use Report Center to store your images rather than external webhosts. If your picture host goes down, this report loses its images (and maybe text if you fileread from there too).
#33 Chris[153446]
Who gave this an 8? Someone needs to step down as rater. :P
#34 Darth Hater[153493]
Lol, this report was great/funny.

Much better than the "same-old-same-old" that I've seen in evry other (boring) report.

This deserves at least a 9.
#35 iwas[153615]
loved it, good work

i thought most of the jokes were pretty funny and at least a creative change from "the naga got surrounded and died", and "the panda tried to run away but the BM and ensnare killed him."

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