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"Get a screenshot of this nuke"

#1 funnymarx[95150]
Before you post your thoughts, I'd like to say a few words. . . .

"I don't know what they have to say, it makes no difference anyway, whatever it is, I'm against it. No matter what it is, or who commenced it, I'm against it.
You proposition may be good, but let's have one thing understood, whatever it is, I'm against it. And even when you've changed it or condensed it, I'm against it."

That being said, enjoy.


"That's the most nauseating proposition I've ever heard."
#2 I)ark[95151]
second! woohoo
#3 CrackHeadJeb[95152]
"Although the nuke wasn't between his legs, it didn't stop him from giving a little "Yeeehaw" before he, and the Protoss robotics facility were vaporized."

Stanley Kubrick references own hard.

And this is the funniest battlereport I have ever read. =]

Awesome job!

#4 iggy[95153]
stop trying to sound intelegent

"siezing up the momoment"

improper usage of modern english, or shakespearian english

got boring half way through

no pr0n

#5 el_sux0r[95154]
woot! Those who love long games especially should revel in this one. Your pics >> my no-pics. Maybe one day I'll finally get around to posting those two other BR's.

iggy - so, clearly we should do as you have, and attempt to sound infantile instead. =)
#6 joe[95158]
haha it hought this was gonna suck at beginning but kept getting better my only suggestion is make the pics a bit bigger i had trouble seeing them because im a 78 year old man with cataracts . =[ your humor is a 10 you pics are a 5 your game was a 3 but your humor was a 10 so u get an 11 :)



i love it that my rating opinion means shit :)
#7 [SM]Strega~F[95160]
Holy crap, huge! The fact that I'm a slow reader just made it worse, but that can't be helped. Pretty funny stuff for the most part.
I'd give a 9, simply because I want to get a 10 before you do. (Like that'll ever happen!)
Great report, keep it coming.
Say hi to your mum for me! (Australian reference, don't pay attention to me for this fact)

#8 haxld[95161]
#9 Patton1944[95165]
"The conjoined minds of Lemadon and Mersadorr saw their combined 1600 years of life flash before their eyes: school days at the temple complex back on Auir. . . . hitting on older templar women psionically from across the room as young neophytes. . . . fighting against the dark templars during the civil war."
OMFG,that is pure ownage. This game was long,which is very good. Nukes=Gosu BR. Your pics are cool( 5 marines exploding at once is sexy), and your writing style owns hard.
This is the funniest-ass BR i've EVER read.
#10 pebbles[95171]
Hillarious, and well worth the time invested into reading it.
I look forth to reading more of youre reports.

end of transmission....
#11 Ling-erie[95180]
"Unfortunately, the evil Protoss military-industrial complex had so heavily polluted the SCV's normal migratory pathway with cannons that not one made it to the mating grounds."

Quote this or die

10/10 IF............. u had made some of the earlier pics bigger, they were too small, so u only get a 9.5 =o

thanx, excellent writing styl, refreshing ending, and -0.5 points for the gay black text which really pisses me of having to highlight it all the time.

Overall grade = 9.0

And THAT my freinds is y i'll NEVER bwe a rater (thanx JV, gw!)

#12 LuckyNewbie:P[95236]
"Instantly, I found a target of such value, such strategic import that I could not resist detonating a nuke there. This place was occupied by. . . . two photon cannons. Reason protested that there must be a better way to waste 200/200, but I told reason to go sit in the back with morality and common sense." --- Laughed for 10 minutes

I thought this was crap till i saw what everyone else said, then read it, and laughed my ass off. Took me half an hour. You put lots of time into this, thank god for replays. Long game, good game, good map, etc... Make more!

#13 Robert Frazer[95261]
Your style is well-executed, adding flavour as well as great detail. I enjoyed it heartily.
To make a point, some of your pictures were very small and hard to read. Or was that the intention ("This pic reads...")
Good job.
#14 funnymarx[95262]
Rating without comment. . . . I admire your efficiency and benevolance oh great un-named rater in the sky...


"First of all, your overhead is too high, and your brow is too low..."
#15 Clay.Camel[95263]
wooow........only 14 comments so far for this great report. Guess you have to be oart of the "in crowd" to get over 20. This was very funny indeed and well written. Keep them coming...........I can't watch replays at work :(

#16 Supercod[95271]
I liked this. I dont think 7 rax 8 depot is standard, though.

8 1/2
#17 Supercod[95272]
I liked this. I dont think 7 rax 8 depot is standard, though.

Rating = 8 1/2
#18 TheAmazingJack[95290]
Amazing writing skills, man. I only wish I could wrote battle reports half as funny as this one. I mean, who actually goes into over exaggerating EMPing an Archon or bashes himself continually? Great stuff. As said before Pics coul've been better, but I like they way you set them up. Arrows, circles, and stuff were helpful. Keep 'em coming buddy.

#19 xld[95292]
why are there only 19 comments on this? :|
#20 DeonPeon[95313]
I kinda got bored after the players were obviously not good. If they're doing stupid stuff, and it's not funny, I don't read it. I even kept reading random paragraphs through it, and to me it never got any better.
#21 LuckyNewbie:P[95317]
well he wont get over 20 if nobody else posts after me.... D'oh!
#22 CrackHeadJeb[95325]
With better games you'll average 9-10 easy. =]

#23 dildo[95334]
i like dildo,s
#24 Katome[95347]
<i>That</i> was one funny BR! I have never encountered anyone on SC with such a thorough command of language. Most of them seem to be ignorant of the existence of capitalization and punctuation of any kind, and have <font color="red" title="If you understand this, good for you. And if this forum-ish thing doesn't support HTML, damn you.">monosylabic</font> vocabularies. I didn't mind the pics, and it was certainly a good read! Thats definately a 10!

Seeing as you like to put quotes everywhere, heres something...

"When it comes to thought, <font color="red" title="Most, 99.999%, very nearly all.">some</font> people stop at nothing.


#25 Aki[95349]
I like cheese

#26 LuckyNewbie:P[95371]
Rotfl, this reports is in dire need of being quoted. Even the comments section

"I only wish I could wrote battle reports half as funny as this one."
#27 Spuzz[95409]
Great job. I loved the Archon's life flashing before their eyes bit, lol. I guess my only compaint is the small pictures, but I was getting more enjoyment out of the text anyway :)

Keep em coming.

#28 TheAmazingJack[95430]
Amazingly, I was quoted......

"Amazingly, I was quoted......"~ Quote by TheAmazingJack

Ha! I quoted myself!
#29 TerranTurtle[95434]
You have amazing talent and a dry wit.
#30 Ana[95436]
your name blows so i can't like this all that much
#31 ground-LOBP-[95520]
omg the self-deprecation and the humor, I didn't mind the small pics, the game was good because of back-and-forth exp destruction and I liked ALL the humor stuff that people already quoted in the comments PLUS much, much more if you call within the next two hours for only $19.95!
#32 TerrenMahem[95977]
U have a wit and a sense of humor that made me cry with laughter. I like laughter. Plz provide more healing power of laughter in the form of more reports like this. Me love those funny as hell comments u put in the highlighted words and pics!! I give this report a 11. Yes, beyond perfect. Because its been a while sence i laughed so hard. <BUUUURP!!>. scuse me.
#33 Barage[98535]
To be true, if this was just a replay I would probably cringe (replays of silly actions bug more then bring a chuckle).

Now that I read the BR, I'm begging you to post the replay. I NEED to see the 'archon's last breath' and the constant nuking of 2 cannons. :D
#34 el_sux0r[104036]
wow, people still post on this?

This was before replays existed :P I remember reviewing it and basically it 0wned my 1st report.
#35 CrackHeadJeb[126381]
I think it owns just about everyone's first report. ;)

September 8, 2002. 3:47 PM CST.

#36 PeaceableGhost[158417]
ROFL. Owns my first report... maybe I should write another one so I don't get stuck with a 2.5 lifetime average...

May 19, 2005, screw the time.
#37 AlferdPacker[165279]
Re: el_sux0r

Clearly it doesn't predate replays, he mentions the replay in the first paragraph of the report!

Although I don't think 1.08 replays are compatible with the newer patches.

#38 Psyonic_Reaver[165842]
This was good stuff. Wish I had been more active back in the day with commenting. =p


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